Chapter 1: Loss

"John."

This shouldn't be happening.

"John."

This isn't happening.

"JOHN."

This CAN'T be happening.

I try to lead John away from the bedside but it's too late, he's gone berserk.

"Open your eyes, please…!" He's begging now, his voice bouncing off the cold, enclosed walls of this pre-death prison. "Please… please, we need you, I need you…"

It's hard to watch. I try to close my eyes but my ears betray me as I hear John's tears fall to the tile floor. Plip… plip plip.
One by one in an almost sadistic kind of rhythm.

"John, stop." I say. "She's gone."

It seems to hit him for the first time that the ivy haired girl in front of him is no more; just a cold phantom without a soul.
I see his eyes widen then dull. A dark cloud seems to cover him, and an icy veil shields his eyes from his disbelief.

"Why." he mumbles. "Why does this happen…? Why to her?" he looks up at me with his tear stained face and I shake my head.

"There are some things in this world even I don't know, bro."

John lets his head fall and his shoulders heave as the sobs wrack through his body once more. I don't know how he can cry for so long. Better off to get it out of his system now I guess. Besides he can make up for my lack of tears.

"John, we need to go." I reach for his arm but he just shakes me off.

"Bro."

I wait for a while until John slowly rises to his feet and turns to leave. He doesn't look at me or back at the cold bed, but as he walks by I catch a glimpse of his face; the face of a man who feels nothing. I follow John but turn back to look again.
The air feels dense and stale. I hate it.

"You made it lively up in here. It was always a fucking party." I give a short, half-assed laugh. Walking into the hallway I whisper a few last words before closing the doors.

"I'm gonna miss you Jade."

2 HOURS EARLIER

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, notifying me that I have a message. I open pesterchum and reply to Rose.

- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:26 -

TT: John, I need to talk to you.

TT: It is urgent. Please answer as soon as possible.

EB: hey rose, whats up?

TT: John, I don't know how to say this.

TT: But I think it would be better if I just came out and said it.

EB: ?

TT: … Jade is dead.

TT: …

TT: John?

TT: John are you there?

TT: John are you okay?

I'm in my car before I know it heading over to the hospital near Jade's town.
My heart is pounding and I'm in a cold sweat. Images of that message keep popping into my head.

TT: … Jade is dead.

It can't be true.
It can't be true.
It can't be true!

I rush through a red light and get angry honks from the people behind me, but barely give them a thought as I speed ahead.
Images of smiling Jade pass through my mind. The times we worked together, our years on the boat in the game, finally winning the game and coming back home. She had been there with me the whole time, through all the hardships and the fun times. My ecto-sister, my friend.

It can't be true.

I barely park the car before I'm out the door, dashing up the stairs and bursting into the hospital. People in the waiting room stare and doctors approach me but I shove past them, looking for Jade's room, hoping I won't see the name Harley written anywhere.
I stop short and look at the second to last room on the left in the south wing.
"HARLEY" is printed in big bold letters next to the door.
At first my feet won't move, but then they pick up speed until I'm running through the doors into Jade's room.
My feet squeak on the floor and I look up to find Dave staring back at me through his dark aviators. Can't he take them off at least once? At least right now?

"John…" he starts to say, but I walk over to the opposite side of the bed and stare at the pale girl lying in it.
There is a quiet, high pitched hum in the background; the sound of death. My eyes get hot and my nose itches. I can feel the tears coming and I don't try to stop them.

"Jade!" I flop down on top of her. She is cold and unresponsive. Sobs overcome me and I turn into a ball of mush as I recall all our memories together.
Her dumb, nerdy grin every time she did something she was proud of.
The day I received my precious bunny, liv tyler.
When we found out we were ecto-related.
All these memories flood my brain then vanish as I open my eyes and see Dave looking at me. I can never tell his expression, but he's not crying. That bastard. Does he not have any feelings?
Next are the angry, frustrated tears.
Why did it have to be her?
Why now?
Jade was one of the sweetest people on this planet. And now she's gone.

My heart aches.

I sit there, crying for a while. I scream at her to wake up but eventually just sit back on my heels. At one point Rose walks in but quickly leaves and I hear her sobs mix with the clicking of her heels on the hallway floor. They fade away as she gets farther and farther till I can no longer hear them.
After a bit, I stop and stare at Jade. In a way she looks so peaceful. Maybe it's just my selfish wish that I want her to come back. Maybe she's happier now. I don't know how long I sit there staring but eventually I get up and walk out.
My head is in a fuzz and I feel dizzy. The world around me is spinning; falling apart.

I think I'm gonna' be sick.