REAL

Chapter One

Her bedroom surprised him. Part of his reaction was due to his astonishment at getting to see her bedroom at all. In spite of his vague hopes and all too vivid dreams, he never expected to see the inside of Alex Eames' bedroom. He certainly never expected to be in her bed with Alex's beautiful, supple, naked body curled up on his not so beautiful, not so supple, but equally naked body. Bobby was skeptical of formal religion, but he held a vague faith in a supreme being of some sort, and he fervently thanked him/her/it for the fact that he'd made love with Alex last night, that he'd told her that he loved her, and, most amazingly and wonderfully, that she'd told him that she loved him. He slept well—for him, remarkably well—after their coupling, and he knew that Alex's presence calmed him and drove away the monsters and demons that usually chased and cursed him in his dreams. He wasn't sure what woke him up—perhaps the sound of birds outside Alex's windows (Bobby usually woke before the birds and somewhere where other sounds covered their songs)—but he knew it wasn't a nightmare. And he was tremendously grateful for that.

His body expressed a basic need, and Bobby moved to slip from Alex's arms. She stirred slightly and hugged him; Bobby's heart soared.

"She wants me," he thought. "She doesn't want me to go."

His body, unfortunately, wouldn't be denied. He moved carefully and managed to slip his pillow into Alex's arms to replace his body. She frowned, wrapped her arms around the pillow, and drew it to her. When he returned from the bathroom, Bobby gazed down at her. The pale light from the window had grown, and the open window let in the chilly morning air. Bobby pulled on his boxers and T-shirt, reasoning that Alex could always have the pleasure of removing them if she wanted. He got back in the surprisingly large bed—bigger than his own—as silently and stealthily as he could. He replaced the pillow with his body without waking her, and his heart soared again when Alex hugged him. He gently nuzzled her hair, desperate to sense all that he could about her. Her hair felt like silk and smelled of lavender. Bobby held her tenderly and tentatively; he was afraid that if her held her too tightly she might disappear. He was so happy he couldn't begin to contemplate sleep.

As the light grew stronger, his natural curiosity—or snoopiness—came into play. His chin resting lightly on Alex's head, he surveyed her bedroom. There was a large, sturdy cedar chest covered by a quilt at the foot of the bed. The curtains were functional, and the room's dominant color was a middle of the spectrum blue. The only things Bobby saw to suggest the gender of the room's occupant were perched on the top of the large chest of drawers in a corner. A massive, absurdly cute black and white panda dominated the center position. It was the sort of ridiculous stuffed animal boyfriends spent equally ridiculous amounts of money to win for their girlfriends at carnivals and fairs. Bobby wondered briefly if Alex's late husband was one of those boyfriends. A smaller, ferocious bulldog dressed in a NYPD uniform flanked the panda's right. Bobby had never seen a stuffed toy quite like it, and reasoned it must have been a custom made gift for Alex, probably from her family and probably to commemorate her graduation from the Academy or getting her gold shield as a detective. It was the last stuffed animal that fascinated Bobby. At the panda's left rested a small dog. At one time the cheerful looking creature must have been a vibrant red, but the years had faded its coat to a shade just the side of pink. The dog's exterior was worn all over, and Bobby thought the wear came from more than just time. This was a toy that was loved, that a little girl held through illnesses and nightmares; that a teenager whispered secrets to; and that a young woman revealed her grief and fears to. Bobby smiled. He always knew that a great heart beat inside Alex's tough skin; last night she'd shown some of it to him, and he thought that this little red dog had traveled that heart's journey. Alex stirred in his arms, and Bobby tenderly kissed her head.

In the next few days and nights Bobby became more familiar with Alex's home. She didn't object to his snooping and actually seemed to welcome his interest in her life. One morning on a spring day when they had time off, Bobby wandered over to the drawers while he waited for Alex to emerge from the shower. He lifted the panda's enormous arms, examined the bulldog's amazing accurate uniform, and tenderly picked up the red dog. He smiled as he realized that this was a deeply loved toy.

"Hey." Alex's bemused voice broke in on his thoughts. "Be careful with my toys."

Bobby carefully returned the dog to its place. The care he took in handling the toy touched Alex.

"I bet," she smiled. "That you've already got theories about where these came from."

Bobby blinked and grinned. "I'm afraid so."

Alex curled up on the bed. "So tell me, Mr. Holmes…What can you tell me about these creatures?"

Bobby's hand hovered over the panda. "This is the youngest…It's one of those things you win at a carnival or fair…This one probably…" Bobby stopped, aware that this was not just some exercise to Alex. "Look…Alex…I don't want to dredge up anything…"

"You think," Alex said. "That an old boyfriend…" She softened at the realization Bobby didn't want to hurt her. "Or my husband…"

He nodded.

"Don't worry." She smiled. "But I'm afraid you're wrong. I won that. But you're sorta right at the same time. A boyfriend…well, he hoped to be a boyfriend…He was trying to impress me by winning it…It was one of those galleries where you competed shooting against other people…I was at the Academy and I was one of the best shots in my class." She laughed proudly. "I beat the would be boyfriend and about a dozen other guys."

"Wow," Bobby said admiringly. "I can understand why you kept it." He turned to the bulldog. "Let's see if I can do better with this one." He studied the toy. "A gift for getting through the Academy? Or making detective?"

Alex smiled. "Making detective. There's a lot of cops in the Eames family. We've got some sergeants and lieutenants, but I was the first to get a gold shield, and it was a major event. My sister-in-law who's married to my brother the cop made it."

"But it's in uniform," Bobby frowned.

"You don't miss much, do you, Goren? My brother insisted…Said I needed to remember my roots." Her expression saddened.

"Something wrong?" Bobby asked gently.

"Just…just…" Alex looked out the window, but Bobby knew the view wasn't in her thoughts. "Joe…he never liked that dog…" She finally said. "It was one of the few things we argued about…He seemed to think it was a reflection on my outranking him…He wasn't usually like that."

"I'm sorry," Bobby said.

"It's ok," Alex smiled again at him. She curled her legs under her body. "The red dog…Tell me about that one."

"Ah…this little fellow." Bobby brushed his fingers across the worn cloth. "This is the really special one…You've had him since you were a kid…a very young kid…He was probably a Christmas or birthday present…You've kept him all these years…You love him enough that you're willing to take anything anyone might say about him…" Bobby considered his words. "Of course he might be a she."

Alex grinned. "She's a she."

"Sorry about that," Bobby apologized. "SHE is clearly a loved toy." He glanced at Alex. "Did you ever read THE VELVETEEN RABBIT?"

Alex thought for a moment. "Oh, yea…That's the story about the stuffed rabbit that the little boy loved so much that the toy became a real rabbit, right?"

Bobby nodded. "This toy…this toy is real."

Alex fought against the lump forming in her throat. Bobby's manner and voice told her that the story meant a great deal to him. "You got that right," she said shakily. "I think I got him when I was three for my birthday." She rose from the bed and walked towards Bobby. He stepped out of her way, and she picked and held the dog with great affection. "I can't remember not having her." She looked bashfully at Bobby. "Her name is Lassie."

Bobby struggled not to laugh. "C'mon," Alex smiled. "How many dogs' names does a three-year-old know?"

"Point taken," he answered.

"She went everywhere with me…My Dad always said I was the easiest going of his kids, but heaven help everyone if Lassie got lost…and somehow, she never did…She's been with me all of these years. Through those teenage storms…through college…I broke up with a couple of guys who made fun of her…"

"Noted," Bobby said gently. "Do not pick on Lassie."

Alex looked at the dog for a moment. "When Joe was murdered," she said deliberately and softly.

Bobby held his breath; Alex had spoken of her late husband only in passing, and he sensed she was about to make a great revelation to him.

"That night," Alex continued. "I lay in bed and sobbed and sobbed…and just held on to Lassie. She got me through a lot of nights like that…" She tenderly touched the tip of the dog's faded nose and placed her back in her place.

Now Bobby fought against the growing lump in his throat. "Yea," he managed to say. "Lassie's real."

Alex looked at him, and Bobby didn't care if the lump choked the life out of him. "I hope she's not jealous," Alex said calmly. "I haven't needed her much lately…I've had you to hold on to."

End Chapter One