Warnings: Not only that this contains slash, but also spoilers of OoTP.
Disclaimer: I don't own this…
Lyrics: Immortality by Celine Dion.
~*~
All this pain and despair was killing Remus Lupin the more the minutes passed and he had fallen, he had been broken like a china porcelain doll. Why couldn't he get over the fact that his mate was dead, killed, fallen through the veil with such a shocked expression? But he still had looked beautiful in his eyes, such a grace Sirius still held, even back then as he had fallen through that damned veil.
iSo
this is who I am,
And this is all I know,
And I must choose to live,
For all that I can give,/i
Why did it still feel so bad? Why did his heart still long so hard for his mate when he had already fallen away since such a long time? Why was Moony, no matter how much he took the wolfsbane, trying to find his mate so desperately, that it was difficult to gain control over the mourning wolf? Remus just didn't understand and also didn't really want to.
Two years it had been now, two years that had only done badly to Remus. His was thinner then ever before, his skin was white, his eyes sunken and he had long lost the feeling, the significant of life. He had long stopped talking to anybody, except for Harry to whom he had grown quite close since Sirius had left them.
iThe spark
that makes the power grow
And I will stand for my dream if I can,
Symbol of my faith in who I am,
But you are my only, /i
Harry had grown like a son for Remus, substituting something Remus would have otherwise never had. So it had been that after Harry's sixth year, the boy had moved in with the werewolf in a small cottage somewhere in the countryside near Cornwall.
So now that Harry had finished his education at Hogwarts, defeated Voldemort for the second time, he was once more seeking the closeness and the solitude at Remus's home which Remus himself of course appreciated, he hated being alone even if he denied any contact to anybody else these days.
iAnd I
must follow on the road that lies ahead,
And I won't let my heart control my head,
But you are my only
And we don't say goodbye, /i
It had been starting to be a splendid day that Saturday afternoon, one week in Harry's stay. Harry had told him everything of what was happening around, since Dumbledore somehow refrained from contacting the werewolf anymore, why Remus until now never knew the reason for, but he didn't mind, even if it made him feel even more lonelier then he already was.
iAnd I know
what I've got to be
Immortality/i
Only that night, as Remus and Harry called it a night and turned to bed. Remus couldn't find any rest. Lying on his bed, his face burrowed in the cushion under him, his hands holding on to it and his body shaking, he was crying once more.
iI make my
journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me inside
Fulfill your destiny,
Is there within the child, /i
Nothing made any sense for him anymore. He wondered why he was still here, why he hadn't ended his life and joined his place next Sirius beyond the veil, so that he wouldn't be alone anymore, but back together with his mate. Still he knew why, he knew the answer only to well. He was here because of Harry, because Harry needed him and because he didn't want to cause the boy, now young man, any more pain.
He didn't hear the quiet and soft footsteps falling through the house, he didn't hear the cursing and neither did he hear the door to his room open quietly nor the person stepping in to his room. He only felt that somebody was sitting down on the double bed next to him and that Moony was jumping in joy inside of him.
iMy storm
will never end,
My fate is on the wind,
The king of hearts, the joker's wild,
But we don't say goodbye, /i
'But no that couldn't be Sirius' Remus thought to himself shaking his head frantically urging Moony to calm down again, while his sobs only grew bigger. But as those strong arms enveloped him, comforting and calming him he knew that he wasn't hallucinating but that this was real.
He turned around in the comforting embrace only to be to look in those loving brown eyes he had fallen in love with in his school days. A trembling finger touched the other face, not really believing of what was happening. The brown-eyed man just looked at him smiling softly, his skin tanned and his figure looking much better then it had two years ago. He wasn't that thin anymore and the sparkle had returned into those loving eyes, something Remus had missed even after his mate had escaped from Azkaban.
iI'll make
them all remember me
Cos I have found a dream that must come true,
Every ounce of me must see it though,
But you are my only /i
"How…?" was the only word Remus could say at the moment, as the rest didn't seem to make any sense in his muddle brain and confused state. While Moony was for once calm inside him somehow telling him that the werewolf knew it all long that Sirius wasn't dead, but very much alive.
Nevertheless Sirius's expression darkened and his grip tightened on Remus, and before his answered he pressed his lips gently against Remus's, and kissed him softly for several minutes until they were both out of breath.
iI'm sorry
I don't have a role for love to play,
Hand over my heart I'll find my way,
I will make them give to me
Immortality /i
Sirius expression had softened again and he pulled Remus closer to him, wanting to make sure that Remus was going nowhere this moment and wanting to show his mate that this was really real and not an imagination, of his probably broken soul, which he was planning to heal the best he could.
"You remember the last meeting? Where I stayed behind to talk with Dumbledore?" Sirius asked, his voice gentle as always. Remus nodded and somehow where this was leading but didn't have a very good feeling about what his lover was going to tell him.
iThere is
a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me, inside /i
"He had explained to me that it wasn't safe enough for me anymore here in Great Britain, so under his orders I wasn't allowed to tell anybody about this and I could only return when he thought it for safe. So that is what happened, they disguised somebody else as me with a permanent Polyjuice potion… I am sorry Remy I never wanted this to happen… I never wanted to hurt you that much like I did…" Sirius voice had been firm at first, but he was crying at the end, his voice turning in a quiet and hoarse whisper, and Remus just pulled him into his arms comforting him as best as he could.
"You have nothing to be sorry for… this is none of your fault… the main thing is that you're here with me now and that you're never leaving again." Remus said sincerely pushing Sirius on his back kissing him passionately.
iAnd we don't say goodbye /iEmotions were both playing wild in each other's bodies and tears were shed in plain happiness, and as they looked in each other's eyes love was flying through the air. (A/N: You can guess what happened in the rest of the night).
iWe don't say goodbye /iAs the next morning Harry awoke and as he found the copy of the Daily Prophet he couldn't believe his eyes. As there was a picture of Sirius on the front page with the title, "Trial of the Century – Sirius Black innocent." He found himself running up to Remus's room halting in his steps at the open door.
iWith all my love for you /iHe found Remus and Sirius lying in bed, they limps tangled and on each face a contented smile. Harry leaned against the doorframe and thought, a small grin appearing on his face and a small tear going down his cheek.
iAnd what
else we may do
We don't say, goodbye/i
