Stolen Hearts

Chapter 1

Final Goodbye

Anastasia Shepard collapsed to her hands and knees before the decision that she had chosen. Her long sweat and blood covered red hair stuck to her face as she grunted in pain at the landing. This shouldn't be my choice, Anastasia thought. She looked up to the red tube directly in front of her. By choosing this I'm destroying all synthetic life. The red-haired commander's heart sank into depths that stretched far beyond the Leviathans lair. EDI, the Geth, Kasumi's graybox of Keiji's memories…all are going to be gone. She felt tears in her eyes at the thought of all the deaths it would cause her friends and a whole race…but it would bring peace by killing the Reapers as well.

Was that price worth it in the end?

Would the other choices be any better?

Anastasia looked to her left and saw the green center. If I chose Synthesis, there will be peace…but this A.I. said it wouldn't have worked before because it isn't something that can be forced…wouldn't I be forcing it on them now? Are we truly ready for such a merging? The first human Spectre shook her head to herself, feeling the tears streaming down her face. I can't force everyone into something like that. There was more than a fair share of people who would object to such a merging so in a sense she would be forcing it on them.

If it would fail or cause some type abomination somewhere down the line she couldn't risk it. The Crucible was a one shot weapon that would shape the lives of the entire galaxy, and each firing mechanism had their own double edged sword to them. She looked further to the left to the blue choice, could it solve the conflict? It said I could control the Reapers…but could I truly do it? What stops me from becoming this damn A.I. and using the Reapers as a tool in a manner I did not intend?

Anastasia shook her head once again. If she held doubt in her own will then she couldn't risk her will one day becoming the very thing she fought against. All the sacrifices her friends had made, all the deaths of the innocent families would all be wasted because of her. I have fought to stop the Reapers, not turn them into a tool at my disposal. The commander spat blood onto the ground. I would be spitting in the faces of all my friends I have lost to this damned war! And what if this damn thing is just trying to make sure it survives? Self-preservation isn't just an organic trait. She shook her head once more. No. I have to destroy them once and for all.

The decision was made but the red-haired commander could barely bring herself to go through with it.

To do what needed to be done.

Her own survival didn't matter to her and she doubted she would live much longer anyways. Each inhale of air brought in the smell of charred flesh and blood mixed together like some sort of deranged cocktail made by the devil himself. Anastasia's armor was wrecked, if you could even call the remaining pieces that hadn't shattered off armor. Her gut was draining out her blood slowly and methodically like someone had turned a faucet on with the least amount of pressure possible. The redhead's eyes felt swollen and burnt around the edges while her left cheek had a fine cut diagonally down it, leaving from her cheek to the bottom of her neck coated in blood.

No, she was not going to make it back, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she was going to have to commit genocide to kill the Reapers. The first human Spectre was going to have to kill the Geth, the very race her friend Legion had sacrificed himself for to allow true intelligence to be finally achieved. That wasn't the full extent either. EDI, who had just become more than Anastasia had ever dreamed of, would be another casualty of this choice.

Tears were flowing down her cheeks as she punched the ground in frustration at such a price to pay for peace. Each choice came down to sacrifice and each sacrifice led to some sort of double edged sword with a morally heavy cost. This red tube, though, wouldn't just wipe out the Geth and EDI; it was frying all tech apparently. That meant the Relays, omni-tools, V.I.s, space craft. The list of what this would destroy had such a high tally. It would also cost Kasumi her only link to the memories of Keiji. The memories that had been sustaining her best friend since parting from the Normandy were going to be destroyed.

I'm so sorry, Anastasia cried internally while tears ran down her face, I'm so fucking sorry.

It took a moment to force herself back to her feet with the A.I. just quietly watching her. Anastasia wished she could just shoot it, but she wouldn't risk losing her only chance at saving all she could. The ruthless calculus of war, ten billion die over here so twenty billion can live over there…I wasn't ready for it Garrus, but I won't let you all down. I'll end this war once and for all.

The redhead wiped her eyes, which led to her smearing more blood onto her face, before she took a sturdy step forward. She held no regrets in life other than the burden this choice would give her for the next few seconds before her inevitable death.

The commander stopped herself from continuing forward. No, saying she held no regrets was a false sentiment. Anastasia held one and one alone, and that was not telling Kasumi the truth when they spoke last.

"Drinks will be on me after this is over Shep," Kasumi said.

Shepard smiled slightly, but as the thief's hand reached for her console, she forced her voice to come forth to speak the words she had kept locked away.

If this was the end she had to tell her.

"Kasumi, before you go…I wanted to thank you," Shepard spoke steadily despite her heart beginning to pump faster. This final goodbye would prove to be the hardest yet. She held so many feelings for the hooded woman in front of her and they were nearly bursting at the seams.

Kasumi tilted her head in question. "Thank me? For what?" she asked.

The commander felt her breath hitch momentarily. For stealing my heart.

No she couldn't say that now…no matter how much she wished to.

"For everything…you've been a great friend. Although I missed not having you on the Normandy during this war, I was…" Thrilled, ecstatic. "Happy to see you at the party and during shore leave. If this goes south for me and I don't make it out, I want you to know…" I love you. "It's been an honor knowing you."

Shepard had grown very fond of the thief during her time on the Normandy when they fought the Collectors. They had spent so much time together just talking or sharing a drink at her lounge. The redhead wasn't sure if it was true or not, but she believed that the time the two had spent together helped Kasumi not become completely plugged into the graybox.

Obviously that didn't matter much anymore since they were apart for so long that she fell into its grasps. Shepard hadn't realized how much her feelings had grown from being fond to loving her until she saw her once again after the whole clone business. Somewhere deep down, hidden within the shadows of her heart under lock and key, the commander had always yearned to be closer to the thief.

The feelings had been kept caged away even from the redhead herself, but seeing her again, fighting side by side with the thief in the combat arena…finding her looking through her underwear. Everything made its way together, finishing the puzzle and unlocking the cage to allow those feelings loose for the N7 to understand. She had mentally kicked herself in the ass many times since her last meeting with Kasumi for not speaking her mind regardless of how the lithe thief felt.

It wasn't that the commander didn't care if Kasumi held the same feelings. It was quite the contrary with Shepard hoping that she did. The reason she wished to have spoken her mind was that now that the feelings had been released, now that she understood what they were and who she truly loved, the first human Spectre was scared. The redhead was too frightened to say anything to the woman in front of her via hologram, the woman she had begun to cherish seeing in the lounge or out on the battlefield fighting beside her making quips regardless if the situation was FUBAR or not.

Even if Kasumi didn't hold the same feelings, at least she would have gotten it out of the way and things would have gotten back to normal. Shepard could handle being told no, she was grown woman after all and knew when to fold and back away. If that had been the case, the feelings would have once again been put under lock and key back into the hidden recesses of her heart and soul where it would no longer cause her pain.

And boy did it hurt just having the feeling.

Maybe that's when you knew love was real, when it hurt so bad to love them because you knew deep down that you wouldn't be there for them…No matter how much I wish I could be. This was likely a one way trip for the N7 Spectre and without a return ticket there was no point saying how she felt now. Anastasia didn't want Kasumi to bear the burden of wondering about what could have been different if she had only made it alive or would have told her feelings sooner.

The look Kasumi gave her could have cut a Reaper in half as her tone grew stern and to the point. "Don't say that." Shepard was nearly taken aback by the sternness coming from the fun loving thief. "You are going to make it out of there after you're done kicking the Reapers to hell. This is not the last time I see you or you me."

The redhead forced a laugh that didn't come out humorous. "Heh, I wish I shared your optimism on my own survival." In truth she felt something ominous about this whole mission, but that could have just been jitters with what was at stake. Their very future was on the line in this last attempt to defeat the Reapers. If this failed, they would all be wiped out regardless of origin. Humans, Turians, Krogans, Quarians, every race would be extinguished.

"Just remember who you're fighting beside and who you fight for and you'll make it out alive Shep. We will see this through," Kasumi assured confidently. It took a moment, but Shepard nodded in response. "And if you could do me a personal favor that would be nice."

Shepard smiled as she crossed her arms over her chest casually. "Is this another undercover operation? Because if it is I'm going to start thinking you just want to see me in a dress and heels. If that's the case then you could just ask me to dinner Kasumi." She was mostly making a joke, but if the master thief really wanted her to dress up again, it was really going to have to be dinner. She hated getting dressed up, but she would have made an exception for a chance to go on a date with her favorite thief.

Kasumi gave a nervous laugh as she shook her head and rubbed her arm. "Congratulations Shep, you made me blush. I hope you're happy." Shepard wasn't sure if she should have caught any hints there, but she let all those thoughts go. It was probably just her imagination anyways.

"I think I could die happily now knowing that I finally managed to make you blush," the redhead said with a smile. Knowing she had been able to finally make the lithe thief blush was an accomplishment worth noting for Shepard. Out of all the jokes she had made, whether they were flirty jokes from before she realized she wished she hadn't been joking or just attempts to make Kasumi without a witty quip, she had never been able to make her blush.

That changed now, but sometimes things were too little too late.

"Yeah well you better not die," Kasumi responded. Her tone was serious once again, an order perhaps instead of a favor. Shepard smirked inwardly, Kasumi ordering her around? It was a ridiculous notion, but one she'd entertain mentally for fun.

"Is that the favor?" she asked in return. She doubted it since it sounded more like something that just came to mind at that moment, but she needed to know if it was. She couldn't make a promise she wasn't sure was possible to keep.

The thief shook her head. "No, but you can consider it added on to the favor...just keep your head down, okay? And get out alive…please." It sounded as if she was almost begging her to return. In all their time together, she had never seen Kasumi so…desperate for her answer to be what she wanted.

Shepard nodded in response. She couldn't promise that she would make it out alive, but she could do the next best thing. "I promise I will do my best just because you asked so nicely," she promised. She felt her time running out with her best friend and secret crush. She needed to close this before her emotions got the better of her. "And Kasumi… If I don't make it through this…I want you to know that I will be watching." Shepard felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. "You'll never be alone," the commander said as the emotion she was feeling seeped out into the words.

"Shep-"

"Lola we gotta go," Vega called from behind herm cutting off whatever the thief was going to say.

It was time.

Despite the interruption leaving Shepard wondering what Kasumi was going to say, Vega was a good man and a better friend than he gave himself credit for. She was going to be sad when he left her squad for N7 School…If it was still standing and if they won this war.

The redhead let out a sad sigh as she looked to Kasumi one last time who clearly didn't want to say goodbye just yet. Shepard really wished she would have been able to see her smile one last time, but she brought her hand to the console. "Goodbye Kasumi."

Hot tears burned down Anastasia's cheeks as the memory of the saddened thief's face played through her mind. She still wished she could have seen that spectacular smile one last time with those bright eyes behind her hood making the smile even more intoxicating. She wished to have been able to caress her face as a lover would and push the hood back to stop it from obstructing the beauty under it.

She wished to have lived the thousand dreams she had dreamt for them.

I should have told her I loved her…Just a dream now, Anastasia thought. She wouldn't want me to be crying my eyes out now though. Knowing Kasumi she'd make a quip about something to help me push forward. She stared at the tube again. Well at least my death will end this war and be explosively spectacular. Take your good with the bad I guess.

With a heavy sigh, the commitment to her decision was made. Maybe they'll be able to reactivate EDI and the Geth, maybe the A.I. is wrong. It can't know for sure. It didn't know I'd make it this far so how would it know that this will really destroy everything. The optimism was painfully sedating as Anastasia forced herself forward again.

This decision shouldn't have been hers, but it was her duty to choose one and end this madness before the Reapers were able to kill any more of the soldiers and friends she had out there. The N7 brought her pistol up despite the amount of pain in her muscles it caused and took aim at the tube to fulfill her final choice and duty.

She fired her first round, sealing her fate and the fate of the galaxy. Her first thought was of Anderson. He had fought for her so many times throughout the years and now because of the Illusive Man he was gut shotted and would likely bleed out before the medics arrived, if he wasn't dead already. The Admiral had fallen unconscious before Hackett had contacted them, but Shepard was unsure of how much time had passed since then.

Anderson had been a great father figure and mentor…he always had her back and never once doubted her. A great man. If it wasn't for meeting him after Mindoir, she probably wouldn't have joined the Alliance. Meeting the former Captain and Councilor had changed her, invigorated her to do better for those she lost, even though she was only a teenager at the time.

Shepard fired another round as she thought of Joker. The Normandy's pilot, her pilot…her friend. He had been one of her greatest friends and like Anderson he had been at her side since their original days on the first Normandy. The redhead hated to have to break her promise to him regarding her return back to the ship, but he would understand eventually that she had to do this, that she had to stop the Reapers even if it meant her own death.

She thought of EDI as well during this and felt a lump in her throat and heart. Her decision was not only costing EDI her life that she had just gotten so accustomed to, it was also costing Joker the person he cared about more than his own brittle life.

There was no backing out now, no matter how much it shattered her heart thinking about it. Shepard fired two more rounds as she gripped the pistol with both hands and stepped closer to the tube. Glass began flying at her face, grazing her skin and drawing more blood as she thought of Tali and Garrus.

They were two of her greatest friends and companions. The redhead wished them eternal happiness and hoped they would one day not feel the pain of her loss as bad as it would be initially. She hoped they would find some type of bliss in a Galaxy that would need to be repaired. I'll always have your backs no matter what the Galaxy throws at you two.

The faces of Ashley, Mordin, Thane and Legion passed through her thoughts as she fired more rounds into the tube causing it to start to explode. Each had made the sacrifice to save as many as they could at the loss of their own lives and Shepard could only hope they would be waiting for her at the gates of whatever spiritual realm they all reached. As their faces faded, the remaining faces of all her friends from the original Normandy to now came into her mind as she inched ever closer to her fate.

Each face she saw smiled to her and gave her a small nod, bringing forth the memories of all the great times she shared with each of them. The memories ranged from Grunt shouting random things when he was drunk in her shower to Jack giving her the small Omega tattoo on her waist above her left leg hours before the party as a show of friendship.

As the explosions became more powerful, they reached out to her like the arms of death trying to grab her to finally take her once and for all. Her final thought was of the thief that had stolen her heart whether she knew it or not. She was smiling her beautiful smile and her eyes gleamed with the life and dreams that Shepard had wished to have lived. I'll be watching, Shepard thought. She fired her final round and the explosion consumed her. You'll never be alone…my love.

Everything went black.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mass Effect series or any of its characters nor do I make any profit from the writing of this fanfiction, outside of personal enjoyment. The copyrights, series and everything Mass Effect belong to Bioware and EA. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.