Jessica Ruiz looked at the piece of paper she held for the fourth time. It was a print out of an ad she'd found online.
It read, Roommate wanted: no slobs, no booze or drugs, only the strong need apply, and an address. No name, no insight into the weird requirements.
She knocked on the door, words forming in her mouth. She had pre-prepared her roommate application speech. With a squeak, the door opened and she began.
"Hello! I am applying for the roommate, err, spot? I'm very tity and I don't drink or smoke and I can lift seventy-five pounds without breaking a sweat!" she said.
"Jessica?" was the reply.
"Danny Rebus?" Jessica couldn't believe her eyes, "Y-you placed the ad?"
"Well I'm so glad you remembered my name, you and your company never seemed to care for those beneath your station," Danny snorted.
"Beneath our station?! What, are you stuck in Victorian times?" she held up her hands, "Look I don't have time for this-"
"Wait!" Danny shuffled his feet, "You can have the position."
"What?"
"You can live here," he paused, "as my roommate."
"Oookay, what's going on here?"
"I put the ad online two months ago and your the first person to apply, if I don't get a roommate soon, I'll be forced to move in with-" he shuttered, "Manny Spamboni."
"Eeww," Jessica agreed.
"Yes, very 'ew',"
"So when can I move in?"
Danny grinned, "Does tomorrow work?"
One month later, Jessica sat on the couch attempting to watch Friends or Aunts, Danny was cleaning.
"Move your feet Jess!" he said, standing in front of her with a broom.
"M'kay, but move, you're blocking the Lightning Round," Jessica leaned around him to put her can of soda on the coffee table.
"Jessica!" Danny cried, "Use a coaster! You will get rings on the table!"
He sighed, "Please be more considerate."
"Sorry, Danny," Jessica turned to grab a coaster, and to hide her eye roll, "So why are you cleaning so much? I mean, more than normal."
Danny Rebus, she'd discovered, was a neat freak and a germaphob. Normal cleaning schedules included dusting, sweeping, wiping down every flat surface, sweeping again, cleaning the bathroom, and ferbreezing everything.
When she'd moved in a month ago, Danny had divided the chore list but quickly grew inpacient with Jessica's cleaning style. She was never thorough enough. Soon he was doing all the clean and she all the grocery shopping and cooking. Jessica thought it was a good trade, Danny burnt water.
"I have someone coming over for dinner tonight, remember? You promised to make yourself scarce. Leave or become a silent hermit in your room," He replied.
"Riiight, yeah, of course I remember!" Jessica lied, "When should I leave?"
"Five o'clock," he said matter-a-factly, "My date is coming over at five thirty. Did I say date? I meant friend. My friend is coming over at five thirty."
"Oooh somebody's flustered!" she teased, "Who's the lucky lady? Or dude."
"Lady, and it's no one you know."
"So you should have no problem telling me her name!"
"Err, it's amphy rambler," he mumbled.
"What? Didn't quite catch that."
"It's Annie Scrambler okay!"he half yelled.
Jessica blinked, "Seriously?"
"Yes," he pouted.
"Danny that's great! You guys would be so great together!"
Danny was pleased by this decoration, "I like to think so," and he continued to smile like a stupid idiot for the rest of the afternoon as he cleaned.
Five thirty quickly came and Jessica found herself pushed out of the apartment onto the street with only her laptop bag and the instructions not to come back until Danny texted her.
She wandered aimlessly. Until she found a bench in front of a nondescript apartment building. Sitting she started to listen to her iPod, ear buds blotting out the world.
Jessica wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there when someone poked her shoulder.
"Jess? What are you doing here?" Keith Watson asked.
"Keith? What are you doing here?" she countered.
"I live here," he gestured to the building, "I thought it was you when I looked out my window, but I had to be sure."
"Oh. My roommate had a date and kicked me out for the evening," she explained.
"That's right! You just moved! How's that going? Who are you rooming with?" Keith asked.
Jessica paused, "Don't judge, but Danny Rebus is my new roommate."
"Danny Rebus! Well, imagine that," Keith chuckled, "Hey, do you want to come inside? I mean, just until Danny's done with his date."
"Gee, Keith, thanks!" Jessica said as they walked up to his apartment, "And you'll never guess who his date is with!"
"Who?"
"Annie Scrambler!" she laughed and they climbed the stairs up into the building and into their future.