Spoilers: 3x12, Crossings.
Rating: R
Summary: Wish fulfillment. My wish for smut, to be precise, and Syd and Vaughn's fulfillment. Feedback: Fun_Liz_Williams@yahoo.ca
Dedication: To A, because she whinged so nicely about not having any good Syd/Vaughn smut. And she squeals pleasingly when touched with cold objects on her back.
Sydney stood by her desk, looking blankly at her computer screen, where the CIA logo kept turning, never ending.
It had been so hard, so awkward, when they had arrived back in the Los Angeles. The illusions that they'd had in North Korea - the confessions - had been pushed aside. All for her.
Syd really did hate that woman, no matter what she said to anyone's face. Her feelings about Lauren burned as a deep visceral fire in the pit of her stomach, a fire that Syd wasn't sure she could keep in check much longer. And her accent was like nails on chalkboard.
How was she supposed to work with him now? With her? She needed to stay with the CIA, with her remaining friends, her father. It would only be with the CIA's resources that she would be able to bring to justice the bastards that had stolen two years of her life, and destroyed what she had left behind.
It would be the details that kept her sane now, the small things like learning how to use the new toys that Marshall created, like preparing her aliases for missions. And as much as it hurt, it would also be Vaughn that kept her going. She would believe in him, in his agreement that they would find each other in the end.
She didn't want to make it harder for him. He was in an unenviable position of having two women in love with him, two women he loved. How could he ever choose between past or present, safe or painful, easy or hard?
"Syd!" Hearing the object of her musings call her name caused Syd to start. "Hey, everything all right?" Vaughn placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Huh? Yeah, everything's fine. I was just thinking." Syd tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, ducking her head to hide her eyes from Vaughn's searching gaze.
"We need to talk, too."
"No, I don't want to talk about it any more." She looked up then. Seeing the anguish in his eyes, her hand started to rise to wipe it away.
"Michael?" Another voice cut the moment.
Syd's hand dropped to her side, and she turned back to her desk, intent on doing something - anything - so she wouldn't have to look at Lauren.
"Have you asked Syd about Friday?" To Sydney's ear, Lauren's voice sounded falsely sweet.
"Ah, no, I haven't got to that yet." Vaughn seemed unable to look either woman in the eye. Which was good, because Sydney wasn't ready to look him in the eye just yet either.
"I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner on Friday," Lauren said. "We're having a couple of other people I thought you might like to meet." Again with that tone that made Syd think that she would be served for dinner.
"Oh, I'd love to," Syd answered. "But I made plans with a friend who'll only be in town for a few days." No such thing would be happening, but there was no way she felt up to facing an entire evening of the Happy Couple in their home.
"Oh, bring them with you!"
"Will is only going to be in town for a day, and I kind of wanted to spend the time with him." Syd had never been more grateful for her ability to make up believable stories at a moment's notice. Vaughn froze, staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Will's going to be coming back to LA?" he asked. For someone who was supposed to be field-rated, Syd thought, Vaughn was awfully bad at hiding his thoughts.
"That's too bad," Lauren's voice piped in. "Maybe next time, then."
"Yes," Syd forced a smile. "Next time. I have to--"
"Of course." Lauren flashed a smile that made Syd want to punch her. Again.
Syd walked off before she could give into the impulse.
Hoping to get herself under control, Sydney slipped into an empty conference room. The facade cracked a bit more every day, and after the words, kisses and caresses that they had exchanged in North Korea, Syd was afraid she'd never be able to completely fix the cracks that they had created.
The door slamming shut echoed in the silence of the conference room. Syd spun, looking to see who had followed her into her sanctuary, coming face to face with Vaughn.
Pausing only long enough to lock the door, he stalked over to her. One his hands buried itself deep in her hair, with the other coming to rest on her hip as he pulled her to him. His lips crashed down on hers.
Moaning, Syd slipped her tongue into his mouth, reacquainting herself with his familiar tastes and textures. Her hands came up, running through his hair, caressing the nape of his neck.
As quickly as it had started, the kiss abruptly ended as Vaughn tore his mouth from hers. Syd moaned in protest at the loss; it had been so long, and she needed him so badly. As he pulled away, their surroundings came back into focus.
"Oh my God!" Her eyes searched the walls frantically, as if her naked eye could spot the microscopic cameras and listening devices that she was sure were hidden throughout the room.
"I know, we need to talk about this."
"No!" she exclaimed. Vaughn gave her a startled look. "I mean, yes, of course we do, but not here. Not at the CIA. God, there's some tech somewhere who'll log the video and audio of what we just did. How long before everyone knows? Until Lauren knows?"
"I'm going to talk to Lauren tonight. I can't live this way anymore." His hand came up, brushing her cheek lovingly, the way he used to do before her disappearance.
"Vaughn, I'm sorry. I never wanted to make this any harder for you." She looked down, smiling ruefully before meeting his eyes again. "That's a lie. I wanted this to be as hard for you as it is for me. I wanted you to feel all the pain that I was feeling. But I don't. I want you not to hurt this way, because Vaughn, it's killing me. I never thought I could hurt worse than after they killed Danny, but I was wrong." A tear lone tear escaped from her eye, making its way to her chin, where it hung until Vaughn tenderly wiped it away.
"Syd, I know this is hard this on you, but you have to know it's just as hard on me in ways you can't even begin to understand. To see you here, alive, knowing that you still want to be with me... it's tearing me in two." He paused to take a deep breath, steadying himself. "I love Lauren, but what I feel for her is safe and so much smaller and more manageable then what I felt - what I still feel - for you."
"Why did this happen to us?" Syd asked in a small, lost voice. Vaughn pulled her in close and held her tight for a moment. She leaned into him, trying to forget all that had gone on the past two and a half years.
"I'm going to talk to Lauren tonight," he said. "This isn't fair to us, and it sure as hell isn't fair to Lauren. She never did anything to deserve this. I really thought I could stay with her, but when she chose to turn you in, I couldn't... I discovered where my loyalties lay. What was truly important to me."
Reluctantly, Syd pulled out of his embrace, her hand lingering on his chest for a moment before reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. A thousand thoughts ricocheted around her brain, but none that she could focus on and turn into a coherent sentence. It didn't matter. Vaughn left before she could say anything.
------
Someone was outside Syd's front door. She could hear them moving around out there. Stealthily, she made her way into the bedroom and grabbed her gun. She was becoming sick and tired of people breaking into her house. Maybe, she thought, she should look into getting a storage locker-cum-bunker like her Dad's.
She clicked the safety off, finger on the trigger, ready to exert the three pounds of pressure needed to fire the bullet that would stop the son of a bitch about to break into her house.
Staying close to the walls, Syd made her way silently over to the front door, being sure to avoid the slatted windows next to the door. She made a mental note to get rid of them; anyone with half a brain could use them to break into her home.
With actions borne of hours of practice, Syd noiselessly unlocked the well- oiled deadbolt, then dropped her hand to the doorknob. In a move almost too fast to follow, the door was yanked open and her gun was level with the forehead of the person on her doorstep.
There stood Vaughn, hands raised to his shoulders, staring at Syd as if she had lost her mind. Once he was sure it was Syd, he immediately dropped his hands and grabbed his own weapon.
"What's wrong?" His eyes scanned the bushes and trees that lined the path that led to her house.
"Nothing, nothing." She lowered her gun, fingering on the safety. "What are you doing here? I could've killed you, the way you were lurking around!"
"I was coming to see you, but I was trying to figure out what to say when you opened the door." He looked down to study a non-existent spot on the floor. "The thing was, every time I raised my hand to knock on your door, I forgot everything I was going to say."
A smile crept across Syd's lips as she pictured him out there, desperately trying to figure out what to say to her. So many times, she had done the same thing.
"The thing is, I went home to tell Lauren that we couldn't be together any more, only to find this." He pulled a small piece of stationary from the back pocket of his jeans, handing it to Syd.
"Vaughn, this is private. I shouldn't read it." No matter how much she wanted to.
"It concerns you, too. I don't want there to be any more secrets between us." He brought his eyes up to hers again, searching deeply. To Syd, it felt as if he was reading her soul. "Life's too short."
Slowly she opened the folded piece of paper and began to read:
Michael,
I know we've all been playing a game for the last five months, pretending that nothing changed when Syd came back. But we all know it did. I could ignore the fact that you called her name in your sleep when she was dead, but now...
I'm going to make this easy on all of us. Even though I thought I was doing the right thing with Syd by telling Lindsey where she was, it became abundantly clear that I had been lied to and used as a pawn. And I am no- one's pawn.
It also became obvious where your loyalties really were. I do not blame you, or Syd, or really anyone but the people who made the situation. You cannot help what you feel, and neither can she.
I have requested a transfer, effective immediately, to be removed as the liaison to the CIA and out of Los Angeles. I have also taken some vacation time to prepare to move and get myself together. I will give you my address as soon as I'm settled for my effects and whatever papers need to be signed.
Lauren
Syd read the letter once, twice, and a third time. She was unsure how she was supposed to react, what she was supposed to feel. There was joy that Lauren was gone, relief that the added pressure was gone, and sadness for Vaughn, for herself, and even for Lauren who had not made the situation, and guilt for feeling anything but sadness over the end of Vaughn's marriage. In the end, the guilt won out.
"I don't know what you want me to say to this. How you want me to act."
A snort of derision came from the man across from her. "That's okay, neither do I."
He took the letter from her hand and tossed it onto the island next to them. "Can we just forget about this for now, deal with it in the morning? Right now all I want to be doing is holding you." His arms wrapped around her, drawing her in to his warm embrace. At the same time, Syd wrapped her arms around his waist, hands inserting themselves between his shirt and skin.
They stood that way, lost in the moment for a gentle eternity, hands caressing backs, nuzzling each other's necks with their noses. Soon, the nuzzling turned into tender kisses, each a little uncertain how far the other wanted to go.
As it had always been with them, the slow and gentle only lasted so long before the chemistry between them demanded a quicker pace. Kisses turned into nips and licks, and hands that had once been soothing started to arouse. Deliberately, Syd slid her hands down to cup Vaughn's ass, pulling his hips to hers.
Groans echoed throughout the small room as Syd felt Vaughn's hands drop to the hem of her shirt. He took a small step back, and in one swift movement he tore her shirt over her head and tossed it across the room, where it landed on her coffee table. Never one to be left behind, she copied him - though his shirt ended up flung across her countertop.
Nimble fingers danced up her back to her bra strap, and soon they were both topless and breathing hard. Syd let her eyes roam his chest, pecs, abs, looking for and cataloguing any new scars. Her hand made its way up to slowly caress a fading bruise that he had received during their stay in North Korea.
Content that the bruise was more colourful than painful at this point, she let her hand freely roam his body, delighting in the gasp she caused when her fingers glided over his nipples. She leaned, placing a kiss over his heart, then a nip that caused him to gasp.
Her hands lowering to the button on his pants, she toyed with it, almost letting the button slip from its fastening before her hand drifted further south. Vaughn's groan of frustration changed to one of pleasure as Syd stroked him firmly through the rough denim.
Looking up from the bulge in his pants, Syd smiled, pleased that she could still affect him so profoundly.
"Syd. Not fair to tease like that, especially after so long." With that, Vaughn pulled her tight to his body, his hips thrusting against her in earnest. His lips smashed down on hers, and his tongue did not so much seek permission to enter her mouth as demanded it. Not that she would have refused. Their tongues mimicked the thrusting of their hips, frantic and primal.
Grabbing his ass again, Syd began to shuffle back towards her room, never breaking their kiss. She rubbed her bare chest against his as they made their way slowly towards her room. Her nipples chafed against his skin, becoming harder with every movement. Syd slid her hands up from underneath his pants, up his back, her nails raking his skin as she tried to find better purchase.
With a sudden motion, her feet were up off the ground, and Syd found herself trapped between the cool wall and Vaughn's warm body. She wrapped her legs around his hips, grinding herself into his erection.
They both moaned, their thrusts becoming erratic, teeth clashing as their kisses lost all finesse. Vaughn lurched away from the wall and stumbled into Syd's bedroom, tumbling them unceremoniously onto the bed when his knees came in contact with her mattress.
Syd let out a loud gasp as the seam of her jeans was ground against her clit and pleasure and pain meshed together. Panting, Vaughn pulled back, looking for confirmation that she wasn't actually hurt. For an answer, Syd thrust her hips up, hard.
Vaughn swooped down for a hard, fast kiss that didn't last nearly long enough. He left her mouth, trailing kisses down her to where her neck met her shoulder. He sucked the flesh there into his mouth, not letting go for several long moments. When he did, he pulled back, looking a little sheepish, but somehow proud.
"You're going to have to wear a turtleneck to work for the next few days." It was definitely pride, she thought, as he leaned in and placed another love-bite next to the first.
Leaving her neck in favour of her left breast, Vaughn slowly circled her nipple, carefully avoiding contact with the tight bud. His other hand made its way up her body to cup her right breast. There, however, his fingers were to quick to pinch her nipple and roll it between his thumb and finger.
Syd's head thrashed on the pillow, hair falling into her eyes, obstructing her view of the man at her breast. She tried to arch her shoulders off the mattress to encourage his mouth where she wanted it the most. In retaliation, Vaughn lifted his head and removed his hand from her breast, instead placing it in the centre of her chest to hold her in place. Syd stilled, understanding, biding her time until a more opportune moment.
He returned his mouth this time, latching onto her nipple and pulling it into his mouth. Syd moaned in appreciation, bringing her hands up to run through his soft hair.
While his mouth had been distracting her, his other hand had made quick work of the opening of her pants. Unrestricted, his hand delved beneath the elastic of her silky underwear, combing through her curls to rest at her opening.
A finger slowly traced her slit up and down several times, before coming up to make tighter and tighter circles around her clit. Finding herself unable to control her body any longer, Syd's hips arched up off the bed.
Vaughn slipped a finger deep into her slick channel as his thumb continued to play across her clit. She was wet and ready for him.
"Please. Vaughn." Though what she was pleading for, exactly, Syd was unclear on. But he seemed to know, slipping in a second finger to join the first, followed shortly by a third.
"God, you're so beautiful. I love seeing you like this. I've missed it." He leaned up and placed the most tender of kisses on her swollen lips. Syd's eyes fluttered shut as Vaughn moved down her body, leaving kisses here and there as he slowly made his way down.
His fingers slid out, leaving Syd empty and bereft until she realized that he needed both hand to peel off her tight jeans. While he was separated from her, he removed the remainder of his own clothing.
Vaughn came back, placing a kiss on top of her scar, his fingers slowly rubbing it.
"I'm going to find the people responsible. They're going to pay." His words and action brought forth momentary thoughts of the loss they had suffered
"We'll find them," she said softly. "But Vaughn, what's important is not to let them destroy us. They came so close." The dark clouds in his eyes cleared, and as she looked down at him, she was sure the love she felt was clearly showing.
With a final kiss on her scar, he moved up to align his body to hers. Their lips met, both participating fully, but without the manic urgency of before.
Vaughn shifted his body until he hovered over her, resting all of his weight on his arms and knees.
"Now," was all Syd said as her hand reached down, guiding his firm member into her body. He didn't stop until his pubic bone ground against her clit, causing sparks of electricity to shoot through her body.
They lay still for a moment, becoming accustomed to each other's bodies after so long an absence. And yet they didn't have to wait long. As they started to move together, it was as if their bodies had spent the past two years in a holding pattern, each waiting for its missing half.
Vaughn pulled out slowly, only to thrust right back in. Syd brought her legs up and wrapped them around his body, her nails raking down his back to clutch at his ass.
"Move, Vaughn. There'll be time for slow later. I need to feel you in me now." Her words seemed to release him, freeing him to pound into her. He gripped her hips in his hands, holding her in place, and it felt as if he was going deeper into her with each thrust, building momentum in her.
Syd knew that they were going to leave marks on each other. More than just the small love bites that they had dotted across each other's bodies in the past, but she didn't care. This was wild and primal, a claiming back of what had been taken from them. A claiming of each other.
Their movements were becoming jerky, uncoordinated. Vaughn thrust deeply, hitting her in all the right places, and Syd wailed as a powerful and violent orgasm shook her body. Her inner muscles squeezed, milking Vaughn until he too shouted his release, burying his face in her neck.
They lay like that for a long time, the only sound in the room their ragged breath, the only movement the occasional shudder that wracked their bodies.
It was the cold that finally forced Syd to push at Vaughn's shoulder, though she loathed to have his comforting weight leave her body.
"What's wrong?" he mumbled.
"I'm starting to get a bit cold, and as romantic as this may be, the damp sheets underneath me aren't helping."
Vaughn groaned in mock annoyance as he rolled off her, reaching down to where the covers had become a tangled mess with the top sheet. Freeing the blanket, he moved to the far side of the bed and pulled Syd into his arms.
Syd nestled her head on his shoulder, her arm resting over his chest, hand splayed out over his heart. Slowly, they drifted off into the first truly peaceful sleep either had experienced in almost two and a half years.
Rating: R
Summary: Wish fulfillment. My wish for smut, to be precise, and Syd and Vaughn's fulfillment. Feedback: Fun_Liz_Williams@yahoo.ca
Dedication: To A, because she whinged so nicely about not having any good Syd/Vaughn smut. And she squeals pleasingly when touched with cold objects on her back.
Sydney stood by her desk, looking blankly at her computer screen, where the CIA logo kept turning, never ending.
It had been so hard, so awkward, when they had arrived back in the Los Angeles. The illusions that they'd had in North Korea - the confessions - had been pushed aside. All for her.
Syd really did hate that woman, no matter what she said to anyone's face. Her feelings about Lauren burned as a deep visceral fire in the pit of her stomach, a fire that Syd wasn't sure she could keep in check much longer. And her accent was like nails on chalkboard.
How was she supposed to work with him now? With her? She needed to stay with the CIA, with her remaining friends, her father. It would only be with the CIA's resources that she would be able to bring to justice the bastards that had stolen two years of her life, and destroyed what she had left behind.
It would be the details that kept her sane now, the small things like learning how to use the new toys that Marshall created, like preparing her aliases for missions. And as much as it hurt, it would also be Vaughn that kept her going. She would believe in him, in his agreement that they would find each other in the end.
She didn't want to make it harder for him. He was in an unenviable position of having two women in love with him, two women he loved. How could he ever choose between past or present, safe or painful, easy or hard?
"Syd!" Hearing the object of her musings call her name caused Syd to start. "Hey, everything all right?" Vaughn placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Huh? Yeah, everything's fine. I was just thinking." Syd tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, ducking her head to hide her eyes from Vaughn's searching gaze.
"We need to talk, too."
"No, I don't want to talk about it any more." She looked up then. Seeing the anguish in his eyes, her hand started to rise to wipe it away.
"Michael?" Another voice cut the moment.
Syd's hand dropped to her side, and she turned back to her desk, intent on doing something - anything - so she wouldn't have to look at Lauren.
"Have you asked Syd about Friday?" To Sydney's ear, Lauren's voice sounded falsely sweet.
"Ah, no, I haven't got to that yet." Vaughn seemed unable to look either woman in the eye. Which was good, because Sydney wasn't ready to look him in the eye just yet either.
"I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner on Friday," Lauren said. "We're having a couple of other people I thought you might like to meet." Again with that tone that made Syd think that she would be served for dinner.
"Oh, I'd love to," Syd answered. "But I made plans with a friend who'll only be in town for a few days." No such thing would be happening, but there was no way she felt up to facing an entire evening of the Happy Couple in their home.
"Oh, bring them with you!"
"Will is only going to be in town for a day, and I kind of wanted to spend the time with him." Syd had never been more grateful for her ability to make up believable stories at a moment's notice. Vaughn froze, staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
"Will's going to be coming back to LA?" he asked. For someone who was supposed to be field-rated, Syd thought, Vaughn was awfully bad at hiding his thoughts.
"That's too bad," Lauren's voice piped in. "Maybe next time, then."
"Yes," Syd forced a smile. "Next time. I have to--"
"Of course." Lauren flashed a smile that made Syd want to punch her. Again.
Syd walked off before she could give into the impulse.
Hoping to get herself under control, Sydney slipped into an empty conference room. The facade cracked a bit more every day, and after the words, kisses and caresses that they had exchanged in North Korea, Syd was afraid she'd never be able to completely fix the cracks that they had created.
The door slamming shut echoed in the silence of the conference room. Syd spun, looking to see who had followed her into her sanctuary, coming face to face with Vaughn.
Pausing only long enough to lock the door, he stalked over to her. One his hands buried itself deep in her hair, with the other coming to rest on her hip as he pulled her to him. His lips crashed down on hers.
Moaning, Syd slipped her tongue into his mouth, reacquainting herself with his familiar tastes and textures. Her hands came up, running through his hair, caressing the nape of his neck.
As quickly as it had started, the kiss abruptly ended as Vaughn tore his mouth from hers. Syd moaned in protest at the loss; it had been so long, and she needed him so badly. As he pulled away, their surroundings came back into focus.
"Oh my God!" Her eyes searched the walls frantically, as if her naked eye could spot the microscopic cameras and listening devices that she was sure were hidden throughout the room.
"I know, we need to talk about this."
"No!" she exclaimed. Vaughn gave her a startled look. "I mean, yes, of course we do, but not here. Not at the CIA. God, there's some tech somewhere who'll log the video and audio of what we just did. How long before everyone knows? Until Lauren knows?"
"I'm going to talk to Lauren tonight. I can't live this way anymore." His hand came up, brushing her cheek lovingly, the way he used to do before her disappearance.
"Vaughn, I'm sorry. I never wanted to make this any harder for you." She looked down, smiling ruefully before meeting his eyes again. "That's a lie. I wanted this to be as hard for you as it is for me. I wanted you to feel all the pain that I was feeling. But I don't. I want you not to hurt this way, because Vaughn, it's killing me. I never thought I could hurt worse than after they killed Danny, but I was wrong." A tear lone tear escaped from her eye, making its way to her chin, where it hung until Vaughn tenderly wiped it away.
"Syd, I know this is hard this on you, but you have to know it's just as hard on me in ways you can't even begin to understand. To see you here, alive, knowing that you still want to be with me... it's tearing me in two." He paused to take a deep breath, steadying himself. "I love Lauren, but what I feel for her is safe and so much smaller and more manageable then what I felt - what I still feel - for you."
"Why did this happen to us?" Syd asked in a small, lost voice. Vaughn pulled her in close and held her tight for a moment. She leaned into him, trying to forget all that had gone on the past two and a half years.
"I'm going to talk to Lauren tonight," he said. "This isn't fair to us, and it sure as hell isn't fair to Lauren. She never did anything to deserve this. I really thought I could stay with her, but when she chose to turn you in, I couldn't... I discovered where my loyalties lay. What was truly important to me."
Reluctantly, Syd pulled out of his embrace, her hand lingering on his chest for a moment before reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. A thousand thoughts ricocheted around her brain, but none that she could focus on and turn into a coherent sentence. It didn't matter. Vaughn left before she could say anything.
------
Someone was outside Syd's front door. She could hear them moving around out there. Stealthily, she made her way into the bedroom and grabbed her gun. She was becoming sick and tired of people breaking into her house. Maybe, she thought, she should look into getting a storage locker-cum-bunker like her Dad's.
She clicked the safety off, finger on the trigger, ready to exert the three pounds of pressure needed to fire the bullet that would stop the son of a bitch about to break into her house.
Staying close to the walls, Syd made her way silently over to the front door, being sure to avoid the slatted windows next to the door. She made a mental note to get rid of them; anyone with half a brain could use them to break into her home.
With actions borne of hours of practice, Syd noiselessly unlocked the well- oiled deadbolt, then dropped her hand to the doorknob. In a move almost too fast to follow, the door was yanked open and her gun was level with the forehead of the person on her doorstep.
There stood Vaughn, hands raised to his shoulders, staring at Syd as if she had lost her mind. Once he was sure it was Syd, he immediately dropped his hands and grabbed his own weapon.
"What's wrong?" His eyes scanned the bushes and trees that lined the path that led to her house.
"Nothing, nothing." She lowered her gun, fingering on the safety. "What are you doing here? I could've killed you, the way you were lurking around!"
"I was coming to see you, but I was trying to figure out what to say when you opened the door." He looked down to study a non-existent spot on the floor. "The thing was, every time I raised my hand to knock on your door, I forgot everything I was going to say."
A smile crept across Syd's lips as she pictured him out there, desperately trying to figure out what to say to her. So many times, she had done the same thing.
"The thing is, I went home to tell Lauren that we couldn't be together any more, only to find this." He pulled a small piece of stationary from the back pocket of his jeans, handing it to Syd.
"Vaughn, this is private. I shouldn't read it." No matter how much she wanted to.
"It concerns you, too. I don't want there to be any more secrets between us." He brought his eyes up to hers again, searching deeply. To Syd, it felt as if he was reading her soul. "Life's too short."
Slowly she opened the folded piece of paper and began to read:
Michael,
I know we've all been playing a game for the last five months, pretending that nothing changed when Syd came back. But we all know it did. I could ignore the fact that you called her name in your sleep when she was dead, but now...
I'm going to make this easy on all of us. Even though I thought I was doing the right thing with Syd by telling Lindsey where she was, it became abundantly clear that I had been lied to and used as a pawn. And I am no- one's pawn.
It also became obvious where your loyalties really were. I do not blame you, or Syd, or really anyone but the people who made the situation. You cannot help what you feel, and neither can she.
I have requested a transfer, effective immediately, to be removed as the liaison to the CIA and out of Los Angeles. I have also taken some vacation time to prepare to move and get myself together. I will give you my address as soon as I'm settled for my effects and whatever papers need to be signed.
Lauren
Syd read the letter once, twice, and a third time. She was unsure how she was supposed to react, what she was supposed to feel. There was joy that Lauren was gone, relief that the added pressure was gone, and sadness for Vaughn, for herself, and even for Lauren who had not made the situation, and guilt for feeling anything but sadness over the end of Vaughn's marriage. In the end, the guilt won out.
"I don't know what you want me to say to this. How you want me to act."
A snort of derision came from the man across from her. "That's okay, neither do I."
He took the letter from her hand and tossed it onto the island next to them. "Can we just forget about this for now, deal with it in the morning? Right now all I want to be doing is holding you." His arms wrapped around her, drawing her in to his warm embrace. At the same time, Syd wrapped her arms around his waist, hands inserting themselves between his shirt and skin.
They stood that way, lost in the moment for a gentle eternity, hands caressing backs, nuzzling each other's necks with their noses. Soon, the nuzzling turned into tender kisses, each a little uncertain how far the other wanted to go.
As it had always been with them, the slow and gentle only lasted so long before the chemistry between them demanded a quicker pace. Kisses turned into nips and licks, and hands that had once been soothing started to arouse. Deliberately, Syd slid her hands down to cup Vaughn's ass, pulling his hips to hers.
Groans echoed throughout the small room as Syd felt Vaughn's hands drop to the hem of her shirt. He took a small step back, and in one swift movement he tore her shirt over her head and tossed it across the room, where it landed on her coffee table. Never one to be left behind, she copied him - though his shirt ended up flung across her countertop.
Nimble fingers danced up her back to her bra strap, and soon they were both topless and breathing hard. Syd let her eyes roam his chest, pecs, abs, looking for and cataloguing any new scars. Her hand made its way up to slowly caress a fading bruise that he had received during their stay in North Korea.
Content that the bruise was more colourful than painful at this point, she let her hand freely roam his body, delighting in the gasp she caused when her fingers glided over his nipples. She leaned, placing a kiss over his heart, then a nip that caused him to gasp.
Her hands lowering to the button on his pants, she toyed with it, almost letting the button slip from its fastening before her hand drifted further south. Vaughn's groan of frustration changed to one of pleasure as Syd stroked him firmly through the rough denim.
Looking up from the bulge in his pants, Syd smiled, pleased that she could still affect him so profoundly.
"Syd. Not fair to tease like that, especially after so long." With that, Vaughn pulled her tight to his body, his hips thrusting against her in earnest. His lips smashed down on hers, and his tongue did not so much seek permission to enter her mouth as demanded it. Not that she would have refused. Their tongues mimicked the thrusting of their hips, frantic and primal.
Grabbing his ass again, Syd began to shuffle back towards her room, never breaking their kiss. She rubbed her bare chest against his as they made their way slowly towards her room. Her nipples chafed against his skin, becoming harder with every movement. Syd slid her hands up from underneath his pants, up his back, her nails raking his skin as she tried to find better purchase.
With a sudden motion, her feet were up off the ground, and Syd found herself trapped between the cool wall and Vaughn's warm body. She wrapped her legs around his hips, grinding herself into his erection.
They both moaned, their thrusts becoming erratic, teeth clashing as their kisses lost all finesse. Vaughn lurched away from the wall and stumbled into Syd's bedroom, tumbling them unceremoniously onto the bed when his knees came in contact with her mattress.
Syd let out a loud gasp as the seam of her jeans was ground against her clit and pleasure and pain meshed together. Panting, Vaughn pulled back, looking for confirmation that she wasn't actually hurt. For an answer, Syd thrust her hips up, hard.
Vaughn swooped down for a hard, fast kiss that didn't last nearly long enough. He left her mouth, trailing kisses down her to where her neck met her shoulder. He sucked the flesh there into his mouth, not letting go for several long moments. When he did, he pulled back, looking a little sheepish, but somehow proud.
"You're going to have to wear a turtleneck to work for the next few days." It was definitely pride, she thought, as he leaned in and placed another love-bite next to the first.
Leaving her neck in favour of her left breast, Vaughn slowly circled her nipple, carefully avoiding contact with the tight bud. His other hand made its way up her body to cup her right breast. There, however, his fingers were to quick to pinch her nipple and roll it between his thumb and finger.
Syd's head thrashed on the pillow, hair falling into her eyes, obstructing her view of the man at her breast. She tried to arch her shoulders off the mattress to encourage his mouth where she wanted it the most. In retaliation, Vaughn lifted his head and removed his hand from her breast, instead placing it in the centre of her chest to hold her in place. Syd stilled, understanding, biding her time until a more opportune moment.
He returned his mouth this time, latching onto her nipple and pulling it into his mouth. Syd moaned in appreciation, bringing her hands up to run through his soft hair.
While his mouth had been distracting her, his other hand had made quick work of the opening of her pants. Unrestricted, his hand delved beneath the elastic of her silky underwear, combing through her curls to rest at her opening.
A finger slowly traced her slit up and down several times, before coming up to make tighter and tighter circles around her clit. Finding herself unable to control her body any longer, Syd's hips arched up off the bed.
Vaughn slipped a finger deep into her slick channel as his thumb continued to play across her clit. She was wet and ready for him.
"Please. Vaughn." Though what she was pleading for, exactly, Syd was unclear on. But he seemed to know, slipping in a second finger to join the first, followed shortly by a third.
"God, you're so beautiful. I love seeing you like this. I've missed it." He leaned up and placed the most tender of kisses on her swollen lips. Syd's eyes fluttered shut as Vaughn moved down her body, leaving kisses here and there as he slowly made his way down.
His fingers slid out, leaving Syd empty and bereft until she realized that he needed both hand to peel off her tight jeans. While he was separated from her, he removed the remainder of his own clothing.
Vaughn came back, placing a kiss on top of her scar, his fingers slowly rubbing it.
"I'm going to find the people responsible. They're going to pay." His words and action brought forth momentary thoughts of the loss they had suffered
"We'll find them," she said softly. "But Vaughn, what's important is not to let them destroy us. They came so close." The dark clouds in his eyes cleared, and as she looked down at him, she was sure the love she felt was clearly showing.
With a final kiss on her scar, he moved up to align his body to hers. Their lips met, both participating fully, but without the manic urgency of before.
Vaughn shifted his body until he hovered over her, resting all of his weight on his arms and knees.
"Now," was all Syd said as her hand reached down, guiding his firm member into her body. He didn't stop until his pubic bone ground against her clit, causing sparks of electricity to shoot through her body.
They lay still for a moment, becoming accustomed to each other's bodies after so long an absence. And yet they didn't have to wait long. As they started to move together, it was as if their bodies had spent the past two years in a holding pattern, each waiting for its missing half.
Vaughn pulled out slowly, only to thrust right back in. Syd brought her legs up and wrapped them around his body, her nails raking down his back to clutch at his ass.
"Move, Vaughn. There'll be time for slow later. I need to feel you in me now." Her words seemed to release him, freeing him to pound into her. He gripped her hips in his hands, holding her in place, and it felt as if he was going deeper into her with each thrust, building momentum in her.
Syd knew that they were going to leave marks on each other. More than just the small love bites that they had dotted across each other's bodies in the past, but she didn't care. This was wild and primal, a claiming back of what had been taken from them. A claiming of each other.
Their movements were becoming jerky, uncoordinated. Vaughn thrust deeply, hitting her in all the right places, and Syd wailed as a powerful and violent orgasm shook her body. Her inner muscles squeezed, milking Vaughn until he too shouted his release, burying his face in her neck.
They lay like that for a long time, the only sound in the room their ragged breath, the only movement the occasional shudder that wracked their bodies.
It was the cold that finally forced Syd to push at Vaughn's shoulder, though she loathed to have his comforting weight leave her body.
"What's wrong?" he mumbled.
"I'm starting to get a bit cold, and as romantic as this may be, the damp sheets underneath me aren't helping."
Vaughn groaned in mock annoyance as he rolled off her, reaching down to where the covers had become a tangled mess with the top sheet. Freeing the blanket, he moved to the far side of the bed and pulled Syd into his arms.
Syd nestled her head on his shoulder, her arm resting over his chest, hand splayed out over his heart. Slowly, they drifted off into the first truly peaceful sleep either had experienced in almost two and a half years.