Lessons from Laxus

In which Laxus sort of helps Juvia to get Gray...or is he?

Prologue

The guild was celebrating Cana's birthday and Mavis, they got it wild! That meant the ones who usually avoided drinking, were also forced to get intoxicated. Heck, even Wendy drank a bit of ale and her speech was slurred, while the rest of the guild was getting all out. A very drunken Juvia was shouting 'Gray-sama da beest!' and that became the cause of another fight which started with Natsu and Gajeel objecting to what she had stated ('No, I'm the best!', 'No way in hell, Salamander!', 'Shut up you two, you heard Juvia!') and of course, escalated quickly. Erza was too busy bossing around Freed, Bickslow and Elfman and forcing them bring her more alcohol to stop the brawl. Lucy was holding Juvia so she wouldn't strip and join 'hot body-on-body action' when a certain blond mage came over and asked what was all that for.

'They're deciding on who is the best, because Juvia said Gray is.'

'R'ly? Lemme prove her wrong, because it's crystal clear I am the best. C'mon, Juv, I'll show you!'

And that's how Juvia ended up leaving the guild being carried on Laxus broad shoulders.

Lesson 1: Competition

Pain. If there was one word that could describe her existence at that moment that would definitely be pain. Juvia woke up with the worst hangover ever (which didn't mean much as she actually got drank pretty rarely). She struggled with her eyelids for a couple of minutes and finally opened her eyes. And quickly closed them, hoping she got it wrong. That wasn't her apartment! Maybe she was still sleeping... but no, cruel reality showed her the same room when she dared to open her eyes again. Wait, maybe it was Gray-sama's room? Juvia turned her head to the left and almost shrieked. Indeed, she had found herself lying next to a male mage. But it wasn't Gray!

Twenty minutes later Juvia burst into the guild, missing her feature hat (and a bra, but no one should have known that). She ran straight to Mira, asking for a glass of water and the strongest painkillers available.

'Hi Juvia,' Mira definitely was handling her hangover much better as she had her usual smile on her face, 'is anything wrong? You sorta look messed up'.

'Messed up? Juvia had the worst morning ever!'

'Juvia, won't you stop yelling, my head still hurts', Lucy winced, as she approached the barmaid and the water mage. 'Told you, you'd better not try to compete with Cana in drinking contest'.

'J-juvia didn't...'

'Oh, yes, you did. Mira, you might need to rearrange your shipping wall because I totally saw Juvia leaving wi-'

'Water Lock! Sorry, Mira-san, I'll see you later!' Juvia rushed to the outside, carrying definitely not amused Lucy in her water prison. When they were out of the guild, Juvia released her unfortunate love rival.

'Lucy-san, Juvia's sorry, but could you keep it a secret for now? Juvia's not even sure what exactly has happened...' Celestial mage wasn't in a very good mood due to a hangover and being soaking wet didn't make it any better.

'Ok', grumbled Lucy and turned around to get back home so she could change clothes. Juvia sighed with relief and headed to her apartment as well. She needed some time alone.

Laxus woke up with a slight pain in his head. He turned around and chuckled, seeing that his bed was empty, yet there a smell of rain was still lingering in the room. So she left already. He'd better go back to the guild before there is any commotion about this. He didn't want to miss that!

The guild was unusually quiet, aside from 'Mira, water!', 'can anybody tell me what the hell I was thinking drinking that tequila' and other complaints, the mages weren't as near as lively as yesterday. Laxus headed to the takeover mage with a devilish smile.

'Say, Mira... if you woke up and saw some blue hairlines on your pillow, what would you think?'

'Hmmm...' replied Mira thoughtfully, finally collecting the missing puzzles. 'Maybe Jellal dropped in...' she smiled innocently.

'You're accusing I'm gay?'

'Well, you asked about my pillow, didn't you? Or it could be Happy...'

'Never thought you're into bestiality', he teased.

'Oh, if it's you pillow we're talking about, I hope it's not Wendy. Or Levy, 'cause Gajeel would kill you. For any of them.'

'That sucker? Don't make me laugh! On a serious note, how's the water girl and our resident stripper doing?' Mirajane frowned.

'Since when do you care?'

'Maybe I can help her to get a man', the lightning mage winked.

He was in a very good mood for some reason, and the barmaid couldn't really get it. Oh well, at least she got to know why Juvia accused her morning to be the worst. Mira smirked. That might be really interesting! Ever since Lyon stopped chasing Juvia, the bluenette lacked competition. So Gray could do whatever he wanted and waste as much time as he'd like, because Juvia would be waiting for eternity for her beloved one to confess. Mira was not sure what exactly happened at Laxus' apartment, but the sole fact that water mage woke up there meant a lot. Gray better be prepared to win her back! Just when Mirajane turned to Laxus to share her opinion, she noticed him gone. No surprise, as Juvia (refreshed and wearing another outfit) had just appeared in a doorway.

'Yo, Juvia,' called out Gray, 'have you by any chance seen my clothes?'

'Um, Juvia's not sure...'

'Hey, ice-boy, stop bugging my future wife!'

And the guild went dead silent, even the never ending murmur stopped. Laxus nonchalantly approached Juvia and took something out of his pocket.

'You forgot it, honey.'

The water mage absent-mindedly took the piece of cloth only to realize that it was her own bra. Still silent in her utter shock, she didn't (or, rather, couldn't) object to Laxus taking her bridal style and disappearing with an evil laugh 'To honeymoon!'

'What the hell was that?' was all that Gray could say. And the guild burst out with everyone guessing how that was even possible.

Lesson 2: Speech

Laxus wasn't sure himself what he was up to, but really, messing with his guild mates was fun. That looks on Gray's face! Priceless! And others, too. He took a look at Juvia, who apparently passed out in his arms and chuckled. Should he trick her more? Definitely. And so he made his way to a nearest station and bought two tickets to a town with a nice hotel and cool hot springs resort. He did say honeymoon, right?

Juvia came back to her senses on a train and looked around only to find nauseous dragon slayer next to her.

'W-where are we going?' she stuttered.

'H-onneymoon', Laxus struggled to reply.

'But isn't honeymoon supposed to be after the wedding? Oh, and Juvia has no clothes with her!'

'N-not a problem. I'll be a good hubby and -burp- buy you what-fucking-ever you want. And what ab-bout knowing each other bett-' and nausea took the best of the mage.

Juvia, on the other hand, got deep in thought. She still hadn't figured out what happened that night. She did wake up almost naked, but with her panties on. She was too scared to take a look at her unexpected companion, so she didn't know if he had anything on. She found her clothes hanging in a bathroom, a little wet (did she try to take a shower fully dressed? Mavis, just how wasted she got?) and kind of ran away without any second thought. She hoped they didn't have sex (not remembering her first time would suck and what was worse - she saved herself for Gray-sama, not for a one-night stand!), but apparently, it was otherwise. Crap, she could even be pregnant with Laxus child! Juvia suddenly felt nauseous as well. And then she started to weep, as her life seemed to be a total disaster, and it couldn't get any worse. 'Burp', the exhausted dragon slayer threw up on her skirt. Or it could.

When they finally arrived to the hotel, it was late evening and damn, it was raining hard. Laxus paid for the rooms, too tired to even smirk at the thought how Juvia would freak out once she realized they had to share a bed, but Juvia was too upset to pay attention to anything. As soon as mages got to their apartment, the bluenette rushed to the bathroom. Juvia appeared half an hour later in a bathrobe only to find a lightning mage snoring on a king-sized bed. No coach or at least loveseat could be found around. Sobbing, Juvia made herself comfortable on the other side of the bed and fell asleep immediately.

Next morning Laxus was the first one to wake up. He noticed that Juvia was sleeping soundly on his left arm mumbling something, and she looked pretty damn cute in her sleep. He thought whether he was too cruel to toy with her, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He wasn't done messing with her head.

'Morning, honey!' He kissed her on cheek. Juvia jolted and sat up in a blink of an eye.

'L-laxus-san?'

'-sama'.

'Oh... so what does Laxus-sama want to do with Juvia?'

'Teach you a couple of lessons, my darling. There are some standards for Mrs. Dreyar, you know?'

'B-but Juvia...'

Laxus put a finger on her lips, to water mage's utter shock. Mavis, he was going to enjoy this!

'No speaking in third person, my wife shouldn't sound like a toddler! Or...'

'Or what? Juvia doesn-'

'Gotcha. Now it's spanking time!'

'Kyaaa!'

And so the day began...

During the breakfast Juvia still felt flabbergasted and ate as little as possible, horrified of possible nausea due to a possible pregnancy. Laxus didn't make her life any easier, as he said 'don't remember wearing any protection' and teased the hell out of her on what a lovely wife she would become and how lucky he was, not forgetting to spank her if she used third-person speech. What was even more astonishing, that she sort of accepted all of that and even had a guilty pleasure from being spanked. Really, she had been stalking Gray for years now and he was yet to reciprocate. While she was still in shock that no other than Laxus was the one next to her, and ther were on their 'honeymoon', the water mage suddenly felt relieved. Her fate was decided; no more uncertainty as she had no choice, being tied to a guy whose child she had next to her heart. And the guy wasn't too bad (actually the opposite in terms of looks… minus the attitude, but she could handle that). She could just follow the flow (and being a water mage it only felt natural). Of course, she would still have a special place in her heart for Gray-sama, but she could go on like this, right?

'Say, Laxus-sama, how would you name our child?'

The dragon slayer choked, not ready for the question.

'Storm. You are the rain, I am the lightning, together we make a storm.'

'Juvia thinks it's beautiful.'

'Hey, what did I say about third person?' Juvia giggled.

'And what if Juvia is into spanking?'

'You cunning witch!'

'Kyaa!'

When the day was nearing to its end, Laxus caught himself being genuinely happy. He spent all day with a girl he had hardly known before and used to think of her as a weirdo. Mavis, he was wrong. She was warm, and fun, and beautiful. That didn't go as planned... and the dragon slayer decided to help the bluenette for real. But before that he had to tell her the truth. Not that it couldn't wait for a bit, though.

Lesson 3: Looks

'Today I'm gonna make you look worth of Mrs. Dreyar title, girl! No objections!'

'Is J-juvia ugly?'

'Hell no! Remind me to do something with your damn confidence. We're just buying you new clothes. Fucking dresses, shoes and other crap you girls love so much...'

Juvia felt flattered as she knew what kind of torture shopping to men was. Once she dragged Gajeel along to a mall. He didn't speak to her for a month, for Mavis' sake! The water mage still was getting used to Laxus jerky way of expressing his thoughts, but she understood pretty quickly that he not as much of a douchebag he pretended to be. He wasn't her ice prince, but he definitely was charming in his own way. And that husky voice of his that sent shivers down her spine... Wait, what? Juvia, wake up; you're not supposed to feel like that!On the other hand, wasn't she going to become his wife? Mrs. Dreyar instead of Mrs. Fullbuster. What a twist of fate.

They shopped, and ate in numerous cafeterias, and shopped again, and strangely, to Laxus it didn't feel as awful as he thought it would be. Even attending the torture chambers by some mistake called shops and malls was sort of fun. Juvia was shy when it came to her (gorgeous) body, and he laughed his ass off seeing her reaction to the dresses he chose. Well, he wanted to take a good look at what was hidden under all those winter coats, so he chose. Then there was at lingerie store. Blushing Juvia in laced undergarments was both cute and sexy at the same time. Laxus inwardly chuckled. Gray, man, you gotta thank me later for this, but for now I will enjoy this trip to the fullest!

The more they spent together, the harder it got for Laxus to break his little game that didn't go as he planned. He hated himself for toying with Juvia and one day he decided to stop deceiving her.

'Hey, babe, I gotta tell you something.'

Back at the guild it took everyone several days to come back to normal. Well, almost everyone. A certain ice mage still couldn't get over 'future Mrs. Dreyar' thing.

'How the hell it is even possible? Juvia and him?' Mira put another drink in front of Gray.

'She wouldn't wait for you forever, you know.'

'You're not helping. Fuck off, Natsu, fight Gajeel, or Erza, or Lucy, or whoever you want. I don't give a damn!'

'What did you say, you bastard?!'

Mira shrugged went to a storage room. The resident matchmaker couldn't be any happier as Gray finally showed how much he cared for Juvia. The takeover mage decided to contact Laxus via lacrima.

'Hey, Laxus, it's Mira. Your little scheme has worked. About time you two came back, don't you think?'

'Like hell I know where that crazy woman is!' she got a glimpse of a very drunk and upset mage in her crystal before it shattered.

That was the second time Juvia ran away from the lightning mage. Only this time she had slapped him hard before doing so. His voice still echoed in the bluenette's head '…feel free to get back to the icicle. We didn't have sex or anything that night. Clothes? Um, you threw up on them and while I cleaned the stuff, you passed out on my bed. That's pretty much it.'

Juvia felt upset and hurt and cursed her cruel fate. There were no happy family (she knew he'd be an amazing dad as he wanted to make sure his kid wouldn't suffer the way he did), no certainty, nothing! And all those 'lessons', they were just to help her get into Gray's pants! The water mage had never felt so miserable in her life. At least the ice mage never led her on to such an extent.

Juvia got lost, but she didn't care. She cried as she was running along the unfamiliar streets, and for this one time she was thankful for the rain because it hid her tears. She approached a silent empty park and looked for a something to sit on. A wet wooden bench didn't look too welcoming, but Juvia was too tired to care. She sat on it and lifted her face to the soothing droplets of the rain.

'Why Juvia is so unlucky in love? First Gray-sama, now Laxus-sama...'

The bluenette stopped sobbing at the sudden thought. The fact that she didn't have anything to do with the devilish dragon slayer actually meant she could return to her ice prince charming. However, she was not a tiny bit happy about that. It confused her. She was so used to her being in love with Gray, how could it be she didn't want him anymore? The water mage shook her head. She... didn't want to be with Gray. She still held an admiration for him, but that was purely platonic. She wanted to be with a man, who actually made an effort to be with her. The one, who spanked her, teased her lovingly and hugged and occasionally even kissed her on the cheek (she would always freak out on that). She missed his playful devilish smile which appeared each time they went to bed they had to share (she would always squeak 'I'm not ready!' or 'don't hurt the baby! ', and he would laugh and leave her alone, saying 'then let me hug you both'). But all of that was a lie, and the man didn't want her. So Juvia went on crying till she heard a familiar husky voice behind her.

'That damn rain made it extremely hard to find you…'

Final Lesson: Confidence

'L-laxus-sama?'

'The one and only. I'm taking you away from this crappy damp; don't wanna you to catch a cold or something.' Juvia was too exhausted to argue, so once again the dragon slayer ended up carrying her in his arms.

At the hotel they got changed into dry clothes and sat uncomfortably on their huge bed for a while. The silence was almost deafening. Then Laxus sighed and started to talk.

'Juv...you know, I don't have a clue what I was thinking about when I started screwing with your pretty little head, but I must have been out of my mind. The more I got to know you, the more...' he paused, 'the more I fell for you I guess.'

Juvia didn't utter a word, it sounded too incredible for her. The lightning mage continued.

'I understand, you're head over heels with the fucking ice princess, and I don't expect anything, but... could you please forgive me?' The water mage sniffed. It was too good to be true.

'Juvia forgives Laxus-sama, but could he please stop lying to her? No need to lie about falling for her. She doesn't deserve this. She knows J-juvia is just.. a stupid clumsy girl... not ever having any luck in love!' She sobbed and the dragon slayer protectively hugged her.

'Neither do I, apparently. The girl I love is taken. '

'But Juvia doesn't want to be with Gray-sama, she wants to be with Laxus-sama!'

It was Laxus' turn to feel as if it was not happening to him. Though, he has quickly regained his senses. He smirked.

'Who ever said you're not worthy? Told you we had to do something with your low self-esteem and lack of confidence. You're fucking breathtaking,' he kissed her on the lips. 'Every.' Kiss.

'Damn.' Kiss.

'Inch.' Another kiss.

'Of you'. Long passionate making-out session. Juvia slighly moaned. The dragon slayer kept kissing her everywhere he could reach to; her face, her neck, her cleavage.

'Don't you ever say that again. You're the best. Even better than me.'

Juvia chuckled and exhaled to his ear, 'Yes..'

They spent another several days in the town, relaxing in the hot springs, walking down the streets hand-in-hand, making out, in short, having a good time like all newly formed couples do. But as much as they wanted to stay like this forever, the mages had to return to the guild. Laxus was planning a grand entrance at first, but Juvia made him give up on the idea.

'I think us being together will be enough for a commotion,' she smiled.

'True. But where is the third person speech? Does it mean I can't spank you anymore?' asked the dragon slayer in faked terror. Both mages started laughing like crazy.

'Juvia's butt hurts! Kya!'

The guild was chatting casually among themselves (save for gloomy Gray who was drinking the fifth beer for the day) when a door opened and the two mages everyone managed to forget about appeared. Well, they had been out for almost three weeks, and the guild folk decided that was just another prank and moved on gossiping on another matters. Yet at the moment all of them could not tear their eyes from a certain pair. Laxus looked badass as usual, but Juvia... she changed a lot. No more fur coats. Her flashy shorts and boots showed off her beautiful long legs, and a loose T-shirt didn't exactly hide her generous chest. She was also wearing sunglasses which she took off with her free hand upon entering the guild. The other hand could be found around a smirking lightning mage waist.

'Hi, shitheads! Mr. and Mrs. Dreyar here.'

The murmur stopped.

Mira dropped a glass.

Erza choked on a strawberry cake.

Freed fainted.

Laxus caught Gray's broken glance and said apologetically 'Sorry, buddy, but you made her wait way for too long…'

'Well, all is fair in love and war,' the ice mage turned around and left the guild house.

'We oughtta celebrate!' Cana's drunken voice unfroze everyone. The mages started asking questions, congratulating, etc.

Juvia only chuckled, watching the ever lively guild while sitting on Laxus' lap. She was thankful for a twist of fate and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Exam: Pass!