Alright, I kind of fiddled with some things here just so you know but I will try to keep this as canon as possibly possible. So I hope you enjoy this, and I promise there will be some major action later on. This is Harry Potter with the Bad Boys movie style so this should be real fun. Enjoy and Review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Bad Boys
"Harry! Draco's here!" Harry groaned at the mention of his Auror partner. The blond was almost always at the house but the two 'friends' were always in some sort of fight. Old habits die hard and all that shit.
"Thanks Gin!" he shouted back getting up off the floor and putting his newborn son back in the crib. The little baby let out a happy gurgle as he lightly tickled the bottom of his foot. Most of the family was over for dinner that night and while Draco's random and unannounced visits were hardly unusual they sure were loud.
After turning spy for reasons still unknown, Draco had gone through a profound change. When he'd been caught he and the Golden Trio had ended up living as Muggles for a good year and the world had rubbed off on his friend. When Hermione became the Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts, Ron had followed as the now permanent Defense teacher. The curse seemed to be broken.
Harry had completed his dream of becoming an Auror along with Draco. The two were assigned to be partners in a Magical Smuggling Unit. MSU did a lot of work in the Muggle world as it was easier to smuggle magical contraband using Muggles and Muggle means so as to trip any magical sensors. It required them to wear Muggle clothes and use Muggle weapons, something Draco liked to complain about but didn't seem to want to give up.
He bounded down the stairs and outside to see the blond in his fancy car waiting for him. He stuck his head out the window to shout at him.
"Get in the car!" he shouted across the driveway. "We got a major tip and Captain Howard wants us to take it." Harry nodded and held up a finger for Draco to give him a minute. He went back inside to find Ginny in the kitchen.
"I gotta go," he told her giving her a quick kiss. "Tell everyone I'll see them later."
"Be careful, Harry," she said. It was their normal routine. She rarely complained about his leaving but always complained about the injuries.
"You know me, babe, I like the quiet life," he joked and avoided her swat at his head. He grabbed an apple and went back to the driveway, getting in the passenger seat. "What's going on?" he asked. Draco backed out and hit the gas to gain some speed down the country road leading away from the house. The car had many magical functions and protections to get all over the country in the blink of an eye. Its transporting system was very similar to that of the Knight Bus and needed a good deal of speed to work, something Draco loved.
"Tip came in about someone taking a very volatile magical artifact from Northern Scotland to a private collector in France," the blond told him. "It's small and they're supposedly following Dumbledore's lead on this one."
"Dumbledore?" Harry asked confused as to what this could possibly have to do with his dead mentor.
"Hid it inside a Snitch," Draco told him with a smirk. "Tipster warned us not to touch it. The artifact gives off an energy that would be building up inside the Snitch and if we release it we might not like what happens."
"Is it Dark?" Harry asked.
"Dunno."
"What's the artifact?"
"Dunno."
"What does the energy do?"
"Dunno."
"You don't know shit," Harry said.
"Not really," Draco agreed. "It was an anonymous tip and we only got so much information, but it looks like a simple bust." Harry didn't answer, opting to bite into the apple and braced himself for his partner's spastic driving. Little did they know how drastically wrong this simple bust was gonna go.
Professor Slughorn was doing his normal patrol on the ground floor of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry near midnight when it happened. Security had been increased dramatically with all the attacks from Death Eaters and, every now and then, the Dark Lord himself at various locations. The Headmaster was worried that Hogwarts was on their 'To Attack" list. It was shaping up to be one of the worst wars the Wizarding world had ever seen and everyone was on edge and suspicious.
Slughorn was having his doubts about the Light winning against the seemingly all powerful snake man. Dumbledore was powerful, there was no doubt about it, but it was plainly obvious even to him that the man was no soldier. He could lead, he could manipulate but when it came to fighting in the field Dumbledore was too passive.
Slughorn had once heard someone say that the old man would over think things. So far this 'war' had consisted of raids and duels. Even the Death Eaters, while using Dark and nasty curses, didn't tend to fight too dirty. At the moment the two sides were more or less at a standstill and everything and everyone was waiting for something. Slughorn didn't know what, but it felt like it would be big.
He was passing a window near the locked front doors when he saw a strange light coming from the Forbidden Forest behind the Gamekeeper's cabin. It was a bright blue light that was punctured by the trees, casting long shadows across the front lawn.
He had never seen anything like it but the Potions Professor did know that it was within the wards of Hogwarts. With that thought came a small spike of panic before he shoved it down in favor for fishing through his robes for the communication device Dumbledore insisted they carry. He pressed a red button on the side and a magical pulse was sent to the boxes of the other teachers alerting them to the fact that there was a situation.
He kept an eye on the light, still pulsating through the trees with no sign of stopping, as he heard the sound of feet behind him. The Headmaster, McGonagall, and Flitwick were all hurrying towards him.
"What is it Horace?" Dumbledore asked, eyes no longer twinkling. The boxes were only supposed to be used in the event of an extreme emergency, like if the Dark Lord was marching down the front path. You know, that sort of thing.
"Look outside," he said standing aside so the older man could get to the window. "Do you see that light?"
"Do you know what it is?" Dumbledore asked.
"No," Horace replied. "I just saw it start and pressed the button. I didn't see what caused it."
"Minerva, Filius, stay here and guard the castle," Dumbledore ordered going into what Slughorn often thought of as General mode. "Horace, come with me." And suddenly the doors were opened and the two of them were going across the lawn towards the forest, wands drawn and ready to fight. As they closed in on the trees, the light disappeared. Horace glanced over at Albus, who kept his eyes ahead and his back tense.
They had barely walked three minutes when they hit the first clearing and a very strange sight. In the middle of the clearing was a very nice and expensive looking Muggle car. It was black with a thin dark green line running down the body. Albus had spent some time in the Muggle world and knew enough about the Muggle contraptions to know the more obvious facts.
White smoke was coming from where the hood was and they'd reached the clearing just in time to see the last of the blue light fade away into the body of the car. Suddenly the door on the driver's side flew open and a young man stepped out.
He looked a good deal like one of Albus's seventh year students with his platinum blond hair, grey eyes, and aristocratic features. Only he looked a few years older than Lucius Malfoy. However, the similarities stopped there. This man was wearing Muggle clothes. Dark jeans, a white t-shirt that had a silver and green vest over it, and white high top Nikes. He also had a holster with a Muggle weapon under his open vest.
Albus thought he would have to strain to hear what he was saying across the clearing but luckily the young man was yelling very angrily so it wasn't too difficult.
"For the love magic, I told you not to touch the mother fucking Snitch," he shouted as he went to the car's front hood and popped it open, allowing even more smoke to escape. "So what did you do?"
The other door of the car opened to the sound of, "I touched the Snitch."
"That's that bullshit I was talking about," the blond said. A second man came out of the car to stand beside the first.
Albus instantly thought of another student of his as well. This man looked like an older, but slightly different, James Potter. He was wearing baggy blue jeans, leather work boots, and a dark red sleeveless, zip up shirt, that also had a hood. His dark hair stuck up in every direction and even from a distance Albus could see his bright green eyes.
"What can I say?" the dark haired man asked. "I am a Seeker."
"No, you're an idiot," the blond replied. "I told you not to touch it. We had no idea what it would do." The black haired man looked around at the clearing.
"Well, if it makes you feel better we're in the clearing right by Hagrid's hut," he said. "I recognize it."
"How could you possibly recognize a clearing?" the blond asked sparing the other man an exasperated look. "It probably looks like every other clearing in any other fucking forest."
"This is where we ganked that nasty Death Eater that chased us all the way from the seventh floor," the man said to Albus Dumbledore's complete and utter confusion. "You remember that fight; we nearly set the forest on fire."
"Whatever," the blond said finally stepping away from his car. "Engine's fried. Let's get up to the castle, get some food. It's been a long fucking day." They turned and started walking towards where Albus and Horace were hidden in the shadows. Albus gave Horace a stiff nod and they moved a part a bit, preparing to confront the two strangers and keep them from entering even further into the grounds. Unfortunately, Horace stepped on a twig which snapped instantly under his large weight.
The two instantly froze and wands were drawn in seconds. The two teachers froze where they were and both discreetly cast Notice-Me-Not charms. It hadn't been necessary before.
"Who's there?" the blond shouted out.
"Step out of the shadows!" the other commanded. "We know you're there, those Notice-Me-Not charms aren't gonna work anymore!" Albus had a distinct feeling of unease, about these two. They certainly didn't look like Death Eater's but they did seem dangerous. Albus cancelled the charm, obviously useless against them now that they knew they were there, and stepped out of the shadows, Horace following his lead.
The two looked completely and utterly shocked as he stepped into the light of the full moon, his Potions professor following behind. The blond sent a quick glance at his friend whose grip had tightened so much on his wand that his knuckles were white.
The aged Headmaster could only think of one reason for that type of reaction to come about. He'd seen it many times on Death Eaters when they realized they'd be going to Azkaban in mere moments.
"Hello," Albus said, purposefully keeping his voice light. "May I ask what you're doing on my school's grounds?" The two didn't answer him but the blond did send another look to his shorter friend. "I'm afraid you are rather close to trespassing. Care to explain who you are?"
"Back at you, old man," the blond responded with a forced sneer. However, Albus could easily tell by his eyes that he was being thrown through a loop. That was rather odd. The dark haired man had clearly possessed knowledge of Hogwarts yet they hadn't expected to see him. Odd.
"I am Albus Dumbledore," he said and to his utter surprise the two young men didn't seem to believe him. He hadn't had that problem in a long time.
"Prove it," the dark haired man growled.
"And how do suggest we go about that?" Albus asked playing along for the moment.
"What's your ideal Christmas gift?" the dark haired man asked, eyes narrowing as if he didn't expect Albus to know the answer.
"I have always found myself in need for a good pair of socks," the old man replied and was surprised yet again to find the two lowering their wands.
"Aw, man," the blond said lowly. "At least now we know what the energy did."
"What the hell are you talking about?" the dark haired man asked, glaring at his friend.
"Tempus," the blond said and instantly the date and time appeared.
September 13, 1979
12:13:56 A.M.
"Fuck," the dark haired said. "That's really not good."
"No it's not," the blond snapped. "Man I told you not to touch it."
"How the hell am I supposed to confiscate the damn thing if I can't fucking touch it?" The two were now fully facing each other seemingly forgetting Albus and Horace.
"Ever hear of Magic, dumbass?" the blond threw back. "You're a fucking Wizard, act like it! Merlin, I can't believe you even survived this long!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" the other exclaimed.
"Like hell you don't know what that means!"
"No actually I don't, why don't you explain it a little better so my puny ass brain can comprehend?" the dark haired asked in sarcastic tone more biting than any Albus had heard in a long time. The blond didn't seem to have an answer for that and contended himself to simply glaring. The blond let out a frustrated sigh and swept his hand through his hair. His left hand to be precise, which let Albus see his left, bare forearm. Bare but not empty.
The Dark Mark. The dark haired man's eyes widened as he saw it as well. The blond brought his eyes to his arm, his eyes widening as well. It all happened in the space of a few seconds and in that time Albus had already fired off a curse. The dark haired man conjured up a shield in front of his friend and it rebounded into the woods.
Both turned and vaulted over the hood of the car to duck down behind it and use it as a shield to the curses now being flung towards them at great speed from both Albus and Horace.
The blond sent a beam of red light towards Albus who blocked it easily. Most of the curses that hit the car didn't leave any mark. The car must have some sort of magical protection on it. Nothing he couldn't work through. The fight had only just begun.
"Dammit!" Draco cursed as his car jerked a bit under the force of the dead-now-alive-because-they-were-in-the-past Headmaster's curse. This was a little much even for them.
During the war Draco had turned spy, much like his Godfather but for much more selfish reasons, using his Dark Mark and family history as an all access pass to pretty much anything and anywhere in Voldemort's temporary kingdom. The Light had been sent underground for two years until another year of all out war with battle after battle. When he had been outed, Draco had been forced to stay with the Golden Trio in the Muggle World, pure torture that, but in that time had discovered that he and Potter made a fairly good team.
They'd even managed to become less hostile towards each other, though they did still throw insults at each other at every moment of the day. It was just too much of a habit at this point. Harry was just an idiot.
And it was his idiocy that had them where they were now. He'd told the stupid Gryffindor not to mess with the Snitch. So what does he do? He messes with the Snitch! And the energy that had been stored inside and stashed in the Muggle world, illegally, sent them to the past. Shit!
"This is sick!" Harry shouted above the noise of the ground exploding from the blasting curse that had rebounded off the car's shields.
"We gotta end this before he hurts us!" Draco said back. "We'll need his help to get back!"
"How do you suggest we do that?" Harry replied. "He thinks we're Death Eaters!"
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed!" came the sarcastic reply. "I told you not to mess with it!"
"Would you let it go?!" Harry shouted exasperated.
"No, I'm not gonna let this go," Draco told him. "You sent us to the fucking past!"
The car gave another all mighty jerk and Draco felt himself get pushed along the ground. He glanced over at the idiot next to him and gave a nod. Harry returned it. Time to end this.
He wasn't sure why his Dark Mark was returning but the obvious possibility was the Dark Lord was still alive in this time. But Draco wasn't even alive yet, thus he should have no magical connection to the man through his Mark. Unfortunately, Dumbledore didn't know his position as a spy and that explained the curses being hurled at him.
The two cast Disillusionment Charms on themselves. He felt the peculiar sensation of a raw egg sliding down his body. Since the two wizards firing curses at them couldn't see them anyway they were banking on being able to sneak up on them. It was dark out, despite the full moon, and they were good at sneaking around. They each went around the car from different ends; he went towards Dumbledore and Harry towards Slughorn.
When Harry was within striking distance, at the side so he wouldn't get hit by the curses still flying at the car, he grabbed the wand right out Slughorn's hand and most maturely kicked him where the sun don't reach. The fat man crumpled to the ground as Harry became visible, his wand pointed in the fat man's face.
They were supposed to strike at exactly the same time but Draco hesitated, not really wanting to hurt the Headmaster, who used the moment of hesitation to figure them out and strike. He cancelled Draco's Charm and sent the man flying backwards into a tree, wand flying out of his hand. His back hit the trunk hard and he crumpled to the ground, completely winded.
"Dumbledore!" Harry shouted and the old man turned to find Harry using a disarmed and slightly folded in pain Slughorn being used as a human shield, wand at his throat. "We aren't enemies!"
"And yet you are using my friend as a human shield," Dumbledore pointed out wryly, twinkle long gone.
"You opened fire first," Harry told him.
"He has the Dark Mark," the old man said coldly. "I have no reason to trust you."
"We can explain," Harry said, his voice getting a bit desperate. "We aren't enemies."
"Start explaining," Dumbledore commanded.
"All I can tell you right now is that he isn't a true Death Eater," he said.
"What do you mean that's all you can tell me now?" the old man asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"That's a private conversation," came a voice from behind Dumbledore who turned his head slowly and found himself looking at that Muggle weapon he saw earlier. "Drop the wand before I put a bullet in your head."
The old man knew enough of the Muggle world to know that their weapons were a serious danger. However, he refused to drop his wand.
"He ain't dropping shit," Harry said eyeing his old mentor as if suspecting some sort of trick. "Look Headmaster, we aren't here to hurt anyone. We actually kind of need your help. Please, believe us!" He nodded at Draco who took his gun out of the old man's face and came to stand by his friend. Harry released Slughorn who stumbled back to stand by the Headmaster. "We aren't the enemy."
Albus Dumbledore was very good at recognizing a lie, and fake sincerity from true sincerity. He didn't see any lie in the young man's words. He didn't want to fully believe that the blond with the Dark Mark was not a "true" Death Eater, as the dark haired man put it. But the two strangers didn't seem to want to hurt them, and he had opened fire first, meaning any spell they had sent at him could have been purely for defense reasons.
Then there was the fact that they wore Muggle clothes and carried Muggle weapons, something no Death Eater would ever be caught doing no matter what the situation. Those things were too far beneath them. He felt himself inclined to believe them, a disturbing thought in and of itself.
"What exactly are you needing help with?" Albus asked. The two looked extremely relieved at the small peace offering.
"We gotta find a way home," the dark haired man said. "And no, we can't get there by the normal means."
"What do you mean by that, dear boy?" he asked lightly, still suspicious but fully interested.
"That's a conversation for your office," the young man replied. "Don't want anybody to overhear, you know?" Dumbledore nodded and resolved to keep a close eye on the two in case it was some trick to get into the school.
He briefly entertained the notion that he was getting far too paranoid for his own good. But that was what came with war, with Tom's reign of terror. It was just part of the times. He opened his mouth to reply to the stranger when he heard a low growl. They whipped their heads around to the far side of the clearing to see a werewolf emerge from the rustling foliage.
He had completely forgotten that tonight was the full moon in the brief battle he'd just had. Remus. How did he get out of the tunnel?
Draco reacted first, with his wand still somewhere in the woods, he raised his gun and pulled the trigger. Harry forced his wrist down at the last second and the bullet landed in the ground several feet in front of the beast with a small cloud of dirt and a loud crack.
"Are you insane?" Harry shouted. "Don't hurt him!"
"Just go!" Draco shouted back at him then turned to other two. "Get out of the woods now!" He then turned tail and ran. Harry ran towards the confused werewolf that was his future Uncle and Professor, changing into a large silver-red wolf on the way. He growled at the werewolf, blocking his path to the stunned Professors, who eventually turned and ran as well.
The large, grey werewolf leaped towards Harry who dodged and swiped at the creature's shoulder with sharp claws. The thing howled and turned to bite at him, but Harry was already running into the woods. The werewolf gave chase and followed him further in.
Harry, still reeling from all the surprises of the night, found himself quickly calculating the werewolf's age. 1979; they would be in their third year. That meant the others hadn't been able to do their Animagus transformations. That meant no Padfoot and Prongs to the rescue. He'd either have to lose Moony or fight him. Shit! It was just not his day.
He felt a swipe to his back paws come from behind as the werewolf caught up to him and he went head over heels down an embankment and into a small creek. He stumbled up and continued running through the water hearing the large paws of the animal behind him as it followed. He needed to get out of there and fast.
Harry darted off into the woods to his right squeezing under a bush and jumping over roots. The dark creature followed with relative ease. Being much younger, Moony was a lot smaller than he was the last time Harry had dealt with him in his third year. That meant the creature could follow much easier.
Harry darted to the left and the animal followed. He risked a glance behind him and saw Moony running full pelt after him. Mouth wide open and yellow eyes gleaming. Harry was shocked to find that the werewolf looked…happy? The thing was fucking grinning!
With his head turned Harry never saw the root in front of him and went head over heels yet again. Only this time Moony was on him in a second. The werewolf pounced on him biting at his ears. Harry pushed at him with a large paw and managed to get the werewolf, close to his size in its youth, off of him.
Harry took the opportunity and jumped onto it snapping at its nose and ended up getting his teeth around the scruff of the creature's neck, careful not to puncture the skin. The creature went limp in defeat and whined a little. Harry released it and backed up a bit to make sure he was okay. It was still Moony after all.
To his complete and utter shock the creature simply plopped down and panted, mouth wide open in a wolfish smile. He really should have expected this. The werewolf was a Marauder after all. Had Moony thought they were playing? He'd had a few fights with werewolves in the war but they had always been under the effects of the Wolfsbane potion and almost always one of Voldemort's supporters.
Apparently, without the potion they were far more animalistic, which he'd known, but thought would only manifest in viciousness. But clearly, the playful side of the animal could come out as well, especially with another wolf-like animal. Again, he should have known that. Sirius had told him about the games they'd play during the full moon.
With Harry still reeling from his supposed game of whatever they'd just played, Moony took the opportunity to come closer and sniff at him. Harry stood still and let him. This was approaching Twilight Zone shit but he could deal. They were trained to deal with anything and everything under the sun.
Moony nipped playfully at his ears then backed up and let out a howl. Harry mentally shrugged and howled right along with him for a few minutes. He'd never get this opportunity again, so why not?
About ten minutes later the foliage rustled again and Harry turned to growl at it in warning. There was no telling what was in this forest. He cut off immediately when a wolf, a real wolf, emerged. Ah, Remus had a friend!
The other wolf came to sniff him and seemed to find what it was looking for because it nudged his shoulder playfully then turned and ran past the werewolf who quickly followed. The two disappeared and even though he was pretty sure he was supposed to follow as well, he turned instead and headed back the way he'd come. He didn't have time to run through the forest with Moony no matter how much he wanted to.
He sniffed his way back to the clearing with the car and changed back into a human. He drew his wand and said, "Accio Draco's wand!" The piece of wood flew into his hand and he made his out of the forest. He didn't see anyone when he reached the lawn so he assumed they'd gone back to the castle. He quickly made his way there.
The castle doors were wide open, light spilling onto the front steps and he quickly made his way into his first true home. Draco, who had transfigured his shirt into a long sleeve one to cover his Dark Mark, was standing with Dumbledore and Slughorn, as well as a younger looking McGonagall and Flitwick. They were talking lowly and Draco shook his head at something the Potions teacher was saying.
Dumbledore glanced at the front doors to see Harry standing there and gave a friendly smile, something Harry had not expected him to give so soon. Draco followed the Headmaster's eye then waved him over. Harry quickly joined the group and handed his friend his wand.
"Thanks," the blond said re-holstering it on his arm.
"What happened?" Dumbledore asked. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry said. "Little guy was harmless." They looked at him like he was crazy, whether it was because he'd just called a werewolf 'little guy' or 'harmless' or both was left to be determined.
"What happened?" Minerva asked. She seemed distinctly nervous and Harry couldn't blame her; that werewolf was one of her students.
"Well, at first it seemed like he wanted to attack so I turned into my wolf form and drew him further into the woods, you know, away from people," he started explaining. "And then some time during the chase he decided it was a game. I think he was playing tag with me. Then we wrestled and he ran off with a wolf he'd made friends with." They all stared at him again, which after living as the Boy-Who-Lived was easy to ignore. Although, Draco did look like he wanted to punch him.
"Well," Dumbledore said with a clap of his hands to regain the attention. "I think it's time me and these fine gentlemen had a nice, long discussion. Shall we?"
"Lead on," Draco said and the two walked with Dumbledore to his office. The only time they were actually to the man's back was when they were climbing the stairs and Harry thought it was great leap of trust for the old man who thought they were Death Eaters barely an hour before.
When the two entered the office Harry felt his heart constrict a bit at how utterly familiar it all was. The clutter, the gizmos that did who knows what, the phoenix in the corner. The two of them sat in the two chairs in front of the desk without invitation. The Headmaster went to his chair and seemed to sink into it with an air of tiredness.
"Lemon drop gentlemen?" he asked, holding out a tin after taking one himself. Harry gladly took one simply because it was Dumbledore who had asked him. He'd never thought he'd be asked that question again. Draco refused as politely as he could. The blond may have switched sides but he was a Dark Wizard. They didn't tend to get along with Dumbledore.
"Care to tell me what you couldn't before?" Dumbledore asked serenely. Harry hesitated a bit knowing it was going to sound completely crazy but Draco didn't feel any such qualms.
"We're from the future," he blurted out. "2009, to be exact." Dumbledore merely lifted an eyebrow.
"That explains the knowledge you seem to possess of Hogwarts when I know for a fact you have never passed through these walls," he said. Harry didn't even bother talking. "That does not however explain the Dark Mark on your arm."
"There's not much we can tell you other than the Dark Lord was down and out for a little while, came back, and I was recruited during his second campaign. I ended up switching sides though, turning spy. That's why Harry said I wasn't a 'true' Death Eater."
"Harry?" Dumbledore questioned and the two suddenly realized they had yet to tell the man their names.
"I'm Harry," Harry said then jerked his head at the man sitting next to him. "That's Draco."
"And I'm sure the Potter and Malfoy are fairly obvious," Dumbledore replied with a small smile, ignoring the eye roll from Draco and the annoyed huff from Harry as he showed , yet again, why they called him all knowing.
"It's the hair, isn't it?" Draco asked. Dumbledore gave a small nod.
"I'm rather surprised, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said. "I would never have thought someone from that family would choose to wear Muggle clothes and carry Muggle weapons." Draco crossed his arms looking very much like a child.
"It's part of my job," he growled. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and Harry continued.
"After the war, the two of us became Aurors and then were assigned to a special unit that deals with magical contraband, usually Dark artifacts, being smuggled using Muggle means. They do it that way so that there's less of a chance of tripping any Magical censors. However, the Muggles moving the stuff rarely know the truth about what it is so we have to look and fight like Muggles to keep the truth about Magic under wraps."
"Very smart," Dumbledore said looking highly interested. "How did you end up here?" Harry looked a bit sheepish and Draco sent him an annoyed glare.
"We got a tip that someone was smuggling a very powerful magical artifact hidden inside a Snitch and we went after it," he said. "The tipster warned us not to touch it because the energy coming from the artifact hidden inside would be released and probably do something we wouldn't like. We didn't know exactly what but it's pretty obvious now."
"It was an accident," Harry said still avoiding his partner's eye.
"Anyways," Draco said through his teeth. "That's really all we can tell you about anything." Dumbledore nodded understandably. Harry thought the old man was taking this very well when he had absolutely no reason to believe them. He voiced this thought and the Headmaster smiled widely.
"Well, not only do you have knowledge of Hogwarts, but you have knowledge of me," he said. "That was a security question you asked in the Forest, and only close friends would have known the answer to that." The three fell silent for a moment as Harry contemplated the situation he and Draco found themselves in. Their job, hell their pasts, put them in danger a lot and with the types of things they were always chasing down they'd seen some weird things. But this, by far took the cake. God, they had to get home.
"We'll need the library at Hogwarts," Draco said suddenly. "To try and figure out a way to get back."
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, of course," he said. "Although we'll need a story to explain you two. The Ministry will be very interested to hear that you're here for no apparent reason."
"Right," Draco said hanging his head in exhaustion so that he was staring at the ceiling.
"It's a bit into the term but you wouldn't happen to have an open teaching position would you?" Harry asked and when Dumbledore let out a satisfied grin he felt he'd just fallen into another one of the man's plans.
"Actually we do," the Headmaster replied. "We've been rotating the staff through the position until we could find a more permanent teacher."
"Let me guess," Draco said sarcastically, head still hanging. "Defense Against the Darks Arts."
"Exactly Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said with a smile.
"We'll take it!" Harry said quickly. "D, do you wanna be the teacher or the assistant?"
"What do you think?"
"Assistant it is."
"You will also need to change your looks," Dumbledore pointed out. "Although as you said before it really is just the hair. Especially since you don't have glasses like the Potter men." Harry gave him a cheeky grin.
"Contacts," he said but Dumbledore didn't know what those were. "Never mind."
Harry raised his wand and muttered the Disguise spell, as did Draco. His hair flattened a bit and turned a reddish blond. His eye color moved towards a blue green so that they couldn't be compared to Lily's eyes. Draco's hair kept the same length and texture but turned brown and his eyes turned brown as well. He looked remarkably normal, like one of those people who could fade into a crowd and never be seen again.
"You've done this before," Dumbledore noted.
"Yeah, we've done some undercover work before," Draco told him.
"Professor Dumbledore," Harry said. "Meet Harry Parker and Drake Patterson."
"Pleased to meet you," the old man said with an amused smile. "And welcome to Hogwarts."
"Is there anything else you need?" Draco/Drake asked rather rudely. "It's been a long, strange day." Dumbledore didn't seem the least bit offended.
"Just one thing," he said. "I'm sorry if I damaged your car. Does everyone in your Unit drive such nice vehicles?" Harry was rather surprised that Dumbledore knew enough about cars to know which ones were nice and which ones were pieces of shit. Draco gave a snort but Harry answered.
"Naw," he said. "Draco didn't want to drive theirs."
"They were crap," the brown haired man replied.
"So he bought his own, and he can't do anything subtle so we got that shiny thing outside."
"Hey man," Draco said. "Don't diss my car. I paid two thousand Galleons for it. Zero to sixty in five seconds. It's a limited edition."
"Damn straight it's limited!" Harry exclaimed. "No cup holders, no backseat. It's just a shiny dick with two chairs in it and I guess we the balls just dragging the fuck along." Draco glared at his partner and Dumbledore heard him mutter, "No respect." Unfortunately, Harry heard as well and the two lapsed into a rather pointless argument. The old Headmaster had never heard such distinctly Muggle insults come from Wizards before.
Apparently, their time in the Muggle world was rubbing off on their vocabulary. Dumbledore called a House Elf and managed to break into the argument long enough to tell them that the Elf would show them to their quarters and to have a good night. He had a feeling that it would be extremely interesting to have those two around.
Next Chapter: Classes and another pointless arguement