A/N

FES is a play on "Fez" from "That '70s Show"

The first line in the chapter is Cloud's version of "Cherry Bomb" by The Runaways. BTW, I didn't start listening to them until I watched the movie but I almost wish I hadn't. I'll never look at Kristen Stewart the same way again and I have developed an almost unhealthy attraction to Joan Jett.

Other lyrics, "Toxic" by Britney Spears.

And I always forget to mention, I don't own FF7. This is a work of fiction by a fan intended solely for entertainment. I do not profit from this in any way.

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"Hello world I'm your wild girl - I'm your cl cl cl cl cl Cloud bomb!"

Well, alright...some would argue that I'm not a girl. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. I guess I suffer from like, Gender Identity Disorder or something. Either that or I'm just gayer than Richard Simmons on ecstasy doing an infomercial for that hair-curler thing.

Point is, I have a penis and probably shouldn't.

My last name is Strife and I like it. I just turned 17, I'm a Leo, and my favorite color is Red. I like animals, singing, dancing, make-up, long walks through the mall – all the typical stuff.

I never met my dad and I'm an only child, which kind of sucks for my mom. She always wanted more kids but she's got woman issues. I feel really bad that the only kid she was able to produce won't be filling her house with grandbabies any time soon. I mean, even if I was able to adopt or some shit, why would I?

I don't understand people. Having to raise a kid of your own is bad enough. Then they turn around and practically beg to go through it all over again? And the second time around could only be worse! At least your own kids caught you with some youth, but grandkids, they invade your life when you're all feeble and sickly. If I had kids, I'd be counting down the days 'til they turn 18 so I could tell them to get the fuck out of my house! Go suck someone else dry!

I kind of wish I did have a brother, no, a sister. A brother would probably just shove me around and degrade me like most other males do. In fact, the ones that don't are usually just trying to get into my pants, and not just the fags either! I've had my fair share of heteros try to defile me.

Guess I can't blame them. I am pretty cute. I'm blonde, blue-eyed, and slim. Perhaps, a little on the short side compared to most guys but it doesn't bother me. I like being small. Makes it easier for some big, sexy beast to come scoop me up, throw me over his shoulder, and have his filthy way with me.

I have got to stop reading Danielle Steele.

Anyway, back to the sibling thing. Life gets lonely sometimes. I have a few friends but they have lives, or so they say. I need attention. Not that I'm all needy and annoying or anything, I just...I don't know. Maybe if I had a boyfriend...yeah, that's probably not going to happen anytime soon. Fags around here should be ashamed of themselves. They're all eager to stick it in your ass and call you baby but don't try and get them to hold your hand in public!

"But...but, what if somebody sees us!"

Yeah...

I guess I'm not one to talk. My mom has had a really hard time accepting me for the flamer I am, so I try not to expose too much of my "lifestyle" to her. Do you see? How utterly fucking alone I am? I can't even be open with my own mother! Not that I think she should know about everything that goes on with me, but I'd really like it if just once, I could tell her about my crush at school or do her make-up...something, anything! My god, why have you forsaken me?

Whatever. I'm tired of beating a dead horse.

Maybe this foreign kid my mom decided to host will be cool. I don't know much about him. I know he's coming from up north – way north, like the mountains or some shit. Country people are usually really nice! Most people say they're backwards or small-minded but I have to disagree. One of my few friends, Zack, is from the country and he's one of the nicest, most tolerant, most accepting people I know. He's totally straight but sees nothing wrong with sitting with me at lunch or letting me ride on the handlebars of his bike when I don't feel like walking from school. His girlfriend, Aerith, is a very lucky girl and nice too. She's from Midgar like me, though.

So, it is with open arms that I welcome this foreign kid. Wait, foreign kid sounds kind of mean. We'll call him "FES" for now. Where was FES anyway? My mom left to pick him up hours ago. I hope his flight didn't get delayed, it's a long one as it is. Well, no sense sitting around here waiting. I should probably clean up.

I looked around my room, feeling pretty satisfied with its overall cleanliness. All I really needed to do was put a few things away, maybe dust a little here, a little there. I went to my laptop and opened up my media player, choosing a custom playlist cleverly entitled, "It's Britney Bitch" for the occasion.

The tunes effectively lit a fire under my ass and I was instantly off and twirling around my room, doing seemingly mundane tasks with such flair, Rhianna would be jealous! I don't know how some people can say that they're not all that into music. If I had to pick between music or jacking off, I'd definitely pick music. Ok, I definitely just lied but oh shit! This is my song girlfriend! I cranked up the volume and sexily slithered over to my full-length mirror.

...Baby, can't you see...

...I'm calling...

...A guy like you...

...Should wear a warning...

...It's dangerous...

...I'm fallin'...

I practiced the well known choreography in the mirror, loving myself a little more with every step. I had on a pair of tight black jeans and my equally tight purple "Blondes Do It Better" shirt. Of course we do.

...With a taste of your lips...

...I'm on a ride...

...You're toxic I'm slipping under...

...With a taste of a poison paradise...

...I'm addicted to you...

"Cloud?"

...Don't you know that you're toxic...

"Cloud!"

...And I love what you do...

...Don't you know that you're toxic...

"God dammit, Cloud! We have company!"

I swung around to face the doorway, heart racing, and flashed my mom "a look" – bitch almost gave me a heart attack! But she didn't hold my attention for long.

Leaning against the doorway next to her was the boy I presumed to be "FES". One of my first thoughts was, when they said up north, did the mean like, out of this world?

He was slim and tall, really fucking tall, like six feet and insanely pale. His eyes were this green I'd never seen before and so much like a cat's, I thought they were contacts. You wouldn't believe me about his hair if you didn't see it in person. It was the color of the moon as we see it and straight and thick and reached way past his ass from what I could tell. And his lips, oh..my..lord his lips, they weren't DSLs by any means, they...stood in a class of their own. I never realized how grossly misused the word "beautiful" was 'til I saw him. He was a fucking vision, made all the more striking by the head to toe black he wore.

"Cloud, this is your new best buddy, Sephiroth Crescent, here all the way from, how do you say it honey?" she turned to him and asked.

"Nibelheim." his voice was so fucking masculine it made me want to put on a schoolgirl outfit and hand him a ruler.

"From there." my mom informed me with a smile. Claudine Strife was one of those dumb blonds so afraid of being called a dumb blond that she'd stop at nothing to seem smart. It was like watching a train wreck.

"Hi, I..I'm Cloud..from here." seems I'm not much brighter.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you for your hospitality." he said with a nod.

"Um, it's not really my house." was all I could fucking say. Did I really just say that?

"Cloud, for Pete's sake, he's just trying to be nice!" thanks, mom.

"Sorry, I..guess I meant, there's no need to thank me?"

My mom beamed at that and bent down to pick up Sephiroth's...oh my god, just saying his name gave me goosebumps...stuff but he was all over her in a heartbeat.

"Ma'am, please don't. Allow me." he said.

"Such a gentleman! Where were you when I was a teen?" my mom is such a slut.

I watched him follow her into the room across from mine, picking a bag up that looked to weigh over a hundred pounds like it was nothing. Good lord, he's strong too – and his ass was phenomenal. He had to be straight.

I felt my heart break into a million pieces and simultaneously wondered just how much that sex change operation cost. I can't go on through life knowing men like FES exist in remote parts of the world and that I'll never be able to know what it's like to bump uglies with them!

They came back to the room to find me exactly where they left me. I'm such a loser.

My mom sort of pushed him into my room and said to us, "Alright, dears, I have a few things to take care of. You two get to know each other, ok? Sephiroth, if you're tired, just lay down. We'll wake you up for dinner, don't worry."

"Thank you, Claudine." apparently the slut and my man were on a first name basis now.

As I watched her walk away, I shook both notions. My mom is not a slut and he is not my man. Won't ever be. I'm not stupid enough to even try to get him to switch teams. The best I could hope for is one of those really tragic, bittersweet friendships.

He cleared his throat, snapping me out of my inner emo-fit and drawing my attention back to him. I smiled shakily and said "So..." to which he responded by crossing his arms in front of his chest and cocking his head to the side with a "So..." of his own.

Lord, have mercy.