A/N: Inspired by Mikell's drabbles. You try beta-ing for that lady and not getting inspired, or even reading her stuff and not getting inspired, it's impossible to do, I'm telling you. Darn plot bunny attacks. Shoo, begone with you. I am convinced now that Leonardo is breeding these damn things to keep me as far away as possible from writing his fic. *glares at blue-banded turtle* *blue-banded turtle shrugs and flashes a wicked grin* See, what did I tell you. Moving on. I'm starting off with two drabbles. Leo and Raph. Who knows, I may try my hand at the others, but these two, yeah, I needed to get it off my chest. How I see them, why their relationship is for me so moving, beautiful and sad. Meh, rambling, hope you guys enjoy. It's movie verse, though there is a reference to a cartoon verse scene. Also thanks Mikell for helping me with the title :-D

Of course, I have to give a shout out to those others that inspire me. Those that push me and encourage me to be all I can be and more. To move beyond my comfort zone and try my hand at other things. They are my cheerleaders, they are my friends and truthfully, they're the best darn people anyone could ever hope to know. Mikell, Drea, Cindy, Polaris and Mel. You girls are my light.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything TMNT related nor do I make any profit whatsoever from this fic.

Raphael:

Not many people know dis. In fact I don' t'ink anyone knows dis, apart from maybe Master Splinter. Me an' Leo, we used to be close. Real close. He was more than my Bro, he was my best friend. We did everyt'in together. Sensei used to say we were inseparable. Then all that changed when he got those damn Katana and Splinter appointed him as Jonin.

I ain't sayin' I wanted dem Katana or not'in. I don' know what I'd do without my Sai, but when Leo got dem, he became Fearless Leader an' dat's what changed 'im. Ok, so I get it. I know Sensei made him Leader cause he's da best. I'm da strongest. Everyone knows that, but Leo? He's mister perfect and while I'd never tell him this, he really is just perfect. There ain't not'in Fearless can't do.

He works damn hard too to get where he is an' I guess ya could say I don' wish I had his burdens.

See, dat's da t'ing. Dat's where everyone gets it wrong. They t'ink I hate Leo cause he got Leadership. They're wrong. First of all, I don't hate Leo, and yeah sure, I wanted to be Leader and for a while, I thought I was gonna be.

Even Leo won't deny I'm stronger than he is, but that's just me. That's what I work for. I'm the hothead, the passionate turtle who just reacts on gut. I can't do anyt'in else. I've always been dis way. It's tough, when people don't know why I get so angry. Why I sometimes feel like my whole world don't make sense no more and you know somet'in? I know exactly when that started.

Ok, so yer probably t'inking, when did Raph get so emotional, well that's just it. I've always been dis way. I am an emotional kinda guy.

Truth is, the reason I get so angry is that day, when Splinter presented us with our weapons and appointed Leo as Leader, I lost 'im. I lost my best friend.

Don' get me wrong, I love Don and Mike, but Leo? He got me, ya know? He really understood what made me tick an' it was ok with him. He didn't care how mad or loud I got. He was always there fer me, whenever I needed to blow off steam. He got me an' knew when I needed to go topside or needed to spar with someone.

When I needed to jus' shout and scream fer no reason, Leo was always there. He even used to break da rules with me, sure those occasions were rare, but they did happen.

Now? Leo don' really do dem t'ings anymore. He's Fearless Leader, mister perfect; always in control. He hasta be and I get it. But I miss him, ya know an' sure, I got Casey now an' it's all good.

But sometimes, when I'm watching Leo do his practice, I miss my partner in crime. I remember da way we used to laugh together. When he wasn't always mad at me fer somet'in or other. When he would jus' let me be me an' I knew it was ok to be me. Cause Leo got me.

Now? It seems like it's not ok to be me anymore an' that ticks me off. He don't get me needin' to blow off steam anymore. He ain't der when I need to spar an' fight and get t'ings off my shell. I guess I jus' miss my best friend. Shell, I miss Leo.

See, dis is what happens, when I'm runnin' low on sleep. I get emotional and dat ain't good. Can't have Leo gettin' mad at me fer slackin' off in practice an' ya know? There's another t'ing. He t'inks, I don' work hard enough or da right way. He don' get it. I push myself harder than he knows. The reason I work so hard is at least dis way, I'm still on the same level as him. It's my way of makin' sure Leo knows dat even though we ain't friends no more, I still got his back. I still remember. He can rely on me. Shell, he's still my Bro, Fearless Leader or no, I still love da guy.

I'm goin' to bed. Enough of dis noise fer one night. I jus' wish, Leo could get it an' maybe jus' be Leo sometimes an' not always Fearless Leader. Cause, I gotta tell ya, Leo? Jus' Leo? He's a pretty cool turtle.

Leonardo:

You know, Raph ticks me off sometimes. He really does. It's like everything I say he has to argue with me. He has to come up with some reason why his plan is better than my plan. I'm the Leader. It's my responsibility to come up with the plans and shell, if we left it to Raph, we'd probably all be dead by now.

Ok, so I probably don't mean that, but honestly, I don't know what Raph is thinking half the time. I used to know. He used to trust me, confide in me. Then I became the Leader and he started to resent me.

I don't know what happened. I didn't ask for this. Truthfully? I sometimes wonder if I even want this.

I used to be close to Raphael. We did everything together. He was my best friend as well as my younger brother. I could relax around him and just be me.

Don and Mikey, they never resented me. They never left me after I became the Leader. Raph? He left me and I don't know why.

I envy Raph, though most people wouldn't think that, but I do. He's such a free spirit. He does whatever he wants, goes wherever he wants. Me? I can't do that. I have to think of the safety of our family.

Don't get me wrong, Raph will always have our backs. He would die before he let anything happen to any of us. He's the strongest out of all of us. I sometimes wonder if he knows I trust him with my life. Even though his rash behaviour and hotheaded actions frequently put all of us at risk, Raph is always the first to counteract it. He's always the first to go above and beyond the call of duty to protect all of us.

It's tough being the Leader and having your former best friend look at you with resentment in his eyes. I always knew Raph wanted to be the Leader and he could have been if he'd learned to control his temper and stop letting his emotions run away with him.

Raph, he acts before he thinks. He's always been that way. That was why I had to save him from the Albino Croc years ago. He nearly got his shell waxed, but afterwards, he looked at me with such respect and admiration.

I miss that. I miss my brother's respect. Sometimes I watch him as he trains in the dojo. He's always training, trying to be stronger, faster. He thinks I don't notice but I do.

Raph is fine just the way he is, but for some reason, ever since I became Leader, he's started to act like he thinks he's not good enough.

How am I supposed to tell him, he is good enough? He's not disposable by any means. But you try telling hothead that when he won't even listen to a word you say on a good day.

Ok, maybe that was unfair. He does listen, occasionally. When it suits him. I look forward to those days, when he doesn't question what I say. During those moments, it's almost like it used to be. We're united again.

When he gives me a rare smile or a pat on the shoulder. I look forward to those moments. It used to always be that way. I guess that makes it more special though. Those moments when it seems like he doesn't resent me. When I have my friend back.

Raph will always be my brother and I'll always love him. But, I miss him. I miss my best friend. The turtle who always got me through the day when things got hard. I could just be me and he'd be ok with that. It was ok if I wasn't perfect.

Now I'm expected to be perfect and I find myself turning to Raph to remind me it's ok if I mess up. He doesn't know this, but I rely on him to catch me when I fall. To take over in battle if I make a wrong decision.

He'll counteract my decision with one of his own and together, we make it through every battle. We're a team, but it's always Raph I turn to too lead, when I fail. It always will be.

Maybe one day, we'll be able to put all this behind us and get back to how we used to be. Until then, I'll keep looking forward to those moments of affection my younger brother rarely offers me.

He'll never know, I miss him, but he doesn't have to know. All he needs to know is he'll always be my brother and I'll always be here whenever he needs me, if he ever needs me.

I may have lost my best friend, but I'll never lose my brother. That's the one thing I can, and will, always be sure of.