I look in the mirror at my reflection, making a face by scrunching up my forehead and nose while smirking. My friend Charlotte sighs, bobby pins sticking out of the side of her mouth as she tries to tame my hair into a proper mess of curly hair.
"You know, you could at least try to act as if you want to go to the dance… at least for my sake?"
"But you know that I don't," I say bluntly, taking a bobby pin from the dresser beside me and fastening a strand of hair that she had missed. I lift my chin and smile as I examine the wild curls. I like it. My smile quickly falls however when I remember why I don't want to go to the dance. "You know already that he's going to be there since he's the one who's organising it, so we're going to bump into him for sure. Because of that, I would rather avoid the dance entirely." Our eyes meet in the mirror and I know that she remembers how I told her of when Fritz Darcy first arrived six months before at P. R. Edges Private College and the first time that I encountered his pride and snobbishness.
P. R. Edges Private College is overrun by the rich, schooling sons and daughters of famous actresses and businessmen as well as heirs to major corporations, making up much of its student body. Six months ago, there had been news of two new students transferring into the school and, because of the rumour that they both were extremely rich, even more so than the three richest students put together, their celebrity was instant and they became the number one thing talked about amongst students.
Just remembering how his friend, Charles Bingley, had seemed so open and natural beside the quiet and proud Fritz Darcy puts me in a bad mood whenever it crosses my mind. But it's not because he'd ignored almost everyone, and it wasn't because he acted like he was better than anyone else; it was the fact that I'd overheard a conversation between Darcy and Bingley that I did not like one bit. I could remember the words he'd said, uttered after Bingley had spoken first.
"There are so many gorgeous girls here! I saw the nicest one on my way in though, her hair was so shiny! She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen! You saw her too though! So you can't really disagree with me on that, can you Fritz?" Bingley had then looked expectantly at Darcy, who'd looked around him with cold indifference.
"I'm sorry, but I don't see anyone here that's even close to good looking. I think the only slightly nice looking person here was the one you talked to earlier." He'd then glanced my way and had dismissed my flaring eyes by glancing away and proceeding to ignore me completely. My face burns at the memory. Jerk.
That hadn't been the worst of it though. Afterwards, I would repeatedly bump into him in the hallways and he would often look at me, probably judging me with his overly enlarged ego. There was only one good thing about their coming, and that was Bingley meeting Jane. For a couple of months now they've been flirting nonstop and my hope is that they'll soon start going out, since it's obvious from both sides (if only slightly less from Jane's because of her shy personality) that they're meant for each other. If only Darcy could be as funny and nice as Bingley… I shake the thought from my head and turn as the door to the room opens, and there stands Jane in all her beauty, wearing a light lavender dress that falls to her calves. She is the very image of radiance and light.
"Are you two ready to go?" she asks, smiling. Our mother comes in behind her, her heavy perfume immediately reaching my nostrils. My mother has a tendency of buying anything that is in fashion and it seems like perfume is in again…
"Are you almost ready, girls?" she asks, practically dancing towards us, "I'm so excited! You know that Bingley senior lent his most beautiful house to his son so he could welcome everyone properly. About time too! Oh, and what a catch! If only that smug Darcy would get manners equal to Bingley's. Then maybe we could have two marriages in the family!" My mother clapped her hands together in her excitement. My father then walks calmly inside the room and pulls her towards the door.
"Come on, dear… you don't want to go embarrassing your daughters. We have to go… you still aren't ready for tonight's function." My mother squeals in delight and dances from the room. I smile at my father, who returns my smile as he leaves. We're not the richest family, but we're happy.
Two hours… TWO… HOURS… I wander through the crowd looking for Charlotte, who I haven't seen at all since we arrived. Jane's also nowhere to be found, no matter how hard I look. Jane's absence worries me because I haven't seen Bingley anywhere since the beginning of the night, making unpleasant thoughts enter my mind. What if Bingley isn't here…? If Bingley is not here, Jane would've been crushed. Charlotte I am not as worried about, because I know that she'd come here with the sole intention of dancing and so I know her to be somewhere in the other room, where the dancing is going on. I'd danced a little bit earlier, but my restlessness towards Jane's disappearance wouldn't allow me on the dance floor for very long. I am so relieved though that I haven't talked to Darcy, who I'd caught a glimpse of when I got here but who I have fortunately not seen since. I continue to wander through the crowd in search of SOME sign, any sign of Jane with no luck.
Someone suddenly steps in my path and, looking up in surprise, I see Darcy there, looking at me with an intense look in his eyes. The stare instantly sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Before I could react, he holds out his hand, asking me to dance. Without thinking, I agree and, his hand taking mine, he leads me towards the dance floor. The shock finally wearing off, I mentally kick myself. What am I thinking? Dancing with Darcy is the last thing I want to be doing when I'm so worried about Jane. I don't want to be rude though, even if he was really rude to everyone anyways. I refuse to sink down to his level. I cringe internally when I hear a slow dance start playing. Not only do I have to dance with him, now I have to dance really close to him. I place my hands on his shoulders and he places his on my waist. My heart reacts oddly to his touch, confusing me. Why is it suddenly so hard to breathe? To distract myself from my body's odd behaviour, I start speaking at random about the beauty of the room, mentioning after the short silence that follows that he should be saying something about its size or the number of couples dancing, to which he replies, "Sure, and then I can tell you what else you would most like to hear." I smile and say that that reply was fine. We continue to dance in silence for some time until at last he asks me if I had come to the ball alone or not. I tell him that I am with Jane and Charlotte, to which he grows silent and, after a pause says, "I hope you and your sister do well in the coming months." To this I tilt my head, not really knowing what he means. The dance soon ends and, excusing myself, I leave him. My eyes search around me for some sign, any sign of Jane.
Faintly hearing my name being called, I turn and see Charlotte weaving her way through the small crowd towards me. I wait patiently for her. She seems slightly out of breath and her cheeks are flushed, yet creases mar her brow and a look of concern etches her features. The contradiction sends warning bells blaring in my head.
"Charlotte, what is it? What happened?" I ask as she reaches me. My fears of Jane were getting the better of me and I'm unfortunately proved right.
"Liz… I'm so sorry. I just heard that Bingley hasn't even come to the dance tonight. He left the city this afternoon, and I saw Jane holding a letter earlier and I haven't seen her since… I don't know what to make of it." She looks desperately at me, probably hoping that I have an answer to give her. This information shocks me, yet it's nothing compared to the feeling I next feel when I realize what Darcy had meant by those words, seeming so harmless when they were first spoken; "I hope you and your sister do well in the coming months." Did he have anything to do with this? Closing my eyes, I could feel a pain in my chest. If he's done anything to hurt Jane…
I abruptly turn and push my way through the crowd, not caring that the people I push complain and yell after me. I make my way towards a door nearby and, opening it, let myself into an empty library. Closing the door behind me, I turn around and see a letter lying on the floor. My shoes make hurried clicks on the floor as I rush to retrieve it and read it quickly:
Jane
My brother will no longer be living in your silly little town. He doesn't want you anymore. In fact, he never wanted you. Now be a dear and never try to contact him ever again. Fritz has already told my brother of your conniving trickery and lies regarding your feelings towards him.
Yours truly,
Caroline Bingley.
Fury boils my blood and rage sears through me as I stare at the paper that has fresh tear stains smudging the ink. I re-read the letter, one specific line coming to my attention; Fritz has already told my brother of your conniving trickery and lies regarding your feelings towards him. Indignation wells up inside me and from far off, I hear the door opening. Turning, I see Fritz walk in, closing the door behind him. My immediate reaction is to slap him, but I refrain, keeping my temper in check. Before I can say anything, and before I can properly check my emotions, he steps forward, an earnest look on his face. He then goes on to tell me that despite my being from a less wealthy background, among other unfortunate circumstances, that he loves me and wants to be with me. I can barely take any of it in at first. When he finishes I take a moment and, taking a shallow breath, answer in a clear and cold voice.
"I appreciate your honesty, but I'm not interested." A silence follows my words and he takes a step back, his face showing signs of shock. He soon controls himself however and I hear my coldness mimicked back to me.
"Did you even think about what I said before rejecting me?"
"Of course not; you've just finished telling me that you like me but that you're fighting against your judgment! If I'm so unlike the girl you want to marry then go love someone else! Also, what makes you think that I want to go out with the guy who told an unjust and cruel lie about my own sister to the one she loves?"
Here he pauses, but when he next speaks does not deny my accusation.
"I looked at your sister whenever she was with Charles and I never saw anything even close to affection for him coming from her. I could see very clearly that he liked her much more than she liked him. I'm sorry, but I did it for his own good."
"'His own good'?" I echoed, nearly shouting, my breathing labored, "You've probably crushed my sister's hopes and dreams with what you did! I can't imagine someone being so stupid as to not even ask her how she felt before trying to separate them! How evil are you?!" It takes everything in me to keep from crying. There is a long silence as he digests my words. After some time he nods.
"I see… so that's how you see me. If that's it, then now's the last time that you'll be forced to hear of my feelings. Goodbye, Liz." He then leaves the room; the door's closing thump creating finality. But his leaving has the opposite effect on me than I thought it would. I suddenly feel more alone than I have ever been before; he has left behind him a deep void that I have no idea how to fill. I think over his words and realize with dismay that maybe I was the one at fault here. I accused him of having misjudged someone by not asking, when I myself had not even bothered to know Fritz's point of view before attacking his actions. After all, he'd been worried about his friend. Quickly following the realization of my hypocrisy, a deep sense of shame cloaks my heart, forcing me to my knees. I hold my face in my hands, barely holding back tears of regret. How can I ever face him again?
