A/N: I do not own Castle...
This is my first fan fic...hope you enjoy!
Find Me
She sat shivering in the late evening rain, on the curb in front of his apartment building. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting the rain pelt at her face. The cold drops blended with the warm tears that had recently escaped and begun their slow descent toward her jaw line. Fear and sadness echoed in the hollow of her heart while at the same time anger filled her gut, sharpened her senses and coursed through her veins. It would not end like this. Not tonight. Not ever. She straightened her back, stood up, and allowed herself one glance back at the dark windows of the loft above her. She had given herself the last couple of minutes to shed the hardest of the emotions and prepare herself for what now lay ahead. She knew, though, that there was no time to wallow in the darkness. She walked to her car, got in, and started the engine, not even bothering to wipe the rain or the streaks of sadness from her face. Detective Kate Beckett pulled away from the curb and drove back toward the 12th precinct, determined to find her way to Rick Castle, wherever he may be.
xxxxx
He sat crumpled in the corner of the dimly lit room, his back leaning into the right angle where the walls met. His hands and feet were bound, and he felt dizzy and disoriented. His head throbbed all over, and he could not even pinpoint exactly where the worst impact had been. He licked his parched lips and could taste the coppery salt of his own blood where Garrison had slapped him. Splinters from the battered hardwood floor scratched at the backs of his legs, reminding him that he could still feel something so he must be alive. The thought renewed his hope, even as he silently willed Kate Beckett not to come here to find him. Coming here is exactly what Garrison wanted her to do, and Rick Castle had no doubt that if she arrived, there was a good chance she would not make it back out again. The thought made his heart sink and his blood run cold. It could not end like this. Not tonight. Not ever.
xxxxx
Earlier that morning:
The day had started off much like the days often do: Kate had arrived at the precinct at 4:45 am, before the sun had even started its grand ascent over New York City. She was sitting on her desk staring at the murder board and using this hard-earned quiet time at the station to allow herself to think, to mull over the facts, to volley ideas between herself and the whiteboard looming in front of her. Just as the elusiveness of the answers started to discourage her, in walked Rick Castle with two cups of coffee, a pastry, and a knowing smile. Now would be their time to trade thoughts and friendly barbs, willing away the frustration of the case with some fresh ideas and just a little flirtation. She smiled back and thanked him for the coffee, grateful that he was here this morning. He sat down next to her, lightly nudged her left shoulder with his right; and just like that, he had let her know that he was glad to see her too.
"Morning, Castle", she said quietly between sips of coffee.
"Top of the morning to you, Detective", he answered, his voice just the right blend of cheerful and caring.
They sat together, rearranging the pictures and notes in their minds until simultaneously they turned to each other and exclaimed, "I know who the killer is!"
Kate took a deep breath and let it out slowly, a smile lighting up her face just for him. This was one of her favorite moments. It didn't happen with every case, but when it did, the electricity between them was palpable. Rick's hand involuntarily rose up from the desk, just slightly, and he had to stop himself from reaching out to touch her face. This, right here, was everything to him. He held his breath for an instant, watching the happiness dance across her features. The moment passed quickly, but it was one more moment that made each of their hearts skip a beat, and inched them a little closer to being together, to allowing themselves to love.
xxxxx
Unfortunately, for this case, realizing who the killer was would only make their lives more difficult. By understanding who it was, they now also understood how it was done, recognized the pure vindictiveness and unabashed hatred that must have oozed from his thoughts and worked through his hands as he planned and completed the deed. Jonathan Garrison had committed murder before and would surely commit murder again if he was not caught. He was unafraid and unflinching in his wielding of power and dispersal of pain. The police officer who had arrested Jonathan ten years ago was now dead, and so was her husband. It was their pictures that rested at the top of the murder board. Jonathan had killed Nate first and then watched – no, stalked - from afar as Jillian mourned. He dispensed his final punishment upon her only once he was certain Jillian had suffered immeasurable loss. Kate and Rick had questioned Jonathan two days ago, but to no avail. He must have known then, though, that it would only be a matter of time before Kate and Rick solved this puzzle. The detective and the writer had a reputation in this city, and they were not known to let cases like this one go unsolved.
It was right after their harmonized spark of intuition that Castle and Beckett realized this man would stop at nothing to keep himself free, that he enjoyed killing and drew pleasure from tormenting those who sought his capture. With that sudden knowledge came action.
Castle leapt off the desk as he whispered, "Alexis. Mother."
Kate immediately moved to call Esposito and Ryan, telling them to go to Castle's loft to check on Rick's daughter and mother. She knew she would not be able to keep Rick from going to his apartment to check on his family and wouldn't even think of trying to stop him, though she did try her best to make him wait while she called Ryan and Esposito. She did not want Rick to go there alone. Understandably, yet frustratingly, he would not wait. He was on his way out the door before she could finish calling the two detectives. Despite the fear that pricked her heart as she watched him go, she would never try to keep a father from going to his own child who might be in danger. As he ran for the elevator, Kate had called to him "Watch your back. I'll be there right behind you. Ryan and Esposito will be there as fast as they can." As the elevator doors slid shut, she caught a last glance of the guilt and fear that gripped this man she cared for so deeply. She wanted nothing more than to make this all okay, and to make sure Castle stayed safe. She had to try to reach Alexis and Martha before she left and was thankful that Esposito and Ryan would soon be on their way to the loft. She had no idea what she would do if anything happened to Castle, knew only that the mere thought of losing him made her pray to a god she wasn't sure she believed in to keep him safe.
Kate then dialed Alexis. The girl's phone rang in Kate's ear and then went to voice mail. Kate left a calm but strict message telling the girl that her father was on his way and that she should not open the door for anyone until he got home, except for Ryan and Esposito who were due to arrive at any moment. Kate knew the teen would have the presence of mind to do exactly what she had instructed. When she hung up, she left the same message on Martha's cell phone and then on the landline at the Castle residence. She was ready to leave the precinct and catch up to Castle; but just as she was hanging up, Alexis and Martha entered the 12th precinct and rushed to Kate Beckett's desk.