CONTEXT
Prologue
05.08.2006
Lost. Undone. That is how I feel. Like a grain of sand on this shore indistinguishable from billions of its sisters and at the mercy of the tide. My clothes and shoes are wet. This water is cold. I am shivering. I do not care. I wonder how long I have been sitting here? It has been hours since I watched the sun go down.
Why is this happening? Why is he doing this to me? Can I not change his mind? I have never had questions before. I do not know the answers. I do not even know how to find answers.
I have lived the way he wanted me to for as far as I can remember. And now he wants me to be... happy? I do not know how.
I rest my head on my knees for a moment, I feel so weary. What is this – thing – pressing down on my chest? It is so heavy I cannot breathe. I remember his words, his face - as he spoke them:
"Rei, I promised her I'd do right by you so I want you to go. You are free from any obligation here. You may do as you wish. You are to live with Major Katsuragi. You are to be happy. That is an order."
My cheeks are wet.
He has ordered it.
But I do not know how.
"Rei!"
A voice is calling me. I look up and see the Major. She is waving to me, calling me. I remember, the Commander said she would pick me up. Will she be able to help me?
I stand up and brush the sand from my legs. It takes some time for me to do so. Large amounts of it have lodged near my crotch. I walk to Major Katsuragi's car, my feet squishing in my shoes. I wonder if she will mind the dirt and water. I stop; surprised at this thought. Why did I care what she thought? I do not think I ever used to.
"Katsuragi-san," I say to her, "I am going to soil your car."
She looks me up and down, taking in my appearance. Then she smiles. "That's okay, Rei. Climb aboard and let's go home. You can wash up there. Are you cold? Here."
I nod my head, surprised, when she quickly takes a blanket from the trunk and drapes it across my shoulders. I feel warm suddenly and put a hand to my cheek. They are dry now, and I think, flushed. I move to get into her car. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She gets in with me and shuts the door. She revs up the engine. "Are you ready?"
Ready? I do not think so but I nod just the same.
"Then let's go." She quickly switched gears and slammed her feet on the gas. I was pushed back into my chair. I did not grab something to hold though I wanted to.
My balls are in my neck, it is hard to swallow.
I think that is what Ikari-kun once said about Katsuragi-san's driving.
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A/N:
I have been thinking about this for a while now but am wondering if it's worth a shot. Rei is hard to write because there isn't very much to go on so I would appreciate it if you would tell me what you think. And I cannot come up with a worthy explanation of why Gendo would let her go so I kept that vague deliberately.
I originally thought this was an AU because I didn't know where to place this in the Eva timeline. But now that I have had time to think, I believe it's more of a continuation of the Eva story. And that's mainly because there is no way Gendo would release Rei during Eva's own timeline.
Please let me know what you think. Thanks!