Deimos stared at the clock that hung on the wall.
Tapping his fingers against the wooden table as his pacing kept getting faster and faster, more uneven. He bit his lip tightly.
8:30 PM.
Come on. Just a little more. It was practically almost time already. His patience was wearing thin, more focused on the clock more than anything he had ever focused on before.
Any minute now. He squint his eyes, unaware that he was holding his breath.
The clock ticked.
8:31 PM.
Deimos groaned loudly as he dropped his head into the table, hands gripping his hair tightly.
Sanford sighed. "Deimos, turning thirty isn't that big of a deal, calm down."
As if all frustration suddenly disappeared, Deimos shot up from the table, shooting Sanford an angry look. "Easy for you to say! You're already in your thirties." He was pouting just like a child.
It was true, Deimos could very clearly remember celebrating Sanford's thirtieth birthday not too long ago, although the two were relatively the same age, Sanford has always been a few years older than him.
Deimos was the youngest in their group, but he always tried to prove himself and didn't appreciate being babied, much to his dismay of being constantly called 'kid' by anyone older than him.
All of that was going to change very soon, however. Turning twenty-nine really made him realize that he was getting older, like, really old. He had teased Sanford so many times about being the oldest in their group, yet he was going to join that very, very soon. Needless to say, he was kind of upset about it.
Okay, maybe really 'full blown freaking out' was a better phrase for it.
"It's really not that different from turning twenty when you're nineteen for the first time." Sanford was sitting across from him, glancing over a magazine article, but it was nothing that Deimos could see from where he was sitting.
The former just pressed his elbow against the table, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "It is so different. I'm not just becoming an adult, I'm becoming an adult-adult all over again."
"Is that what this is about?" Sanford fully looked over at him now, curiosity lingering in his question. "That you're afraid of becoming an adult, even now?"
"No! Of course not, I'm a grown ass man, I just…" Deimos fumbled with his words, awkwardly looking down at the table where he was anxiously pulling at his own sleeve. "It's so, mature, you know?" He had to resist the urge to bite at his own nails from how nervous he was getting. He stole another glance at the clock.
"I'm pretty sure you never matured, Deimos."
"Ay, I'm plenty mature, a guy just isn't super-serious all the time, San."
Sanford just rolled his eyes. "Well, if it makes you feel better, me and Hank aren't planning on doing anything super big, so don't feel like there's some big pressure. We're just going to go out drinking and get something to eat."
At this, Deimos just groaned softly as he sat back in his chair, resisting yet another urge to kick his legs up on the table, so many scoldings from Sanford had taught him many times that it was a bad idea. If only he was in his room, his computer chair was so much more comfortable then any of the chairs in their kitchen. All wooden and cushion-y surfaces.
He knew Sanford was trying to make him feel better, but he wasn't a great source of comfort. Then again, neither was Hank. They were both pretty apathetic, Sanford being the one inbetween them who was a lot nicer,- at least, sometimes.
Although he did want to be taken more seriously in their group, he had gotten used to being the young and adventurous one, and he knew that know that he was reaching a certain age that the goofy and comedic ways needed to be taken down a notch. As immature and childish as it sounded, he always thought that getting older was just life getting less fun and having more responsibilities.
The other bad thing was that he wasn't going to age physically.
One of the downfalls, or, 'perks' of dying is that it fucks with your growth, making you stunted in some places. Sure, he'd change, his hair would probably grey eventually and he'd get more dark bags under his eyes, but he'd probably look babyfaced like this for the rest of his life.
Unfair. When Deimos was younger he had dreams of being an awesome, mystical old guy who has a cool beard and screams at people from his self-made fortress that was entirely controlled by his computer. None of those teens in his front yard were going to take him seriously if they thought he was still a fucking teenager. Fuck you, genetics.
"Are you sure the bar is even gonna let me in," Deimos droned quietly.
"That was at least a few months ago, it was one place that asked to see your ID, we all needed to show them." Sanford flipped the page of the magazine.
Deimos slowly cocked his head over to him, expression blank with his eyebrows knitted downwards. "and the girl at the liquor store that one time was just, what, being nice?"
Another quiet, exasperated sigh left Sanford.
"You should be lucky you look as young as you do." Sanford brushed some of his hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear.
"I'm not grateful for it. Though, I get the feeling that if you told any beauty guru that the secret to looking young forever was a trip to hell, we'd be getting some very interesting news headlines." Deimos smirked.
For the flash of a second, Sanford's mouth nearly drew into a smile before he coughed, scratching at his cheek. "That's awful." He muttered, clearly amused.
Just at that moment, the two heard distant footsteps, causing Deimos to sit upright in his chair as the two glanced at the hallway leading to the kitchen. Hank stepped in, quiet as ever, making his way to the fridge.
"Hey Hank," Deimos said as he watched him open the fridge doors, feeling the cold air brush him for a moment. "whad'ya do when you turned thirty?"
After a minute, the door closed, and Hank stood there staring at the fridge in total silence, holding two beers in either hand, then turned around and stared at Deimos. "I don't remember." He said, actually sounding a bit confused himself.
Sanford cocked his head up, looking at the other. "You don't remember your thirtieth birthday?"
"Listen," Hank stepped closer to Deimos, standing in front of him. "I went through a lot of purgatory shit, trying to map out where secret headbases where, getting my information from benevolent Gods that gave me vague answers, trying and failing to kill the Sheriff of a city that was doing an entire cover-up operation to disguise their cloning and murder operations, all while a clown that I'm half convinced was a spawn of satan was trying to actively kill me." The beer bottle can popped open, and Hank took a swig from it. "I lost track of time."
"Understandable, have a nice day." Deimos took the other beer from Hank's hand, and Sanford cocked an eyebrow at the two of them.
"Are you two forgetting we're already going to go drinking tomorrow?" Sanford asked.
Lowering the bottle from his lips, Hank paused to look at Sanford. "...why are we going out tomorrow?"
A look of disbelief crossed Sanford's face, as he glanced over at Deimos, who had a similar expression of confusion, and he looked back at Hank, actually a little offended for him. "Because it's Deimos' birthday?" He tried, sounding stunned. "Tomorrow?" His tone actively grew more frustrated. "I've reminded you like, three times?"
Finally, it all clicked in Hank's mind. "Ooooh, yeah, riiight. Birthday boy." Hank muttered the last part, looking over at Deimos. "Don't worry, I did remember to get you a present."
"Was it the beer?" Deimos snickered as he took a swig from it.
"It's, my, beer,-" Sanford quietly added.
"No, it's something that you're going to like. I'm pretty sure." Hank turned heel as he made his way back to the hallway. "You're lucky that Sanford never shuts up about you, because otherwise I'd never be able to figure it out on my own." He added as he made his way into the hallway, disappearing out of view all together.
Hearing this, Sanford instantly sputtered, face red as he closed the magazine in the heat of the moment. "Wh-I don't-shut up, that's not true!"
"Purgatory," Was all Hank added before his footsteps slowly grew more and more distant.
Silence filled the room, Sanford was still staring at the hallway entrance, already feeling Deimos' stare against him without even looking at him. He could also sense the shit-eating grin that was probably plastered across his face.
Sanford, at that moment, was thankful he couldn't express himself through facial expressions that well, otherwise the embarrassment might've been fully realized right about now.
Deimos' voice came out soft and smug. "Why, Sanford, I'm so very flattered."
His compsore dropped on the spot, he angrily twisted his face back at Deimos. "He was just teasing."
"But it's true, riiight?" Deimos was finally feeling a little better, if not amused.
He could feel himself gritting his teeth. Somehow, during all this time, Deimos was still the same little sarcastic shit he had been since their AAHW days. Even after going through hell itself, he still found the time to make dumb jokes.
"You are the only other person in my life, besides Hank." Sanford cleared his throat silently. "Of course I talk about you. You're my best friend."
A loud, high pitched gasp instantly came from Deimos, as he placed a hand on his chest. "He finally says it aloud."
"I've said it aloud plenty of times, you little-"
"Oh I can practically hear the church bells already!"
"Deimos."
Deimos finally exploded into laughter as he slapped his own knee, hunching over in his chair, with the other bitterly staring at him, clearly unamused.
Okay, it didn't matter how old he got, he was always going to be hilarious, is what he finally decided. If the internet died in a few years, at least he could have a career in being a comedian. He would always have the stool with the little glass of water on it, he could see it now.
At least making Sanford angry temporarily distracted him from his growing anxiety.
It was getting to that time of the year where it got late really early.
Like, way too early for Deimos' comfort.
Being the kind of person who stayed up past twelve, he didn't really care that much, but time changing really made him feel weird. Although it happened pretty often, his brain still hadn't exactly grasped the whole 'time' thing.
He had his face pressed up against the window of the restaurant like he was a grumpy teenager who was forced to have dinner in a fancy place with their grandparents and parents, much to their preference of just staying home and playing video games.
Luckily, his grandparents died a long time ago before he was even old enough to register that he had grandparents in the first place, but he heard about that sort of thing from his peers.
God, it was so much easier when he was a kid. Birthdays were a lot more fun back then, his mom actually put the extra effort to take him somewhere fun and just let him spend time with people his own age, sure, dad wouldn't actually participate or even come sometimes himself, but that was okay.
It was so much fun being in those kid-themed places with the arcades and indoor funhouses with live entertainment and all the cheesy, probably overpriced pizza a kid could want.
Now he was an adult. There were no balloons, or big cake, or crowds of kids, or even any fucking family to spend time with or give him presents.
Mostly because any resemblance of family he did have was probably dead by now. He had made his peace with it now, but every birthday, or mother's and father's day, he couldn't help but dwell on it all.
He heard Sanford sit back down at their table from across him as he held three different menus. Hank was still in the bathroom. "Here's your menu." He said, handing him the menu from over the table, where Deimos accepted, giving it a glance for a moment.
"Man, sure wish Gil didn't die and turn into an undead freak that we had to kill." He said, not exactly enjoying the incredibly ordinary choices he was given on the menu. "Now that's a restaurant that goes all out when it's your birthday."
"Well, there was nothing we could do." Sanford replied very casually as he examined over his choices.
Deimos, frankly, was a little surprised by that response. "What, no telling me that his food was so high in fat that it probably would've killed me?"
"Trying to be nice." Sanford looked on the back of the menu, eyeing to see what desserts they had. "It is your birthday, after all."
"I'm touched." Deimos replied curtly as he looked over the menu.
Just then, a girl with her brunette hair tied back into a ponytail, who was wearing a waiter uniform approached them, a pitcher full of water in one hand, causing the two to cock their heads and meet her friendly gaze.
"Hello there sirs, thank you for choosing us to have your dinner tonight! Would you like a drink before you two begin?" Her tone and energy was so sickeningly sweet and energetic, Deimos could tell she was probably getting paid a lot to be this nice.
"Ah, our friend is still in the bathroom, but," Sanford spared a glance at the menu. "I'll take the iced tea, please." He tried to sound as polite as he could, normally around strangers Sanford had a hard time making himself sound friendly and not overly intimidating. Old habits die hard.
She nodded briskly, and turned her attention towards Deimos, who was still sulking. "Pepsi. It's my birthday, so I don't wanna get too wild." He smiled, pleasantly, despite his mood.
As he said this, she instantly beamed with a small noise of excitement. "Oh happy birthday, sir! How old are you turning?"
The cheerful tone in Deimos' voice died a little. "Thirty."
"Woooow," She almost sounded mockingly amazed. "You barely look like you're out of college, good for you." A bubbly giggle escaped her. "I'll be right back with your drinks."
Deimos laughed with her, it slowly stopped as she made her way across the restaurant, and then it stopped all together, smile still stuck on his face.
He was still staring where she had left, then quietly muttered. "God, the pay must be amazing, cause women never laugh when you tell them you're thirty."
Sanford rolled his eyes. "She was being nice."
"Listen, I prefer it when the waiters are nice, but jesus, think you might wanna tone it down." Deimos went back to looking at his menu as Sanford placed his back on the edge of the table.
Before Sanford could get the chance to retort, Hank had finally turned to their table, taking his seat next to Sanford who had to scoot up against the wall.
"Took you long enough." Sanford said, a bit irritated. "What, were you just standing in front of the mirror and dissociating?"
"Yeah," Hank clearly wasn't listening as he reached for his own menu. "did the waiter come by already?"
"Yup." Deimos answered.
"What's the read on them, I want to mentally prepare myself."
"It's one of those restaurants where the waiters are so nice you're left wondering if they're going to drop to their knees and suck you."
"Deimos!" Sanford's tone had taken on that chastising pitch that Deimos had become well aware of, and quickly backed down, lowering his head.
Hank, however, just nodded in understanding as he glanced over the menu.
Seemingly on time, the waiter returned to their table, holding a tray with two different glasses, and something else that was seated just behind them. She placed the respective drinks to both Sanford and Deimos, and then just as it came into view, she set a plate with a small slice of cake in front of Deimos.
It had pink frosting and seemed to be lemon-flavored.
She chirped gleefully. "Happy birthday again, it's on the house."
Deimos was trying to smile the best he could, but he felt like he was mentally on the verge of crumbling. "Thank you." His tone robotic and hollow.
All things considered, it was a very warm night.
The sky was a contrast between dark blue and black, the stars painting the sky as the moon was shining, fully bright and illuminating the sky, there was barely a cloud in the dark sky, making it almost the picture-perfect night to a day that had been so ordinary, it didn't deserve such a beautiful sight.
It had been a very ordinary day, hadn't it.
Just like Deimos' thoughts drifted back to the restaurant, when he came to the same conclusion that birthdays just didn't hold the same excitement as they did when he was a child.
Wasn't there a time in his life where this was supposed to be one of the most exciting times of the year, next to Christmas? When did everything start becoming more bleak and less fun as time went by?
One couldn't help but feel bitter on their own birthday. Deimos was thirty damn years old, and Sanford was right about one thing. He felt exactly the same. Looked exactly the same as he did a week ago, too.
The three had done a quick visit to the bar before ending their night in an abandoned parking lot. There was a very much broken down factory that still stood near the edge of the parking lot, whatever it made, they weren't too sure. The history of the place didn't interest them as much as a parking lot with no other cars so they could spend some alone time.
They all sat in their truck, Deimos and Sanford sitting in the back, overtaking the night sky and surveying the stars, while Hank sat inside of the car, distant music coming from the radio. Some shitty, melodramatic country song about being in love, or something. He wasn't listening to the lyrics, he was just glad there was some background sound, because the crickets chirped pretty damn loudly at night.
The night air brushed his hair to the side, the small string of hair making him itch as he absentmindedly reached up to scratch his cheek.
For once, Sanford broke the silence. "That's my jacket, right?"
That at least broke him out of his hollow trance as Deimos blinked, looking down to the jacket in question. It was a red plaid, and it was a little worn out in some places, a little tearing here and there, but it was alright. "Oh, yeah, it is." He cocked his head over to meet Sanford's gaze. "You want it back or something, it's not that cold, anyway."
"No," Sanford quietly surveyed how his jacket looked on Deimos. "I always thought it looked...better on you. A little big, but, still."
A lopsided grin took Deimos' otherwise empty expression. "Is that your gift to me, your old jacket that I pretty much co-own because of how much I borrow it?"
Sanford snickered, just this once. He opened his mouth to speak again, and then-
Hank suddenly shot out the side of the car window, blowing into a noisemaker and breaking open a confetti popper.
It was so sudden that Deimos screamed and clutched the side of his chest where his heart was currently trying to escape from, and Sanford gazed back, eyes wide at the sudden noise, then it drew into an angry expression.
"Happy birthday, you funny little bastard." Despite the loud noise that it made, Hank's voice was emotionless as ever. The car door opened as Hank stepped out of the truck, Deimos trying to regain his breath.
"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!?" Deimos shouted, feeling his pulse start to slow. "AGAIN!?"
"No, but it's gift time." Hank pulled a small bag from the car's dashboard, hoisting himself onto the back of the truck.
"Jesus Christ, Hank." Sanford quietly muttered.
"He better not be here."
Just as Deimos had finally calmed down, he dusted himself off as Hank approached him, holding the bag out to him.
In response to nearly being killed via noisemaker and confetti bomb, Deimos eagerly snatched the bag from Hank's hands. The latter made no change to his blank expression.
Deimos dug through the back, fingers gripping onto a small retacular box, he pulled it out from the bag itself, then his face went from anger to shock, then to happiness pretty quickly.
It was a USB microphone, a rather small one, but it was still highly expensive, not that the price tag was still attached to it, of course, but Deimos knew just how expensive it was from how many times he had seen it online. He had told Sanford several times that he was tired of using the microphone that was attached onto his headphones, and knew straight away that Sanford must've told Hank to buy it for him.
But who cares who bought what when he had such a cool microphone now. "Holy shit," He said as he glanced over in awe. "Now I can finally start that podcast where I analyze niche Youtube videos frame by frame for twelve hours." He glanced back up at Hank, a genuine smile on his face. "Thanks, Hank, I really appreciate it."
"You're welcome." Hank patted him on the shoulder. "I know I'm hard on you, but I just wanted to say that you're probably the funniest guy I've ever met."
"That's not much of a competition, but, thank you." Deimos snickered.
Pulling his hand back, Hank nodded briskly. "Well, I have to go now, nerds," He said as he hopped out of the car, landing on the pavement with much ease, then dug around in the inside of the truck again, the song from inside slowly coming to its end.
Sanford looked over in confusion. "You're just going to walk home?" He surveyed their surroundings for a moment. "It's night."
"Nah, Deimos showed me how to do that whole, oh-ber thing." He pulled his phone out from the car and stuck it into his coat pocket.
"Uber, Hank." Deimos corrected.
"That too." He slammed the car door shut, turning heel as he started to jog across the parking lot. "See you back at the house!" He called out, waving to the two as he headed towards the road.
The two silently waved back at him, saying their goodbyes.
When Hank was completely gone, the two spared each other a glance before Deimos sat back down in the truck. A moment passed before Sanford soon sat down next to him.
"I told you that your birthday wouldn't be so bad." Sanford sat back against the car, looking up at the sky.
"Yeah, that waiter was just a minor stub, but, it's actually been a pretty nice day." Deimos cupped his cheek, looking at his own sneakers knock together. "I've been thinking about it, and, you know what?"
"Hm?"
"I'm actually glad today wasn't like, a huge big deal." He stopped moving for a second, raising a hand to gesture towards. "I kept thinking about how birthdays suck when you're older, but I really don't want anyone to crowd around me everytime I age. Just going out and chilling while the sun goes down is fine with me."
"Well, I'm glad you came to the conclusion, Deimos." Sanford cleared his throat, quietly. "Getting older isn't a big deal." He silently moved closed to the other, careful not to make too much noise.
Deimos nodded in agreement. "Yup, as long as I don't age again after this, I think I'll be totally mentally stable."
The two laughed weakly at his joke.
Another brief pause before Sanford moved closer. "You know, you don't have to be scared of getting older, you won't be doing it alone."
"I know, it's just a pain in the ass."
"Deimos," Hearing his name said in that tone of voice, Deimos cocked his gaze over to Sanford, and met his eyes. Deimos had been joking this whole time, but now, Sanford looked serious. It scared Deimos, just a little bit, but he listened regardless.
"I really do mean that, I'm not going to be leaving anytime soon, and I want you to know that…" He trailed off for a moment, making a slight noise before making himself to continue. "You are one of the best things that ever happened to me."
Deimos faltered slightly, not expecting him to say this, and sat up in the truck a little, then felt a hand on his shoulder. Deimos met Sanford's gaze again. "You're pretty great too, San, I, uh," Deimos scratched the back of his head. "I really appreciate that."
It was no lie, Sanford rarely said something like that just out of niceness. Sanford had a hard time saying it, and that's how Deimos knew it was genuine; because Sanford struggled to actually say it.
The song on the radio stopped and the only thing that could be heard now was the gentle humming of the truck, along with the ambiance of the night.
They both weren't good at this. It was hard for either of them to express themselves after dealing with so much pain in their lives, Deimos could laugh and tell a joke, and Sanford could be the strong type, but neither of them had really figured themselves out, emotionally.
What they did know, however, was that both meant the world to the other, and nothing could ever change that. Not even death, it seemed, could keep them apart.
Deimos glanced at Sanford's hand for a minute as he gently raised it to his own face. "Deimos, you…" Sanford's voice was quieter now, a softer approach to his words. "You still have some frosting on your face."
In surprise, Deimos blinked as he touched his own face, wiping absentmindedly at his cheek. "Jeez, ya could've told me earlier, did I get it?" He kept rubbing at his cheek, only to be stopped by Sanford taking his hand and pulling it away.
Sanford reached up to Deimos' face as he pressed a thumb against the corner of Deimos' cheek. "No, it's…" He leaned in, closer. "It's right here."
The two met eyes for only a second, as Deimos felt Sanford against his face, kissing him unexpectedly. He blinked once, then twice, as his mind struggled to comprehend what was happening.
It started out very soft, like a gentle brush against his lips, as Deimos felt his face slowly get hotter as it all just started to very come clear in his mind, he slowly accepted it. His heart starting to pick up now, and he awkwardly hover-handed Sanford before mentally saying ah, fuck it, and wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
The two held each other as the kiss deepened more, Sanford tangled his hands around in Deimos' soft, blonde hair. Deimos could already tell this was something that he had been wanting to do for a very long time.
When the two broke away, they quietly breathed, hands still holding one another as the crickets chirped even louder in the distance.
A realization hit Deimos, as his eyes flickered back from Sanford's eyes to his lips. "You told Hank ahead of time to leave early," He mumbled. "didn't you?"
"Maybe." Sanford whispered back in response.
Deimos brushed a lock of Sanford's hair from his face. "This isn't the gift, right?"
Finally, Sanford broke from the moment, seriousness leaving him as he chuckled slightly. "It's in the car, you dork." He tried to sit up. "I can go get it if you-"
But, Deimos grabbed at his arm, tugging him back down next to him. "That can wait."
The gesture made Sanford fluster just the slightest, smile fading. "Oh." Deimos wrapped his arms around Sanford's shoulders again, hands tangling in his long, slightly messy hair. "Oh."
With that, they started kissing again, a different song from the radio started playing, drowning out the sounds of their quiet hums.