Between the Labels
Fiona is not my girlfriend.
I still stand by everything I've ever said about me and her, and a relationship.
It wouldn't work out.
She's ex-IRA, a gun runner and takes a little too much enjoyment out of fiery explosions. And I have commitment issues and no tolerance for anniversaries. We'll never have a house, a white picket fence, or a dog. I will never have a nine-to-five job and she will never be a soccer mom.
Fiona and I don't fit into the labels that everyone else expects us to.
A girlfriend is someone who you take out on dates, not jobs. Flirting involves coy and witty banter, not C4 explosions and sniper rifles. A relationship is something you work at and talk about, not run away from stay silent about.
So, you see, Fiona is not my girlfriend.
I told Raines what he needed to hear. The average person looks at the relationship that Fi and I have and automatically assumes she's my girlfriend. We work together, she throws sexual looks and innuendos my way, and occasionally she spends the night.
And now I asked her to move in with me.
But she's still not my girlfriend.
She's so much more. She is my everything.
A girlfriend is not someone you rely on, quite literally, to save your life. I wouldn't trust a girlfriend (or anyone else for that matter) to finish my first, official job for the CIA.
Fiona is the person I rely on to stay sane. She keeps me from going too deep inside myself. She lives life in the moment and doesn't allow the past to define her.
I wouldn't have survived my time in Miami without her. I would have allowed myself to be consumed with thoughts of my burn notice. I wouldn't have taken jobs and helped all the people that I have. I would have been broke, hungry and dead, before too long.
Fiona is not my girlfriend. She is my savior, my friend, my lover, and so much more that words cannot express.
We will not lead conventional lives with a nine-to-five workday, a dog or a house, but we will be happy.
By all accounts and past records our relationship shouldn't work out. But despite everything, we make it work.
We both defy expectations and do the impossible.
We defy the labels assigned to us and create our own niche of possibilities for our future.
The rest of the world doesn't understand. Hell, most of the time I don't understand. But the universe has thrown us together too many times for me to continue to feign indifference… if you believe that kind of stuff, that is.
And so here we are, sitting in this place between the labels. Living our life the way we want, according to our own expectations.
I don't know what's going to happen with my job. I don't know what's going to happen in Miami. All I know is that Fiona will be there with me.
I've tried living without her. I've tried pretending that she's not important to me. And I've come to the conclusion that life without Fiona isn't a life worth living.
But I still wouldn't call her my girlfriend.
I know it's short but I couldn't get it out of my head. Plus, the way I see it, Micheal is concise and to the point.