Mikka and I were in the alley along the bar, our lips pressed together and our bodies flush without an inch between. Our stiffened members were crushed together between us and I pinned him tighter against the dirty wall. He moaned and bucked his hips slightly, making me gasp at the involutary friction.

"Marco? Where are- SHIT!" Tuomas came around the corner and froze in shock. We pulled apart quickly and I turned to face him.

"Tuomas-"

"What are you doing!?" His voice was high and strained.

I kissed Mikka one last time, whispering, "I'll try to call you later," against his lips. Then I turned back to face the shocked keyborder. "C'mon, let's have this discussion in the bus." I figured that it would probably not be a quiet conversation.

He followed me back to our tour bus and as we entered and shut the door he grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him. "You... you were kissing a MAN!!" He said it as though I had killed his mother.

"I was aware of that, yes." I was going to stay calm. Getting defensive never helped state my case.

"You're not gay! You're married!!" He was wide-eyed. "I don't understand...Marco. I don't understand..." The look on his face spoke of uncertainty. His confusion hurt to look at. I held out my arms and he came to me, letting me comfort him in the only way that we had ever been able to since Tarja's departure from the band. We both gasped as he got too close and brushed up against my still aroused body, I at the flash of lust that shot through me and he in surprise and embarrisment. Flushing, he pulled away, shying from me. "Oh, you're..." He couldn't meet my gaze and determinedly looked at the wall over my shoulder.

I wished he would look at me. "Sorry, Mikka and I were... yeah..."

"You were gonna fuck." The sound of his voice made me wince. My head snapped up in shock and I found myself pinned to the wall, his lips by my ear. "You were gonna fuck, weren't you, you fag-whore!?" He slid his hand down my chest and squeezed my straining cock tightly. "This is turning you on, isn't it?"

I could only stare at him in shock as my body betrayed me like always and throbbed in his grip. My twisted sense of reality had never been more unwelcome than it was now. I had wanted him for too long to resist, even if it was just short of rape. I was brought back to reality as I knew it when I felt his fingers opening my shorts and sliding into my boxers. They met my heated flesh and I groaned, head falling back against the wall as my body shook with desire. All of my blood was flooding my groin and I was getting so close to the edge of release. He could feel it too as he began to pump me heavily.

"Slut!" He spat it, his tone full of loathing. He began long, tugging strokes and within a few moments I came all over his hand, my back arching as I was lost to oblivion. Pulling out his hand, he wiped his sticky and coated fingers in my hair, turned, and left the bus without a word. I stared after him, realizing that I had essentially just been sexually assaulted by the man I lusted after. Numbly I went to my luggage in the back of the bus and got clean boxers and went to change.

After washing my semen out of my hair, I looked at myself in the little mirror over the mini-sink. I looked normal enough but for the haunted look in my eyes, a look that I would have to mask. The damp spot in my hair was nearly dry. I went back into the bar and sat down on the stool between Jukka and the wall as though nothing had happened.

"Where'd you go? Tuomas went to find you." The drummer turned to me curiously, his expression good natured. I wished I could share his feelings.

I shrugged casually, "Went to get something from the bus." It was not really a lie, I had been in the bus after all. There was no way that I was going to bring it up again with Tuomas sitting three seats away.

"Sure you did, you stupid fag. You were all but fucking that creep outside!"

So much for it not being brought up. I sighed, turning to look at him across the others. "Tuomas, what did I do to you?"

He sneered, a look that I thought was painful to witness on his usually so gentle features. "You'll probably jack off to me later in the shower. It's payment in advance." He turned back to his drink, ignoring me.

This was going beyond too far. I lost the thin control that I had had on my anger. "Haven't you already done that for me? Oh, and by the way my hair is not a fucking napkin!" The fist came out of nowhere and knocked me back into the wooden paneled wall behind me heavily. Shaking my head to clear it of the impact, I snarled wordlessly. Jukka and Emppu were holding him back as he tried to get at me and I grinned, I had a stationary target. I caught him by the collar and yanked him closer. "I could file sexual assault charges on you. I won't this time, but..." I let my voice trail off menacingly and watched as the other two men began to understand the origin of the argument.

Letting him go, I watched for a moment as he began trying to throw them off again, weighing my options. I gave in to my hurt pride and lashed out and punched him square in the nose, breaking it with a snap. The man nearest me grabbed me around the chest, pulling me back.

"Whoa man, calm down." In this moment it didn't matter who I was, it was just another bar fight. I had a feeling that we wouldn't be welcome back in here again. Tuomas had stumbled back with a cry of pain, his hand coming up to hold his nose, blood dripping down his wrist and staining the perfect white sleeve of his shirt. I figured that it was symbolic of his guilt. Shrugging again I relaxed and felt the restraining arms release me. Pushing my hair out of my face, I left the bar once again in silence broken only by the sound of whispers as the story was passed along the crowd, no doubt getting more and more dramatic by the retelling. It would be in the papers tomorrow.