A/N: Most people are lucky to get one birthday fic for their birthday, but some assholes get two. Sorry, this is so ridiculously, obnoxiously late, but happy fucking birthday, again, Iluvenis—I promise it isn't riddled with CFOMC.

NOTE: Timing is tricky in this story, as it jumps around quite a bit, backwards and forwards. Everything takes place in the same year 2018, unless it specifies last year, two years ago, etc.

.

.

.

Last week of February, 2018

The hired town car pulled to a stop in front of the luxury high-rise building, causing a flurry of cameras to start flashing, as the reporters and their crews gathered at her door. She couldn't say she was surprised by the influx of paparazzi, considering the rather public showdown that had occurred in the lobby of the building yesterday. She let out a silent sigh of relief that the car windows were tinted, it allowed her time to make sure she looked flawless before stepping out to face them. After slamming her compact shut and shoving it into her purse, she pushed the bridge of her trademark, oversized sunglasses up, so that they covered most of her face. Her assigned chauffer, Carl, quickly stepped around the car and fought his way through to reach her side.

She derived a perverse pleasure from all this attention. Despite the fact that this situation was far from desirable or ideal, she was going to milk it for all it was worth. Who knew how long her name would be on the lips of all of Manhattan? As Carl held her door open, the doormen rushed to help make a path for her to get into the building. None of that, however, drowned out the sound of questions being shouted out at her or the clicking of the cameras. She wished Chuck could come down and meet her at the car, if only to take a little pressure off of her, but she doubted he was home yet. Instead, she made no eye contact and slowly pushed her way through the crowd towards the safety of the lobby entry.

"How long has your affair with Chuck Bass been going on?"

"Please tell us about your relationship with Mr. Bass."

"Did Blair Bass assault you?"

"Do you still feel safe now that Blair Bass has been released from custody after attacking you yesterday?"

"Miss Humphrey, do you consider yourself a home wrecker?"

"What does your stepmother think of all of this?"

The questions went on and on, but none of that mattered. Jenny had long stopped showing any sign of reacting to what got yelled at her, even though the comments and questions ranged from the inane to malicious. Her face had been plastered on the cover of every tabloid and reputable paper in the city, inserted between an artfully torn photo of the former King and Queen of the Upper East Side. The first day the press had started to follow her, she had been called every vile name in the book. But even that had not made her back down or lose confidence in her decision.

No, what had tipped her over the edge to break down into tears, was a group of girls from Constance. They had cornered her as she was about to enter her (old) apartment building and staged a misguided intervention of sorts. First, she had been informed that they had removed any trace of her ever being Queen. Next, the girl Jenny had pegged as the current Queen, snottily said, "You broke the rules of The Girls of the Steps. Blair Waldorf made you, and you betrayed her." Finally, they proceeded to pull out bottles of nail polish and dumped it all over her beautiful, white, Marc Jacobs trench coat.

Jenny had run up the stairs to her small studio apartment, curled up in bed and sobbed herself to sleep. That first day had been just a glimpse of what was to come, and for a brief moment she actually wondered if it was all worth it. But then she remembered why she had jumped into the fray to begin with—her future.

She shook herself from reminiscing about the events from almost a month ago, and made her way out of the private elevator and into her infinitely more luxurious and current home.

"Chuck?" Jenny called out. That she was met with silence was no surprise, Chuck rarely made it home before seven p.m., and it wasn't even five. She slipped off her sunglasses, and threw them on top of purse that landed on the couch. She made her way to the bar in the living room—it was large, well-stocked, and had plenty of bourbon. She had spent years trying to make scotch her drink of choice, she thought it would make her appear more edgy and daring, but she could never quite stomach it. However, bourbon was sweeter and smoother, and it suited her just fine. She grabbed a tumbler, and dropped a couple of ice cubes in it, before pouring a generous amount of Michters and took a big gulp.

Her cell phone started to ring, as she plopped onto one of the oversized armchairs. She looked at the screen and let out a whine of annoyance. Dan. It was bad enough she had been lectured by her father over lunch. Rufus hadn't even let her get a word in edgewise. The only saving grace was that Lily hadn't come with him.

"What?" She said with annoyance, in lieu of a proper greeting.

"Jenny?" Her brother said.

"Yeah, Dan. What can I do for you?"

"Can't your big brother just call to see how your doing?"

She said nothing.

"C'mon, talk to me. I'm worried. I just heard about what happened yesterday, are you ok? I'm sure whatever Blair did, she didn't—."

"You were so worried that you haven't returned my calls, texts or emails for the past three weeks?" Jenny snapped bitterly, as she blinked away her tears. She couldn't believe Dan was defending Blair, she was his sister, for Christ's sake. "Ahh, yes, let's get to the real reason you're calling, it took less than sixty seconds for you to bring up her name. Worried about your precious Blair, are you?"

It was a stab in the dark, just another way for her to be unnecessarily cruel in hopes of deflecting the flood of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. But there was no denial on her brother's lips, instead an awkward pause of silence. Jenny had suspected, after all, who writes a book and a sequel based on a person if she didn't have some sort of hold on you? It was unfortunate that it appeared her brother had never really gotten over Blair. Though, she couldn't quite fault him, it's why her schoolgirl crush on Nate Archibald had never entirely faded—how could it? She had always been thisclose, and the opportunity always seemed to just slip away.

"Where is this animosity coming from?" Dan finally sputtered a full minute later. "I'm calling you, because you're my sister. And imagine my surprise to see the paper and read that Blair attacked you and you had her arrested? Inside your new home? Why didn't you call me?"

"Why would I call you? The last time we spoke you made it clear you thought I was a home wrecker and you've refused to speak to me since," she reminded him pointedly. "Excuse me if I wasn't so keen on reliving your judging me again without you letting me explain myself."

"This isn't who you are. You don't go around sleeping with married men."

"You're proving my point for me, Dan. How can I talk to you, when you were against me going to Chuck to ask him for money in the first place? I had no idea that the business meeting we had last year would eventually lead to all this. And now I'm all alone, and have no one."

"Alone? You have Chuck, who you conveniently forget is married to someone else," Dan snapped back at her.

No! Jenny longed to scream, everything was like she said—she had no one. She wanted to laugh at the thought of Chuck being there for her. But instead of giving anything away, she remained silent. Had her brother shown her any compassion after she had accepted Chuck's proposition, she would have told him the truth. But instead, Dan had been his good old, reliable and self-righteous self. It had reminded her how isolated she felt around her father and brother sometimes—as if she was somehow a bad person for wanting things. She longed to confess in Dan—remembering a time when she had adored and idolized him, and had been so proud that he was her big brother. She often wondered when they had grown so far apart.

Dan sighed loudly. When he spoke again, his tone had softened. "I don't want to fight with you, Jenny, because we're clearly not going to see eye to eye on the situation. But at the end of the day, we're family and I love you. Are you sure this is what you want?"

She reached for the glass of bourbon that had been neglected for too long and took a greedy sip. With a deep breath, she sealed her own fate. "I know you find this hard to believe, Dan, but I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm almost twenty-five, nearly a quarter of a century. And despite what you think, Chuck didn't trick me into doing anything or compromising myself. This was my choice."

"Blair didn't hurt you, did she? Dad wasn't exactly forthcoming about what happened, and I read that she punched you?" Dan asked. She could hear the concern in his voice.

"No, it was nothing like that. She showed up, we exchanged words, she pulled my hair, I pushed her off of me, she made threats, and I called the police. Simple as that." She heard the elevator ding, and quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. "Chuck just got home, I have to go."

"Let's do lunch later this week, ok?"

"I'll think about it." Jenny didn't bother to say goodbye and hung up her phone. When she looked up, she found Chuck staring at her in irritation. "What?"

"I told you to have Carl drive you into the garage to avoid the press, but you just have to grab every last second of the spotlight, don't you?" Chuck hissed.

"Oh please, you want me to fuel the fire that your crazy wife did physical harm to me? Pfft. No thanks. I thought you said security in this place was top notch, how the hell did she even get in?"

"It's Blair," Chuck stated, as if that explained everything.

Jenny saw his eyes soften just the slightest hint, and for the umpteenth time, she wondered why he was doing this.

"You brought this on yourself," he informed her. "Maybe, if as I suggested when you moved in, you kept a low profile, we could have avoided yesterday's incident altogether."

"If we're going to go that route, then I believe I told you that I didn't think it was wise for us to live together, to begin with."

Chuck snorted as he rolled his eyes. "We're roommates, if you could even call it that. You knew the terms of the deal, if you wanted the money at the rate we discussed to fund your fashion line, you needed to do as I said."

"You know what I meant," she snapped back forcefully.

"Ahh, there it is. I should've realized this earlier. Could these acts of rebellion be attributed to frustration of the sexual variety?" Chuck smirked. He shot her a patronizing grin. "If you'd like, I could call a service—they'll find someone discreet. I'm sure they have a Nate look-alike on hand. Say the word, and I'll make the call—foot the bill, even."

"I hate you Chuck!" Jenny shrieked. Filled with rage, she took her half-drunken glass of bourbon and flung it at his head.

He took a step to his left, and just managed to miss getting hit dead on. The amber liquor splashed against the cream colored wall and onto his jacket, the glass shattering on the floor.

"Clean that up," he ordered icily and then turned on his heel and went down the hall into his study.

Jenny closed her eyes and let out a scream. Then, she collected herself and went back to the bar and poured herself another glass of bourbon. She'd finish her drink and pretend she wasn't going to clean it up, but she knew she would. Just like she would keep bitching to herself how this was all Chuck's fault, when the truth of the matter was, she was just fulfilling her end of their deal. Little did she realize that in a few weeks, she'd recognize this evening as when she first saw chinks in what she had believed to be Chuck's impenetrable armor.

.

.

.

Last week of January 2018

"Blair, we need to talk," Chuck said quietly.

She turned around to stare at him, wondering why she felt a prickle of dread run up her spine. She knew he had only been pretending to be okay that she had gone away with Serena on the heels of his return from his business trip. "Let me fix you a drink—."

"That won't be necessary," he cut in.

Blair raised an eyebrow at his tone. Instead of flashing her a sheepish grin, his face was impassive as he walked past her and headed towards the living room. The irritation she felt was undeniable, but she knew something was off. The four day spa treatment had helped her come to the conclusion that she should stop putting off telling Chuck her secret. Deep down inside, she knew Chuck would understand, and her guilty conscience was reminding her of that very fact. For a second, she wondered if Chuck knew—could that be the reason for his behavior? With a tinge of trepidation, she made her way down the hall and sat down at the other end of the couch he occupied.

It would go much better if she just came clean right away, instead of trying to figure out what he knew. She took a deep breath and just dove in head first, "Listen, Chuck—."

"No, me first," he interrupted.

She looked up to find him staring straight ahead, he wasn't even looking at her, but his jaw was clenched tightly.

"Blair, it's over between us," Chuck said when he finally spoke a minute later.

"Ex—Excuse me?" She stammered.

"You heard me."

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, what's over between us?"

"It, as in our marriage. I'm leaving and I want a divorce."

"Is this your idea of a sick and twisted joke?" She asked carefully. If he knew her secret, and this was his way for punishing her about it, he had chosen a rather dramatic fashion to do so.

"No," he answered. He turned and looked at her. "I couldn't be more serious. I'm exhausted from our relationship and I want out."

"And where exactly is this coming from? Because as far as I can recall, you were pretty damned invigorated when you told me on our anniversary, you were ready to start a family. And you've put on a pretty convincing show of enthusiasm in your efforts to insure I get pregnant."

"I'm not going to deny that I enjoy sex with you, it's always been a large part of our relationship," Chuck acknowledged. Using a softer tone, he continued, "But don't you think it's a sign that you just had a false alarm? That despite how hard we've been trying, you're still not pregnant? I think it's a blessing in disguise. I've been fooling myself this whole time that it was the next logical step of our relationship."

"Fooling yourself how?" Blair asked with a tinge of hysteria in her voice.

"That I want a family with you," he whispered. There was sorrow and regret in his eyes. "It took me years before I even brought up the idea of you getting pregnant again. I kept telling myself I waited because of what had happened, and how long it took for you to feel like yourself again. But it was all a lie. I've been ignoring it you see—the lure of wanting to go back to how things were, before that night at Victrola. It's been growing, that pull towards my old life, and I miss it, I miss being Chuck Bass."

"So let me get this straight, right now you are not Chuck Bass?" She asked mockingly. "And in order to be yourself, you want to go back to a time where you used to bury your feelings and act as though they didn't exist? You want to drown yourself with alcohol, drugs and women to avoid feeling anything real or worthwhile. That's what you miss?"

"Unequivocally," Chuck answered without hesitation.

"I don't believe you, you're lying," Blair declared.

"What is so hard for you to understand?" He said with contempt. "I am tired of caring about anyone other than myself. I long for the days where I could do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted it and damned the consequences of hurting someone's feelings."

"You love me," she stated fearlessly. Chuck had gone too far, and this had to stop now.

"I do," he agreed. "But from this moment on, I choose to no longer be ruled by that emotion." He reached out and took her hands into his. "Falling in love with you was never my choice. Once love had taken a hold of me, I was a prisoner. I thought I had to let those feelings dictate everything I did. But don't you see, Blair? While loving you may not have been a choice, my being involved with you can be. I don't want this anymore. I don't want this life, I don't want this burden, and I most certainly don't want to be married to you."

His words were said with such confidence that she felt herself faltering. This couldn't possibly be happening. Gone was her husband who had come home from his weeklong trip in Australia and had been elated just to have her sleep in his arms again. In a strangled voice she asked a question she never thought she would have to pose. "Is there someone else?"

Chuck shook his head.

It struck her just then, he had been the one to turn down sex four nights ago, insisting he was worried about her infection. Perversely Blair's mind raced and grasped on the moment last month when she saw Jenny Humphrey in her husband's office, hugging him tightly. "Did you fuck somebody?"

"No," Chuck answered flatly. He laughed bitterly. "I have been nothing but faithful to you, and still one of the first questions you ask is if I'm seeing someone else. When would I have had the time, Blair?"

"I don't understand. Why are you saying these things to me? Why don't you want to be with me anymore? What did I do? Did something happen to you that you're not telling me about?" Blair started to panic and her heart was beating quickly. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her and the room was spinning.

"Nothing happened. I'm sorry, but I just don't want this life anymore. I wanted to try and make things work, but I can't ignore my desire to be free of all of this. It would be unfair to you," Chuck said uncomfortably. And then, as though he were trying to reassure her, he added, "You are the only person I could ever love, Blair, I just don't want to."

Somehow, despite the extreme contradiction of his words, the tension in her heart eased a bit. The reassurance that he still loved her made the room steady and her focus was slowly being regained.

"So, please, don't make things difficult for both of us, and accept this for what it is. We had a good run, but now it's over. I'm not going to change my mind. Be grateful for the timing of it. You're a beautiful and amazing woman. You will have no trouble finding somebody who wants to be with you—someone else you can start a family with. It's better this way, a child with me would only complicate things," Chuck attempted to convince her.

Blair's eyes narrowed. Why was he bringing up children, again? She was desperate to cling to anything. She needed to force his hand. "And what if I told you I was pregnant? That I lied to you about the results I got from Dr. Ruggio?"

Chuck froze.

She laughed bitterly. "Nothing to say?"

He let go of her hands and leaned over so his face was level to hers. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her, but then she saw the coldness in his eyes.

"Get rid of it."

Blair slapped him hard across the face before she could stop herself. With an anger she didn't know she still had, she hissed at him, "How dare you say that to me! Get out! I don't know who you are right now."

He stood up slowly as he removed the wedding ring from his finger and placed it on the coffee table.

"I'll send someone for my things," Chuck said woodenly. He turned his back to her and made his way down the hall.

It wasn't until Blair heard the elevator that it hit her that he had really left. She grabbed his ring off the table and threw it against the wall. When the ring landed on the floor a few feet away from her, she braced herself to feel something, anything. But instead she felt empty inside, it was as if she was having an out-of-body experience, and all that was left was her physical shell. She stumbled to the couch and curled up on her side. Hugging a pillow, and rocking back and forth in shock, she waited for the tears that never came.

.

.

.

Last week of February 2018

"Blair!" Serena called out worriedly as she rushed over and hugged her tightly. "Are you ok?"

She allowed her best friend to embrace her for a moment longer before loudly complaining, "S, I can't breathe. Everything's fine, why wouldn't it be?"

"B, you spent the night in jail."

Blair ignored her and turned to sign the sheet so she could collect her purse and coat. She slipped on the latter, before digging in her purse to find her sunglasses.

"The number of photographers outside is worse than the morning after the news came out that Chuck left—."

She turned around and glared at her friend. "Chuck did not leave me."

Serena looked at her as though she desperately wanted to object, but she just pursed her lips and wisely said nothing.

"Is the car waiting outside?"

Serena nodded.

"Let's get this over with, shall we?"

Without waiting for a response from her friend, Blair pushed the doors of the police precinct open, and basked in the flashes of the cameras.

Mrs. Bass, did you punch Jenny Humphrey?

Is it true Mr. Bass has filed for divorce?

Why were you at Mr. Bass's new apartment?

Have you spoken to your husband since he left you?

How long has his affair with Miss Humphrey been going on?

Is Miss Humphrey pressing charges?

Blair just smiled the entire time and linked her arm through Serena's as they made their way into the limo. As soon as the car drove away, Serena turned to her with a look of concern. "Is that why you went there last night? Chuck filed for divorce? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What's there to tell?" She countered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"How long are you going to be in denial about this?" Serena's eyes glanced up front to make sure that the divider was up, but still lowered her voice. "You attacked Jenny, who, in case you haven't noticed, is living with your husband."

"Something's not right," Blair insisted. "I know Chuck, it isn't what everyone thinks. I just can't figure out what the missing piece to the puzzle is."

"Wake up, Blair. I'm begging you, please stop this nonsense."

"Have you spoken to Nate?" She asked, ignoring her friend's plea.

Serena sighed. "Chuck still won't see him."

"And you don't find that the least bit peculiar?"

"No, I don't," Serena said. "Chuck knows that Nate's furious with him, so he's avoiding him."

"That's just more evidence that all of this doesn't add up. It's one thing to cut me off, and even you, S—but Nate? No matter how angry they get at each other, you know in their own way, they're just as bad as we are. Chuck avoiding Nate is a clue," Blair said triumphantly.

"A clue?" Serena yelled in frustration. "Do you think this is just one big game? You're in denial, Blair."

"Volume, S."

"Look at me. Tell me, when are you going to get it? Chuck left you."

"I'm not in denial, and Chuck is not serious. I know him, this is far from over."

"So it doesn't bother you that he left you for Jenny?"

Blair flinched. It was the first time those exact words had been spoken directly to her. Everyone around her had been too terrified of her reaction to say those words. It had been one week exactly after Blair had told Chuck to get out of their house, that the rumor had spread that her husband and Jenny Humphrey were house hunting. Blair had fallen back into Queen B mode and simply acted as though this piece of information did not exist. In fact, it was eerily familiar to the summer after her first year of college, and Jenny's name was not allowed to be spoken. Only Dorota had dared to collect all the tabloids and press clippings that pertained to Chuck and Jenny, and left them piled neatly on Blair's desk. But the divorce papers she had been served with yesterday had been very, very real and she could not pretend any longer.

"Whatever all of this is," Blair gestured around for emphasis, trying to steady her trembling voice. "It doesn't makes sense."

Serena seemed overly relieved that Blair was showing emotion, and reached out to squeeze her hand. It was that gesture of affection that caused her to start unraveling.

"I read somewhere that when you love someone and they step away, there's an instinctive response to glance up to make sure that they're still there.* I keep looking, but Chuck's not there—where is he, S? Why can't I see him?"

Blair turned and buried her face into Serena's shoulder and the blonde's arms immediately wrapped around her. The dam had burst, and the tears she had repressed for so long started to fall.

"We're married," she sobbed. "He loves me, I know he does. He finally asked if enough time had passed, and if I was ready to start trying to get pregnant again. We were going to have little baby Basses that we dressed up in mini-headbands and tiny little bow ties. I don't know why he's doing this. Jenny doesn't mean anything, he's using her to prove a point, he's trying to make me think he's moved on."

"Oh, Blair, I'm so sorry," Serena crooned as she stroked her hair. Blair closed her eyes and stopped denying herself the comfort her friend had offered earlier. She knew Serena didn't believe her, but she was wrong. Chuck loved her, he had to.

.

.

.

tbc

A/N: This story is inspired by a story arc from the TV show Criminal Minds, and all the chapters are named after episodes from that series. There will be quotes from the show scattered throughout, and noted at the end of each chapter.

Also, I stopped watching the show (Gossip Girl) after 4x11 and although I am aware of some of the events that have happened since, I've remained largely detail free. So please bear in mind, that if aspects of Chuck and Blair's past are different from canon, it is due to this reason.

* from Devil's Night 6x06