DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Final Fantasy, any of the characters, places or the game. I do however, own a physical copy of the game, but that's all. And a PS3 that I play it on. And the wireless controller that I use to play it. And the T.V that I see it on.

Merry Christmas... I mean Happy Holidays to all. I hope you enjoy this, but if you don't leave me a review screaming at me about how Hope is the bestest and coolest and awesomest character EVAR.

Lightning had never been one for Christmas. She didn't like celebrating it and told her sister not to get her anything each year, but much to her dismay her sister didn't listen and got her something every year. She, of course bought her sister multiple gifts, but wanted nothing in return. Due to her indifference of Christmas, she tried to avoid putting up lights and a tree, but her sister came over and made her put them up. What, she questioned every year, was the point of putting up a tree if there was not going to be any presents underneath it? Her sister never listened and put the tree up anyway, Lightning rolling her eyes the whole time.

But this year was different. Fang and Vanille had come out of stasis, and Lightning had finally told her that she loved her. The feeling was mutual, of course, and this year's Christmas was the most enjoyable she's had since her parents died. Fang, Serah, and the others put up decorations, and somehow came to the census that Christmas would be held at Lightning and Fang's house this year, so for the first time ever, she had presents under her tree. She was happy to sit with Fang on the couch and just look at the tree, but quickly became paranoid when she swore that she saw a box moving. She stared at it to see if it moved again and when it didn't dismissed it and attributed it to the fact that she was hungry and must not be seeing clearly.

At dinner she saw it move again.

"Fang," She said, staring at the box, "How long can animals survive in wrapped boxes?"

"Uh, I dunno. Why, did someone wrap up an animal?"

"Look at that box right there. Do you see which one I'm talking about?"

"Ugh, yeah. That's hideous wrapping paper."

"Never mind that. Do you see it? Is it moving?"

"Moving? I should sure as hell hope not. Does Christmas make you paranoid, Light?"

She didn't answer; instead she got up and walked over to the wrapped gift. "There's no tag on it, and I don't remember this one. Who brought it?"

"Serah did, remember? She said Hope's father dropped it off because Hope was at a friend's house sleeping over. Snow had to carry it because it was kinda heavy."

Lightning nodded her head and stood up straight.

"Lets' pick it up and shake it." Fang suggested. "Maybe we could figure out what's in it." She reached for the box but Lightning stopped her.

"No, we might break it. We'll open it on Christmas. Let's go to bed." Fang complied, and turning off all their lights followed Lightning up into their bedroom.

As it turns out, sleep was on neither of their minds and they ended up doing more physical activities, more particularly having sex. To the unwanted intruder in their home, it sounded like they were lifting weights, but in reality, Fang and Lightning had no idea that someone else was in their home so they did not feel the need to quiet their moans and groans. But Lightning heard a thud that did not match the sound of Fang's head bouncing off the headboard of their bed and stopped her ministrations.

"Hey, what the hell?" Fang said moving her hips and trying to get some action.

"Did you hear that?"

"No, all I heard was your moaning. And I want to hear it again so let's go"

"No wait. I think someone has broken in." She lifted herself off Fang who groaned in frustration. Fang lifted herself up after her girlfriend and pulled on a robe, following Lightning out of the room, grabbing onto the bat that stood by their door, intent on killing whatever ruined their fun time. The quietly descended onto he last step and Fang flicked on the lights, revealing nothing.

Well nothing except a moving box.

"What the hell?" Fang muttered as she followed Lightning to it. As the box began to slightly jump upwards, Fang got in front of her girlfriend and positioned the bat.

"Hey!" Lightning shouted at the box, and almost immediately afterwards something shot out of the top of the box. Fang, with her quick reflexes, swung the bat hard enough to knock whatever it was unconscious but not kill it and it fell to the ground in a heap.

He fell to the ground in a heap.

"Oh Fuck." Fang said letting her arms drop.

"What the hell?" Lightning said, stepping up beside Fang. Hope lay on the ground unconscious, and seemingly… naked. Well at least his top half was. Fang used the bat to move the box that was covering his bottom half over a bit, revealing that is bottom half was also bare, and he seemed to have an erection.

"Oh lord." Fang gagged, turning her head away. "He's naked. Where the fuck are his clothes?"

"Not on him" Was Lightning's reply. She kicked the box back over his privates and shook her head. "He just can't leave me alone." She looked over at Fang, who was gritting her teeth. She grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers, drawing Fang's gaze to her. "I love you." She said, before pulling Fang to her and kissing her softly.

"I love you too." Fang said. She pulled away after a short while and glanced at Hope. "So what do we do about this?"

"We have to take him back to his father. Should we put clothes on him? I'm not picking him up naked."

"We do not have little boy clothes in this house." Fang said looking at Lightning. "At least I hope not."

"Well what should we do then?"

"Here." Fang said, taking her hand from Lightning's. "Let's roll him up in this." She pointed at their rug.

"What?"

"We'll roll him up in this rug and dump him-"

"In the ocean?"

Fang looked at her oddly. "I was going to say in front if his house. Why did you say the ocean?"

"Because we're rolling him up in a rug we might as well dump him in the ocean."

"Are you trying to kill him?"

"No but you sound like the mafia. They rolled people up in rugs and then dumped them in the ocean. No one else rolls people in rugs. Why would that have been your first idea?"

"Do you have any better ones?" Fang shot back. Lightning looked back down at the unconscious body and averted her gaze quickly once she remembered that he was naked. She looked at the clock on their microwave which read 12:37. They would have to drive to his father's house, as it was too late to call him.

"Ok, go get some clothes on. I'll roll him up and then we are going to drive to his father's house."

"Alright. Don't do anything funny to him, because you know that's a CRIME."

"Yes, I'm well aware." Lightning responded and Fang ran up the stairs to clothe herself. Lightning pulled their rug over to where he lay and carefully maneuvered him so he was on the rug and the box was still on him. She made sure that his head stuck out so he could breathe before pulling an end of the rug up and began rolling. She finished as Fang came back downstairs carrying clothes for Lightning to put on.

Lightning took the clothes and as she began to untie her robe Fang grabbed her wrist.

"Not here, he might sneak a peek. Do it in the kitchen." Lightning rolled her eyes before changing in the kitchen.

"I just realized. Why do we have a baseball bat in our home?" Lightning asked.

"Whadda mean?"

"I mean we have spears and knives and gunblades in our house. Why do we need a bat?"

"Because it's the ultimate home intruder weapon. Are you finished?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, go back your car into the garage so the neighbors can't see us. I don't need them asking questions." Fang said. As Lightning went out the door leading to the garage, Fang gave the rug a kick to see if he was still alive. When he stirred just a bit, she picked him up and carried him out the door to the car. She slapped him on the trunk and looked at Lightning expectantly.

"How come you didn't open the trunk?"

"The trunk? We're not putting him in the trunk! He won't be able to breathe in there!"

"It's only a short ways to his house! And it's almost one in the morning! There won't be any traffic!"

"But the roads are icy and we can't just speed to his house. We'll slide!"

"Oy vey." Fang said, pulling him off the back of the car and carrying him to the back seat. She pushed him in and closed the door, getting in the passenger seat. Lightning turned on the car and drove out of the garage, closing the door behind her and began their slow drive to Hope's house.

The silence between them was uncomfortable. Lightning shifted her eyes from the road to Fang, who was staring out the window, her eyes unreadable. Lightning moved her eyes back to the road and gently pressed the gas as the light turned green.

"I'm sorry." She said finally. Fang looked over at her confused.

"Sorry for what?"

"For this." Lightning replied, using her thumb to point at the back seat where Hope lay unconscious. "I didn't know the he was going to be like this."

"Well, I mean, look at the way you treated him during our 'adventure.' You were really nice to him, and you know how some people can take the littlest gestures and spin them into something they're not? What you thought was just being caring and motherly, he thought it was you showing him that you had feelings for him. Why he thought that a 21 year old woman would have feelings for a 15 year old boy is beyond me but whatever. It's not your fault."

"Well I love you and only you."

"And I love you too. Don't blame yourself for how he's acting. I mean you can blame the fact that you really hot, but that's more of your parents fault and not yours."

Lightning smiled and pulled into Bartholomew's driveway. Fang quickly got out of the car and pulled Hope out, walking up to the front step. She set him down on the step and turned around to see Lightning making her way up to them.

"What are you doing?" Lightning asked.

"Why are you getting out of the car? I thought we were just going to leave him here."

"On the front step? It's cold out here. He'll freeze!"

"And? This is what he gets for trying to bone my girlfriend!"

"Just pick him up. We have to explain or it will just look suspicious." Lightning rang the doorbell as Fang growled and picked up Hope, who was now groaning.

"Hurry up before he starts trying to hump me!" Fang said worriedly. Lightning repeatedly rang the doorbell until Hope's father answered, narrowing his eyes at the sight of Lightning and Fang standing in his doorway.

"What's going on?"

"We need to have a talk about your son here." Fang said, pointing at the rug she was holding. Bartholomew's eyes went from her face to the rug and he gasped.

"Hope? Come in, come in!" He ushered them into their house and led them to the couch. Fang placed Hope onto the couch adjacent to the one they would occupy, and Bartholomew went to him immediately. "Hope?" He asked, patting his face gently. "What's wrong with him? Why is he wrapped up in a rug?"

"Ah, ah, ah." Fang said as he began trying to unroll him. "I wouldn't do that mate, he's naked under there."

"Naked? I don't understand. Did you take his clothes off? Did you find him like this?"

"No, he came to us like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Sir," Lightning started, looking at him intently, "Your son was under our Christmas tree. That box that you delivered to us had him in it."

"Naked? Is this some sick joke? Did someone take advantage of him?"

"Well it's sick but it's not a joke." Fang said. "Somehow, he managed to have himself wrapped up in this box, and when you brought it over to Serah's house this morning, he was in it. That's why it was so heavy. And then he burst out of it nakedly earlier tonight, and I hit him in the head with a bat, which is why he's unconscious."

Bartholomew looked down at his son, his eyes a mixture of emotion. "You mean to tell me that my son was in this box, and burst out of it at your home?"

"Naked. You forgot the naked part. He was bare-assed naked in the box, trying to 'win Lightning's heart' as he says. Obviously your son is trying to get us arrested for the crime that is…. Uh…." She began snapping her fingers to recall the name of the crime. "What's it called again? I'm not from here."

"Pedophilia?"

"Yes that's the one! Pedophilia. Either way, his little antics are really getting on my nerves, and who knows what'll happen the next time he tries to pull a stunt like this, yeah?" She stood up and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I knew that he had a crush on you, but I had no idea that it was this bad."

"I know you didn't." Lightning said briskly, standing next to Fang.

"Sometimes he has attachment issues. I'll have to get him another therapist, maybe they can help him get over you. Once again I'm very sorry."

"Thank you, sir. We're sorry we had to wake you, have a good night."

"You too." He said staring down at his son and shaking his head. Lightning nodded once and interloping her fingers with Fang's walked out of his house and down to their car. Lightning opened the passenger side door with her free had and Fang spun around to face her.

"Let me drive." She said, holding her hand out for the keys.

"Ok," Lightning said, letting her go and grabbing the keys from her jacket pocket. She dropped them in Fang's palm, but as Fang made to slide past her, Lightning braced her other arm against the side of the car and leaned into Fang, brushing her lips against her ear. "Hurry home, we have something we need to finish." And then her tongue came out and licked the sensitive spot behind Fang's ear, making her shiver. Lightning backed away and Fang hurried to the other side of the car, ripping the door open and seemingly having the car started before she was even in it. She floored the gas and the car shot forward on the icy roads. She was driving fast enough that Lightning believed that they could've coasted the rest of the way home.

"Pull over." Lightning said heavily.

"Huh?"

"Pull over. Screw getting home, pull over."

"Light-" Fang looked over and saw that Lightning's shirt was off, revealing her bare chest. "Oh fuck me." Fang said breathlessly.

"I plan to. Pull over." Fang obliged, slamming on the brakes and twisting the wheel so that the car remained in the closest thing to a straight line. The car was turned off, her seatbelt was unbuckled and Lightning was on top of her before she could even look over to glance at Lightning's glorious chest again.

"Merry Christmas" Lightning growled, and those were the last coherent words Fang heard.

I know that this is probably full of spelling mistakes and grammar errors, but I did just write this today. It's simple and stuff and I'll try to write more profound stories in the future.

You guys are probably sick of my Hope bashing stories, so this might be the last one that I write. I just hate the idea of Lightning and him together. It's so... Gross.

Bash me if ya want, I can take it.