I have no idea what this is! It was a one shot that somehow grew more chapters somewhere along the line. I don't know where it's going, so if anyone knows, clue me in.
IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, this is yet another semi AU fic wherein Zuko chose to help Aang and crew during the season finale instead of siding with Azula. Why? I don't know—I felt like it. It's not because I think the writer's made a poor decision when it comes that particular issue. I mean come on, Zuko HAS to go back to the Fire Nation. Otherwise he (and we) may never have the opportunity to learn the answers to some of his disturbing family questions. And how else is he supposed to learn his father's real feelings for him once and for all? In closing, I hope they don't kill off Iroh.
The first time Zuko saw her, he had dismissed her as a warrior. When in battle there had been no time to look back and study each opponent any further than what type of bender they were and whether or not they were in the position to attack. Zuko had had other objectives then, and learning anything more than that would have only slowed him down.
The second time he saw her—that is, out of the realm of battle—a revelation dawned on him.
"She's just a little girl…"
He hadn't meant to say it aloud, as Katara was by his side and had clearly heard him. She looked between Zuko and Toph, her eyes lingering there with a friendly smile. "We all thought that when we first met her, too. But Toph's an amazing earthbender. She's only twelve years old and she's already practically mastered her element. She might look like just a kid, but she can handle herself better than most people." She sighed as she watched Sokka clumsily fall into the tent he was trying to set up. Toph shook her head and rose up her rock-forged shelter with the mere flick of the wrist. "Like Sokka for instance..."
"Mm." Zuko had replied minimally with dismay. She hadn't told him anything he couldn't already see for himself. She had reacted to his statement assuming he had said it with shock…as opposed to sadness.
Zuko was just nine when his uncle Iroh came to visit the Royal Palace one year, having received a month's leave from his duties. His visits were celebrated greatly by Zuko and his mother, even more so when Lu Ten accompanied him. Conversely, Azula and her father treated the affair with little more than disdain. This time the war general came alone, as he could stay no longer than a few days. Eager to catch up, Ursa had sent Zuko off to play with his sister and her friends so that the adults may talk. Zuko hated that, not only because he was forced to spend time with Azula, but because he was being treated like a child.
"It's not because they think you're a child." A seven-year-old Azula had taunted. "It's because they don't like you. But who can blame them?"
"Shut up, Azula." Zuko snapped. And things between them, as always, had escalated to a fight. And, as always, Azula had won. She hadn't even needed Mai or Ty Lee's help. A supremely frustrated and embarrassed Zuko had stalked off to find his mother, but as she was busy having a word with his father, he had sought solace in his uncle's comforts instead.
"It's not fair!" he had complained. "I train every day, I do everything I'm supposed to do. She barely trains at all and…and she can just do it!"
"Calm yourself, Prince Zuko." Iroh had said simply with a smile. "You have strong blood running through your veins. One day you will be a very powerful firebender, and your rivalry with your sister will disappear."
Zuko sighed. He certainly didn't believe that part. "But I'm nowhere near as good as her. What if I never am?"
"You can be as good as you want to be." Iroh assured. "Firebending takes practice, conviction, and passion. You are capable of offering all of those things. So you see, there is no reason you cannot become great if you are determined."
"Okay." Zuko had agreed. "Does that mean you'll teach me, Uncle? You're the greatest general in the Fire Nation, will you teach me to be like you?"
Iroh lifted an eyebrow. "As flattering as that is, Zuko, I have duties to perform. I have a whole army to lead."
"Then let me fight with you!" Zuko jumped up out of his uncle's lap with wide eyes. "That'd be great practice! I hate it here anyway!"
Iroh laughed loudly and patted his nephew's shoulder. "Prince Zuko, what a sad day it will be when we ask children to fight our wars."
The comment had bristled Zuko at that age, but he later understood. Perhaps that was what bothered him so now. All his life he had been treated as nothing more than a boy, and now he was suddenly among a group where he was the eldest, apart from his uncle of course. Even the Avatar, the one charged with bringing balance and peace to the earth, was only a child. What a sad day it is, Uncle. Zuko thought bitterly as he stared at Toph with sullen eyes.
Zuko tried to keep to himself, which surprised no one. Sokka would offer suspicious glares and mutters, Aang would sometimes attempt to strike up a nervous conversation, and Katara was the peacemaker, inviting him into the group when he stood uncomfortably to the side and chastising Aang or Sokka if they singled him out. Toph was the least subjective in the matter and said little regarding his presence. She didn't say much that wasn't either brusquely concise or painfully sarcastic anyway, so maybe it was better that she didn't. Iroh acted as though the group had always been together and often gathered them to tell stories or jokes. He and the cheery Aang got along especially, at which Zuko felt a strange twinge of jealousy.
Still, it was Toph who fascinated him the most. She was borderline abrasive, confrontational and unafraid with all the confidence of an adult. With her skill level, she was not someone easily imposed by many. Toph was tactical and alert, she treated her abilities like business, and she boasted nothing she could not accomplish. But in all consideration, she was just a child. A blind child.
"No, it's true." Iroh's voice broke out, and Zuko shook out of his thoughts to watch his uncle address the group. "Chasing you wasn't easy. In fact, you might be surprised at how little time we were actually able to devote to capturing Aang."
Zuko simmered at the use of the Avatar's name by his uncle, crossing his arms tighter against his chest as he stared nonchalantly into the fire.
"It was especially difficult when we were trapped in the woods. We had no supplies and nowhere to go for fear of someone recognizing us as Fire Nation allies. We were forced to live off of nature, which turned out not to be as easy as I remember. Especially when you mistake a very poisonous plant for a delightful tea leaf!"
"I know what you mean!" Aang exclaimed. "Living off of the forest is hard. Once we tried to rely on Sokka to catch us fish."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Sokka snapped indignantly from his spot—which was as far away from Zuko as possible.
"I didn't mean anything by it, Sokka. Just that you're a terrible fisher." Aang assured.
Sokka glared. "Gee, thanks. Glad we cleared that up."
"So you both were poisoned?" Katara interjected towards Iroh, urging him to continue.
"Well actually, it was just me." Iroh corrected as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I have…a bit of a weakness."
"What did you do?" Aang folded his arms over his knees with wide eyes, and Momo flew down to perch on his shaved head as if listening with equal interest.
"We managed to find refuge in a small Earth Kingdom village where a very nice young woman gave me the antidote. She even brought us to her home and gave us a meal. It is comforting to know that we can count on the kindness of others to help us through our hardships." He cast a knowing glance at Zuko, who was exceptionally grateful his uncle hadn't continued the tale, but more so resentful that he was equating that situation to this one.
"Yeah. It is." Aang nodded. "If it weren't for some of the people we've met on our journey, I don't think we would've made it either."
"I am sure there are a great number of people who share a similar gratitude to you, young Avatar." Iroh pointed out. "Like those poor people in the Northern Water Tribe. Or…well, to be perfectly honest, us."
"We just did what we had to." Aang dismissed.
"Yeah, okay, okay. Puppy dogs, kittens and rainbows, we get it." Toph interrupted, standing up and stretching. "I'm going for a walk."
The group watched her walk off with little incident, Iroh's eyes following her just a tad longer. "She isn't a very social young lady. That I can certainly tell."
"That's Toph for you." Sokka said as he flipped out a hand. "All bark and…uh…all bite."
"Toph just doesn't like crowds." Katara defended. "I guess when you've been alone your whole life it's hard to get used to a big group."
"Well she's not exactly shy." Sokka pointed out. "And anyway, should we be talking about her behind her back? I can't blink without her hearing it."
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I could certainly use a cup of tea." Iroh changed the subject.
Katara, Sokka, and Aang all chattered in agreement as they rifled through their supplies for cups, while Iroh produced his teapot and began brewing over the small fire pit. Zuko took the cup that was offered to him when the process was finished, purely because his uncle did in fact brew good tea. He tuned out, however, as their tedious conversation continued. He was far from okay with the fact that his uncle was spouting out every embarrassing and mundane detail of their pursuing the Avatar, however he trusted the man enough to know that he wouldn't go spilling information that could possibly shame or pry into his past. Though the humiliation wasn't much better. Even so, he stared at Iroh every now and then with a heated glare that was a mixture of childish resentment and a hint of envy. How can he speak so freely with them? Doesn't he know that they're still the enemy? He admonishes me for being private, while he spouts out our life story like it's some harmless fairy tale. He doesn't understand. He's just making himself easier to betray.
Although it was difficult to think that for long. He was full aware of Iroh's experience and wisdom, so when these thoughts would present themselves, Zuko would look away in a childlike guilt. He refused to add anything to the conversation, sipping his tea and slipping into a semi meditative state while he stared into the flames. But even that made him feel bitter. Fire had been his entire heritage, his entire source of power as well as for his nation. Now, in a depressingly apt analogy, all it was good for here was cooking a bit of tea. So instead he sighed and closed his eyes, blocking it all out.
At last he was able to forget that he was among so many people, and a wave of peace washed over him. Of course, this only lasted for an approximate second before a sudden weight thumped and clamped onto the back of his head. He opened his eyes irritably and was met by giant lemur eyes gazing back at him from a very upside down angle, and he ground his teeth. "Get off of me." He ordered. He despised the airbender's pet. It chattered incessantly and was constantly getting into the groups supplies. Feeling threatened, Momo scurried away, alighting into the air and back to the safety of Aang. Much to Zuko's relief, no one had appeared to witness the incident.
"Oh, Zuko," Iroh called. He picked up the teapot and shook it lightly. "Would you mind going down to the river and fetching some more water?"
Zuko battled a sneer and uncrossed his arms, wriggling himself up to his feet. It was better than sitting here. "Fine." He replied curtly before snatching the pot and wandering off towards the closest stream.
He was ultimately glad that he had decided to get up, as his legs were becoming stiff and the movement was clearing his head of sour brooding. He was tired of Sokka's scowls, Katara's fake smiles, and most of all Aang's genuine ones anyway. The only ones who hadn't passed some sort of judgment on him were Momo the lemur, who lacked the capacity, and Toph. But he didn't suspect she liked him much. The only times she had spoken directly to him thus far were to tell him he was in her way or that his uncle wanted to speak with him. He wondered if she resented him for being what he was, since his sister was the one responsible for the fall of Ba Sing Se. If so, he couldn't sense it in her demeanor. Though what was the point of wondering? None of these people would ever really accept him. The only person he had in the world was his uncle, an aging man who would one day too soon be gone.
Pushing the thoughts of a drab future as far from his mind as he could, he followed the sound of water and came upon the clearing through which it lay. But he was not alone. Sitting near the edge of the river was Toph, legs out in from of her and hands supporting her body behind her as she slouched and stared blankly out over the water. Ever connected to her element. Zuko looked down at the pot in his hand and pursed his lips, wondering if maybe he should refrain from bothering her and just leave, but what would he say to the others? The river dried up? He was pulled out of his dilemma quickly when Toph spoke.
"You're not very good at sneaking up on people, you know."
Zuko paused, unsure of what to say. How pathetic was it to be nervous around a twelve-year-old? "I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." He defended as he brought the teapot to the water and pretended to ignore her.
"Well you were sure staring at me long enough." She snorted in return.
Zuko shot a glance at her, only because he was sure she couldn't tell. "Fine. I'm sorry. I was just getting some water." He said in his usual monotone.
"And I thought Sokka was moody." Toph muttered. "You're both too high strung. Does it have something to do with the tight pony tails?"
Zuko hesitated for a long moment in confusion before speaking. "Actually I don't have it anymore. My hair is shorter. …How did you know I had a pony tail?" Granted, Toph's sonar-like sight was an impressive sense to behold, but he found it impossible that she could perceive past hairstyles from it.
"That's how they used to describe you." Toph shrugged.
Oh. Of course. Feeling like an idiot, Zuko shook his head.
"Other than some big freakish scar." She added unapologetically.
Zuko narrowed his eyes this time and contemplated walking off. He only managed to swallow that comment based on the fact that she had a disfigurement herself.
"So?" Toph pressed as though some question hadn't been answered.
"So what?"
"Is it really that bad?"
Zuko glared and decided that maybe it was a bad idea to approach her after all. "Is that really any of your business?"
Toph snorted loudly. "What's the difference? It's on your face for everyone else to see."
Zuko paused, then grunted. "It's a burn. And yes, it's bad."
"Hm." Toph replied, seemingly willing to let it drop there as well as losing interest in his presence altogether.
Zuko stared down into the stream at his vague reflection in which he couldn't even make out the scar and pulled the filled teapot out of the water. He certainly wasn't in any hurry to get back to the rest of the group. And since Toph didn't appear significantly bothered by him, he resolved to stay a little longer. He stared at her in his peripheral vision contemplatively. 'I guess when you've been alone your whole life it's hard to get used to a big group.' He couldn't help but wonder what Katara had meant by that. Was Toph an orphan of some sort? That would explain how she had learned to survive so well on her own with her blindness. Not to mention her less than noble appearance with her messy hair, oversized clothing not tailored to her body and her lack of common manners. But he would not answer questions regarding his past, so he didn't see fit to ask any to her. However, if he didn't start making conversation soon, she was going to wonder why it was he was still sitting here. She'd heard him fill the pot.
"Why aren't you with the others?" he demanded.
"Sometimes they talk too much." She offered in return. Then she said something unexpected. "I guess that's why I don't mind you so much. You and Appa anyway."
Zuko just stared out ahead of him. She didn't mind him is what she had said, but she might as well have said she loved him for as much as that surprised him. So she didn't resent him at all then. She didn't even dislike him. His guard went down just slightly and he rested back on his knees. "I see."
"That makes one of us." Toph leaned back on the ground with her arms behind her head, her statement given with an utter lack of bitterness or self-pity. It was a tone Zuko was very unfamiliar with.
"Why are you traveling with the Avatar?" Zuko continued.
Toph snorted. "Isn't that obvious? I'm teaching him earthbending."
"Oh." Zuko looked down, rubbing the teapot pensively. "And I guess the water tribe siblings are teaching him waterbending."
"Katara is." Toph confirmed. "The only thing Sokka could teach him is how to be a loud, obnoxious distraction."
"Hm." Zuko didn't question on the subject further because he was sure that Aang did not have a firebending teacher and he could only imagine where that would lead.
"Don't worry, I don't think any of them have the guts to ask you." Toph said as though he had spoken that concern aloud.
"A-ask me what?" Zuko returned somewhat defensively.
"You know."
Zuko paused for a long moment. "I'm sure my uncle would be thrilled to do it." He relented bitterly.
"Yeah, probably." Toph shrugged. "Just makes me wonder what you're good for. Besides getting water, that is."
Zuko almost sneered, but instead simply cast his eyes down towards the water. He couldn't say anything to protest the fact he was indeed useless to them. "I never asked to be a part of this."
"Neither was Aang, when you think about it." Toph noted distantly. "But at least he stepped up."
Zuko really was annoyed at this point. "I'm not like him, okay?"
Toph sat up, crossing her legs with her palms on her knees. "Maybe not. But you've got more in common with him than you think."
"Like what?" Zuko glared at his reflection.
Toph felt a handful of dirt in her fist and slowly poured it into the water. "You know, sometimes I think airbenders and firebenders have an advantage. I mean they don't have to be around their element—they can just create it. Earthbenders and waterbenders can't pull rock and water out of thin air, you know. Katara has to carry that pouch around wherever she goes."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You and Aang. Your elements are similar. So see, you're not polar opposites. That and….you know, neither of you really have parents."
Zuko's hackles rose. "I have parents."
"Oh." Toph didn't say anything for a long moment, frozen in thought. "You mean your uncle, right?"
"I-" Zuko began, but faltered. His irritation fell away and he found himself staring into the water again. "Yes. That's what I meant." He was tired of having to dance around his own personal questions. "What happened to your parents?" he asked as if it were a scathing rebuttle.
Toph shrugged again. "Nothing. They're still back in my village."
Zuko furrowed his brow. "You mean…you still have parents?"
"Yeah, sure. But I wasn't about to stick around there. If Aang hadn't come along I'd probably still be back there, pretending to be some little doll for my parents to play dress-up with."
So she wasn't an orphan at all. "Did they teach you to earthbend like that?"
Toph shook her head. "Are you kidding me? They didn't think I could use a butter knife without hurting myself."
"So then who taught you?"
"I did."
There was another moment of silence between them. How could she have taught herself to be a master? But just looking at her hardened body—very stiff and strong for that of a twelve-year-old—it was easy to see that she must have been bending since she could walk. No one would teach a child that young, especially a blind, seemingly helpless girl. "…When did you lose your sight?" he asked invasively, but for some reason he truly wanted to know. She could always not answer, he reasoned.
But the question didn't faze her remotely. "I don't know. I've been blind since I can remember."
"Oh." Zuko looked at her remorsefully. "I'm sorry."
"Why?" she snapped stubbornly.
His eyes grazed her reflection in the water, sitting there like some personal voyeur she would never know was there. "…You'll never see how…pretty you are." He swallowed quickly. He hadn't meant to say that, it had just slipped out. It wasn't even what he meant—not exactly anyway. Strong, imposing—all words he had been pondering before some idiotic voice in the back of his head convinced him that all little girls liked to be told they were pretty.
Toph snorted, looking put off. With a heated look on her face, she climbed to her feet, and for all her wisdom beyond her years, Zuko was quickly reminded that she was still only twelve as she tossed up her hands claiming, "Boys can be so weird." and walked away presumably back to camp. Zuko stared after her in confusion for a long time before turning back down to the teapot with a small smirk.