Prologue

Justin Taylor lay alone in his bed in his new York city studio. Unfinished sketches lay cluttering about the room. Justin just didn't feel the need to finish them. His inspiration was gone. He'd left that behind long ago in Pittsburg Pennsylvania.

"Brian…"

Justin whispered into the darkness. His studio window over looked the beautiful new York city lights.

The gigantic sky scrapers lit up the night sky and the streets full of endless cars made the roads appear to be rivers of light. Sounds of honking horns, music and other city chatter drifted up to Justin's window. He had the curtains pulled shut. Justin just wanted to be alone now. Just to lay in the darkness and long for all his soul to have Brian laying next to him. He longed to feel Brains arms around him again and to taste his sweet kiss. He remembered how Brian would whisper into his ear in the seemingly endless nights of pleasure. Justin thought back to the way brains touch had made him shiver yet comforted him when nothing else would. Brian had always been there for him. To protect him; to defend him, to love him. Brian had taken Justin in when his family had rejected him and gave him a home. Brian had always been there for him and always would. Justin loved Brian with everything he had. He was beginning to wander now if it had been a mistake to pass up brains proposal and go to art school. At first justin believed he could. That he'd be able to make it in new York without brian. But each night without brian by his side ripped a hole deeper and deeper into justins heart. Sure they had spoken on the phone but that was rare. Hearing brains voice soothed justin and relieved some of the pain in his heart. He needed to see brian and lay in his stong embrace. Justin bit his lip as a tear streamed down his check. The hole in his heart throbbed painfully.

"brian." He whispered again letting loose more tears. As hard as he tried not to cry the tears eventually won and poured down justins angelic face. He gave in and sobbed for brain , regretting his decision to leave. His heart throbbed painfully. Justin rolled over in the bed and reached for the night stand to get his phone. No. a phone call wouldn't do this time. He needed brian here now. He had to be with him. Justin wiped his teary face with his palms and brushed his fist under his nose. It was decided he was leaving new York and going back to pittsburg. "fuck new york! Fuck art school! All of this is worth nothing if brian isn'there. With that thought justin packed a few of his things and left for pittsburg.

Chapter one

It was late morning in the navotany house. Debbie was banging around in the kitchen preparing breakfast for vic, micheal and emmet. Emmet who had taken up temporary residence. Ded didn't mind. The smell of sizzling bacon filled the air and poping eggs sang in the frying pan. Deb gave the pancakes one last flip and pranced over to the cabinet to retrieve glasses for orange juice. Worring that she might not have fixed enough food for her boys. Emmett looked to damn skinny anyway she thought.

"jesus deb!" Vic said stepping into the kitchen and waving a hand playfully under his nose. "decide to burn the house down again?"

Debbie popped her gum

"shut the hell up and sit down you little smart ass!" she snapped.

She and vic always played around he was her brother and she cared deeply for him. Vic laughed and took his place at the table.

"Hey waitress can I get some orange juice? Service sucks around here."

Deb laughed

"didn't your mother teach you any fucking manners? Shut up or the next time you suck anything it will be through a straw!

She joked along with him as she poured juice for everyone. Deb quickly flipped the eggs in the pan and moved the bacon around on the stove top. She cursed under her breath as the hot grease popped on her hand. Vic snickered Debbie marched over to a drawer and pulled out a straw tossing it and hit vic right in the forehead.

"you just might need that if you keep it up." She grinned

Vic laughed at her little joke.

"Emmett! Micheal! Get your butts down here and help me set the table!" Deb bellowed up the stairs/

"coming!" came emmetts unmistakable voice from the stair case. Deb smiled in affection for her boys. Like brian, Emmett had alos become part of her family. Debbie walked back into the kitchen. Vic was already reading the morning paper. She flipped on the coffee maker and gave the food one last prod to see if they were done.

"oh my god!" Emmett eclaimed inhaling deeply.

"it smells divine in here!"

Deb chuckled "well theres plenty more to go around Em and if u boys want more id be happy to make it!"

"Don't tell me you made another breakfast buffet mom." Micheal said following in behind Emmett.

"Of course I did honey!" Deb slapped him playfully on the butt.

"I'm your mother and your both too damn skinny anyway!" "Now you both set the table its almost ready. Obidently micheal and emmet headed over to the cabinet for knew what would happen if they didn't. "'scuuuuussse me!" Emmett; a plate in each hand flounced past imitating deb in the diner sat them down on the table. Deb laughed and clipped him on the butt with her kitchen towel.

With the table now set and everyone seated, Debbie took each pan individually and loaded everyones plate with food. Lastly when everyone was served, she sat down next to vic with what was left of the food which was still quite a bit. Deb always cooked to feed an entire army.

"mmm! Love it!" complimented Emmett

"thanks Em," deb said taking a bite of her own eggs, "theres more where that came from."

Suddenly the door bell rang. Everyone stopped eating and looked at eachother.

"who the hell could that be?" eb asked glancing towards the door.

"I don't know". Emmett replied " I didn't think that guy I went home with last night from Q knew I lived here."

Deb rolled her eyes and got up from the table "I'm coming I'm coming! Don't get your tits in a knot!"

Deb cursed as the loose door knob broke in her hand. "Shit!" it had been wobbly forever but now it finally went. She looked at the remains of the broken door knob in her hands. "Emmett was supposed to fix that" she growled through clenched teeth. She cursed again finding it hard to pry the door open without a door knob. What she saw made her gasp!

Chapter 2

"Hey Debbie' Justin smiled

"SUNSHINE!" Debbie shrieked pulling him through the door into a hug whacking him on the back with the now forgotten door knob handle. Justin "oomphed" as she did so.

"oh my god! Let me get a look at you!" deb gripped justins arms and held him at arms length.

"I cant believe its you!" Deb pulled him into another hug once again hitting him with the broken door knob. "Its so good to see you deb!" Justin grinned his sweet boyish smile. He glanced down at debs hand to see what had hit him. "Oh sorry." Deb apologized remembering the broken door knob in her hands. "EMMETT!" she hollered into the kitchen, "I thought you said you'd fix the fucking door knob!" she emphasized fucking. "Sorry!" Emmett flounced into the living room. "it was on my to do list and I………… oh my god justin!" the two boys collided in a hug. Justin couldn't believe how good it felt to see his old friends again. He was finally home. "Sorry bout the door knob deb. I'll get right to it."

"What door knob?" Deb pushed it in emmetts face and justin began to bust up laughing.

"Oh dear." Well its nothing a couple screws wont fix." Emmet knelt down and cocked his eyebrows. Justin smirked cathing emmetts double meaning. He hadn't realized how much he really did miss everyone.

( for anyone who cares or who is just wandering where the hell I got the idea for the door knob scene watch queer as folk bloopers season 5 on youtube. .com/watch?v=2fStl-KGgQI)

"Since when did you become such a handy man?" justin asked

"since I met my handy man boyfriend." Emmett replied jamming the door knob back into the socket. "and boy is he haaaaandy!" Emmett emphasized the word handy. Justin laughed again. "So what brings you back? I thought you were in new York? Deb led him into the kitchen leaving Emmett to deal with the door knob. Justins heart dropped. "I came back for brian." Deb froze and bit her lip. "Ishould have known." She said solemnly "Sit down and I'll whip up some more eggs."

"Well look what the cat drug in!" Vic dropped the paper to get a good look at justin. "Back from new York already?" "how was the sex?" Vic was in general and old perv but justin still loved him.

"um not really any….."

"ive got a twenty in my wallet if your ever interested."

"VIC!" Debbie swatted him on the back of the head with her spatula.

"so you back for good now huh?" micheal asked from across the table.

"Yes um.. does anyone know where brian is?" "I went to his loft but nobody was home…"

Justin trailed off as he noticed the silence that had settled over the kitchen.

"sunshine." Deb sat next to him with a cup of coffee in her hands. "brian aint been doing so well since you left hun."

"whay? Whats wrong? What happened?" justin spoke rapidly his voice filled with concern and worry.

"Its just…" deb sighed and took a deep breath not sure how to tell justin. She paused again and took another moment to collect her thoughts. "just what?" justin broke through her train of thought.

Deb exhaled. "he just aint been himself lately." Justin glanced around the table at micheal and vic at the table who all appeared sullen faced. "Wh-what do you mean? Is he alright?"

Debbie took a sip of her coffe before answering "I don't know just aint been right since you left for new york" "it really took a toll on him. "You see brains drinking habits have gotten….worse." "I'm real worried about him I thought it would get better so I decided to stayout of it at first. But hell now he'll barely even adknowledge me micheal or vic." He's really depressed." "hell I think it was your phone calls that kept him alive."

Justin gasped totally afraid for brian. Brian had never let on anything like this had been going on on their rare phone calls.