Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
Chapter One
''... and slightly damaged. Mentally, Physically, and emotionally...''
" Do you think she'll ever recover?''
" Not likely...''
When she heard physically damaged, that's when she knew that she wasn't hearing things. Physically damaged. Haven't heard that one in awhile. It's always been mentally. Mentally unstable... mentally incompetent...
It was driving her insane.
But, in a way, she liked the isolation she recieved from the doctors and nurses and even her own visitors. It gave her time to think about whether or not she just end her life right here, right now. Maybe use the straps on her hospital gown to tie a noose or better yet, just die right now in this cold, windowless, dark room.
No one would miss a crazy girl. Compared to her, Annie Cresta was perfectly sane. She... she was a Mad Hatter. She blacked out, never slept, and worst of all, couldn't remember who she was or what was going on.
My name is... My name is...My name is...\
It was an endless mantra that repeated itself in her non-comprehending mind. It gave her wave after wave of headaches. It was worse than any pain she could imagine.
But worst of all were the visitors. her '' friends'' they would call themselves. She didn't know who they were but yet, they continued to call her some ridiculous name she could never remember. But she remembered their faces. A dark haired boy with grey eyes like her and full lips. A small pretty girl with blonde hair always in two fine pigtails. A tall, bony looking woman that looked like an older more beaten down version of the blonde girl. And most hauntingly, a tall handsome boy with blonde hair and tan skin and sea green eyes that always seemed to shine. She felt as if she knew him the most. Maybe it was his alluring voice and the small hint of a smile that showed up when he told a joke.
She couldn't place her finger on it.
And then one day, while she was staring blankly up at the ceilling, that small blonde girl came in, the beaten down lady behind her. She was wearing a nursing outfit that looked too big for her.
Katniss just laid there, staring at the sky.
The little girl coughed. " Hi, Katniss.''
Katniss...That was the name her visitors would always call her. It floated around in her head. So familiar...
" So, I... Uh... brought you a present.'' The little blonde girl walked swiftly up to Katniss's bedsid, a tiny parcel clutched in her small hands. She carefully unwrapped the emerald green wrapping paper and took out a golden pin. A bird.
It was shiny and probably the most beutiful thing she had ever seen in the world. The bird seemed to be flying, soaring off into distant lands. Katniss gazed at it and gently took it in her cold hands. The little girl smiled and firmly placed it into her icy fingertips.
'' You can have it. It's yours,'' she whispered.
A feeling, something nice and warm spread through Katniss. Happiness. That feeling was happiness.
She wanted to thank this little girl. But she didn't know if she could speak. The blonde child gave Katniss a small peck on the forehead. " My name is Primrose, by the way. Primrose Everdeen.''
She had a beautiful voice.
She stayed there for a few minutes, watching Katniss pin the small bird on her hospital gown, then nodded curtly and left with her mother. Leaving Katniss alone.
Again
" ...Patient number 118...''
" Name?''
" Katniss Narcissa Everdeen..''
" Reason for admission?''
" Suffering from severe depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and second degree burns...''
'' Chance of recovery from PTD and Depression?''
" Zero percent...''
They were saying she was damged beyond repair. A chemical change. A corpse. And they were probably right.
At least she knew her own name.
My name is Katniss Narcissa Everdeen. I am damaged beyond repair. I have PTD and severe depression along with second degree burns...
The doctors couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't attempted suicide. Some anticipated it. But that was because they didn't know about the bird.
That small, golden trinket she had pinned perfectly just below her collar. It added a little flicker of light to the room. she spent hours running her hands ove it and slowly, it helped her recover a bit of her sanity. It kept her grounded and let her know that she had something to live for. That bird.
It told her something. It told her she had to fight. Always. And she felt as if it was reminding her of something. She couldn't place her finger on it.
Gradually, she started getting better. With that bird right by her side, she felt herself start to heal and she forced herself to pick up the pieces and fragments that created her. When nurses brought in food, she made sure to finish her meals. When the doctors came, she made sure to follow their directions. She was getting better.
She talked more. Her visitors would ask her questions and she would try to answer as best as she could.
That dark haired boy- Gale, she learned was his name- came to talk to her last night. He had sat there, sitting comfortably in his chair. They didn't talk much, but occasionally, he would tell a funny joke and she would let out a genuine laugh and smile.
And then there was that blonde boy with the sea green eyes came to visit. She liked him. Maybe it was his positive attitude. Or the way the right side of his mouth would curl up when she smiled. Or was it his voice that was smooth and seemed to draw her in more and more.
He talked perfectly. His chiseled jaw would move with his mouth and he always animated his face in the funniest of ways.
" ... And then, I speared the shark. Thing didn't stand a chance against Finnick The Great...''
Katniss loved his stories. She loved Finnick's stories more than anything else.
" Where are you from, Finnick,'' she asked quietly as she played with her pin. He grinned and plopped down next to her on her hospital bed.
He looked up at the ceilling and she followed his gaze. He took her index finger and made invisible swirls in the air. " A place where there is water as far as you can see...''
she couldn't imagine anywhere better...
On her third day of recovery, she counted the names she knew of all her visitors.
First, there was Primrose Everdeen, the girl with the same last name as her and the beautiful voice. Katniss liked her. She was the one that gave her the pin with the bird on it.
Then, there was Gale, the dark haired boy the had the full lips and her same grey eyes. He was a joker and he always seemed to find a way to make her laugh. He was also one of the best looking boys she had ever seen.
Finally, there was Finnick. Finnick O'dair. She liked him the most. He told stories that made Katniss think the world was perfect. She always perked up at a chance to see him. He made her feel something. Even if it was barely noticeable.
She started to learn more about herslef. The doctors would come in and run test pn her. She sneaked glances at her file and recorded the words in her healing mind.
My name is Katniss Narcissa Everdeen. I am seventeen and a half years old. I weigh one-hundred and twelve pounds. I am in a hospital. I am slowly healing...
She likes her name. Katniss Narcissa Everdeen. She like the way the syllables float of her tongue and the unique-ness of it. She'll have to thank whoever named her that.
Primrose comes o visit her one day, and Katniss wonders if she has more gifts to give. Primrose only has air clutched in her small hands.
" Why did you give me the pin,'' Katniss asked. She was always curious as to why, this small girl gave her something that could've have kept herself in bread for weeks.
Prim tugs on the ends of her pigtails and smiles a little. " It's a Mockingjay. I was hoping it would give you something to smile about.'' She hastily adds on,'' Because you've been here so long.''
For the first time during her stay, Katniss says thank you.
Finnick comes by. Katniss and him laugh alot, telling stories, talking, singing horribly. She can't help but notice the way he smiles around her more nowadays. The way he holds her hand more and listens to her speak more.
She's confused.
Gale is her last visitor for the week. He tells alot of jokes, too. But he also acts like Finnick. Holding her hand, trying to get her to talk more. She feels as if she knows why he is doing it. Confused about Finnick, but sure about Gale. But she just can't name why he is doing it.
She's even more confused.
They let her leave on the fourth day of her recovery.
People surround and hug and kiss her. They pat her on the bag and hooray when they see her smile. She doesn't know half of them, but feels good having fresh faces cloud her sight. She can see Prim and Gale and Finnick in the background, smiling.
Everything is fine until a boy with shaggy blonde hair and blue eyes stalks up to her. She bravely walks towards him and tilts her head sideways with a smile on her face. She reaches out a hand. " Hi, I'm katniss.''
He reaches for her hand and for a moment, it seems as if he is going to shake her hand. But then, his long fingers reach up to her hospital gowns collar...
And closes them around her throat.
...
Peeta, that's his name. In the split second that he attempts to choke her, she remembers everything. Her thoughts come crashing back to her in a painful blast.
My name is Katniss Narcissa Everdeen. Peeta, my '' boyfriend '' tried to choke me. I am in District 13. Gale Hawthorne is my best friend. he is in love with me. Primrose Everdeen is my sister. I hit my head in District 8 and got amnesia...
She remembered everything.
People pry Peeta off of her and she can hear people yelling, '' Get her out of here! Get her out!''
She's momentarily stunned at her '' boyfriend's '' attempt to choke her. Peeta loved her for real, right. She wasn't sure about returning his feelings, but he loved her. But why, then, did he try to kill her.
Stunned turns to shocked then just downright hurt. She had been recovering. She only had one more piece to go. She could have been fixed. But then Peeta had to strangle her and now she's broken again. Probably forever.
She refuses medical treatment, even if her throat is hurting like hell. They try to force her on the stretcher and she kciks and screams like mad. She won't go back into another hospital as long as she lives. They finally give up and throw her a bottle of pain killers, hoping she'll just overdose and they won't have to deal with her anymore.
They knock Peeta out with some crazy drug and haul him off on a stretcher. She watches as he twitches uncontrollably screaming foul things like " She is a mutt!'' and " She needs to die.'' then finally goes still.
Maybe he's dead
She knows she wants to be.
Gale comes over and gently takes her hand in his warm ones. He twirls a lock of her dark hair.
" He wants me dead,'' she muttered to herself. " He called me a mutt...''
'' Shh... It's okay...'' Gale attmpts to comfort her but she shrugs him off.
" Just leave,'' she said miserably. " I need to be by myself...''
Gale tries to grab her hand again but she snatches it away and looks down, frowning.'' I said go...''
And he reluctantly leaves her there to wallow in self pity.
Author's Note: Well, there you are! Chapter One. I really hope ou guys liked it. By the way, I know half of you are expecting Finnick and Katniss to fall in love instantly, but Katniss is an emotinal wreck right now and since Peeta just tried to murder her the last thing on her mind is love. And also, she's now very depressed again and just started getting her memory back so she's very frustrated. Well, until next time, goodbye!