Such Cupidity
A/N: Beta'd by UberChimerism
Originally was on Deviantart.
Neji Hyūga was relaxing in his hospital bed, still recovering after that chimera of a fever dream he'd awoken from. He had just finished The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi, amused to note that the titular character shared the same name as a certain brash, blue-eyed blonde.
But he wouldn't have time to enjoy this similarity for long, for he sensed something quite rotten in the state of Konoha.
From out of nowhere, a reddish blur crashed through Neji's window with a mighty crash, unaffected by the shards of glass raining to the floor as he turned to look at the branded Hyūga. A chill ran through Neji, for standing in front of him, clad in nothing more than a loincloth and his quill of arrows, was that six-armed Sound freak he'd defeated…with a form even more fell than his Cursed Seal form. Skin of a sanguine hue; demonic horns and teeth; wings that made a mockery of occidental angels with the barbs hidden within their plumage…
Horrible, horrible!
Recovering from his shock, Neji regained his ability to speak. "W…what the hell are you doing here?! I killed you!"
Kidōmaru smirked. "Guess the cosmic gamer had other plans for me. You may have pwned me, pretty boy…but pwnage is comin' your way as well." When the Hyūga didn't respond, the spidery fiend continued. "I told you before: minor players like you are always disposable. And that's what the cosmic gamer plans for you. You're gonna get disposed…and it's not even for the main player's victory; it's so he can do your pretty little cousin!"
Neji grit his teeth. That again…
He reached into his quill, pulled out a crimson arrow with a heart-shaped head. Aimed it. "You're gonna lose the game, bud."
Byakugan blazing, Neji found the strength to jump out of his bed, forming his stance. He readied a Gentle Fist, charged at the arachnoid monstrosity…
…only to awake to the worried faces of Haruhi and the rest of his team.
"Another fever dream, Neji?"
The branded Hyūga sighed. "Yes. One that reiterated my previous fever dream, no less."
With furrowed brow, Haruhi made a note on her clipboard. Looked like that poison was more potent than expected; Lady Tsunade had to be informed.
At the bed, Lee, who had recently recovered from both his surgery and his fight against Kimimaro, placed a reassuring hand on the Branch Hyūga's shoulder. "Don't let this get your spirits down, Neji. My own prospects were gloomy for a while, but I made it through with my flame of youth burning brighter than ever! And so can you! Right, Gai-sensei?"
"That's right, my dear protégé! Don't let a fever dream or anything else smother your youthful flames, Neji!" Both green-clad enthusiasts flashed Neji their good guy poses, to which the Hyūga smiled and even gave a soft laugh.