A/N: This is supposed to be set somewhere in the eighth season. I haven't actually seen it, so please don't be too harsh, but this is after Hyde marries Sam. The title of this chapter comes from the Blue October song "Hate Me," which is pretty much the inspiration for the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, the characters, or the song. I wish.

He had seen her, yesterday. He had left something at Donna's house- he couldn't remember what it was now- and she had been there.

He heard music coming from the room that she shared with Donna. It was a cold, empty kind of music. It wasn't sad. It was hollow.

And when he peered inside, that was what he saw too.

In essence, it was what he had seen for weeks now, but what he'd tried to ignore and suppress.

She was still there, he could see her, but what he could see was all that was left. There was nothing left on the inside. She was like the music- she was hollow, and empty, and so very, very cold.

She didn't talk all that much, and she didn't laugh unless it was forced laughter. She didn't smile, unless it was fake. She didn't eat, unless Donna made her. She didn't sleep, until Donna comforted her.

She didn't live anymore.

And it was his fault. For every fake smile she had given to the rest of them, he was to blame. For every time she's had to convince them she was okay, it was his fault. For every time she tried not to cry, he hated himself.

He saw through it. He saw through every smile, laugh, and reply that the others took for granted. He knew how much she was hurting. He knew how much she wanted to say.

He didn't care about Kelso, or what he had almost done. He didn't care about Sam, or how he didn't want to be married to her.

What he did care about was Jackie. That little girl who was sitting there now, her soft sobs drifting over the music.

She really was a little girl now, more than ever. She was an abandoned little girl- she had no parents to take care of her now, and even he had left her.

Looking at her now, it hurt too much to think about.

Now, he was driving. Where? He didn't know yet. He didn't know the cities that he'd passed, or the states, or the time that had gone by.

It was all whirring past him now, only a backdrop to all the thoughts of her that swirled around his head.

What was left? A girl who loved him, and could never have him. A girl who was married to him, and could've had someone else.

And him. The guy stuck in the middle.

He hated himself for putting them in this position.

The worst part? She still cared. When he spoke to her, she answered. When he smiled at her, she smiled back. When he wanted her to hate him, she still cared. He needed her, but he didn't want her to need him.

He stopped the car, and squinted at the road sign. He was somewhere in New York, but not quite into the city yet.

He decided to call. Even if he messed up all three of their lives, he would at least be responsible.

A male voice answered. "Kelso?"

"Hyde, man, you gotta get home!" Kelso exclaimed. He was excited, but Hyde couldn't tell if it was good or bad- you could never tell with Kelso.

"Kelso, tell me what's going on. No, wait, put Donna on the phone."

He did. She explained. "Come home, now," she demanded.

"I will, but first I have to do something."