There is something awful that's going to happen.
He feels it. One in the morning has passed and he is still awake. Burning eyes. Numb fingers. Shaking. Head aching.
Cannot feel anything. Nothing but fear.
It's been that way for years and Ethan wonders how the hell he hasn't grown up from the kid who everyone said cried wolf.
The same thoughts encircle his brain. Same as ever.
Maybe if you pull your duvet tighter, it will protect you.
Maybe if you muffle your mouth, they won't hear you break.
Maybe if you let the music leak from earphones, you might forget.
Something bad is going to happen. I feel it. In the air and in my chest. The world is heavier.You're mad. You can't sense bad things.But I can. I sense them.More thoughts. Grow up, he curses himself. It should be easy to grow up - he matured so young. Everyone marvelled at that. So proud, so damn proud, but Ethan was just worrying his childhood away.
He is still the same kid he was. Deep down.
Maybe if you close your eyes, you'll be dreaming. Ghosty tears, they never existed, only in your dreams, and your eyes don't sting anymore and the headache is gone.
Stand up and pace and move and don't you dare lie to me-
Ethan trembles against the headboard in the early morning.
He may be grown now, but Ethan still has scars. He still remembers.
People can be amazing. Remarkable. Beautiful angels helping you find your way.
Or they can make you cry, shake, in the middle of the night. Hyperventilate. Call a friend with trembly fingers and a soaring heart rate and you'll just sit in fucking silence because you can't explain this.
Ethan has never missed being a child. Mainly because he feeks stuck in the mindset of a sixteen year old - always and perpetually.
And it's all your godamn fault.
Ethan swallows back bile, uncrooks his neck and wipes his sticky eyes. One thought remains, sticking out like a thorn among roses.
There is something awful that is going to happen.