Too Much of a Good Thing
Summary: Growing up as Anna is not easy. At the age of 18, she has the maturity and life experience of a 12 year old, and she is still struggling to discern the things that most teenagers start dealing with- family, experience, and love. When her sister is dying, though, she starts questioning herself, and all that she has ever known. How does one love? And can one love too much?
oOoOo
I love the summer. It's that one season where everything around you is perfect; the sound of bird calls, the feel of the grass, the smell of the flowers, the visual perfection, and the taste of sweet fragrance in the air all work together to create the most magnificent of landscapes. Summer in Arendelle, especially, is a beautiful time. The fjords surrounding our kingdom look particularly formidable, and the water shimmers in time to the wind. But, this summer is particularly special, because today is my sister's coronation.
I don't know my sister that well. We hardly ever see each other, although I know that we used to be really close when we were around 5 years old. I used to knock on her door and ask if she wanted to build a snowman, or come and play with me, but I never got much of an answer other than an occasional "Go away, Anna". These visits gradually decreased as I grew older, but I did go to see her when our parents died. Of course, she didn't say anything on the other side.
The great thing about my sister's coronation is that there will be people. Actual, real life people. I haven't seen many of those. My parents kept the palace gates closed for most of my life, only to be opened when some foreign dignitary decided to come to Arendelle. Other than the small staff that my father hired to take care of Elsa (my sister), and I, plus my parents and occasionally, their friends, I haven't actually had much human contact in my life. I read about them, of course, in books, but still, it would be nice to know what they would actually be like.
In books, I read about this thing where people would meet someone of the opposite gender whom they would give their life up for (although, I read this one novel where two guys liked each other; it was the sweetest thing). Each novel described it as an amazing feeling, called "being in love". It sounds absolutely amazing! Having a person who you can depend on wholeheartedly, without any regrets, and spend the rest of your life with them, although I sometimes got a little dubious over the power it holds over some people. The idea of true love, however, the idea of that one person who will make you fall head over heels has gotten me through several rough times in my life.
"Miss? The gates are opening."
An euphoric feeling bubbles up inside of me. It's the sort of feeling you get right before you know you're going to experience the most life-changing thing ever.
"Oh! Yes! Yes! Fina- I mean, I'll be right there." I replied to Kai.
Kai's been working for my family since the beginning of time. I have vague memories of him pushing me on a swing and taking me for walks in the palace gardens- never to go outside, though.
I rush through the gardens to the main gates; the one thing that separated me, and the rest of humanity. The staff pushed the gates open, and slowly, a tiny sliver of the outside world gradually grew bigger and wider, and suddenly, completely exposed as the gates spread wide apart.
There was so much life. Everywhere, from the tiniest ladybug I observed on a leaf to the hundreds of people throbbing like a gigantic, beating heart. The chatter and the noise was like foreign and mystical music to my ears.
For the first time in forever, I feel really, really small. As if I'm really inconsequential; just another human on this land. What am I, compared to these hundreds of people?
I make my way to the markets with a bounce in my steps. I'm getting odd looks from the people milling about; a redheaded girl in a ballgown, dancing on the handles of staircases, but I don't care. I've never felt more alive.
Boom!
I crashed right into a horse, which sent me flying back into a small canoe, which was just about to be tipped over before the horse realized it's mistake (smart little thing; how on earth did it know?) and stepped on the other end of the canoe to balance out the weight.
I lay there, dazed. Only a few minutes after I left the palace and my back already hurts from hitting the wood.
"I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
The novels that I read were so beautiful, but sometimes, I doubted their validity. They talked about people who were "put under a spell" as soon as they saw another person, which struck me as odd, given the fact that magic could not be real.
But nothing could describe the sort of feeling I had ride now. The rider of the horse; he was perfect. His large sideburns stuck out, but after a second, I decided that I liked them. The feeling that had come over me- I thought myself ridiculous and stupid, for a fraction of a second at first, but soon this warm, fuzzy feeling overtook me.
It's magic. It has to be.
He introduced himself as Hans, of the Southern Isles. Even his voice was perfect, and while that small voice at the back of my head reminded me that "nobody is perfect", I pushed it away.
"I'm Anna. Princess of Arendelle."
He promptly got on one knee, and that silly but incredibly smart horse of his followed suit, which caused Hans to fall onto me, on one side of the boat.
I have never been so embarrassed, and I don't think he has ever been, too, because as soon as the horse realized his mistake, he stepped on the other side of the boat so hard that Hans fell back, and I crashed on top of him.
"This is awkward, I mean, not that you're awkward, it's just that I-I'm awkward, wait, what?"
I'm so, so gawky. All those years spent inside the castle with nobody to actually talk to except for the pictures on the walls is really starting to catch up. It was decided. I don't know how to act in front of strangers.
He laughs as if he sees ungainly and clumsy people like me all the time, but I doubt it. He probably thinks I'm this weird redhead who just says whatever she thinks- which is true, but I don't want people to think that about me. Especially not people like Hans.
We stare at each other for a little bit, a million thoughts racing through my head. I feel so, so happy. Ecstatically happy.
Ding...dong...ding...dong…
I'm usually an observant girl. I smell everything (especially chocolate), hear everything, and see everything. But the sound of these bells that signified the coronation ceremony didn't fully register in my mind until a few seconds after.
"Oh no. The bells. I better go." I try walking backwards, but I hit a pole.
"Uh, I gotta go. I better go." I turn around and wave, before running off to the church, his face still vividly imprinted in my mind.
oOoOo
The whole ceremony was short. When I walked up the alleyway with my sister, I tried to catch her eye, but she seemed to be determined to look forward, to her brilliant future, and determined to keep her gaze off of me, her lonely past.
oOoOo
Elsa was a child.
She was 21, and still a child.
And now, at the turning point of her life as she walks up the alleyway towards her destiny beside the sister she so desperately wants to connect to, all she can think about is what will happen when she takes her gloves off.
"The gloves will help," her father had said.
That may be, she concluded as she bowed forward for the bishop to place the crown on her head. But it will never help me inside.
Even to herself, the thoughts sound so cliché, so overused, but she truly felt alone. She was a monster; capable of killing and hurting people.
"Your majesty, the gloves." The bishop reminded quietly.
Elsa was so, so scared.
This was possibly the defining moment of her life. In this moment, she can either freeze the entire church, or be accepted as Queen. Tentatively, she pulled off the gloves, a symbol of protection and secrecy for her, off.
And she waited.
She waited for the whole thing to be over.
oOoOo
The party has just started, but I'm a bit late. I run into the room, just as Kai is introducing my sister and I. Surprisingly, he picks me up and sets me down right next to my sister.
Suddenly, the temperature rose a bit. Just for me, though, I guess. My sister is so perfect, she probably never even blushed before.
"Hi."
My observant nature seemed to just have slipped out of the window today. I took a few seconds to realize that my sister, was talking to me.
"Hi..hi me? I mean, uh, hi!" There was a good silence after I replied.
"You look beautiful." Elsa commented.
"Oh! Thank you! You look beautifuller, not fuller, you don't look fuller, but more...beautiful." I reply almost too quickly. It's as if I'm desperate for her to keep on talking to me, which, I admit, I am. This is possibly the longest conversation we have sustained in, what, ten years?
"So, this is what a party looks like." Elsa said.
"It's warmer than I thought." I blurted out, before realizing how awkward that must sound. It's warmer than I thought. Who says that? Why am I so bad at controlling my mouth?
Elsa, however, being that perfect sister she was, ignored my very awkward reply. "And what's that amazing smell?"
We both took in a big breath of scents; there was the smell of strawberries, expensive perfume, and…
"Chocolate!" We both exclaim, before lapsing off into giggles. After that bout finished, though, we were left once again with looking awkwardly at each other.
We parted ways after that. There were simply too many people asking for my sister's hand in dance, but she politely declined them all.
Even though I would never admit this to anyone, I would glance over at my sister from time to time, just to see how she was doing. She was currently deep in conversation with some foreign prince, and I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. She probably said more that one guy in five minutes more than she ever said to me in my whole life, and I'm her sister!
Sending glares to the guy's back, I turn around and bump right into Hans.
"Now, who are you trying to kill today?" He joked, and I almost wanted to laugh because he was the one who told it, but to be honest, it really wasn't funny.
"You?" I half asked that reply, but he seemed to find it funny anyways. Secretly pleased with myself, I take his hand and take him for a tour of the castle.
We talked for the entire evening. I found out that he had 12 older brothers who constantly made fun of him; two even pretended he was invisible for 2 years, which, admittedly, sounds a bit like my situation with Elsa.
I still hold on to my original opinion of Hans; he was, and still is perfect. We went sock-sliding in the halls, and even went onto the roof of the castle, and watched a meteor shower. I've never met someone who thinks so much like me. Ever.
"Will you marry me?"
My brain froze, and every part of my body stopped working except for my mouth.
"Yes."
oOoOo
Elsa was very, very bored. Part of her just wanted to send all the guests away; especially that obnoxious prince who wouldn't stop talking about how wealthy and industrious his own kingdom was.
Occasionally, she glanced around the room for Anna, but she couldn't find her, and she couldn't help but feel worried. Not that she had a right to. She doesn't have any right to be nice to Anna, or worry for her. Nothing that a normal sister has the right to do for their younger siblings.
"Elsa! I mean, Queen." Anna called from behind her.
Elsa turned around. Her sister was holding hands with a man with red hair, and obnoxiously large sideburns which, in Elsa's opinion, took away from his overall visage.
"We would like-"
"Your hand-"
"Your blessing-"
They stumbled around like this for a while, leaving Elsa more and more confused to what in the world Anna wanted that would cause her to dance from one word to another without even finishing the first.
"In marriage!" The finally finished that ridiculously long sentence.
In marriage?
"Wait, what?" She blurted out, but to no avail. The "couple" were already talking about some 12 brothers and ice cream.
"Stop! No brothers are staying here, and no one is getting married." Elsa tried hard not to scream in frustration.
Elsa always had a hard time connecting to people- especially people in love. She, herself, never understood the concept. People falling heads over heels for each other? Such things just didn't exist, and the stupid things that people did while they were in love only discouraged her from believing that such a feeling existed. There's just too much risk to "loving" someone so much that you would even tell them their deepest secrets. What if they betrayed you?
No, Elsa liked real things. She read about geography, science, and politics. Books that her father wanted her to read. Books that wouldn't remind her of how inhuman and abnormal she was.
"Wait, what?" Anna's hurt voice was like an arrow, and it just pierced a balloon filled with tension, which settled over the two sisters.
"You can't marry a man you just met." Elsa said matter-of-factly.
"You can if it's true love." Anna replied stubbornly, still clinging onto that ridiculously-large sideburned guy.
There it was. That word again. "Love". But this time, with the word "true" added in front to it. What's the difference to between "love" and "true love"? Does that imply that love is fake?
"Anna, what do you know of true love?" Elsa replied, exasperated.
"More than you!" She shot back, narrowing her eyes. "All you know how to do is shut people out!".
There it was. Anna fired another arrow, and instead of hitting a tension balloon, it hit Elsa's heart. Everything that she had ever worked for; everything she had ever done in her life suddenly collapsed.
Her first thought was to deny it.
After every lie you tell yourself, there is always that point where you realize that you have been fooling yourself all along, and that you wasted your time trying to do one thing that obviously had no effect.
Elsa just reached this point.
She had spent her entire life shutting her sister out. To protect her, she added stubbornly, but shutting her out nevertheless. And what for? Her own sister hates her. Hell, she even hates herself. Everybody probably thinks she's a sociopath who can't handle human contact- hardly fit qualities for a Queen.
The ice that circulated her veins moved faster and faster. Originally, the ice formed on the outermost veins, but as it moved out of control, they began freezing closer and closer, to the heart.
Her brain in overdrive as the consequences 16 years of actions crashed down upon her. Her body was freezing up.
And then it all stopped.
It only takes one swipe to kill a man.
It only takes one touch to freeze a heart.
A.N. You might be wondering why I wrote Elsa in 3rd person, and Anna in 1st person. I actually plan on changing Elsa from 3rd to 1st, as a sort of symbolic way of showing that she has melted her fears, and we get to see who she really is. I'm really, really dissatisfied with this right now. Please review, and give some constructive feedback! Authors don't like when they say reviews keep them going. By the way, the lines taken from the movie are not supposed to be verbatim (word for word). If they are, great! If they aren't, well, that's not the point. :P