'Well balls.' thought Naruto as he stared at the gaping chest before keeling over and leaving his mortal coil. The next thing Naruto knew he was standing in a grassy field with the most beautiful women he had ever seen in front of him.
"Greetings Naruto Uzumaki. I am Kami." she said
"Huh? Which one?" he asked confused.
"What?" she said cocking her head to side.
"I mean which Kami are you?" Naruto clarified.
"I am Kami. The Kami of Kami." she said.
Naruto gave her bewildered stare and said "I don't think that's actual a thing."
"Hey which one of is the Kami here? Me or you?" Kami snapped at him irritably.
Naruto raised his hands in surrender and said "Sorry."
Kami sniffed and said "Anyway I have been watching your entire life and..."
"Wait! Like when I was bathing and stuff, because if you were that would be creepy." interrupted Naruto.
Kami eyes quickly shifted back and forth before saying "Of course not. Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted, I have been watching you your entire life and your struggle touched my heart. No one before you has suffered such a painful childhood as you and so I am giving you a second chance at life."
Naruto perked up and said "Really?!"
"Pfffttt. Ahahahaha. No." said Kami doubled over from laughing.
Scowling Naruto glared at her and yelled "What the hell!"
"Sorry. Sorry. Actual wait no I am not, your face was hilarious." she said giggling "Don't get me wrong kid your childhood sucked balls and all, but you don't even make it into the top one hundred shitty childhoods, let alone bad enough to get you a second chance at life. I mean there was this one kid were is dad tried to kill him over and over again for years driving him into insanity and that kid is not even in the top ten shitty childhoods. You frankly got nothing on that."
Glowering at her Naruto said "What was the whole point to this then?"
"I was just messing with you for shits and giggles." she said amused.
"So I am going to be least rewarded for being a good person?" he asked annoyed.
"Nope!" she said with glee.
"What!? Why not!? I lived my life doing good deeds and stuff, I deserve something!" he said.
"That's debatable, but it honestly doesn't matter, you go to Yomi just like everyone else. So bye!" she said with a sadistic smile.
Naruto fell screaming into the earth and into the realm of death and shadow where he spent the rest of eternity. Kami chuckled to herself "That never gets old." Out of the corner of her eye she saw a new spirit of the dead. "Greetings Sasuke Uchiha. I am Kami." she said
AN: I don't know if you ever read those stories were 'Kami' gives Naruto a second chance with superpowers, but I always found it the stupidest thing ever. First there is no 'Kami'. Second Naruto childhood is shitty, but is not that bad, certainly not bad enough that any divine figure would take notice. Third in Shinto all the dead go to Yomi no matter what they were like in life and Yomi is pretty much like Hades.