Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou!
Authoress: Reiven.
Rating: PG-13 (for nekkidness!)
Genre: Humour/Romance.
Words: 2437 words.
Character(s): Yuuri, Wolfram, Günter and Gwendal.
Classification: Shounen-ai.
Summary: Wolfram is in the bath, naked. Yuuri then falls right into his lap, equally naked, forcing Wolfram to rescue him and perform the kiss of life. All while Gwendal is assuring Günter that it's perfectly safe to leave two boys in the bath together…naked.

Boo-yah! Fandom-leap:D

Marry me, Wolfy!
By Reiven

"I believe it is unwise for anyone in the kingdom to use the bath in the absence of the king, especially if they're naked. It could traumatize him for life! And what if he's the one who's naked?" Günter was aghast at the prospect of anyone seeing Yuuri naked or the other way around.

"It is none of my business," Gwendal answered simply, resuming his knitting of a blue whale, though he keeps on insisting that it's a dog.

"What if he's molested in the bath of some dark, unknown dungeon far away from civilization? What if some sinister human decided to use him as a sex slave, Gwendal? We have to do something!" Günter's long, silver hair swayed as he threw himself dramatically over one of Gwendal's unused desks, propping himself up with both arms.

"I would not worry about that," answering in a monotone voice without even looking up to meet Günter's eyes, Gwendal's hands roamed the table for the black stud that would be used for his dog-that-looks-like-a-whale's eye.

"Reall--"

"Why would anyone want to use the little imp for a sex slave anyway? I'm positive that he wouldn't last the third--"

"Gwendal!"

Meanwhile, somewhere in the baths…

"Stupid Yuuri," Wolfram brooded, hand carelessly flicking the clear water of the bath he was currently occupying. He'd been marinating in the warm, steamy waters for about two hours and he still could not get the thoughts of Yuuri out of his head. The black-haired youth had suddenly disappeared from his bathroom sometime last week and Wolfram hadn't heard a whisper of news regarding his lost fiancée since then, and as a result, Wolfram was not one happy mazoku.

His brothers, Günter and all the palace guard knew not to get in his way during this trying time. He only wished Yuuri would pop up out off thin air at this exact moment so that he could give him a piece of his mind about abandoning his country, not to mention his fiancée without warning and for so long! Who knows what exactly Yuuri is doing or has been doing whenever he goes back to Earth? He could even have a girlfriend that no one knew about. Just imagining the prospect had Wolfram wringing the thread out of the towel he was holding.

Who the hell does Yuuri think he is anyway, leaving like that without a word? He could have at least tried to sent a message (especially to Wolfram) regarding his whereabouts and what he was doing…or who he was with…or doing! Wolfram's mind began imagining all sorts of scenarios which involved Yuuri being killed in the most slow and painful way possible, preferably by his hands.

Unfortunately, his train of thoughts were abruptly derailed when the water around him began to swirl frantically, the calm, stillness became a shocking mess of waves and ripples. Wolfram was about to jump to his feet and rush out, until the bath spat out something that landed right on top of him, throwing him into the water backside first. He surfaced, spluttering and locked a glare of the thing that had hit him. But his eyes fell on the form and widened.

"Yuuri!" he yelled, recognizing the unruly black hair and quickly moved to tip over the still body from where it had been floating face down in the waters. Wolfram's emerald green eyes roamed the length of Yuuri's body, presently in its unclothed state; he assumed that Yuuri had been in his own bathtub when he was called back. Placing a hand over his fiancée's heart, he hoped to feel a heartbeat, but found none.

Scooping up Yuuri in his arms, Wolfram made his way out of the waters, placing the black-haired youth on the wet tiles as he hovered over the unconscious teen. Had he hit his head somewhere on the way? He wasn't breathing, Wolfram noted; hand cupping Yuuri's cheek as he lowered his ear near the boys' mouth. Reaching a resolution, Wolfram gently opened Yuuri's mouth, one hand pinching his nose while the other cupping his chin as he slowly lowered his mouth, lips brushing against Yuuri's. He closed his eyes, and breached the fraction of a gap that separated his mouth from Yuuri's.

- - - - -

"Kissing! Why that is completely unacceptable!" Günter spluttered, clutching his heart at the thought of just any commoner lips touching the kings' precious, full, peach coloured and royal ones.

"If his majesty is unable to protect himself of the sexual desires of some humans, then he does not deserve to even--"

"Sexual desires? I knew you were thinking of the same thing," pointing an accusing finger at the man before him, Günter narrowed his eyes. "No one should ever be allowed to lay a hand on the kings' precious, deliciously toned body…" a trickle of blood oozed out of Günter's nose as he quickly moved to wipe it away.

Gwendal merely sighed. He desperately wanted some peace and quiet from his annoying person before him. He would do anything!

"Gwendal!" Anissina's cheery screech reverberated against the hall and slipped into his room through the crack under the door.

Anything except that.

Gwendal suddenly found himself facing the inside of the locked and bolted door of his bathroom. He had no recollection of how he got there; it was like some soft of automatic response his body had developed after years of going though pain and humiliation at the hands of his childhood tormenter. Looking to his left, he found that he wasn't alone.

"Shush," he warned the equally nervous Günter, lowering his ear against the door and listening for any signal warning them about Anissina's departure, or her arrival. By signal, he meant ones such as the sounds of explosions, rumblings of any sort or the smell of anything burning/boiling/festering that would be hazardous to ones health.

"Is she gone?" Günter whispered into his ear; the thoughts of his king momentarily forgotten.

Gwendal chose not to reply, concentrating intently on the whereabouts of the redheaded woman. He thought he heard a shout somewhere near the far end of the castle, followed subsequently by a boom and the walls rumbled and he breathed a sigh of relief, but that was before Günter interrupted.

"So getting back to the topic of his majesty…"

- - - - -

"Come on, Yuuri!" Wolfram slapped him once; when he didn't respond, he slapped him again. Then slowly and painfully, the black-haired youth began to stir. Opening and closing bleary eyes as his vision attempted to focus. Wolfram slapped him a third time and all was well.

"What the hell, Wolfram?" Yuuri shot to a sitting position, glaring at the indifferent blonde.

"I was trying to arouse you," he answered simply.

"I was already awake by the last one!"

"Well, consider that punishment for leaving without telling me!" Wolfram returned his glare, arms crossed over his bare chest.

"It's not like I know when I'm going to be sent back!" Yuuri wasn't sure why exactly they were yelling, since they were sitting less than ten centimetres away from each other. Wolfram's high-pitched shouts were giving him a ringing in one ear.

"You would have at least been prepared! It's not like this is the first time it's happened. And I want to know what you've been doing on Earth for so long! Are you cheating on me, Yuuri?"

"What? Where would you even get that idea?" Yuuri suddenly realized that the he was currently naked and moved his hands to cover his modesty. He noted that Wolfram was currently sitting crossed legged with his arms over his chest, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that he was as naked as the day he was born…if the mazoku were born naked, that is. And much to his chagrin, Yuuri couldn't help but think that Wolfram looked good naked.

"Why don't you ever tell us, when I say us, I mean me, what you do whenever you're there?"

"Because it's a boring tale. I sleep, do my homework, play a little baseball and eat; day in and day out."

"W-well…you should tell me next time!"

"Can you not shout?" Yuuri could feel his voice creating an echo as it traveled through all that water that filled his ears. "What happened anyway? I don't remember reaching Shin Makoku," he added observantly, still unable to keep himself from staring at Wolfram's--a bird suddenly appeared out of nowhere, swooped down on them, hit one of the many poles littering the gigantic baths and fell into the waters with a splash. Yuuri was extremely glad for the distraction.

"That's because you were out cold," he answered gruffly, snapping his head to look at anything besides the boy before him.

Hearing Wolfram's words, Yuuri began to have a series of flashbacks; remembering that he'd knocked his head on the edge of the tub when he tripped on one of the yellow, rubber duckies his mom had put in the bathroom for him to play with. He vaguely recalled the water around him going into spin drive and…the face of an angel looking down on him. He'd though that the face and the blonde hair looked particularly familiar.

"You saved me…" he muttered, as if trying to convince himself rather than make a statement; eyes locking onto Wolfram's bright green ones. The shock, amazement and even slight admiration shining in Yuuri's eyes made Wolfram's cheeks start to heat up.

"You are the Maou…and my fiancée. I couldn't have let you drown," he said, looking away from Yuuri; less out of anger, but more out of embarrassment, though he'd never admit it aloud.

"But…but…you saved me. I've never had someone rescue me so heroically before. Sure there was that time when Conrad saved me when I first came and--You're my hero," the stars that shone in Yuuri's eyes could have cast luminescent shine over the darkest of days.

"That's just because you're such a weak idiot! Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" Yuuri asked, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his doe eyes had gotten so big, pitiful and adorable-like that Gwendal would have cooed, adopted him and called him Neko-chan.

"Like…like that! Like some weirdo!"

"But, Wolfram…you save my life. And I have to swear my eternal soul to you as gratitude," he approached Wolfram who seemed to be inching away slowly. Though once and a while the blonde's eyes would slowly lower it's gaze to rest on the sight of Yuuri's--a second bird suddenly appeared out of nowhere, swooped down upon them before slamming into the pole. Wolfram cursed the birds' existence and swore that if he had his sword at that moment, everyone would be having bird for dinner tonight.

"Wolfram…"

"What, Yuur--Argh!"

Splash!

Both fell back into the waters when Yuuri tackled, not caring that they were both naked and certain parts of the male anatomy might brush up against certain parts of the others' anatomy.

- - - - -

"But, Gwendaaaaaal!" Günter whined, casting a hopeful gaze at the brooding man in front of him.

Gwendal, for his part, completely ignored the silver-haired mazoku who was nearly brought to tears. He, personally, was nearly brought to tears; holding up the torn material, free-hanging thread and loose stuffing of the dog-cum-whale he'd been knitting earlier that had gotten tragically beheaded when he'd made his daring escape from Anissina's clutches.

"I cannot imagine his majesty losing his virginity is such a scenario! I canno--just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes!"

"Look on the bright side," Gwendal muttered, placing the mutilated doll into an empty box to be buried later that day. "This might be the only chance the boy has to lose his virginity."

"Gwendal!" Günter looked scandalized at the mere notion.

"Perhaps I should tell you," he added, wrinkling his forehead as he attempted to thread the small needle he was holding after coming to the sudden realization that his maimed handiwork could be fixed. "I saw Wolfram headed to the baths sometime ago. It has been almost three hours where he normally only takes two at most."

No words were needed after that when he felt a small breeze, heard the sound of the door slamming and Günter was gone from his sight. Gwendal gave a contented sigh and began the vital task at hand; fixing his Inu-chan. That was until he heard Anissina's shrill voice calling out to him, and seemed to miraculously find himself inside the broom closet.

- - - - -

"Yu-Yuuri…" Wolfram found himself cornered by the far end of the bath, back hitting the cool surface of the tiles. The black-haired boy looming over him almost dangerously.

There was a moment of silence as Yuuri looked at Wolfram, unblinking, the other boy doing the same. Then without warning, Yuuri lowered his head, lips catching Wolfram's in a passionate kiss. The mazoku seemed hesitant at first, but any hesitance was soon forgotten as he circled his arms around Yuuri's neck, pulling him closer; fingers running wildly through his hair.

The kiss lasted almost a minute when the two boys pulled free, gasping for breath. Yuuri's mind was yelling at him, wondering what the hell was he thinking; this is Wolfram. Wolfram is a guy and he's supposed to be straight! Ignoring the whiny little voices in his head (which on closer inspection sounded peculiarly like Günter), Yuuri studied the silent Wolfram who didn't seem to know what to make of the situation. He didn't either.

His eyes studied Wolfram; his angelic face. The way his blonde hair fell over his forehead and brushed against his broad, yet elegantly shaped shoulders, to his chest, his stomach and the anatomy coincidentally blurred by the rippling surface of the water. Wolfram Van Bielefeld was indeed a specimen to behold. It was at that moment that Yuuri came to the ultimate conclusion; one that would forever change the outcome of his life and would probably cause him to be outcast by his family, friends and society of Earth on a whole. At that moment, Yuuri gave into the rampaging teenage hormones and jumped the unsuspecting Wolfram.

They were naked and they were wet. If that wasn't a sign then may Shibuya Yuuri be damned for eternity.

Somewhere in the distant, they heard a scream. A scream laced with so much agony and heartbreak that it would go down into Shin Makoku history as the day that Günter Von Kleist suffered a lot of pain.

"HEEEEEIIIIIIKAAAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Owari

Well, that's it for my first ever Kyou Kara Maou! story. Hope you enjoyed.

Oh, and I also noticed that untrue to the title, Yuuri doesn't exactly propose to Wolfram, but what the heck. That's what you get when you put a title before you finish writing the story (something I tend to do a lot).

Review.