What annoyed Yagyuu the most, he decided, was Niou's ability to be inconvenient even when he wasn't really trying to be.
Right now, for instance, Kirihara was curled up against Yagyuu's side, outside on a bench, snivelling about how Niou-sempai had been mean to him. It was pouring with rain, but Kirihara had clutched at Yagyuu's arm and begged him to help him. Yagyuu wasn't quite sure of the details of what had happened - something about a joke that Niou had made in front of a girl Kirihara liked, it sounded like - but he suspected he was going to have to at the very least promise to tell Niou to knock it off in future. For all the good that would do.
Yagyuu sighed, and made sure his umbrella was still covering both of them. Kirihara was whiny enough now; if he caught a cold too then he'd be unbearable in a few days. Hopefully he'd would finish venting soon, and they could go back inside into the warmth.
"-and, and, and he already has a girlfriend of his own, and-"
"Pardon?"
Kirihara turned his big, tearful eyes up towards Yagyuu and sniffed. "Huh?"
"Did you say that Niou-kun has a girlfriend?"
Niou was sprawled across the wide window-ledge of their classroom, staring up at the ceiling, idly winding and unwinding a cable around his finger.
Yagyuu leaned in and pulled sharply downwards, making the earbuds pop out of Niou's ear. A scratchy, tinny tune was audible for a moment before Niou fumbled with his music player, looking amused.
"'sup, Hiroshi?"
"I hear you're dating Hikane-kun."
"Oh, crap." Niou had the grace to look guilty, at least. "I meant to tell you, honest. Uh. I know you liked her and all, but we kinda got talking and-"
Suddenly, thought Yagyuu, inconvenient seemed such a tiny word. "I see."
"Look, don't be like that. I'll set you up with one of her friends, we'll go on double dates, it'll be great." Niou raised his voice, as Yagyuu turned and walked away. "Yagyuu! I'll make sure yours is just as pretty, okay?"
Hikane was pretty, but that hadn't been why Yagyuu had liked her. She was on the student council, and they'd spoken a few times at meetings. She'd been polite enough at first, but there'd been a disagreement over festival plans and she'd spoken up in defense of her own ideas. She'd argued confidently and with passion and articulacy. Yagyuu had been impressed, and when he discovered she was in the debate club, he'd snuck along to watch one of their sessions. She'd been wonderful to watch there, fierce and clever and sharp.
Unfortunately, he'd let slip to Niou that he was interested in her. Oh, Niou would probably feed him some line about how he'd gone to talk Yagyuu up to her, how he'd sung Yagyuu's praises to her. But somehow, it would transpire that Hikane had a pre-existing crush on Niou, or happened to be a fan of Niou's favourite band, or some other reason why Niou had ended up asking the girl out himself. The first time Niou'd pulled this stunt - with a girl from their class - Yagyuu had been hurt, then angry. And by now it was definitely a pattern; if Yagyuu wanted a girl, Niou tried to get her first.
Yagyuu had half a mind to find Kirihara and plot some sort of horrific mutual revenge scenario with him. Instead, he went to vent his anger elsewhere, until Yukimura caught him on the indoor courts an hour later.
"Buchou."
"Before you ask, yes, Niou sent me."
"Ah." Yagyuu smashed another return across the net. "Did he tell you why?"
Yukimura shook his head, his hand on the switch for the machine. "Do you want a real opponent?"
Yagyuu paused, and Yukimura switched the machine off. "Honestly, Yukimura-kun, I won't be much of a challenge right now, will I?"
"Correct. Practising like this won't do you any good either. C'mon, stop abusing your racket."
Yagyuu glanced at his hand, and realised it was beginning to cramp from gripping so tightly. He forced his hand to relax, and the racquet clattered to the ground. "The thing is - he's insufferable. Why does he always need to steal the girl I like? He can get any girl he wants."
Yukimura tipped his head to one side. "That's a good question. Why do you think he does it?"
"He just wants to prove he can, I suppose." Yagyuu grabbed one of the baskets, and began collecting the balls. Yukimura leaned against the wall, his eyes dark as he watched. He didn't offer to help.
"Perhaps he trusts your taste in women better than his own? Or maybe he hates your taste in women, and is trying to spare you from bad choices?"
"Ha."
"Maybe you should try to date a girl he likes, see how he reacts to that."
"He never tells me which girls he likes." Yagyuu paused, thinking about that for a moment. "You'd think I'd have learned to emulate that."
"Ah, but you always think the best of him."
Yagyuu raised an eyebrow at that, and Yukimura laughed.
"Yagyuu, you're going to forgive him. You always do."
Yagyuu tipped his basket of balls back into the hopper in the machine. "Yes, I know. It's a terrible habit of mine."
"Hm. He's lucky, though." Yukimura reached over and ruffled Yagyuu's hair. "It must be hard, being so controlled and reasonable all the time."
"You have no idea."
"You'd be surprised." Yukimura grinned. "Would you like me to try and find out if there's a girl he likes?"
Yagyuu considered that. If anyone could pry that sort of information from Niou, Yukimura could. But asking him felt weirdly like betrayal - this was between him and Niou, and calling in anyone else was wrong. Even if it was tempting.
"No, thank you, but I appreciate the offer."
"Alright then." Yukimura smiled again. "So. As your captain, I am telling you that you have five minutes to finish collecting these balls. I need the machines, and you need to get back to class."
Niou was all conciliatory smiles and apologetic frowns when Yagyuu returned to their classroom. The benefit of having Yagyuu's considerable reputation for diligence and good behaviour was that Yagyuu wasn't even questioned on his absence; he slipped behind his desk and Niou was instructed to share the notes from the previous lesson with him.
Niou did so, along with a scrap of paper that read sorry, I know I should have told you myself.
Yagyuu ignored it in favour of copying across what seemed to be the most important points in Niou's notes. For once - and possibly as part of his whole apologetic, trying-to-make-amends front - Niou's notes were in a reasonably coherent state, and it wouldn't take too long to work through them. Once, Yagyuu had borrowed Niou's notes and found that half them were written entirely in hiragana, and the rest were surrounded by sprawling, elaborate drawings of kudzu vines.
Another note was slid across a few minutes later. Hikane said that girl in her class - the tall one with the curled hair, I think - might be into you. Want me to hook you up?
Yagyuu glared at Niou for a moment, then returned all the papers - schoolwork and personal - to Niou's desk. He'd get the rest of the schoolwork notes from someone else in their class later on; better that than to give Niou an excuse to behave like everything was back to normal between them.
Fine, be like that. Asshole.
Yagyuu turned this scrap of paper over, and wrote on the back just leave me alone.
Niou, somewhat to Yagyuu's surprise, obliged him. The rest of the lesson passed by in relative silence; Niou's elbow nudged his once or twice but Yagyuu had long since learned to ignore Niou's inability to respect personal space.
They all stood up as the teacher left at the end of class, and then Niou shovelled his papers off the desk and into his rucksack. Yagyuu watched, impassive. He informed their next teacher that Niou had gone to see the school nurse, and took the extra set of printouts on his behalf, and then waited about twenty minutes before hiding his phone behind a book.
Drama queen.
Fuck you. I said I was sorry.
God, Niou never changed, did he?
You said that last time too, asshole. Don't try to appease me with airheaded double dates. Told Kawabata-sensei you're ill.
I'll make it up to you, promise. What do you want? Anything except a date with my sister.
Get me a date with your sister and buy me lunch all next week.
How about I pay tonight? If you still want to hang out.
Niou snuck back into their class at the end of that lesson; Yagyuu quietly handed him his notes and Niou started copying them over, flashing him a grateful smile. Yagyuu stared at the top of Niou's head for a moment before snorting quietly and returning his attention to his own work.
Perhaps that was what was more aggravating than anything else about Niou. He'd genuinely seem contrite, but it wouldn't stop him doing something again if he wanted to. And Yagyuu could get angry, and yell at Niou, and stop talking to him. But Niou'd probably just work his way back into Yagyuu's life again anyway.
Or he wouldn't. That was actually more terrifying.
Yagyuu liked having Niou around. After years of being so close, after spending so long faking being one another, Yagyuu was pretty certain that Niou knew Yagyuu better than anyone else. And that was oddly seductive. Niou wasn't fooled by any of Yagyuu's social deflections, and certainly not by the pleasing mask of gentility he'd spent so long perfecting. At their cores, after all, they were both illusionists, both selfish and clever and devious. For a while they had been close enough that it had been unnerving; their thoughts aligned enough that he could almost believe that Niou was another Yagyuu, just differently presented and warped enough to have fascinating variations on his own thoughts.
It wasn't like they didn't fight. But the pattern was there, as Yukimura had noted. Sooner or later Niou would convince him to forgive him, or Yagyuu would convince himself to forgive Niou, which worked out as the same thing from different angles. Set up against years of friendship and a deeply-ingrained habit of justifying Niou's actions, well... there didn't seem much point in sulking over some girl that Yagyuu hadn't even had a chance to decide he really liked yet.
After school, Niou hauled Yagyuu out to a pachinko parlour-slash-bar they'd found a few months previously. Yagyuu suspected that the place was, in fact, operating illegally in a number of directions. Nobody there had ever asked for their ID, so they could work their way - slowly - along the rows of blurrily-labelled spirits at the back of the bar. Presumably the staff were aware that Niou and Yagyuu were distinctly underage - they changed out of their school shirts before their visits, but Yagyuu still suspected they didn't really look like adults. Nobody seemed to mind, as long as sufficient money for drinks was provided. For the sake of it, they even fed a few coins into the gambling machines every other visit or so.
Yagyuu's parents didn't seem to wonder where his allowance went. Maybe they thought he was putting it into a savings account. It would be interesting if they ever found out how much was being spent on gambling and alcohol.
Today's first drinks were a dark amber colour, purported to be whisky, and tasted sour and smoky. Niou took one sip of his and made a face.
"Is it supposed to taste of ass?"
Yagyuu sipped at his glass, and smiled. "I can't say, Niou-kun. I don't know what ass tastes like."
Niou barked out a laugh, and then took another sip. "Fuck, that's really grim."
"I think I could grow to like it." Yagyuu took a bigger mouthful, and swirled it around in his mouth before swallowing. "It's better than that sugary one you had us drink last week."
"Ah, man, that was great." Niou squinted at the lines of bottles. "What was it, coffee-flavoured or something? Or was that the week before?"
"Mm, not sure. It'll taste hideous after this, though." Yagyuu knocked back the last of the drink, trying not to wince at the sour aftertaste. "Are we staying here?"
"If you want. I kind of feel like karaoke, though. How badly can we break your curfew?"
"For the hundredth time, I don't have a curfew."
"Because you never stay out so late you need one, blah blah responsible blah. Man, sometimes you are so boring."
Yagyuu picked up Niou's glass, and drained that too. "I'd say it'll be about 11pm before my parents will start being concerned, midnight before they decide that they need to talk to me about taking my studies seriously."
Niou scowled. "Not nearly good enough, c'mon." He signaled the bartender to refill the glasses. "Tell 'em you're staying at mine?"
"Niou-kun, sometimes - and I know this is hard to understand - I don't actually want to get trashed and hang out all night singing love songs with salarymen. Especially not when we have school tomorrow."
Niou handed Yagyuu his refilled drink. "So we won't stay out all night. Or we won't sing karaoke. But you should stay at mine anyway."
Yagyuu raised an eyebrow.
"Look, I am really fucking sorry about Hikane. I dunno what else I can say, she has good taste?" He held up an apologetic hand, possibly because he could see that Yagyuu was likely to punch him if he kept talking like this. "But whatever, I shouldn't have agreed to date her. I'll break up with her, okay, if that's what you want?"
"Idiot. Of course it's not." Yagyuu rolled his eyes, and knocked back the liquor in one go, managing not to gag on the taste. "She likes you, you like her, fine, date her. I just really wish a girl liked me better than you for once."
Niou draped an arm across Yagyuu's shoulders. "Ah, c'mon, girls like you fine. But you're all sensible and you treat them too nicely. Girls our age want a bit of danger and a bad reputation. If you were a bastard to them, they'd flock to you, I bet." He tipped his head back, elegantly, and Yagyuu found himself watching the movement of Niou's throat as he swallowed. Niou held the drained glass to his lips for a moment as if contemplating the taste, then he pulled a revolted face. "Fuck, this is really vile. Let's get something else."
They ordered beer this time, and found a corner table to sit at. Yagyuu thought about what Niou had said. "Say you're right, and I could get more girls by being nastier to them. Maybe I don't want the sort of girl that only wants me if I'm a bastard."
"What do you want?"
"I have no idea. A girlfriend. A best friend who doesn't get in the way."
Niou sighed into his drink, but he didn't offer another apology.
"You know what, you're right," said Yagyuu, after a few minutes of silent consideration. "I do need to get drunk tonight after all."
Niou nodded, his eyes distant, and Yagyuu stumbled outside to call his mother at work. She didn't express even the faintest concern at his planned absence. Yagyuu assured her that he'd thank Niou-san for letting him stay over again, and that he'd come home the next day, and that Niou's cellphone charger would work on his phone, and all the usual assurances.
When he returned, Niou was still looking broody, only now he'd obtained a packet of cigarettes from somewhere.
"Destroying our livers and lungs, then?"
"Yup. The full works, that's what we're up for tonight."
"You mean legalised drugs and karaoke? Oh, how corrupt Japan's youth has become, how decadent and western. We should alert the media to this moral decay."
Niou flashed a toothy grin at Yagyuu. "Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll, isn't that the saying? Play your cards right with some girls tonight, and we might get you laid yet."
Yagyuu spluttered into his beer. "I'd rather not just screw some girl I don't know, if it's all the same to you."
"Prude."
"Asshole."
They both giggled then, and Yagyuu let Niou convince him to smoke a cigarette - just one - and they watched the elderly regulars of the pachinko parlour play for a while. It felt like a gentle enough life to Yagyuu, frittering away your pension on bright lights, loud noises and a warm place to sit. He could think of a lot worse places to end up.
Back out on the street afterwards, Niou was jumpy and energetic, bouncing around on the balls of his feet.
"Karaoke? Or, I dunno, we could go to a club or something, go into the centre and-"
"Karaoke's fine, Niou-kun. Pick somewhere."
Yagyuu had long-since discovered that he could - if he switched off the more responsible parts of his brain - switch his brain firmly into a state where he enjoyed this sort of thing exactly as much as Niou seemed to. There was no problem getting into the karaoke bar Niou chose; they slipped in amongst the first wave of office workers to arrive. Inside, Niou waved at the barman, and confidently ordered for them. The drinks, when they arrived, were large, cloudy, and had layers of red and yellow pooling at the bottom of the glasses.
"Mostly vodka," said Niou, in answer to Yagyuu's questioning look. "You said you wanted to get smashed. Drink up."
After that, Yagyuu's memory got kind of patchy.
The next morning, Yagyuu didn't even have the luxury of a few minutes of blissful ignorance. Instead, he woke, frozen in shock, all too clear on the gist what had happened the previous night.
They'd gotten swiftly drunk in the karaoke bar - shamefully so, really - and then Niou had begun making up his own obscene lyrics until they got kicked out.
There'd been a club after that - not hugely busy given the earliness of the hour, but they'd found a few girls to dance with and the music had been loud and the club had been dark. It had been fun, especially once they found the sort of girls that would grind up teasingly against them as they danced, and Yagyuu had given up on any idea of going home early.
After they retreated a little to get another drink - and to cool off a little so they didn't actually get slapped by one of the girls they were dancing with - Niou had asked Yagyuu which girl he wanted to score with. Yagyuu had shrugged, and had, honestly, admitted that he was so horny by then that everyone looked good, down to and including the barmen.
Which had been a joke, but then Niou had given him a surprisingly sober look, and had announced that Yagyuu had obviously drunk way too much. He wouldn't be much good to any of the girls at this rate, and since Yagyuu would hate himself in the morning if he did something stupid, they'd probably better go home.
Yagyuu couldn't remember quite what had happened after that. The next thing he could remember was that they'd barely made it through the door of the bedroom before Niou was kissing him, hard and urgent, and after a moment of surprise Yagyuu had been totally on board with that.
And fuck, it had been good; kind of sloppy what with the alcohol at first, but the horniness had burned through the haze and Yagyuu could vividly remember being the one who shoved Niou onto the bed and climbed on top, biting and kissing him and both of them fumbling to get out of their clothes.
Yagyuu also remembered how ridiculously good it had been when Niou had started jerking him off, and then how Niou had gazed at him in this kind of wide-eyed amazement as Yagyuu did the same to him. Yagyuu didn't think he was going to be able to forget that for a while. They both must have passed out almost immediately afterwards - Yagyuu had this crusty, bitty substance on his hand that he was certain must be dried semen, and the bedsheets felt like they'd stuck to his stomach, and all in all this morning was probably the grossest thing he'd ever inflicted on himself. Or let Niou inflict on him.
Actually, Yagyuu wasn't quite sure where 'here' was - Niou's bed wasn't this wide, surely? He tentatively lifted his head.
The room was dark - they must have managed to turn off the light afterward, at least - but Yagyuu could tell it was unfamiliar. Probably a cheap hotel room. Crap. And now he could remember suggesting to Niou that they find a hotel - he hadn't meant a love hotel, but apparently Niou had taken it that way and apparently Yagyuu hadn't objected. Yagyuu's head started to pound, right on cue.
"Oh, holy fucking shitballs," Niou muttered from the other side of the bed, apparently woken by Yagyuu's movements. "Shit shit shit, what the hell."
"Yes," Yagyuu said. "My thoughts exactly."
Niou rolled over to face him, and from the way the sheets rumpled around him, Yagyuu suspected that they were just as disgusting on his side of the bed. "Urgh."
Yagyuu nodded, and pulled at the sheet - it was stuck to his stomach and also his leg, and he began trying to unpeel it. "Please tell me we're not sharing a bathroom with strangers."
Niou waved vaguely towards a door in the corner of the room. "What time is it?"
"Does it matter?" Yagyuu yanked off the last bit of the sheet, then grabbed the top blanket and wrapped it around himself.
The shower was, thankfully, both warm and powerful enough to make Yagyuu feel somewhat better. He leant against the wall, waiting for the headache to subside, and wondered exactly how much this whole thing was going to fuck up his life. Maybe not that much. Maybe if they both just agreed it hadn't happened, everything would be fine and they could go back to normal. Nausea welled up, and Yagyuu forced himself to duck under the shower head and scrub.
As he left the bathroom, Niou was waiting outside the door - clutching the sheet from the bed to himself like a shield - and he gave Yagyuu a wary look before ducking in and slamming the door behind him.
Niou had clearly made some attempt to pick stuff up while Yagyuu was in the shower. Their bags were still dumped by the door, but Yagyuu's shirt was draped over the back of the chair, and the rest of his clothes were in a little folded pile by the bed, with his glasses on top. Even so, it took Yagyuu a while to find his underwear, which had ended up twisted into a lump in the leg of his trousers. It felt way too wrong to put on his school uniform to walk out of a love hotel, even though the shirt from last night reeked of sweat and nicotine. He turned his school shirt inside out instead - it'd be under his jacket and not particularly visible, but he felt better for the precaution anyway. A few minutes later, Niou came out of the shower, towel slung around his waist as if he was in the locker rooms. There was what looked to be a love-bite on his collarbone, and Yagyuu tried not to stare at it.
Niou looked at him, scrubbed at his hand with one face, and then sat heavily on the end of the bed. "Fuck, I was kind of hoping I'd hallucinated this."
"That's a possibility."
Niou gave him a sharp look. "No way. I'm not pretending it didn't happen. We do that, it'll rot between us."
"What do you suggest, then?"
Niou shrugged, and reached down to grab his clothes. "Coffee, maybe painkillers. And then, hell, I dunno, we talk about it like grownups."
Yagyuu strapped on his watch - half past five in the morning, for the love of all that was holy - and nodded grimly.
By the time they'd found a pharmacy that stayed open overnight, a few local cafes were starting to open. Yagyuu picked one randomly, and dragged Niou into the privatest corner possible with their coffees.
Niou swallowed two of the aspirin dry, throwing his head back the same way he had when sinking a shot the previous night, and Yagyuu tore his gaze away. He could remember licking Niou's throat.
"Right," said Niou, handing Yagyuu the box. "We need to head back to school in two hours or so. And I'd like to know where we stand, before we do that."
"Where do you think? I've never - I don't - ugh. This is ridiculous." Yagyuu popped out two pills, furious at himself. "I'm sorry, okay."
"Yeah, me too." Niou blew on his coffee. "Alright, look, about last night. It was brilliant - really, fucking amazing - but also really stupid."
"I agree." Yagyuu took the pills with a sip of the coffee, nearly scorching his tongue as he did so. "God. I... I'm not gay."
"No? Me neither. Or, you know, I was pretty sure I wasn't until last night."
"I don't want this to make us not friends."
"What do you want?" Niou leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Seriously, because part of me is fucking horrified and part of me wants to do it all over again and part of me is terrified you're going to tell everyone I'm queer."
Yagyuu stared at Niou. That seemed to sum it up pretty succinctly. "Which part is winning?"
"All of them. Fuck." Niou scrubbed at his face again. "You know your shirt's on inside out?"
"Yes. School badge, didn't want us to get reported. Didn't have a spare t-shirt like you."
"Smart." Niou blinked for a moment, and then reached out and grabbed Yagyuu's hand. "I don't want us not to be friends either."
Yagyuu stared at that, Niou's hand around his, and then lifted the coffee cup with his other hand. "You sure picked one hell of a way to make up for stealing my girl."
Niou looked confused for a moment, and then his face split into a genuine grin. "Shit, this has to make me the worst boyfriend ever."
"It's not your finest moment, I agree." Yagyuu flexed his hand a little within Niou's. "Right, okay, we're not going to let this screw up our friendship."
Niou let go. "Good."
They sat for a while, sipping at their coffees, and Yagyuu relaxed a bit. Relief and a sort of amused exasperation bubbled up, and he fought the urge to grin the way Niou just did. Niou caught his eye, and sniggered in amusement.
"Seriously, dude, you look like you just got laid."
That was enough to tip the balance, and Yagyuu laughed, finally feeling the knot in his stomach uncoil. Niou leant back and looked happier than he had done since they'd woken up, and they ignored the curious looks of the baristas behind the counter.
"Ah, Niou-kun, we're okay, aren't we?"
"Probably, yeah."
Yagyuu sat up straight, and composed himself. "Right. It happened, now we move on and this is just a dumb thing we did once."
He'd had just enough coffee that he actually caught the split-second look of disappointment on Niou's face before Niou pulled his features into a smile and nodded agreeably.
Oh.
"Unless," Yagyuu said, and stopped. Shit. For fuck's sake, he wasn't gay, and Niou had said he wasn't gay either, and Yagyuu didn't know what to ask for even if he could bring himself to ask.
"Unless?"
"Never mind." Yagyuu stretched, and took a gulp of his coffee. "Let's finish these and get something to eat before heading back, okay?"
Well, thought Yagyuu, it was absurd to think things would just be normal after that.
Not even a week later, and they'd managed to hang out all Sunday with some classmates without things feeling too weird, but then Yagyuu had gone to the student council room for a routine meeting on Tuesday and found Niou - unexpectedly - standing in front of the door. Hikane was hanging off his arm, chattering delightedly at him about something, and Niou had given Yagyuu an apologetic smile before leaning down and whispering something in Hikane's ear that made her pout in mock-anger.
Yagyuu bit back an immediate snarl of irritation. "Niou-kun. Hikane-kun."
"Ah, Yagyuu-kun," beamed Hikane, looking delighted. "Niou-chan was just telling me that he can't go out with me tomorrow because he has plans with you instead."
Yagyuu didn't remember making plans for the next evening, but some responses were just routine now. "Oh, that's correct, I'm afraid."
"Do you mind if he comes out with me instead?" Her eyes were wide and innocent, and she was completely oblivious to Niou's quick head-shake of negation behind her.
"Ah, I'm sorry, Hikane-kun, it's a study session, and we'll need to have our project ready for the day afterwards."
Hikane visibly deflated, and then brightened up as she turned back to Niou. "Well, I'll see you at school instead, I guess! And we'll go somewhere this weekend."
"Sure." Niou didn't seem very enthusiastic, to Yagyuu's surprise. Other student council members were starting to sit down around the table, casting curious looks at Niou for being there.
"You promise?"
"Of course." Niou pressed a cursory kiss to the side of her head, which made her squeal a little in startled delight. "I'll call you later, but I've got to dash."
"Bye!" Hikane called after him as he left the room, and then she turned back to Yagyuu with a happy smile. "He's so sweet."
Yagyuu texted Niou halfway through the meeting - which wasn't very interesting - to say If you're not interested in dating her why are you still dating her?
I just don't want her thinking she can take over all my free time, that's all.
Yagyuu waited until after the meeting to respond to that. You're a bastard, you really are. Why am I lying for you?
Because I'm adorable? And because I'm buying the drinks again this week. Tomorrow.
Yagyuu considered that - in retrospect, Niou had paid for almost everything when they went out last week, up to and presumably including however much that grubby hotel had cost - but this seemed too much like tempting fate to him. Are you sure we should be drinking together?
Why, worried you can't resist my charms?
"Besides," came a voice from behind him, "I told her I'd be with you, remember."
"I'd really rather not be your excuse, Niou-kun."
Niou grinned at him. "You're not just an excuse. You're a reason now." He tapped at Yagyuu's phone. "See? I legitimately have plans with you."
"Study plans, however, is what I told Hikane-kun." Yagyuu closed his phone and put it away. "And what I'd prefer, as we do actually have two projects due this Friday. Besides, I think my liver needs a week off."
"Spoilsport. But fine, I'll come over to yours. We can make a night of it, watch movies or something after studying."
Yagyuu hesitated. That sounded... like something perfectly normal they'd have done before last week, he told himself. "I suppose so. No horror movies, though."
"Want me to crash at your place? Or would that be too weird?"
Yagyuu tipped his head to one side. "Why, Niou-kun? Worried you can't resist my charms?"
Niou had picked some big American blockbuster film to watch. Yagyuu always raised a mild objection to that sort of thing, but actually it was usually a pretty good compromise; Niou got the explosions and scantily-clad girls he wanted to see, and Yagyuu got to feel smug about how much of the dialogue he could understand without reading the subtitles.
They watched it on the computer screen in Yagyuu's room - they could probably have watched it downstairs with Yagyuu's family, but somehow they had ended up sitting on his unrolled futon together, not quite touching. Yagyuu was hyperaware of exactly how far Niou was away from him, and by unspoken agreement they weren't even letting their elbows touch, both of them tensed and twitchy.
"You know what? Fuck this awkwardness," said Niou, about halfway through the movie, and he shuffled sideways to close the gap between their shoulders. Yagyuu wasn't sure it made him feel any better, but Niou seemed to relax at the contact.
Yagyuu felt kind of prickly, really. He'd spent their study session and the first half of the movie with three memories repeatedly and vividly popping into his head. The first was pushing Niou onto the bed, unwilling to stop kissing him for a moment, so frantic to get at Niou's skin that he'd nearly ripped Niou's shirt. The second was seeing Niou's eyes flutter closed as he came hotly over Yagyuu's hand, gasping. The third was just Niou, the next morning, saying part of me wants to do it all over again.
Yagyuu took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he gay, then? He'd kind of thought he was past having to wonder about this. A few of his tennis acquaintances had, in the past, quietly confessed to harbouring man-crushes on people like Tezuka and Atobe and even - and they whispered it - Echizen. And that was almost comprehensible to Yagyuu; admiration becoming shaded with lust. Yagyuu had briefly wondered if his feelings towards Yukimura qualified as a crush, but as far as he could tell he didn't want to kiss Yukimura, he just wanted Yukimura to approve of Yagyuu's tennis. It was clearly less extreme than whatever Sanada felt, or even what Kirihara felt. Everyone worshipped Yukimura; it would probably have been weirder for Yagyuu not to feel a bit of an attraction. Yagyuu had been pretty sure he was, if anything, one of the less sexually confused members of the team.
As for Niou, well, this sort of thing hadn't seemed to be an issue before. They'd been too intertwined in each other's lives and identities, and kissing Niou would probably have felt like kissing his twin or his brother or his reflection. But their last switch had been a year or more ago, and they'd spent less time pretending and practising, and that he's-nearly-me association had faded. Yagyuu didn't see Niou in the mirror any more, nor did he see much of himself when he looked at Niou. Niou was, now, just himself, skinny and long-limbed and with a mind knotted like a ball python, and, Yagyuu was starting to realise with an uncomfortable sureness about it, kind of attractive.
"Hey, you want to stop the movie?"
Yagyuu blinked and put his glasses back on. "Hm?"
"You only do that when you have a headache. You okay?"
"I'm fine, my eyes are just a bit tired. Don't worry."
Niou gave him a dubious look, but shrugged - his elbow digging into Yagyuu's side as he did so - and turned his attention back to the screen.
It was brilliant. Part of me wants to do it all over again.
Yagyuu took a deep breath, then turned and, very deliberately, reached into Niou's lap and tugged at his belt buckle.
"Uh," said Niou, looking down at Yagyuu's hand. "Are you -"
"Shh," and the buckle was unfastened, followed by the button. Yagyuu moved his hand to Niou's zipper. "Unless you want me to stop."
Niou shut his mouth, firmly enough that Yagyuu heard his teeth click together. Yagyuu nodded and slid his hand into Niou's trousers and under his briefs. Niou wasn't even very hard yet, his cock just starting to stiffen, but Yagyuu stroked his finger along it and felt it twitch promisingly. Niou shifted his weight backwards so he was leaning back on both arms, so that Yagyuu had easier access, and Yagyuu resisted the urge to lean in for a kiss - he wanted to see Niou's face.
It really didn't take long before Niou was biting hard on his own lower lip as Yagyuu's fist slid back and forth. Yagyuu hadn't meant for Niou not to make any noise, but he placed his free hand across Niou's mouth on impulse, helping muffle the sounds Niou seemed unable to repress. Niou started licking and sucking at his palm, and that was absurdly arousing. Yagyuu worked at Niou harder and faster, until Niou's hips were moving too, and then suddenly he was shuddering and spurting hotly all over Yagyuu's hand.
Yagyuu didn't think he'd ever felt so powerful before.
He pulled his hand away from Niou's mouth, and Niou gave him a faintly dizzy smile before falling back onto his elbows and laughing raspily. "Fuck, why-"
"-does there have to be a why?"
"No. God, no. You can do that any time you feel like it." Niou's face was the pinkest Yagyuu had ever seen it, and there were specks of come dotting the edge of his shirt. "But, uh, we're going to need tissues or something."
They cleaned up, and Yagyuu pitched the tissues into his wastebasket. When he sat down again, Niou - who had sprawled out languidly across the mattress, his cock back in his underwear but his trousers still unfastened - reached a hand up to Yagyuu's face, with an expression that was so relaxed and content and possessive that it made Yagyuu's stomach churn in panic. Yagyuu pulled his head away, making Niou's face twist in confusion.
"What is it?"
"Don't do that. Don't look at me like I'm a girl."
Niou leaned up, putting his weight on his elbows again. "Shit, you jumped me, remember? What is it, is it okay to give me a handjob but kissing would be too gay?"
Yagyuu frowned. If it came down to it, yes, that was actually pretty accurate. "I'm - look, doing this is fine, but we're not boyfriends."
Niou rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake, I'm not going to - actually, you know what, never mind." He refastened his trousers, tucking his shirt back in. "There, now it's like nothing happened, right? Your little experiment is over, find someone else next time."
Yagyuu turned his head back to the computer screen, where the end credits were scrolling. "Fine."
"Asshole." Niou scrambled up and off the futon. "I'm not staying here tonight."
"Fine."
Niou grabbed his bag from the floor, swung it onto his shoulder, and walked out of the door. Yagyuu lay flat on his futon, suddenly too exhausted to even sit up. He heard Niou make up an excuse to Yagyuu's mother about an emergency at home, and then the front door opened and closed and he was gone.
A minute or so later, Yagyuu's mother poked her head around the door. "It's very rude of you to not even come downstairs to say goodbye, Hiroshi."
"It's not like I won't see him tomorrow."
"Good manners should be a habit, not a matter of convenience. And you two had a fight, I suppose."
Yagyuu sighed, and rolled onto his side, away from her. "It's nothing. Just an argument."
Yukimura cornered Yagyuu after practise, eventually.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Yukimura-buchou, with all respect, it's not your business."
"It is when you two spend the whole practise glaring at each other instead of returning easy shots. It's been a week of you hissing at each other like cats. Fix this, or I'll drop you both from the team."
"It's not my fault."
Yukimura glared at Yagyuu. "I don't care. Fix it."
Yagyuu was about to shrug, but he felt a hand land gently on his shoulder.
"Seiichi, might I?"
Yukimura transferred his glare to Yanagi, and then nodded sharply and turned away. Yanagi's hand tightened and then let go, and Yagyuu turned to face him.
"Yanagi-kun, I'm not sure I can fix-"
"What is it that you're fighting about?"
Yagyuu shook his head. "I... it's private."
Yanagi tipped his head to one side, his expression wry. "Oh, one of those arguments. Is this because of that girl you liked? He broke up with her, you know."
What?
"It's nothing to do with Hikane-kun." Yagyuu hesitated, and then asked anyway. "When did they break up?"
"A few days ago. He didn't tell you?"
Yagyuu shook his head.
Yanagi shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and leaned back against the wall. "I see. Listen, I wouldn't usually speculate about this sort of thing, but, by any chance, did Niou-kun finally confess to you?"
There was so much wrong with that question that Yagyuu just stared at Yanagi in bafflement. Yanagi's expression didn't change from polite curiosity, and after a moment Yagyuu managed to say, "Confess to what?"
Yanagi's expression still didn't seem to shift, but Yagyuu got a distinct impression of amusement. "How many times has Niou begun dating the girls you've told him you were interested in?"
"I don't know. Five, six?"
"And how many other girls has he been out with? For more than a single date, I mean."
Yagyuu blinked. Niou was always flirting with girls, often went on dates, occasionally kissed or groped girls and then reported on it gleefully the day after. But somehow, now he thought about it, Niou never usually had a steady girlfriend. And even when he did-
Yanagi leaned forward, and raised an eyebrow. "And how long did he go out with the girls you liked?"
-he tended to break up with them in a couple of weeks. Yagyuu had always assumed he just got bored easily-
Yanagi was watching Yagyuu intently, that amused half-smile still in place.
-but maybe being fickle was another of Niou's illusions.
"This has been interesting." Yagyuu pushed his glasses up his nose. "I'm not certain it helps me, but I'll keep it in mind."
Yanagi stood up, looking as though he was dismissing the matter. "I'm just observing patterns, that's all."
Yagyuu stared at Yanagi - wise, calm Yanagi, who'd clearly spent more time than was healthy gathering data on everyone in the team - and took a deep breath. "Yanagi-kun, if you wouldn't mind, I have some related questions."
Yanagi smiled, slowly. "Under these circumstances? My data is yours."
Niou slid a note across the desk during Literature class. Yagyuu suppressed a smirk, but left the note there. Ten minutes passed before Niou grabbed the note back, opened it, scrawled something else at the bottom and pushed it back across.
Yagyuu ignored it.
A few minutes later, Niou reached over, took Yagyuu's literature textbook out of his hand, and wrote on the page Yagyuu had been studying seriously I can't believe she said yes.
Yagyuu took his book back and wrote his response beneath Niou's sharp, precise characters. It turns out her taste was better than indicated by her previous dating choices.
Niou glared at him, and Yagyuu struck the two lines through with a sense of vicious glee.
When the teacher left at the end of the class, Niou shifted his chair fractionally closer. "You're an asshole."
"But I'm an asshole with a girlfriend, Niou-kun."
"I dated her first, though."
Yagyuu didn't dignify that with a response.
He took Hikane, that evening, to a cafe near Rikkai's campus. They were to see a film later, as their first date. The cafe itself was a sweet, slightly chintzy, place, one that Yanagi had recommended as being popular with the girls, and Yagyuu smiled politely over tea as Hikane talked about her classes and gossiped lightly about their fellow council members.
He was aware, without needing to look, that Marui and Kirihara were lurking outside, peering in the window and trying to be inconspicuous. It didn't bother him. He'd done much the same himself in the past; there was something irresistible about spying on your teammate's dates. It was more surprising that, as far as Yagyuu could tell, Niou wasn't with them. Possibly he was too busy sulking.
Hikane seemed to be happy to be there. It hadn't actually been particularly hard to convince her to go on a date with him, once he'd framed it as him apologising for Niou breaking up with her. In fact, she was enthusiastic enough that he felt rather guilty about the fact that he wasn't enjoying the date. It wasn't her fault - she wasn't doing anything wrong - but he'd been drawn to her when she was being fierce and incisive, and now they were on a date she was demure and agreeable and it was boring. He didn't want to have to pick a fight with her to make her interesting again. Fuck. He took his glasses off, and pinched at his nose.
"Hikane-kun," he said, interrupting her in mid-sentence. "I'm terribly sorry, but I think I'm getting a migraine. Would you mind if we postponed the cinema until tomorrow instead?"
"Oh! No, of course not, if you're sick, that would be fine. Are you going to be alright?"
Yagyuu put his glasses back on, and managed a wan smile. "I'm sure I'll be fine by tomorrow."
When he got to Niou's, after a brief visit to his own home to shake off his teammates, Niou himself opened the door. He gave Yagyuu a startled look, and then called over his shoulder, "It's okay, it's for me."
"I'd like to talk to you, if I may."
"I'm not stopping you." Niou leant against the doorframe, casually blocking Yagyuu from entering. "Talk."
"In private."
"Nobody's listening."
"Uh-huh. Look, I want to hang out with my best friend tonight. Is that possible?"
Niou shrugged. "Weren't you supposed to be on a date?"
"I was. But she can't take up all my free time, isn't that right?"
Niou raised one eyebrow, and then turned and walked back into his house. Yagyuu followed, toeing off his shoes and bowing politely to Niou's mother as he passed the entrance to their living room. Niou led him upstairs without any attempt to speak, and as Yagyuu closed the door he expected Niou to do something drastic - punch him, kiss him, he couldn't tell.
Instead Niou sat cross-legged on his desk chair and steepled his fingers. "I do have schoolwork to do tonight. You can't take up all my free time either."
Yagyuu nodded, and gestured to his schoolbag in a way that he hoped indicated that he needed to do likewise. "That's fine. Would you like help with the English homework?"
Niou shook his head, and then tipped his head to one side. "What're you here for, Hiroshi? Really?"
"A cessation of hostilities. Yukimura-buchou threatened to drop us both from the team unless we patch things up."
"Yukimura can take a running jump, as far as I'm concerned."
"I'm very tired of fighting with you, Niou-kun."
Niou span his chair round to face his desk, and opened a textbook seemingly at random. "Yeah. Well, if you've noticed, I'm not actually kicking you out. Be grateful for that."
Niou's frosty mood seemed to have thawed after a couple of hours, and by the time Niou's mother called to ask if Yagyuu was staying for dinner Niou's response was to call down that of course he was. Yagyuu gave him a faintly grateful smile, and Niou shrugged.
After a perfectly cordial meal with Niou's family, Niou locked the door behind Yagyuu and threw open his window. He draped himself along the window-ledge and lit a cigarette, giving Yagyuu an expectant look.
Yagyuu perched next to him and took one of the cigarettes from the open packet, spinning it around in his fingers thoughtfully.
"So you really ditched your girl just to come hang out and study?"
"Only temporarily. I'm supposed to take Hikane-kun out tomorrow instead now."
Niou leaned in, smoke curling out of his nostrils. "If I asked you to hang out with me tomorrow instead, would you ditch her again?"
Yagyuu lifted Niou's hand and used that cigarette to light his own. "I'd consider it, if I didn't think that would make me an even worse boyfriend than you were."
Niou's mouth pulled sideways into something like a grin as he slumped back against the edge of the window. "Well, we couldn't have that now, could we."
"Not with our respective reputations." Yagyuu fanned some errant smoke back towards the outside and thought about his conversation with Yanagi. "Niou-kun, I'm not sure how serious I am about her yet. She's very sweet, but after today's date I wonder if she's, well, a little too-"
"-too sweet?" Niou smirked. "Well, well."
They stayed there for a while, Niou draped half-out of the window and Yagyuu leaning past him, until Niou stubbed out his cigarette and stretched. He managed to do so without touching Yagyuu at all, and Niou avoiding physical contact felt like an accusation.
"Are you staying over?"
"I hadn't planned on it." Yagyuu put out his cigarette too, and leaned over Niou to flick it into the neighbour's garden, deliberately letting his body press against Niou's arm for a moment. "Would you like me to?"
Niou gave him a very direct - almost inviting - look, but then turned his head away sharply. "Perhaps not. Let's not push it, hmm?"
Yagyuu perched next to him, careful to avoid more contact. "Very well. Will you tell me when I've outstayed my welcome, or should I get ready to go now?"
"For fuck's sake, this isn't easy for me either, you know."
"When I said I didn't want-"
"Don't." Niou glared at him, his eyes hard and dark. "Really, I mean it. Whatever you think you want to say, I don't want to hear it."
Yagyuu bit his lip, and then crouched down to gather up his books. He didn't look up as he spoke. "Niou-kun, you're right to be angry. I was an asshole, okay?"
He hauled his bag onto his shoulder as he stood. Niou was staring out of the window.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
He had hoped to feel Niou's hand on his shoulder as he unbolted the door, or some kind of contact, but instead he just heard a faint "yeah" before he closed the door behind him. He was halfway home before his phone beeped.
See you tomorrow.
I'll buy you lunch.
No, you'll buy drinks, on Thursday, after club. Be glad I'm not asking for a date with your sister.
Yagyuu smiled, relieved. Terms accepted.
Niou had some errands to run immediately after tennis practise, which meant that Yagyuu had enough time to line up a row of shot-glasses on the bar in preparation. He handed one to Niou when he arrived, bowing over the gesture.
Niou tipped the vodka back, elegantly, and this time Yagyuu didn't bother to stop himself watching the way Niou's throat moved as he swallowed.
"So," said Niou, resting an elbow on the bar, "how was your date yesterday?"
Yagyuu sipped at his glass. Niou had already asked earlier, too casually, but Yagyuu had been usefully distracted by another student before he'd had to answer. "We just went to the cinema. It was perfectly fine."
"Fuck, you sound so enthusiastic." Niou dipped a finger in his next glass, and started drawing random patterns on the bar with his finger. "Someone asked me a while ago, why bother dating someone you don't want to date?"
"A good question." Yagyuu finished his glass, and set it down carefully. "She's a very nice girl, Niou-kun."
Niou grunted, and picked up his drink. "I see. I suppose that works for some people." He tipped it back.
Yagyuu leant back in his seat. "I imagine it does." He pushed his glasses back up his nose. Time to put his faith in Yanagi's data to the test. "I, however, told her I didn't want another date."
"Oh."
"I'm not sure I'm particularly suited to nice girls."
"Well, that makes two of us." Niou seemed to be trying not to smile, to Yagyuu's delight.
"It seems like it." Yagyuu reached out and took another glass. "Which means, I think, that you and I need to talk like grown-ups at some point."
"You think so?"
"And I suspect I need to apologise to you."
Niou looked at the glass in his hand, and tipped it thoughtfully. "I thought this was the apology."
"Mm, I suppose in part, but I need to apologise for more than just the other day. You see, I spoke to Yanagi-kun. He decided to illuminate some patterns in his data for me."
"Did he? That sounds ominous."
"I think he took pity on me. Apparently I'd been rather oblivious."
Niou put the glass down, folded his arms on the bar, rested his chin on them, and stared at the table. "Get to the point, Hiroshi. What, precisely, were you being oblivious to?"
"Rather a lot." Yagyuu knocked back his shot, and coughed. "He assumed you'd, and I quote, finally confessed to me."
"Shit." Niou slumped further onto his arms, his gaze fixed on the table. "Way to rat me out, Yanagi."
"I'm still not actually clear on what you want from me, Niou-kun."
Niou looked up at Yagyuu through his eyelashes. "Really. You seemed to have a pretty clear idea when you stuck your hand down my pants."
"I mean, I don't know if you want just sex, or more than that."
"What else is on offer?" Niou sat up. "Because, fuck it, Yagyuu, do you have any idea how long I've been hoping-"
"Yes, I do. With a level of precision that might alarm you."
Niou blinked. "Shit, Yanagi's evil."
"As for what else is on offer, well, you tell me." Yagyuu stared at the table. "I think I've reconsidered how I'd feel about a boyfriend. But it's up to you; do you want that?"
"I don't know. Labels, it doesn't matter, really." Niou stood up. "But no more drinking tonight. I want to know we're both sober."
Outside, Yagyuu stared up into the sky for a moment. It was still light, but the sunlight had that golden tinge to it that meant it would soon be sunset. He reached out a hand to Niou, who hesitated.
"What time's your curfew going to be today?"
"It isn't. I told my parents I was staying at your house tonight."
Niou gave him an amused look. "That doesn't sound like an assumption a gentleman would make."
"I was feeling optimistic." Yagyuu hitched his bag up onto his shoulder again. He had two sets of clean school uniforms with him, in case neither of them went home. He hoped he'd need them. "And Yanagi-kun was kind enough to offer me his floor to sleep on, if necessary. Where shall we go?"
Niou's hand curled around his, finally. "I don't mind."
"Love songs and salarymen, then?"
Niou laughed, and then spread his arms wide. "Bring it on."