A Drop of Honey
This is the first fic that I've actually finished a chapter of, so please review and pleeeease be gentle. :) Hmmmm…Well, when I imagined writing a fic for the first time, I thought I'd have so much to say, but I guess I don't! Enjoy!
Note: Whenever Daffy's talking, just take away the "th" and it'll spell out the word he's saying. Heh.
Another note: Sometimes it might written in present tense, because originally that was what I had written it in, so please try not to mind if it is. Gracias.
It's an old, fifties-style burger joint. A blast from the past, you could say. But blasts from the past are normal for me; in fact, they're downright expected. When I step into Acmeville, I have to expect anything and everything. It's all just a matter of who's getting into what shenanigans. Obviously, I don't go very often.
I guess it was an impulse. Or maybe not. After all, a row of shops in a fifties setting isn't exactly inconspicuous. But whatever it was, somehow I ended up in that burger joint, where women sat with blond Shirley Temple hairstyles and holding black poodles that matched the embroidering on their long skirts.
"Weird," I said as I sat between a lone black poodle whose owner had apparently gone to the bathroom, and a female rabbit.
The poodle turns to look at me. "You tellin' me," he said, before taking a dollar from the pocket of his fur and slamming it on the counter, then leaving. The sound of the door opening and closing was accompanied by the jingling of bells.
A large, bulldog-like man approached me behind the counter. "Can I get you something?" he asked gruffly. Definitely a bulldog.
I looked at the menu. On it there was a burger and flavor of milkshake imaginable.
"Er…I guess I'll have a milkshake?"
He rolled his eyes. "What kind?" he asked impatiently. I took another look at the menu and decided to go with banana.
While the bulldog was getting my milkshake, I turned to the only other rabbit in the room, the one who was sitting next to me. She had her back turned to me, but she had gray fur and brown hair, and was sitting with her legs crossed. I rolled my eyes and sighed, wondering who Bugs was hiding from this time.
I put a hand on his shoulder. "Alright, Bugs," I said calmly. "Cut the charade, it's only me." He turned to look at me.
"You talkin' t' me?"
My eyes widened. It wasn't Bugs. She had the same Brooklyn-Bronx accent, and the same fur pattern, but she definitely wasn't Bugs.
"Did you just call me 'Bugs'?"
I put my hands over my mouth. "Omigosh, I'm so sorry!" It's not like me to talk like this, but I could only imagine how humiliated and/or angry she must have been being compared to a guy in drag.
After she realized what I had said, I was surprised to find a slow smile creeping up on her face.
"That's alright," she said. "I can see why you might seem t' think I was her—him."
"Well," I said, "if it's any consolation, most people seem to find him very pretty in drag."
Our eyes met, and we both burst into laughter. Out of the corner of my eye, which tears were slowly squeezing out of, I could see one of the model-like women eyeing us disdainfully and leaving with a "Humph!"
When we had both stopped laughing, the girl wiped a tear from her eye with a gloved hand and held out the other to shake. "I'm Honey."
The name rang a bell (quite literally; I could see a bell over my head that I had to brush away irritated), but I ignored it. "Lola."
I sipped from the straw of my milkshake, which had been set in front of me just a moment ago and tasted like liquefied air. Grimacing, I took a look at what Honey Bunny was having; a coke. I raised an eyebrow and pointed at it, asking how she had gotten it.
She giggled. "You're not from around here, are you?"
I sighed. "Is it really that obvious? Usually I just come with my boyfriend. I still can't really tell how it works here, even though I've been coming for years."
Honey gulped down her soda. "That's why you're here, then? With your boyfriend?"
I sigh. "Looking for him, actually. He told me he was coming down here, but that was hours ago. I probably shouldn't worry, but he tends to get into a lot of trouble when he's down here.
Honey Bunny gave me a look that I couldn't read.
"So," she said casually. "Who…who is your boyfriend?"
I smiled softly. "Bugs Bunny."
She nearly choked on her coke. I patted her back as she coughed. People have been known to react dramatically when I tell them that I am in a romantic relationship with one of the most famous Looney Toons of all time, but never to the point that they sat choking across from me, eyes bulging like only a toon can pull off.
When she looked up at me, she was smiling sheepishly and still coughing.
"Sorry about that," she said.
"No problem," I replied, still rubbing her back. She stood.
"Come on," she said. "I saw a burrowing hole not too far back that might be his.
We stepped outside and walked around, looking for the hole, which was fairly difficult considering we were in a desert and yells of "Meep meep!" could still be heard in the distance. We asked the Natives (all of whom Honey knew surprisingly well. It amazed me that she was so well-known in Acmeville when I had never even heard of her) but all of them seemed to point in a different direction.
"It's hopeless," I said after a few hours. "It's okay, Honey, you can go if you want. Thanks for trying to help."
"No, no, no," she said, "I couldn't possibly do that, and leave you out here alone in Acmeville. There are some crazy people out here."
Well, I couldn't argue with that logic, especially as I watched a no-faced robot chase after a puppy. But still, I wondered why she wanted to help me so much.
"Simple," she said with a wink. "Girl toons gotta stick t'gether. We're a rare breed, you and I."
Just then, we heard a voice that was all-too familiar to me. "I claim thisth planet, in the name of Earth!"
I turned my head and looked at the space-clad duck. "Shut up, Daffy."
Said space cadet looked up at us from his task of sticking the flag with a picture of Earth into the ground.
"Oh, thso it'sth little missth perfect," he said, spit flying from his beak. He glared at me as he walked over to us. Then he caught sight of Honey and grabbed her hand, hearts forming in his eyes. She smirked amusedly.
"Madmoisthelle," he said, "I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you."
"You just spit on my hand," replied Honey coolly, carefully peeling off her soaking glove and taking another out of the pocket of her modest skirt. Just as quickly as the hearts had appeared in Daffy's eyes, they vanished and narrowed.
"Oh yeah, I remember you. Haven't thseen you around in a while. What'sth it been—20, 30 years?"
"Just about."
"What bringsth ya back? Ya weren't missed, that'sth for sure."
"Get lost, duck," I said, because from the look on Honey's face, that was the worst thing he possibly could've said to her.
I supposed she recovered quickly, though; she gave me a long look and then said to him (though with her eyes still on me); "I can see that."
Because Daffy looked as though that was enough for him to say, I said again, "Get lost, duck."
He grinned proudly. "Can't, sthweetie. I claim this planet in the name in the name of Earth."
I blinked. "Uh, this is Earth, Einstein."
"Can't be," he said. "I saw this crater not too long ago, in my exthpeditions."
Honey raised her eyebrows. "Crater?" she said.
"Yeah, right over—hey! Where are you going?! I swear, you better not be going to report to that damn Martian! Freaking SPIES! I knew you were just trying to pull my leg, but it's too late! I claim this planet in the name of Earth!"
"Bye, Daff!" I called as we ran in the direction he had been pointing in.
"And by the way," said Honey. She turned to look over her shoulder at him. "I don't know if you've been in space too long t' realize, but," she smirked at him. "It's duck season."
"What!"
Well, that's it! Tell me; was Daffy too difficult/annoying to understand? If he was, I'll try fixing that next chapter, but I just wanted to make it apparent that he was still Daffy, and not some non-lisp-having regular duck. Anyway, review, pwease!