Hey guys! So I'm in the process of writing my next chapter for 'The Marauders and the Sorcerers Stone" and I'm experiencing extreme writers block, so here's my spurt of forced imagination in order to get through it. Hope you like it! (:
Disclaimer: This thing is split 90-10 between JK Rowling and myself; JK supplied the characters and the general story whilst I supplied the storyline and character attitudes in THIS PARTICULAR fic as well as the rest of mine.
Lily- normal
James- italics
Hestia- italics underlined
Sirius- bold
Remus- bold italics
Peter- bold underlined
Prongs dearest
Yes Padfoot?
No sweet nickname?
Yes sweetums?
Much better.
Why are you winking at Prongs?
Because he's sexy Moony
No he's not
OI! Don't let Evans hear you say that.
Considering all this is not out loud…
Shut up.
Ouch Prongs, that's harsh.
I would apologize, but I don't want to. Anyway, why has this incessant note passing begun?
Because, dear Prongs, I am bored.
Shocker. Considering we're in History of Magic and all. Did not see that coming.
Moony! Was that SARCASM?
Yes, yes it was.
I am proud of you.
I'M BORED, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
Well, I don't know what WE are going to do, but YOU can try shutting up.
Well-done Wormtail.
Good on you mate! Didn't know you had it in you!
Ha-bloody-ha. ENTERTAIN ME.
What are you lot up to?
JONES! Perfect timing!
Good luck Hestia
Why? What's going on?
Padfoot is bored and he wants someone to entertain him, and MAGICALLY you appear.
Prongs, that magic pun was not funny.
IT WAS!
And this concerns me because…?
Well Jones, there's a broom cupboard just down the h
What kind of best mates are you? That bloody HURT!
You deserved it.
PRONGS! You know what, you deserve the fact that Evans just glared at you.
What did I do?
No idea, ask Moony, he's girl translator extraordinaire. Speaking of, what did I do wrong with Jones? Most girls are flattered when I ask them these things!
Are you that daft?
Yes.
Honestly it wasn't THAT funny Prongs. You're all bonkers.
Answer the question!
Why do you care?
I don't know, I'm bored and this is entertaining.
Nice to know my misery entertains you.
ANYWAY whose ridiculous problem should I start with?
MINE
NO! WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT EVANS!
EXACTLY!
THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Why are you writing in capitals?
To accentuate the point.
I see.
Well, Padfoot has a point; we do discuss Lily a lot.
HENCE, we shall start with my NOT ridiculous problem, thank you very much.
Fine. Well, let's see…
Moony is reading back to see what really went down
Thanks for that Pete.
Anyway, well, you insulted the poor girl!
HOW IS THAT AN INSULT! The way I see it, it's a bloody compliment.
When will you ever understand girls?
Never.
Too right you are Prongs. I'm going to ignore his insulted expression and continue. See, the thing is, girls don't like that whole 'snog me in a broom cupboard' stuff. They appreciate romance, and lo
I may puke.
Oi! Give the paper back to Moony!
No, he was making me nauseous. Are we entirely sure Moony is a male?
Ha bloody ha. I was HELPING you, you twat.
It was terrible advice.
Had you said something like, she's got a boyfriend that would've worked on him
Wise words my friend
Like that would've worked.
Probably not, but he would've understood. Our Padfoot is a little, limited, you see.
He looks like he's going to kill you
Let him try.
See, I'm still alive
Your lip is bleeding.
Anyone else find it funny how Binns didn't notice that?
Binns wouldn't notice if Evans took her top off and started waving it around over her head.
We've lost Prongs.
He's busy imagining that
You just HAD to say Lily.
Technically he said Evans.
Wormtail you're my best friend.
I thought Prongs was.
Prongs is busy drooling over Evans who's sitting not a meter away from him. He is not my best mate when he does these things.
I resent that. And I was not drooling.
Then what's that running down your chin?
Blood. From when Padfoot punched me. Bloody rude of him.
So Prongs, what does Evans look like shirtless, in your imagination?
Bloody fantastic, thank you for asking.
Honestly, you two giggle like little girls.
Moony, I assure you, there is nothing little about me
Do not wink at me like that ever again.
Or he'll make sure there's nothing to be little.
Wormtail! You've gone wild!
Moony likes it
My thoughts precisely, Prongsie.
Bloody wankers.
So any idea why Evans dearest was glaring at you before?
Absolutely none, Moony?
Moony?
MOONY?
STOP passing notes
Sorry Mrs. Prefect sir
Evans! Glad you could join us
I am not joining you. I am simply requesting that you STOP passing notes.
And why ever would we do that?
Because you're distracting me
It's not our fault you're sitting at our table
I am not sitting here by choice, I assure you.
She's not kidding. Had Binns not specifically asked us to sit here so he could separate those bloody Prewetts we'd be happily over there, right Lil?
Obviously.
Don't lie Evans, we know it's because you find me bloody attractive
I'd rather be over there with the Prewett brothers.
WHAT?
Ouch mate.
You think Fab and Gid are attractive?
Hell yes.
Evans?
I agree with Hest.
Wha
And Prongs does not get the paper. SO, females, how's it going?
Females? Really?
Ah Jones, I've always known you were female.
I'm sure she's extremely aware of that fact.
Considering the fact you've been almost as bad as Prongs with Evans.
NONSENSE. ALL I DID WAS OFFER A BLOODY SNOG! PRONGS DID WAY MORE THAN THAT!
Thanks mate, appreciate the loyalty.
Don't mention it.
Can you lot STOP IT?
I don't know, can we?
Merlin help us, Prongs has started YET ANOTHER infamous Evans/Potter banter.
Shut up Remus, I'm going to enjoy this one
Why?
I really shouldn't say.
No, you bloody shouldn't.
I won't!
Good.
What?
What?
What?
What?
Tell us!
YES. Listen to Prongs!
Why ever would I do that?
Why not?
What is wrong with you today, Wormtail? You're so forceful.
Moony really likes it.
Yes, you can see it on his expression
Leave me alone!
Not likely
Potter, stop being such a prat.
HOW am I being a prat? I'm teasing my best mate, I apologize if this irks you in any way your majesty
(Oi Moony, that was a little uncalled for, don't you think?)
(I do, but I also think it's about time Prongs let out all his anger.)
(Anger from what?)
(Pent up sexual tension)
(Padfoot!)
I'm ever so sorry if you're acting like a cocky twat Potter.
What is your PROBLEM?
MY problem?
Yes, your fucking problem.
(Moony I'm frightened)
(This is actually getting intense)
(How so?)
(Honestly Wormtail, how think could you get?)
(Padfoot, shut up)
(He means this is the first time James has yelled at Lily for something)
(Exactly, it's usually Lily who's screaming at him for something)
(I think I know where this is going to go!)
(Where?)
(Yes, thank you Wormtail, do elaborate Jones)
(Shut up and hand the parchment over to Lily or James before either one blows their top OUT LOUD. I have a terrible headache and I'm not in the mood to LISTEN to their banter. Reading I can do)
(She has a point, give it to James so he can scream at Lily)
(No, give it to Lily, James just said something)
WHAT fucking problem?
You know exactly bloody what I'm talking about Evans.
Despite what your delusional self may believe, I don't bloody care what you have to say hence I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about.
THERE. RIGHT THERE. What do you bloody have against me Evans? I'm just the "arrogant toe-rag" or the "conceited twit" or the "incorrigible prat" to you, aren't I, Evans? That's NEVER going to change!
(Merlin, where is all this coming from?)
(I don't know, but this is really good stuff. I'm, for once, not bored in History of Magic)
(Agreed!)
(This is really strange, Prongs was JUST FINE a few minutes ago)
(Are you all that ridiculously unobservant? Prongs has NOT been fine lately!)
(I knew THAT. I just didn't know it was about this.)
(Me either, but there's no denying he hasn't been fine)
(I guess he's finally just getting it all out then.)
It's always going to be just 'Potter' to you, isn't it?
I don't know what you want me to say! You want me to say that I've somehow magically fallen in love with you? You want me to start calling you James? You want me to suddenly IGNORE every single thing you've done to me?
Yes, I do want you to call me James.
What? I've ALWAYS called you 'Potter'!
And what, may I ask, have I DONE to you, as you so brilliantly put it?
That's beside the point!
That is the bloody point!
(What is the point?)
(No idea)
No it's bloody not! The point is that
You know what Evans; I can't take much more of this. This constant yelling at me for things I HAVE NOT done to you.
You think you're so bloody innocent? You RUINED my friendship with Sev!
Oh ENOUGH of that! How many more times do I have to apologize to you for that?
Doesn't change what you did.
Well what am I supposed to do about that then? Bloody go up to Snape and ask him to take it back? Go back in time? Honestly Evans, I wouldn't do it even if you asked.
Oh and why is that?
Because I'm glad you FINALLY saw what kind of person he was! He's a rotten person and you deserve better than that.
What, no sarcastic comment? No cheeky retort?
No
It's a miracle! It's a bloody miracle!
Prongs! Calm down mate, look at Evans!
Oh shit! Look, I'm sorry, PLEASE don't cry!
And now she's leaving.
Bathroom my arse.
No, really Pete?
That was sarcastic by the way
Shit! What HAPPENED to me?
What are you still doing here?
What?
Bloody GO AFTER her you daft prick.
What? Why?
Just go James.
Going, going, aaaaaaaaannnndd he's gone.
"Evans! Evans!"
"WHAT?"
"I'm sorry!"
"Just drop it."
"I'm genuinely sorry, that was out of line."
"No, it wasn't!"
"And I'm- what?"
"It wasn't out of line!"
"Then, er, why are you yelling at me?"
"Reflex?"
"Okay"
"Stop laughing at me!"
"Y-you're so f-f-funny! You're yelling at me out of, of, reflex!"
"Potter! I swear to Merlin, if you don't stop laughing RIGHT NOW I'll-"
"Yes?"
"Did you just kiss me?"
"Yes and I would apologize b-"
"Yes?"
"Evans, did you just kiss me?"
"No"
"Oh really?"
"Yes"
"So I guess I imagined it then"
"Probably"
"Hogsmeade?"
"Possibly"
"Is that a yes Evans?"
"Maybe"
"Did Lily Evans just ACCEPT an invitation to go out with me?"
"No"
"Oh, so I suppose I imagined it again?"
"Probably"
"I see."
"Stop smirking Potter"
"No can do Evans darling"
"I sodding hate you"
"I know."
"I'm going back to class"
"Alright, let's go"
I am not going to take that hand"
"Fine, then I'll take yours"
"Fine"
"Fine"
"You're incorrigible"
"Music to my ears, love."
"Don't call me love"
"I will"
"It's a rule"
"Rules are made to be broken"
"Potter!"
"James"
"What?"
"Yes?"
"James?"
"Yes Lily?"
"You infuriate me"
"And you love it"
"Bugger off."
"I love you too Evans."
So that's the end of this rather random and pointless oneshot. I'm sitting in the office, interning incase you were wondering, and I have not much to do, so here's a random oneshot which I wrote halfway through some of my history homework because, well, come on.
Hope you liked it!
REVIEW PLEASE.