When Tony finds out you're self-harming

It was a quiet evening in Avengers facility, Bucky had decided to take Steve and Sam out for dinner, Clint was with his family. Thor somewhere in the Universe. Only remained Vision, Wanda, you and of course Tony. He had invited Peter to show him his new suit and have dinner with us.

But today wasn't a good day, even though it had started like any other day. You had trained with Natasha in the morning, taught Happy how to use a tablet. And you were enjoying a quiet afternoon in the library, when your anxiety came back, feeling alert, your heart rate increasing. You tried to calm down, closed your eyes and breathe but it wouldn't stop your thoughts from racing. This need to be free from this pain you felt inside, you only knew one way to get rid of it…you knew it wasn't good but cutting your flesh was a soothing pain, it had become an addiction, the more you tried to resist the more you were thinking about it. So, you did it again until the anxiety went away, you couldn't help but feel guilty to yield to hurt yourself.

Dinner time came, you changed your shirt for long sleeves to hide your scars, the friction of the fabric hurting your burning arm. But you were not anxious anymore, just happy to be with your friends that you considered like a family now. Vision and Wanda were already cooking, eyeing each other with love.

"Hey the lovebirds! What are you preparing?" you asked, smelling a wonderful aroma.

"We are making Bortsch, you'll love it!" answered Wanda smiling.

"What kind of dessert did you choose for tonight?" asked you Vision, he was always eager to learn about food.

"I will be cooking some apple and raisin crumble" you answered, winking at him. "Anyway, where's Peter? He was supposed to help me with it. Friday?"

"He is currently with Mr Stark, shall I tell him to join you?" answered the AI

"Yes, please, thanks Friday." You replied, gathering the ingredients and tools you needed. After washing the fruits, you started chopping the apples in thin slices.

"I'M HERE MRS Y/N!" you jumped startled by the sudden appearance of the young man.

"My god, Peter don't scare me like that!" you exclaimed, a small laugh escaping your lips, he was so sweet and also clumsy sometimes.

"I'm so sorry Mrs, what can I do to help you?" He asked eagerly.

"So, you'll be preparing the crumble, here I prepared the instructions for you." You said giving him a piece of paper.

"Got it!"

"Damn, looks like we'll get belly full tonight!" you hear Tony say, he leaned against the counter, sipping a glass of whiskey, looking at you and Peter affectionately. You loved these moments where you could forget the world and enjoy the present moment. While you turned to take cinnamon powder, Tony tried to steal a piece of apple, you quickly turned around and hit playfully his hand, making a fake reprimanding face.

You turned to get back to your task, and your left side bumped into Wanda who was passing next to you with a saucepan. You winced in pain, moving quickly your arm away.

"Oh, gosh I'm sorry did I burned you?"

"No, no, it's ok you just startled me" you responded, giving her a fake smile. Tony was frowning, he had witnessed the scene, Wanda had barely brushed past your arm. Did you hurt yourself during training? But…no something was wrong, why lie? And you were wearing long sleeves although you've always preferred t-shirts…Then he understood and started to be worried. 'Shit is she ok?! How could I not notice it before!'

Still, he doesn't bring it in front of the others, he knows such thing is painful to talk about. The dinner was heavenly good, and it was nice to have Peter at home. Tony waited a quiet moment, you had decided to go to your bedroom, changed in pajama, and settled on your bed to read some reports. You heard a knock at your door, not expecting anyone you jumped out of your bed.

"Come in!" you said. It was Tony, he smiled sweetly and closed the door behind him, leaning against it, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hey…I just wanted to ask you, how are you doing? Is everything okay?" He asked in a concerned tone. At this moment you forgot that you were in pajama, wearing short sleeves, you tried to hide your arm behind your back but too late, he noticed it.

"I'm…perfectly fine Tony, don't worry." You answered in a hesitant tone without looking at him, avoiding his gaze.

"Ok, if you need to talk about anything, at any time, you know where to find me alright?"

You nodded, trying to smile still avoiding looking at him. Tony, came towards you slowly and kissed your forehead, then walked away to work in his workshop.

'Shit, so he found out? What am I going to do!' You were surprised how he had behaved, in the past you had been caught by some of your friends or even family and their reactions didn't help, saying you were crazy, grabbing your arm, threatening you if you did it again. You felt relieved that he didn't get mad at you. But what to do now? 'Can I speak to him about it? I don't know if he can help me…'

You probably spend an hour or two pondering whatever you should speak to him or not. The way he had approached you made you feel safe somehow, he looked open to discuss the subject with you. 'I just fear he'll look at me differently after this… But now that he had seen it, hiding it will probably make thing worse…'

"Friday, where is Tony?" you asked, decided to try.

"In its workshop Naia" answered the AI

"Thanks"

You looked at your scars, feeling ashamed, why was it so hard to resist this urge to pierce your skin? 'I want to stop, I want someone to help me, so it doesn't hurt anymore'. You took a trembling breath and got out of your bedroom, heading to the elevator. 'God, I hope I'm taking the right decision, if he rejects me…' To your taste, you arrived too quickly to your destination, 'where to start? What should I say?'

Entering the workshop, you tried to gather your thoughts and focus on the present moment. Tony was focused working on his nanotech reactor, his back facing you. You always enjoyed watching him work, you could stay for hours in his workshop, observe his hands working with precision, his face reflecting his thoughts, and listen to the sounds of the tools, Friday or just Tony talking out loud. You cared so much about him, you didn't want to lose him…

"Tony?" you said, your voice trembling. It took him a moment to get out of his thoughts. He turned, smiling sweetly.

"Hey Y/N" he took a few steps in your direction. Emotions were starting to surge back, you couldn't help but look on the sides, twitching your fingers, your lips trembling. What were you doing here!?

"Y/N it's alright, you're alright, tell me what's wrong honey I promise you I will do everything I can to help you I…

"I…I'm scared Tony…I don't want to lose you because of this!" you admitted, tears running down your cheeks, you felt weak, exposed, now you closed your eyes and just waited for the shouts to come. Instead, you felt warmth wrap all over you, his arms quickly came around you, holding you tightly. You gripped Tony's shirt, while your hard shell started to break down, everything you had kept inside you all these years, you let it all out, every word, gesture that has hurt you. Tony didn't leave, he continued to hold you, one hand on your waist, the other on the back of your head, caressing your hair soothingly, listening to what your heart bears.

You don't know how much time passed but you had stopped crying, you felt drained of your energy but at peace, nuzzling your nose in the crook of Tony's neck, listening to his heartbeat, breathing is scent.

"I'm proud of you Y/N, you are the bravest person I have met in a long time…" he whispered in your ear. You looked up, he was smiling fondly at you, his eyes shining with affection. He spoke softly.

"I'm here for you Y/N and I'll always be, your family and so-called friends might have ignored your emotions, well they are assholes, but I'm not one of them. You don't need to be ashamed of how you feel, you can trust me. I might be a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, but everyone out there sees me as someone I'm not, I…I lost my mom, I always did my best but also shit to get my father's attention, I live every single day with the fear of losing someone I care about. It's just I cope differently, by…drinking, working, over-working, not sleeping or eating or…Am I babbling again?" This made you chuckle.

"What I'm trying to say is that, self-harm doesn't make you a freak Y/N, there is nothing wrong with you, we can get through this, when you are ready." Tears in your eyes began to form again, Tony erased them with his thumb, you smiled, you felt so relieved and grateful to know him.

"I want to, Tony". You answered. A big grin formed his face, as he suggested:

"Even though I love cuddling with you, what do you think of getting some of those Avengers ice creams they're selling? I always wondered what I taste like!"