It was a good day in Sweden, where Super Smash Bros is held. Every generation it would be held at the globen in stockholm, in which people would beat the shut out of each other. Mario set foot on the globen. "This is nice. finally home peach with peace" Everybody went inside and unpacked their stuff. Bowser picked up a single bottle of rum. He tried to open it but it did not work so he became giga bowser it still didnt work so he threw it out the window it still didnt work but the window broke and it hit the sidewalk and broke. There is glass and booze everywhere. There are children here Bowser why are there children here why are children going to get beat up and now step in glass shame. "Fuck" Bowser screamed. There are children here Bowser why are there children here why are children going to get beat up and now swear shame. But it was ok. Bowser was happy because today he would confess his love towards Dark Link. Do you think Dark is his first and Link is his last name or is it a double name like Anne Marie or something? These questions matter, for he was going to propose.
As he walked through the hallway he thought. Dark Koopa, Dark Link Koopa, Bowser Link, Bowser N/A. "I dont know I'll ask i guess" he said he knocked on the door to Dark Link. But the one who opened was not dark link it was Donkey Kong "who names their child Donkey" Bowser asked DK punched him "wow" Bowser said he was pissed. But he kept going he had to buy a ring of course, so he went to H&M.
There he stood in H&M. "What is that confused mutant turtle doing?" Pit asked. "idfk" Lucina answered. Bowser is scared. "Dad what the fuck" Bowser Jr says coming into the store, "You just left me at the hotel you didn't even tell me where you were going I was scared thought you abandoned me like those other kids i mean what" "Ok, where is the jewlery at this store?" Bowser asked his son. "I didn't know handm sold jewlery have you checked the jewlery section or the cashier" his son replied. "Oh thanks" Bowser said and searched for something in his pocket, "Here's a dollar do something somewhere" and He was gone. "Give me your ring" he demnded the cashier. "I am a married person" the cashier said "So I can't be!?" Bowser guilt tripped the cashier and they gave him the ring. "Nice"
"Now that I have the ring all I need is Dark Link and we will Dark Link our lives together" Bowser said and laughed at his own pun. Everyone stared in disgust. He tore open the door he was certain was Dark Link's. "Dark Link please love me" Bowser sang. "Who the fuck are you what are you doing in our room you're gonna have to pay for that you know" Dark Link said laying on top of Lucina. "Why, dark pit!?" Bowser screamed, tears pouring down his face. "Why what, by the way this is not what it looks like we are just lay-on-top-of-friends-friends" Lucina wispered. "I can work with that" Bowser begged. Had the door not been broken Dark Link would've slammed it on Bowser, but it was so instead everyone stared at each other awkwardly, it was noticable Lucina was uncomfortable. Eventually Bowser left on his own.
Sad and more sad, Bowser sat in the middle of the football arena in globen. "Sigh" he sighed. "What is it Bowser" Mario asked. "Dark Link doesnt like m" Bowser began before Mario interupted, "k" and left. Now Bowser was even more sad. "I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone" Bowser quoted his favourite song, stood up and searched. Searched for what? Someone who cared. Bowser walked around for like an hour. No one likes Bowser. "Why does no one like me jr this is some SJW bullshit" Bowser asked for words wisdom. "You know that dollar you gave me? I was confused at the spot, like Sweden doesn't take dollars, most countries don't actually. And I didn't know how much a dollar was in crowns or whatever Sweden has so I just walked around confused and eventually I traded it with some Boxer guy for something called klubba and I thought it was a live clubba but it was just some lolipop and he wouldn't trade it back and people laughed at me" Bowser Jr said. "You're right Bowser Jr. I can't let the feminists win I need to find someone who likes me." And so Bowser created a Kik.