Author: Coffin Of Hope
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Degrassi. If I did, Paige and Alex would still be together. Nor do I own any of the lyrics used. They are property of their prospective owners. I'll make an author's note at the end of each chapter noting which songs are whose. You can take that gun away from my head Mr. Lawyer…
"Everything In Transit"Chapter One: White Lines
I tried to tell you I've got to get awayI tried to say I need my space
I've got to get some distance in between
My heart and my head
The hardest thing I ever did was walk away from her. At the time, it was the right thing to do. We were going in different directions. I knew that if we stayed together it would all fall apart in one big catastrophe. Despite having so many reasons to end things with Paige, not a day goes by that I don't regret it.
They say you never know what true happiness is until you have truly loved, and that you can't understand what pain really is until you lose that love. It's true. I miss her. I miss everything about her. The way she'd roll her eyes when she got annoyed, or thought something was just completely ridiculous. The way she'd smirk when I made a sarcastic comment. That gorgeous half-smile she'd give me whenever I did something affectionate. The way her eyes would turn lavender as she hovered above me in the bed, her lips almost touching mine. The silky, smooth feeling of her skin under my palms. But most of all, I missed that safe feeling I felt whenever I was in her arms. I always felt like we were invincible, like nothing could touch us. Everything made sense when we touched. Every hard day we faced, every glare, every crude comment, every punch, every blow…they all seemed like spilt milk as long as I could hold her in my arms at the end of the day.
Paige and I, we fit. We were complete opposites, and yet, we fit perfectly. She was different. Different from everyone I'd ever dated. Paige and I were real. Every other relationship seemed like just a façade, a mask put on in front of the crowd. With everyone else I had been simply "So-and-so's Girlfriend." But with Paige, I was Alex. I felt more like me when I was with her than I did when I was with me. And she was Paige. We were Palex. We were inseparable. Key word "were."
I figure by now, she's moved on. After all it is September, and we broke up at the end of May. She's away at Banting and I haven't heard from her since the day before she left. I was at The Dot with Craig, Manny, and Ellie and she walked over and said a simple hello, carrying on a conversation with everyone else. But when it came time for her to leave, she asked if I would walk her to her car. So I did. She told me she'd miss me, and that she'd visit. Then she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. My cheek still burns. I think she left a scar. I can't see anything there when I look in the mirror, but I swear I can feel something there. Maybe it's just a ghost. A tiny ghost of Paige's love left on my cheek as a reminder of what I gave up.
Yeah, that sounds about right.