Never thought I'd be here. In a situation like this. Especially with him. Thought Jason Todd as he crept through the funhouse. He'd been Batman for a few years now, although he'd only spent about half of them with Bruce's blessing. Tim Drake had spent a few more years as the world's new Joker. He wasn't as sadistic and creepy as the original, to most people. But to his former family, it was even creepier seeing him this way.
There he is. He thought as he turned a corner, seeing Tim sitting in a chair, slouched, with an actual sword in his hand, although it was limp. He wasn't holding it as a weapon, it just looked like it was there for show. The funhouse had shitty lighting, but some moonlight shone in from one of the windows.
Jason loaded one of his guns and quickly stepped out and fired one right in front of Tim's face.
Whoa. He better have been trying to miss, or else he really is getting old. Thought Tim as the bullet went right in front of his face, barely grazing his nose. The second after it collided with the wall Tim got up quickly and held the sword up, licking his lips, grinning.
"Wow." Jason was the first to speak. "It really is you. I gotta say I was really hoping that everyone was just playing one big sick joke on me."
"World ain't that kind. You of all people should know that." Responded Tim.
"Believe me, I know." Said Jason, immediately firing another bullet, which Tim sliced in half with the sword.
"Alright, where the fuck did you get the sword?"
"From me." Responded another all-too-familiar voice from behind Jason as a gun was put to the back of his head.
"Well this I wasn't expecting." Said Jason. Deathstroke didn't respond as he walked around Jason, keeping the gun pointed at his head.
"Alright Tim, toss me the sword. I don't know what you were trying to pull, stealing it, and frankly I don't care."
"Wow, nobody tells me anything these days." Said Jason. In one swift movement, he grabs the gun from Deathstroke and aims it at him. "So you're Deathstroke now, huh?"
"Looks that way." He responded, quickly slicing Jason's wrist and grabbing the falling gun, aiming it at him once more. Jason then pulled another gun out of his holster and aimed it at Deathstroke.
"How'd you like to lose an eye to really play the part?" threatened Jason.
"Same old Jason, empty promises, empty threats."
"Really shows how much you know me, Dickiebird."
Tim then slid over to them and slipped, falling on his ass. He then got up quickly and aimed to guns at both of them. They both stared at him.
"What? You were both pointing guns at each other, I felt left out." He shrugged.
Jason sighed. "Whatever." And he pulled out his other gun, aiming it at Tim. Reluctantly, Deathstroke did the same.
"Well great. Now we're here, all aiming guns at each other at a standstill. Is this what you wanted, Tim?" asked Deathstroke with clear disdain in his voice.
"Well I mean I didn't picture it going exactly this way, but more or less, yeah."
"Wait, you planned this?" asked an angry Jason.
"Yeah! It's been so long since all of us Robins spent some quality time together! Besides, who would've ever thought that Joker, Deathstroke, and Batman would all be aiming guns at each other!"
"Except that we're not Joker, Deathstroke, and Batman. Not really." Retorted Deathstroke before immediately shooting Tim in the shoulder.
"Wow, you were the last guy I would suspect of ever taking a cheap shot, Grayson." Said Batman before putting one gun in the holster and punching Dick in the face as hard as he could, partially shattering his helmet. He then shot Dick in the foot before punching him on the other side of his face and grabbing his head, slamming it onto his knee. Deathstroke stumbled backwards and grabbed the sword lying on the ground. He violently sliced off the top of the chair Tim had previously been sitting on and jumped in the air, flipping, and kicking the top of the chair at Jason. He attempted to duck, but it hit him right in the face. He smirked, but that went away when Tim jumped up behind him and stabbed him in the shoulder.
"Shit!" shouted Deathstroke, stumbling forward and ripping it out.
"Yeah, doesn't feel so good does it?"
Deathstroke then threw the knife at Tim, and it lodged itself into his other shoulder. "God dammit!"
Deathstroke then felt a bullet go through his knife wound, and he turned around to look at Jason, who was smirking. Deathstroke then pulled out his gun and shot Jason in the kneecap, causing him to double over screaming. Deathstroke walked over to him and kicked him in the face, but Jason grabbed his ankle and pulled him to the ground. Jason rolled onto his back and hit Dick in the throat, but Dick kicked Jason in the ribs, pushing himself away, and as he slid he got up onto all fours, and lifted himself onto his feet, but he was knocked right back down by Tim, who kicked both of his ankles. Dick landed face down and Tim grabbed a knife, slicing the back of Dick's knee.
"Ahhh!" he shouted in agony, grabbing Tim's wrist, clutching it hard enough for him to drop the knife, and Dick grabbed it, stabbing it into Tim's veins, ripping it out, and stabbing it in there again. He would have kept going if a bullet didn't graze the side of his head. Angered, Deathstroke removed his helmet and turned to face Jason. Jason's eyes widened when he saw a giant scar running across Dick's face. He quickly regained his focus and fired another bullet at Dick's face, but it was useless. Jason knew Dick was fast enough to do this and wasn't at all surprised when he caught the bullet, although it did send him flying back a little bit, it didn't do any harm. He then pulled a pistol out off a holster on his leg and aggressively spun his arm as he fired a bullet. Tim pulled himself up and would have been in the way of the bullet, but it curved at the last second and went through Jason's bicep. All three of them struggled to get up and all charged at each other, all colliding violently, none of them sure of what they were trying to accomplish. When they were all huddled up Jason pulled out another gun and fired aimlessly, and it went into Tim's femur. He screamed and fell to the floor, causing both Jason and Dick to fall as well. None of them attempted to move and all simply groaned in agony.
Six hours later…
"Yeah, I will have the meatloaf with the large cookies and cream milkshake." Ordered Batman, folding up his menu.
"Bacon cheeseburger, large chocolate shake, no whipped cream, no cherry." Said an unmasked Deathstroke, winking as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Bring me two of the saltiest, greasiest thing on the menu. Oh! And a lemonade!" ordered Joker.
The waitress stared in complete and utter terror at her customers as she wrote down the orders before hurrying away. Anyone who wasn't smart enough to leave when the three of them entered was staring at them intently. They all still had open wounds, some had scabbed up, but some were already pooling up blood on the floor.
"That was a good fight." Said Dick.
"That was a great fight!" concurred Jason.
"Amazing fight!" enthused Tim.
"Ah…" they all said blissfully.
"Wow. Who would've thought that out of all of us, I would've ended up as Batman, and you guys as… well… you guys." Said Jason.
"Sure as hell not me. I always expected to put on that cowl. But I gotta say, you were it well Jason." Complimented Dick.
"See, aren't you guys glad I set this all up now?" urged Tim.
Neither of them really felt like complaining. They didn't really have a reason.