A/N: This is co-written with WritingForMySoul12.

Chapter One

It started out like any other day. Olivia walked into the squad room and sat down at her desk and booted her computer up and started sorting through her emails. She was just about to get up and grab her first cup of coffee of the day when the phone rang. "Benson." She wrote down the information and grabbed her gun and badge. She brought Fin along with her. She didn't trust Amanda and Nick enough yet. Fin and Olivia walked into Bellevue and headed to the registration desk and she flashed her badge. "I'm Det. Olivia Benson, this is my partner Fin Tutuola, we're hear for the rape victim."

"One moment, I'll get the Doctor for you." The nurse said.

After a minute a Doctor arrived. "Hi, I'm Doctor Owens."

"How bad is it?" Olivia asks.

"13 year old girl came in battered and raped. I will be frank with you, she was brutalized. We just got the bleeding stopped. She is scared of men so your partner should probably wait outside." Doctor Owens explained while she lead Fin and Olivia to the girls room.

"What's her name?" Olivia asks.

"Essence Rowland." Doctor Owens said. She opened the door and let Olivia in.

When she looked up from writing down the victims name and their eyes met, she felt sick to her stomach. It couldn't be. But a Mother just knows. She was seeing her baby for the first time in 13 years. And she hated herself.

Essence looked down the minute their eye's met. She didn't want to talk. It scared her that they looked so much alike. She knew she was adopted at birth and then tossed out like a dumpster baby that no one ever wanted once her adopted parents had a child of their own. She fidgeted with the IV line. She didn't know what to say nor did she want to be the first one to talk.

"Honey do you have family we can reach out to, to let them know you are here?" Olivia asked softly.

Essence panicked. "No please don't call them! You don't understand, they will blame me for this and I already blame myself enough! I was stupid!"

Olivia's heart broke. "Essence, sweetie, what happened to you was not your fault."

Essence didn't have the strength to argue with her. She just wanted her to go away.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you sweetie?" Olivia asked.

Essence contemplated for a moment before she made a decision. "I guess." She cried.

"Essence honey can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked gently and softly.

"I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to remember what happened, please don't make me."

Olivia felt so bad. Her heart dropped 10 stories. "I know this is hard but I promise you I will not let him hurt you ever again."

Essence was broken and terrified. "My foster parents t-t-t-they started screaming again. My foster dad he...he was drunk and when my foster mom passed out...I...I had to get out of there. I..I didn't want him...I mean I just had to leave. I went to the park. I should have known better. It was dark but I wanted to escape. On...on my way home there was a man and he grabbed me. He...He slammed me on the concrete and I blacked out. I..I woke up and I was so bloody and so sore...It's my fault...I should have known better. When I was coherent enough I called 911 on my cellphone...And now Im here. I can't talk about this anymore, please I want to stop."

Olivia's heart broke. She felt so much guilt and regret. She knew that if she had just kept her none of this would've ever happened. Her little girl was in so much pain. She looked so malnourished and broken. This was not how her baby was supposed to look at 13.

Olivia was having a hard time dealing with her emotions. She felt guilt, hurt and angry all at once. She thought she had made the right decision giving her baby away. And it wasn't easy for her to do. She didn't even hold her or look at her once she was born. She cried everyday for two years. And now she was reunited with her baby girl and she wanted to hold her and tell her everything. She wanted to take her home and protect her from all the evil in the world. But first she had to find the bastard to hurt her baby, kick his ass and then send him to jail.

Essence kept staring at Olivia. The woman felt familiar to her. She felt deep down that she knew this woman. She couldn't explain it, she felt drawn to her. And she didn't know why she felt that way. This woman was a stranger. Essence had been in enough foster homes to know that cops and social workers are just nice because they are being paid to. She knew once her rapist was caught she would never see Olivia again. And she couldn't explain it, the thought upset her. She couldn't help but ask where she had met the woman before. "Do I know you?"

Olivia was stunned. She didn't want to start things off with her daughter by lying to her. "We've met before." She said vaguely.

"But where?" Essence asked.

Olivia opened her mouth. The words 'I'm your Mother' were burning the back of her throat. Before the words could come out and create possibly more trauma, Doctor Owens walked in.

"Essence your foster parents are here." She said.

Essence started to become hysterical. "NNOO PPLEASEE MAKEE THEM GO AWAAYY! OLLIVVIAA" She cried out. "They will hurt me you don't understand!"

Olivia looked over at Doctor Owens and frowned and looked back at Essence.

Essence started freaking out in the hospital bed. "Please you have to make them go away!"

Olivia looked back at the doctor. "Dr. Owens please make something up about what's going on to buy time. I need to call in a favor."

"You got it." Doctor Owens said and left the room once again.

Olivia looked over to Essence. "Honey they are not coming in here I promise you."

Essence tried to calm her breathing.

"Melinda, I need a favor please meet me at Bellevue." Olivia said.

Olivia and Melinda met in the hallway outside of Essence's room.

"What's so urgent Liv?" Melinda asked.

Olivia took a deep breathe. "Do you remember the big event that happened 13 years ago?" She asked.

Melinda stared at her best friend like she was completely nuts. "Liv, what the hell does you having a baby have to do with this case?"

"It's her Mel! My baby is the victim. And I need you to do a DNA test to prove it. I know it's her." Olivia said. Her lip trembled and tears welled in her eyes.

Melinda pulled Olivia into her arms. "Has her rape kit been done already?" She asked.

"Yes, this needs to be done on the down low." Olivia said.

"I'll take your swab now and ill explain to her that she needs to be swabbed again because of contamination." Melinda said.

Melinda lead Olivia to an empty conference room and swabbed her mouth.

Then Olivia and Melinda went into the room together.

"Essence, this is a good friend of mine, Melinda Warner." Olivia said.

"Hi..." Essence said.

"Hi, Essence. I work for the lab and I'm here to take another swab of your mouth because there was some cross contamination." Melinda lied smoothly.

"Ok..." Essence said. She complied and opened her mouth and let Melinda swab her mouth.

Melinda and Olivia walked back out into the hall.

"I'll run this immediately. But I wouldn't find it necessary. She looks just like you." Melinda said. She hugged her friend and left.

Olivia wanted to go back in the room. She wanted to be there for her baby girl. She was scared to say exactly who she was to her. She didn't want to cause more trauma than she has already been through let alone she had no idea how she was even going to tell her. She walked back into Essence's room but seen she was asleep. The pain meds they gave her knocked her out, she hoped that maybe just maybe she could sleep peacefully, but working with victims she knew that wouldn't be the case. Olivia walked out of the hospital and got in her car. So many memories from 13 years ago flooded her mind. The day Essence came into this world. She tried to keep herself together. She didn't want to breakdown. Not here. Not in this parking lot. Olivia turned on her car and blared the radio to try and drown out her thoughts that were consuming every moment that was going by. She pulled out of the hospital parking lot and made her way back to the precinct to fill the squad in. When she pulled up outside of the 16th precinct, she checked her face in the mirror. She didn't think she could go in and face her coworkers looking the way she did. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her face was blotchy. She grabbed the makeup from her purse to try and cover up the fact she had been crying. Olivia didn't know how she was even going to be able to begin to work on this case. The one that was going to change her life forever.