[AN: This was written alongside HailingTorrent from AO3. It was basically cobbled together from an EXTREMELY loose collection of memes, fanart, headcanons and funny s**tposts. And I figured I'd turn this into a rough draft and try to get some feedback ^^. So be sure to comment and tell me your thoughts, I'd like to refine this into a much better fic someday ^^]

[TW - Contains Transphobia, Fatphobia, Ableism, Discussions about Immigration, and Romance. Not in this chapter, but...y'know...down the line.]

Life is Quirky
Chapter 1 – Doctor's Note, pt. 1

"Sorry Kid, I don't know what to tell you."

Deku sat with Dr. Tsubasa. The boy was 17, and he was looking at X-Ray's of his own feet. He had the correct bones. His blood test checked out. He even passed the "abnormal energies" test, given to him by one of the clinic's nurses' with a CAT Scan-Quirk.

He HAD a Quirk. Both he and Dr. Tsubasa knew this. He just…had no idea how to switch it on.

Deku had known Dr. Tsubasa for many years. He was the Midoriya family doctor, and a long-time resident on his mother's Christmas card list.

"Well, we've put you though your bi-annual physical. So far we've got very little outside the baseline in terms of physical prowess, and your psych evaluation shows…while you've clearly above-average in all fields, you've got no Quirk-factor enhancing your baseline intelligence."

Deku was unsure if he was supposed to take that as a compliment.

"Now, your energy scans show that you've got a massive reservoir of untapped energy within your own body. It's…very odd. It doesn't seem to translate into light, sound, heat or kinetic energy. It's just there. From your mouth, eye and wrist tests we're not seeing much in the way of a means to PROJECT this energy. So…we might need to start assuming you have a Battery-Quirk of some description."

Deku sighed. He was desperate to find out what his Quirk was.

Dr. Tsubasa looked at Deku's right hand. Or rather, the metal prosthetic clipped onto the dressings and wrappings on his stump of a wrist.

"Mr. Midoriya…could it be possible that the key to activating your own Quirk is the result of your missing hand? It's surprising common with wounded heroes and the like, where the part of their bodies that enables activation or controls the Quirk gets injured or removed…and their Quirk gets lost as a result. We call it Surgical Quirklessness. Or Phantom Quirks, if you listen to late night radio."

Deku sat back in his chair, pondering this. Could that be why his Quirk had kept eluding him. He looked at his own, unfeeling, metallic limb. How stiff it was. How his wrist always itched under the clips. It was a crude prosthetic. Heroes got fancy ones, with working fingers and surgical attachments. The Midoriya's were a lower-middleclass family with very little money, so all his poor mother could afford was this stapled on tin mitten.

At least it didn't get rusty.

Dr. Tsubasa had treated Midoriya for a while, and gave him a warm smile. "Hey, there's a chance that this isn't the case. There are millions of avenues we still haven't tried. Psychological blocking? Or maybe your Quirk requires another, matching Quirk to activate? We will be able to find something, okay? If nothing else, we'll get you some answers."

Deku swallowed, sighed, and stood up, offering his flesh-and-blood hand for the good doctor to shake. Dr. Tsubasa returned, and allowed Deku to leave the office.

Deku felt a horrible feeling in the pit of his tummy. As far as he was concerned, he didn't have time for all that. He had a month to figure out his Quirk…or he'd forever lose his chance to be a hero.

After all…U.A.' Entrance Exams were in a month. And he'd need something big to get in.