Disclaimer: I don't own the two characters I'm using to tell this non-profit tale. Trying to sue me would be a foolish waste of time.

A/N: If I summarized the hell out of this it would ruin the fun (for me) and negate the need to write copious amounts of words to tell a full on story. I will warn you though that I chose to write this story in Regina's POV in the first person and it has lots of dialogue/banter. (I'm not interested in writing an entire story of nothing but endless paragraphs of exposition.) So do what you have to do with the information provided and pass on this or not.

-]:[-A Plague (I call a heartbeat)-]:[-

I. Arrhythmia

I could never miss this wretched land. I didn't even give myself the opportunity to miss the cold since Maine is about as warm as this place. It's snowing of course; fine dry flurries flit in the air every now and then, and every time I exhale the tale-tale vapor is a faint cloud in front of my face. The only good thing about being here, for now, is I didn't lose my son. One of the bad things is I didn't lose his other mother. I realize I should be more cordial to Emma but I've decided that's dangerous until proven otherwise. I've had more time than I've cared to spare in regards to the Savior and what has happened between us over the years.

That day on the town line I was prepared, as much as I could be, to lose the last thing that mattered to me. Though I neglected to factor in a stubborn Savior. The woman, who was engineered to get what she wanted, but only in destined circumstances, would in fact choose not to escape the curse. And while she was at it she elected to include my son in her plans too, but it's not as though I'm ungrateful for that. Since then I've assumed fate itself had finally elected to intervene due to Miss Swan's unfortunate circumstances that were set into motion for nothing short of a very selfish act. Not that my or rather Rumple's Dark Curse was anything giving.

I never would have harmed Emma as a child, even if the two idiots had done something smart for once in their lives and not shipped her off in a magical treehouse. I can't imagine anything crueler than doing that to an infant and then use blind faith as a way to justify it. I hope Emma never fully forgives her parents for that. I don't see how she could but then again I've done that and more for one kind word from my mother. I wanted more from her than what she gave me. I had one small glimpse of the person my mother could've been to me before she was gone. Lately, I've realized I hate that my mother kept my green sister's existence hidden from me.

In almost a vain effort to keep myself sane here, I try my best not to dwell on those thoughts too much or the ones that followed when I passed out after touching the scroll. I didn't really see what had to be done. Everyone was looking to me like I was bestowed with all the answers to our problems, but I didn't so I improvised. What I saw was images of my life that I had lived and one's that I hadn't. I saw Emma as something more than the most challenging nemesis I've had in a long time. I saw all the moments she went out of her way for likes of me. When my eyes opened to her, her name was already on my tongue and I hated that as much as I could.

"Shit! It's cold."

It would appear that the definition of curse has evolved to include being followed by persons who are difficult to escape.

"How are you even enjoying your little nature walk, Regina? I mean the blue fur coat you got on looks more decorative than functional, and I highly doubt skin tight leather pants are insulating."

I turn around to glare at the woman who is worse than some eager puppy for attention. Or more accurately I would liken her to an irritating rash that crops up without warning.

"I'll reconsider my wardrobe choices when you decide to stop dressing like a butch medieval Barbie."

Emma's mouth drops open and the sight makes me smirk. The woman has no idea how to clothe herself in any realm. Not that what she has on is beyond horrible. In fact if I weren't actively trying to insult her for the sheer pleasure of it I would say she actually looks like a quite striking female Viking warrior.

"I was wondering when you would start in on the blonde insults. It took a while. I guess you had to exhaust the prison jokes first."

I roll my eyes at her before turning away. My boots crunch in the freezing crust that has gathered on the surface of the snow. I only make four strides before I hear Miss Swan walking up behind me. If I hadn't been too busy analyzing my situation I would've heard her lumbering steps long before her mouth gave her away earlier.

"I do hope you stopped to pick your mother some Snowbells or some Talking Tulips?" I say while I listen to Emma's heavy breathing as she gets closer. "I mention that only because your father deemed it a reasonable action when we were traipsing in the Dark Forest looking for the door that led to that useless blonde twit."

Emma scoffs, "Mary Margaret said you couldn't pass through that door because of your heart or some such shit. Sounds like a whole bunch of bullshit to me. Glinda was probably afraid you would make her look like some second rate witch which she is since..."

"Emma, I don't need a recap. I was there and you were what...running around with the handless wonder making eyes while swapping spit and rum?"

The blonde idiot rushes up behind me faster and then I'm lurched forward when she bumps my shoulder with her's.

"Hey, I kissed him one time! One damn time!" Emma says rather sourly and I briefly glance over at her to see her frowning. "You know I've been given so much grief over it I wish I could take it back. Killian's driving me crazy over it and Mary Margaret isn't too far behind. And I think David has some kind of boy crush on him too."

I nearly laugh at Emma's deduction of her father Prince Charming having latent tendencies towards the loathsome pirate. Snow White is a better romantic prospect and coming from me that's saying a lot.

"What did you expect? Hook is over two hundred years old and not from the world you grew up in. If you didn't want his persistent attentions you should've passed on the thought of kissing him before kissing him." I say while trying to walk faster but Emma just matches me stride for stride. "And your mother is your mother; she reminds me of a yapping Pekingese with a squeaky chew toy. She'll not let go of the idea of your makeup and excessive man jewelry wearing pirate becoming your pirate true love anytime soon."

"God, can we stop talking about this?"

"Fine by me since I think Hook is a waste of oxygen and eyeliner."

Emma chuckles and then I feel her arm brush against mine, "So...Zelena's a trip. How are you dealing with being a little sister all of the sudden? I mean I get you were probably more comfortable when she was threatening you."

Typical. I do so enjoy Emma's clumsy attempts at verbal barbs. I try to walk a little faster, not too fast though because Queens do not run from anyone. But then of course she predictably matches my stride until she is right beside me yet again.

"Aww come on, Regina. You're too old to be giving me the silent treatment."

I stop abruptly to glare at the smirking former Sheriff of Storybrooke, "Miss Swan, are you trying to bait me into using you for magical target practice? Because if you reference my age one more time you can take it up with several of my fireballs."

Emma laughs, "I'm not afraid of you, I can defend myself. I have my own magic but I would never use it to hurt you."

I huff out a sigh, "I know."

And I do. This last year being back in a realm I no longer consider my home has only been bearable because of two people, Henry being one of those people and a certain annoying woman who has a penchant for red leather.

"Hey, is it that bad? Our age gap or something, is that it? I mean I saw that scruffy dude in green with the cute little boy making eyes at you. So you could give him a try if you're in the mood for something more rustic and from your age group."

"So you've come to your senses then have you?"

Emma scoffs and rolls her eyes, "No, shit. Okay, first off you don't look your age. And I can do basic math and I know you're technically only three or four years older than me. But there are other things, I mean you avoid me pretty much every chance you get. You don't want me to touch you. Christ Regina, what am I supposed to do? I told you I liked you a lot and I wanted to put our bitchtastic past behind us and try for something better. I mean I know you didn't exactly say 'yes' but you also didn't say 'no'. Help me out here, please?"

If we had no past and we had just met I would've said yes in less than a heartbeat. But nothing is ever that simple for me. My heart looks like it was infected with a black plague; it has so little light left in it. So all I'm left with is feeling like can't risk what I have left on just anyone.

"Regina, please don't string me along. I wouldn't do that to you."

"I'm not stringing you along, Emma."

"Then what is it? I mean Mary Margaret-Snow White and Prince Charming himself doesn't care that I have the hots for a certain Queen and Mayor."

"I don't need their approval." I say with a reproachful smirk and plenty of distain. "And 'the hots'? Tell me are those the type of sweet words you've used in the past to woo all your potential romantic conquests?"

Emma snorts, "I'm going to let that little quip slide since I know that's your way of wooing." I glare at Emma and in return she winks at me. "Okay then, so we're out in the cold because I have the hots for you and you needed to cool off your feverish attraction to me too? Or are you trying to freeze to death and that's your way of letting me down gently?"

"I didn't ask you to follow me, dear."

"I got that already."

My feet are getting cold in my boots and for a second I'm tempted to use one of my fireballs to start a fire. Emma is quiet for once so far and I'm usually not one for stall tactics, but I would bet she's more than likely of accusing me of such a thing in her thoughts right now.

"I need more time."

"Don't we all." Emma intones with a smirk. "But I'm not going to wait forever and no, that's not a passive aggressive way of telling you to hurry the hell up."

"I wonder if you want to...try this between us simply for Henry's sake. I'm having trouble understanding how you could've developed feelings for me, Emma."

The Savior huffs out an angry breath that makes a quite a large wisp of a cloud in the cold. I really can't comprehend her attraction to me, by all accounts its odd, but it's there and I'm including myself in that equation. The lull between us is somewhat stifling, so I turn away from Emma and start walking again. The Savior of course follows after me with a noticeable sigh.

"Why does everything have to be the trials of Hercules with you? I didn't ask for your hand in marriage. I asked you if you liked my company enough to spend more time with me. And is it so wrong that Henry wants his parents to get along? That's just me and you now."

I've had no desire to mention Neal for a while now. Even before Emma's suggestion to me he continually lurked around her until his unfortunate passing. Henry was hurt and I would never want to take anything away from that, no matter my feelings regarding the other person who is responsible for my son's life.

"We've been stuck here almost a year and I hate it here." Emma says while continuing to walk beside me. I had no clue she would be this talkative about everything that pops into her mind. "Even the shine of this place has worn off on the kid. Red doesn't like it so much anymore and she's a nature lover by birth; hello werewolf. My parents don't want to have another kid here without modern medicine at their disposal. Shit, I can't believe I'm going to have a sibling that'll be thirty years younger than me. I feel old just thinking about it."

Trying to hide a smirk from forming is fruitless. There is no form of contraceptives here other than abstinence. But of course even with that knowledge Snow and her Shepherd would end up with another child without even considering Emma's feelings. The two idiots are more selfish than I could ever try with intent to be. And is Emma really still rambling along?

"I mean don't you miss your nice central heated house, indoor plumbing and electricity. The fireplaces here suck. Your mansion's fireplaces put out more heat."

"How did you go from talking about your abundantly pregnant mother to my non-existent house?"

"You weren't even listening were you, Regina?"

I inhale sharply, "I chose to go for a walk to clear my head. Not be hounded by a babbling blonde."

Emma mock laughs, "That's two blonde jokes. One more and I'll sit on your lap and braid your hair."

"How is that remotely possible?"

"Blonde jokes are meant to imply stupidity, Regina."

"Yes well, you will not be sitting on my lap here in the wilderness regardless if I endeavor to try for an illustrious third quip, Miss Swan."

"Have I told you yet how much I love it when you call me that?"

I pick up the pace again and step over a small fallen tree limb. Maybe Emma will trip over it.

"You know I asked you nearly two months ago if you wanted to try being more than friends." Emma says with a pant because she indeed stumbled over the branch, alas no falling down on her face happened though. "And you won't even let me hold your hand much less anything else. How can you know if there's anything there between us if you don't even want to try out the smallest, simplest thing? So I think that when we find a way back to civilization I'm going to see other people because no one else here interests me."

"What?" I blurt out and stop walking. "You can't be serious."

In less than a second Emma's body brushes up against my shoulder before she steps away, but only marginally. I'm half way ready to ridicule her about the yearning pirate again. But on further reflection I have no wish to drag the mere mention of his slimy essence into our conversation one more time.

"Fuck Regina, if you don't want me then what the hell else am I supposed to do? Pine away after you? I won't do that. In the world I grew up in you...a person is lucky if they find someone that gets them; forget the true love bullshit. How's that even a guarantee that what you have will last? You know nothing lasts forever so to me it just sounds like a recipe for heartache and a sure fire way to drive yourself off the deep end."

I chuckle, "If only your mother could hear you now."

"Oh shut up about her! I'm not her, I'll never be her! I don't want to be her!"

Emma's little outburst is surprisingly pleasant in the sense it was anti-Snow White, that and she may have frightened off any hostile wildlife. But knowing my luck it was more like ringing a dinner bell to call in a ravenous horde.

"Don't worry, dear. I would never mistake you for your mother that is unless you start spouting cheerful nonsense while letting birds nest in your hair."

Emma cocks her head to the side and frowns a little, "She doesn't do that. Does she?"

"Your mother has been spouting all sorts of flowery tripe as long as I've known her and the bird thing is common knowledge. I mean do you really think it's an accident that your father is an animal lover too?"

"You make them sound like 'furries'."

I almost want to laugh because Emma's insinuation about her parents is funny. Snow White and her Prince as sexual perverts would be a tale for the ages. I blame the internet for my knowledge on such a predilection. I spent some time browsing the internet accordingly when it was available for useful matters. But it was also a minefield of human degradation and a person is always one keystroke away from porn. Needless to say I had Henry's computer on the highest privacy settings I could get the damned device to adhere to.

"Miss Swan, I would rather not infect my brain with images of your parents coupling in any way. They do not make brain bleach here."

Emma laughs and I feel my face wanting to give in to a smile but I fight it off. Instead, I roll my eyes at her and start trekking through the snow again. The full moon over head provides a light that manages to break through the near naked treetops, but it's the snow on the ground that makes it seem like a dark daylight. For a second I chuckle because this is the only snow I've successfully been able to walk all over.

"Wow, your hair is really long here, not as long as mine though. But how come you kept it cut off in Storybrooke?"

I honestly fear that if I keep rolling my eyes at the dolt trailing after me I may eventually strain something, and then where will I be?

"Have you just now noticed that inconsequential detail, Emma?" I say without stopping or sparing a look back. "Or are you that easily distracted?"

"You're extra grouchy tonight, today, whatever." I hear Emma grumble before a loud snap follows and then a thud resounds behind me.

The sound of a Savior falling down makes me smile so widely, quickly that my face starts to hurt. But I actually don't want Emma injured so I stop and turn around to see her almost in push-up form, picking herself up off the ground. The snow is so frozen and cold it only leaves dry wisps, like white dirt on Emma's front. I walk over to her and offer her my hand. She looks up at me and those admittedly lovely green eyes are alight with emotions; mostly embarrassment and maybe a tinge of anger too.

"Thanks, but I got this."

"Alright."

Emma picks herself up in a huff and wipes off the front of her outfit, but then she abruptly stops and then seems to stare at something in the distance just off my left shoulder.

"Hey, is it just me or is that a really big door in the middle of the forest?"

I turn around and yes, it's not just Miss Swan's eyesight that may be in question. However, that doesn't change the fact that there is a now door less than ten feet away from us, and since I know my companion all too well I know what's coming next.

"Emma don't."

"Why not? It might be a way back home or at least somewhere better than here."

Blonde idiot. I watch as said idiot tromps through roughly seven inches of snow towards the door. It's blue with yellow royal symbols on it and it was most definitely not there a few minutes ago. A large free-standing door in the middle of woods is not something you just fail to notice.

"Oh, maybe I'll get lucky and meet some hottie I have something in common with who wants me and then we can..."

"Shut up, Miss Swan!" I shout as step in Emma's footprints in the snow.

"What the hell is up your butt?"

I frown and reach out to Emma with my magic before she reaches the door. I suppose to most it looks as though I'm trying to strangle her since the hand gesture is nearly the same. But when I lift the Savior off the ground she lets out a yelp and I end up laughing a little.

"You think this is funny do you? I'll give you something to laugh about when you put me down! Put me down now, Regina!"

"No."

As I slowly float Emma back to me I see her frown deepening. I find that satisfying.

"Put me down, damn it!"

I could hold Miss Swan up in the air for hours. She is nothing like moving some fifty ton boulder because I can.

"Do you really want a woman with a black heart to share not only your son with but your heart, mind and body?"

Emma stops struggling against her invisible bonds. My magic is holding her aloft like a giant hand; secure but not tight enough to hurt her.

"And out the truth comes, finally." Emma says with obvious exasperation. "I should've known that the only way you would make yourself vulnerable would be if you had some kind hold over me. I didn't think it would be literally."

"Answer the question."

"Do you really want the answer, Regina? Or have you already decided what I'm going to say?"

Waiting the Savior out is easy. The woman has less patience than I do and that's really saying something. Emma wriggles her fingers and then I feel her trying to use her magic, but like always in her frustration she looks to me for direction. That in itself was one of many clues that showed me I was headed for a different kind of trouble with Emma Swan; her magic is all too happy to join with mine.

"Yes, I do because I think you're wonderful, Regina." Emma says with gentle determination that almost makes me drop her for a reason other than for a possible laugh. "I want that fierce loyalty you have directed at me. And if it works out between us I really want that deep unending love you have to offer too. I didn't get much of that in my life and I..." She laughs and then a tear runs out of her eye and I track its path to the corner of her lips. "I think you want someone who's willing to accept your past, your flaws, and mistakes. You need the freedom someone like that will want to give you. I can do that if you let me. Loving you wouldn't be hard either. I already pretty much do."

My hand shakes as I lower Emma to the ground. She smiles at me and starts to walk the feet few that I left between us. Her cloak shifts behind her as a brisk breeze blows through the trees. And despite what Emma thinks about my wardrobe I'm warm now. The only part of me that's slightly chilled is my face but I'm not fashioning some form of a ski mask.

"Was that really necessary?"

"I had to make a statement." I say while straightening my posture but it's not as if I were slouching. A lesser mind would call it fidgeting. "And you're fine."

Emma grins, "You think I'm fine, huh?"

"Don't twist my words, Miss Swan."

"You know I held back something else about you." Emma teases with a smile and I raise my eyebrows at her. "I really like that snark of yours too. It's never a dull moment around you."

"So you like it even when I insult you?"

Emma smirks and then stops moving towards me until just a few scant inches are left.

"I get that you care enough to even bother, Regina. Besides you're rude; you can't help it, or at least that's what Zelena said."

I feel my mouth fall open a little but I stop it before it would look as though I'm trying to be a fish of some sort, "So after Zelena came to the conclusion that I had a life no better than her's she's suddenly the authority on me?"

Emma chuckles, "Be glad that she actually wants to be your sister and not some shapely green wicked witch on a broom with a chip on her shoulder."

"Amazing insight, thanks ever so much, Miss Swan." I say but then something that was said dawns on me. "You called my sister 'shapely'. Has she been flirting with you?"

Emma smiles widely and by God I suddenly want to do much more than hold her hand, and by that I mean bodily harm.

"Just making sure you were listening, Regina. But it's true though. You two have different fathers but Zelena's still your sister and you two aren't exactly burdened by fugly genes."

I find it all kinds of pathetic that I want to slap her and then maybe kiss her. I suppose that's to be expected though given who we are to one another.

"Hey, I'm only kidding Regina. I've only talked to her, nothing else." Emma says as she leans in closer to me. "But I have to admit that even though she's green, which doesn't bother me, she has those clear blue eyes and then there's that smooth British, Bond-villainess accent thing going on; cleavage out all over the place. Plus, she's a red hot ginger and you know what they say about those."

"You'd better be joking again." I say while fighting off the urge to kiss the smirk off the idiot in front of me. "Otherwise, the pretty words you said a few minutes ago will mean absolutely nothing to me."

"Your voice is way sexier; a well thought out phrase from you could turn anyone. I think you could read a thesaurus and it would do all sorts of things to me." Emma says lowly as her eyes trace over my face. "And some of the dresses and outfits I've seen you strutting around in; let's just say you have some serious cleavage happening too. But I tell you what, I miss seeing that straining third button on your shirts more than anything."

I will not blush like some pre-tween over Emma's apparent fixation on my dresses and coats daring cuts. I've not worn any of those clothes in guise of gaining her attention; all of them are my old clothes anyway.

"I'm going to ignore what you said about my sister's chest and mine, Miss Swan. Instead, I'm going to focus on how much you enjoy my voice?"

The Savior's high cheekbones color and despite the cold I suddenly feel even warmer than before.

"Yeah, I've always thought so and you if you ever talked dirty to me I would probably 'lose it' if you know what I mean. And that little scar on your upper lip is just, ugh...I really want to kiss it right now."

It's not every day a Queen allows a crude and generally uncouth woman to seduce in her in the woods. Today was apparently that day though without my knowledge, until now of course.

"So do it then, Em-ma."

The Savior groans, "I love it when you say my name like that." She says while biting her lower lip. "But I need your answer first. I've been waiting patiently with no expectations because contrary to what you might think of me, I'm not channeling Hook's insistence for true love declarations now."

"I would never demean you by comparing you to that rum smelling oaf." I say with a smirk as I reach out and touch the fur collar of Emma's cloak. "I prefer to insult you in much more creative and worthy means."

Emma grins and narrows her eyes at me, "Hey, what about that hunk of forest manly-ness? I wasn't kidding when I said it seemed to me that he liked you too."

"Are you trying to sabotage yourself, dear?"

"Nah, just giving you an out if you want one. I meant what I said that forcing myself on you isn't a turn on, it's a huge turn off."

"So you would deny your own wants for my happiness?"

"In a heartbeat." Emma says without hesitation. "But for your information I have much more to offer than him. So I'm secure."

I smile because I can't help myself anymore, "Oh really? And what do you have that he doesn't?"

"Better grooming habits for starters. I think being close to all that scruff would be fine and dandy if a brillo pad is cuddly and something akin to baby soft in your opinion. And let's face it I'm much easier on the eyes; you'll enjoy that benefit on the days when we're fighting like two rats over a block of cheese."

I smirk at her, "Another lovely set of images, what else?"

"I gave you a beautiful boy to call your own. You know the kid is so much like you it's scary sometimes." Emma says and then leans in even closer. My eyes fall shut on their own in anticipation but all I feel next is her forehead touching mine. "I'm glad Henry ended up with you. I get that things went bad between you two when he found out he was adopted, but after everything I think he's blessed to be wanted and loved by you."

I squeeze my eyes tighter together but then an unlicensed sniffle comes out. I'm not going to be able to keep from crying if Emma keeps this up.

"I have magic like you do." Emma says and for a second I forget that she's still listing her desirable qualities to me. "I think that makes us both special and this is the part you're going to hate...fortunate that we found each other."

With a scoff I open my eyes and lightly push on Emma's chest which makes her laugh.

"You're really cute when you get huffy, Regina. But don't make me say what I think when you get really angry."

"And what's that?"

Emma chuckles, "That you're unbelievably hot when you're pissed. I swear after I took that chainsaw to your apple tree I was worried for a few seconds that I was going to end up with less clothes on and you on top of me, which is one of the many reasons I had to bring my mega bitch A-game."

I laugh because at this point it would be hard for me not to. Maybe allowing or rather putting my heart in line of fire again is the only sacrifice I have left that's worthwhile.

"What an active imagination you have, Miss Swan. Is that truly something you want from me?"

"The better question is that something you want? Because I'm not that subtle."

"Very true, dear." I say while allowing myself to blatantly 'check out' the person before me. "And it might not be all that unpleasant to see you...stripped bare."

Emma chuckles again and before I can say anything more to playfully distract her, I feel her hands cradling my face and she leans in again.

"Yes or no, please?"

Something I've been the most unwilling to confront when Emma asked was that there will be no going back for me. Not to speak unkindly about the woman in front of me but she would move on from me quite easily I imagine. She's genuinely young, not preserved from the ravages of time by a curse. However, her heart has been tested as much as mine so maybe I'm being unfair in my assumptions.

I breathe out through my nose while looking into those clear sea-green eyes of Emma's, "Yes, but if my sister flirts with you again I want you to tell me, and then I'll deal with her as I see fit."

"You've got nothing to worry about, Regina. But honestly Zelena does seem like the 'steal your boyfriend' type. I don't know about girlfriends though."

I chuckle darkly but I'm stopped when Emma's lips faintly touch mine. My heart is beating too fast and far too quickly but at the same time it's peaceful. I know for certain now that my blackened, overtaxed heart is in the best and worst kind of jeopardy.

Soundtrack: "Love My Way" by The Psychedelic Furs & "Short Skirt-Long Jacket" by Cake

Parting Words: The door in the forest was the way to Elsa. *wink, wink* The heart terminology chapter headings were entirely too fun to pass on and the title of this story is borrowed from a Bowie lyric.