Author's note
I don't own any character of the show, the song lyrics are from "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch, enjoy and review !
…
"I'm breaking out of here, tonight. And I need your help"
The words that leave his mouth get to her heart before they can even get to her brain. It not like her heart is breaking, more like it gets heavier, harder. The words have cut through it, it doesn't bleed, but it's deep.
A lot of things I believed in, I just wanna get it over it...
She feels her eyes tickle, she feels her breath get short, and she still doesn't realize what he meant, what he just said, the only thing she does understand is that things will never be like they were until now, she won't see him again every day to give him his shot of insulin, now when she'll see him again everything will be different, and it will be in a long time. If she sees him again.
Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry, counting the days that pass me by...
He keeps talking, but she has trouble to listen, until requires her attention, and then she looks at him, and she can't believe he even feels like he has the right to ask her this, she plays in her head his last sentence until it makes sense. "You're asking me to break the law ?" She realizes as her voice gets louder in shock.
He defends immediately, sharp and hurried "I'm asking you to make a mistake" He corrects, he's harsh, and cold, oh so cold, his eyes are a blue frozen ocean right now, and she feels their coldness filling her and overwhelming her at a point that makes it difficult to breathe.
"Just..." He says still looking at her right in the eyes, and she'd look away if her eyes weren't glued to his, "When you leave tonight..." He pursues, "Forget to lock up."
He adds something she's not listening to as her eyes fly to the window, the cable... "This is where you're breaking out from ?"
I've been searching deep down in my soul, words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
"Yes" He answers but doesn't see why she pointed out that detail, "Or else I wouldn't need you to..."
"I was part of your plan." The realization comes so fast, so unexpected that she can't even let him finish. There she looks away, played, used, betrayed with every meaning of the term. When she looks back at him she almost expects him to deny. But he doesn't, and his eyes harden a little bit more.
"At first..." He nods coldly, "Yes"
Her eyes flee from his at the second.
Looks like I'm starting all over again, the last three years were just pretend and I say...
Her own eyes toughen, so she doesn't have to break, so she doesn't have to cry. "I needed to be here" She hears the honesty in his voice and she feels it's almost too much for her to take at the moment. "But then I... wanted to be here, with you"
She nods, and almost holds back a humorless laugh. "Right" She says and she still isn't looking at him. She's a sucker for believing him, she knows that, but if she believes him again this time, then she's just a fool.
I want you, but I'm not giving in this time and I say...
"And it's killing me to know that you'll never believe that" The pain and sudden strength in his voice almost makes her gasp, almost makes her believe him. "I know that I've done wrong by you" He says, "But my brother... he's innocent, and you know it. Please... don't let him pay for my mistakes."
That's what he wants, that's what he's been wanting the whole time, not her, just her leaving the way open for him so he can leave her behind, as everyone's done her whole life for.
And I say... Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew...
She doesn't answer, she turns away and closes the door behind her.
He made her feel right, he made her feel special, he made her shine... but she's none of those, she's not the one, she's just a key. And when she comes back here at night and unlocks the door, she realizes that truly, she's just a fool.