Shiver ~ By Moon-Ying
Author's note: Hi, it's Fujin (Yes, I've changed my name!). This is a song fix for Touya and Yue-you know the really cold but oh so hot moon guardian? **tear** There are so little of Touya/Yue(Yukito) stories out there! BTW if you don't know it, this is a story of romance between two guys. (They make such a kawaii couple!) If you don't like it you may leave. Don't flame me! I won't listen to you! **Puts fingers in ears and sings do-re-me on the top of her lungs**
Disclaimer: The song is called 'Shiver' by Jamie O'Neal. Me don't own the song and me don't own CCS. If only…**sob**
~*~*~*~
He knew someone on top of the roof. Even though he had given up his sixth sense for the exchange of his friend's life, his reflexes and gut feelings were still as strong as ever. At the moment his reflexes made his muscles tighten with the growing urge to jump out of bed and do something about it and quickly. He had exams the following morning and staying up at midnight wasn't very smart, especially if he wanted to bet Yuki this time.
Touya didn't know how long he had just laid there on his bed, hardly breathing and barely blinking. He needed to no for sure that the thing on the roof wasn't a cat or another animal before he did anything. Yet as the minutes crawled by his gut feelings almost screamed at him that whatever was on the roof sure wasn't an animal. Then he heard it. It was like a fluttering of a bird's wing. A rather large bird. It might have been an owl but Touya didn't by it. His mind was playing tricks on him.
He quietly sat up in bed; the white glow of the moonlight filled his room from the window. Whatever was up there was directly over him. He was thankful that the kaijuu herself was sleeping over at Tomoyo's house while his Otousan was away on another out-of-town meeting and would be back later on in the week. If they had been here, Touya would have strove to protect them by calling the police and not reaching for a bat under his bed instead. He didn't have the responsibly to protect anyone now.
As soundlessly as possible he griped the bat until his hand was pure white and slipped out of the bed. He didn't bother doing on the lamp at his nightstand or putting on a pair of socks. The floor beneath his was as cold as a sheet of pure ice. Touya couldn't help but shiver as he quickly moved to the window. For a moment, he just stood there, all the move determined that something or someone was on the roof. He was a little apprehensive but not much. He held his breath as his raised the bat and slowly opened the window, letting in the icy wind of winter.
Goosebumps rose absentmindedly on his arms and the air was cold enough to made his teeth chatter. What in the hell would be on the roof in such freezing weather? Maybe it was a wounded bird or a kitten wanting nothing but warmth from the winter cold. Those thoughts made Touya frown and place the bat down on the floor. There was no need to frighten whatever thing was up there. Placing his palms on the frosty windowsill, Touya stuck his held out the opening, glaring through the think night. He angled her head so that he could look back at the roof, squinting and freezing his ass off. What he saw made his eyes small with shock and suddenly the world didn't seem so cold anymore.
Don't know how you do it
Like there's nothing to it
You just look my way
"Yue…"
Touya had whispered his name in the most quiet of ways but the moon guardian, nonetheless, had heard him. Looking a solemn as ever, Yue shifted his eyes from the moon to gaze down upon the face of a very bewildered Touya. His purple, feline eyes seemed as lifeless and strangely beautiful from the white light of the moon. The cold wind tugged at his long white cape and hair but the guardian didn't even shiver. It was like he was ice himself. His large beautiful wings were wrapped about her form was this legs were pulled up towards his chest. Yue seemed indifferent to everything at the moment. Touya couldn't help but think he was crazy-beautiful but very crazy.
"The moon is very beautiful, Touya," Yue spoke after a moment. His voice heavy as if centuries of tragedy and betrayal weighted every word down. "A beautiful thing that can bring envy out of anyone."
Touya shook his head in complete confusion, staring at the moon guardian as though his long silken locks had been turned into slimy, hissing snakes. Why in the world was Yue sitting on the roof in the middle of the freezing night and why was he talk about the moon? Of all things! He should be complaining about the weather and numb just like Touya.
Finally, after a moment, Touya said, "What are you doing here? Even Sakura has enough sense not to stay out in the middle of the night! My God, it's as cold as hell out here."
~*~*~*~
I lose my composure
Don't know what to say
Yue quickly looked away, glancing down at his bare feet almost in embarrassment. He just needed to see Touya. Even when he slept within Yuki all day, the feeling had never left him. It had plagued his every thought and dream as he slumbered until the point he had to do something. That was when Yuki feel asleep too and met with him in the dream. Yue was a little wary that his other half knew him so well because it was Yuki's advice the he come see Touya that night. Yuki also sensed Yue's hesitation because he had moved closer to Yue in the dream and lightly kissed him mouth. The gentle gesture was enough to wake Yue.
But how could he openly confess that to the guy who looked as though he was a crazy loon that escaped from the insane asylum? He didn't think he had the right to confess it at all. It's just that Touya made him…forget things, painful things. Tormenting things that have followed his heart like a curse. With Touya, Yue felt safe and loved just like his counterpart, Yuki.
"I need to talk to you," Yue whispered into the night. He didn't meet Touya's gaze when he said this but why did his heart beat so much? The feeling was almost excruciating, new but excruciating. A soft glow heated up his cheeks as he quickly darted his dark amethyst eyes to see Touya's face. His heartbeat quickened up again when he looked at that handsome face as it had done so a million times before.
"Is something the matter?"
Yue had expected an angry remark or a shout from Touya. He did after all wake him up in the middle of the night. Maybe he was crazy. He shouldn't have come. But instead of animosity it was warmth and gentleness he heard in Touya's voice. He hadn't expected that. His surprise befuddled his brain him all the more until he didn't know what to say or how to answer the question he was so unprepared to answer.
An expression between pain and confusion passed through Yue face as he looked down at Touya. The other didn't seem exasperated, only slightly chilled, like he would wait up all night until Yue had let go of whatever was bothering him. Touya was so considerate. No wonder Yuki loved him.
"Do you want to come inside, Yue? I'll freeze in another moment or two."
Yue cocked his head to the side. Judging the situation, he couldn't just up and fly away for his life. Touya would worry but he wouldn't as Yuki about it in the morning. Maybe he shouldn't have come at all. He wanted to fly away, his longed to fly away but something held him back. It was Touya. Yue also longed to be with Touya, to be surrounded by his gentleness, and warmth, and…love. Fortunately this want far outweighed the one to run away. Yue was tired of running away and tried of being lonely.
Yue stood to his full height and said, "Arigato."
Touya offered a half-smile that turned up one corner of his mouth. Yue's heart sped up once more and was once again a mindless puppet, willing to go anywhere if led by the master.
I'm overwhelmed
You smile, I melt
Touya disappeared from the window and Yue soundlessly flew to it, flying down from the roof. He was worried that his large wings wouldn't fit through even if they were wrapped tightly around his body. But he had to try. Sitting down on the window ledge, he folded his wings about his torso. When Touya offered a hand to help, Yue didn't say a word as he reached for it. He didn't trust his voice enough. Touya's hand was very warm against his own and very strong, helping him balance himself as he moved through the window and into the room. He needed Touya's help again when he almost crashed into the floor. Thankfully the other quickly caught him and righted him in a blink of an eye.
"Arigato," Yue whispered for a second time as he stood before Touya. His hands were on his shoulders. Despite their warm, Yue wanted to shiver.
Touya smiled again. "Reminded me next time to let you in through the front door," he teased, removing his hands. "I don't want you to break your neck."
Yue almost smiled himself as he opened his wings. While he adjusted himself, Touya went to the window and closed it. Then he moved to his closet and pulled out a heavy sweatshirt. Since he was only wearing his boxers, he was very cold. Then he moved to the bedside and turned on the light, murmuring to Yue to have a seat on his bed. Yue sat down, suddenly very nervous, as Touya pulled up his desk chair and straddled the seat, bracing his arms across the back of it. Yue strove to appear busy with straightening out the white feathers on his wings so that he didn't have to look at Touya.
But the silence grew heavy and Yue's fingers began to ache.
"Where is Sakura-chan?" he asked, settling his hands in his lap.
"At Tomoyo's," Touya replied. "She took the stuffed animal with her. No one's here."
Yue nodded bur didn't speak for another moment.
"Keroberous can be a handful at times," Yue muttered, with a shake of his head. "But he is very strong and will no doubt stay beside Sakura if trouble should arise."
To this, Touya only nodded. Yue quickly shot him a hard glance. "Please don't tell him that, Touya," he pleaded. "It would only inflate his already large ego."
Touya smiled. "I would never think of it."
"Thank you."
More silence settled between the two. It unsettled Yue more than it had Touya however. While Yue was busy diverting his stare to the floor of the room and fiddling with his long white cape, Touya only stared at him. Yue wasn't uncomfortable by that though it felt Touya was trying to see inside his head.
He was sitting on Touya's bed.
That fact was slow to enter his brain but when it did Yue had to quiet the urge to sigh. He wanting to fall asleep on the bed too and bury his face in the pillow, inhaling Touya's bewitching aroma of soap and after shave. A faint blush settled into Yue's marble cheeks, forcing him to be glad that Touya couldn't read his thoughts.
Shiver, tremble, I never
No I never once felt so much
Yue didn't know what to say. Though it was a fine time to confide in Touya, his confession seemed so…pathetic. Touya was a gentle and strong character but his love was for Yuki and not him. He felt like he was the third person in the wrong seat for two at dinner. He felt like an outsider. Yuki had told him a million times that he wasn't, that Touya also had to love Yue. At the time, Yue gladly believed this, indulging his mind with thoughts centered on the tall, dark-haired Kinomoto. Now, he couldn't believe it. His old fears returned. Fears of rejection. Fears of pain. Fears of being that no one really wanted him. Fears that had been there even when Clow had been alive.
Yue couldn't do it.
He stood up quickly, muscles tense and face hardened by a mask of pain. Tears were quickly forming in his eyes. Touya stared up at him in surprise.
"I…" Yue began. His voice creaked and his fists balled. "I have to go. I…shouldn't have come. I'm so sorry."
He wanted to flee. He wanted to fly back to Yuki's house and fall asleep, never waking up. Why did he think that he could come here and be with Touya? Why did he think it would be so easy? He couldn't betray Clow even though he's master was dead and had never loved him. It was too painful. It was too painful to live. For a moment Yue wished he had never been born. Then he wouldn't have to carry such a heavy burden of woe and desolation on his shoulders. Why had he'd been awaken? He would have been happy to remain the silent aspect of Yuki, dreaming his dreams and living his life.
He turned to the window, ready to bolt. Touya's hand on his shoulder stopped him. He winced under his touch. Though it was gentle it felt like fire, burning a fiery path straight to his heart. He couldn't move. The tears swelled up in his eyes and began to pour silently down his white face as he trembled under Touya's touch.
"Onegai," Touya whispered behind him. "Don't go."
His voice was so soft, so warm to Yue's ears. Yue bite his lower lip, momentarily closing his eyes as if in pain.
~*~*~*~
"Yue…"
"Master…" Yue quickly sat up, his eyes still stain with slumber. It was night and Yue had been sleeping before a roaring fire in the large library.
Clow Reed looked down at him, gently running his large hand through his hair. Yue wanted to close his eyes and purr.
"I'm sorry I woke you up," the dark-haired magician whispered to him.
Yue shook his head. "I don't mind, Master. I was waiting up for you."
A soft smile made Clow's face glow in the firelight.
"Arigato, moon angel."
Yue blushed. That was his nickname Clow, and only Clow, called him. Though he wasn't an angel, he would die to keep Clow saying it over and over again. The words were so beautiful.
"It's the least I could do."
Clow nodded, slowly settling himself behind Yue on the rug before the fire. He said very close to him on his knees though Yue didn't mind it. All he had to do was lean back just an inch and he would be resting against Clow's chest. It was a sinful thought but Yue didn't care. At the moment all he wanted to rest with Clow, with his arms encircling him. He felt Clow's breath on his neck and shivered.
"Yue."
"Yes, master?"
"I hate to tell you this," Clow began, whispering now in such a husky voice. Yue's heart tightened. "But…I'm…I'm dying."
"Nani?!" Yue asked, his widening with shock. He quickly spun his face around to his master's. "Dying? How? Why? How can you?" Tears were filling his eyes rapidly. "But, you can't die, master! I-we can't let you. Isn't there some magic to stop it?"
"I'm sorry, Yue," Clow whispered, his face sad. He gently cupped Yue's moist face in his hands. "But no magic in the world can stop this. I'm not God, Yue. I'm sorry."
Yue sobbed quietly. "I won't let you die, master. I won't."
"I'm sorry for betraying you like this, Yue," Clow told him, his thumbs tenderly rubbing his creature's trembling jaw. "I don't want to die. You. The cards… Keroberous. They mean so much to me…"
Yue looked into his dark eyes. "Don't leave me, master."
Clow shook his head. He looked like he wanted to say something when Yue quickly placed his lips over his mouth. Clow seemed surprised but quickly settled into the urgent embrace, holding Yue's face close with trembling hands. The kiss was demanding and quick and over when Yue pulled away. His eyes were frightened.
"I'm sorry, master," he muttered. "I shouldn't have done that. It was sinful." He looked like he wanted to cry. He tried to turn his face away but Clow quickly got him and pulled his face closer to his once again.
"Yue," Clow whispered in a rough voice, glazing into his longingly. "Give me that sin again."
The second kiss lasted much longer and passion ruled it from the beginning to the end. Yue clung to his master as Clow ravished his mouth over and over again with his mouth and tongue. Yue didn't want the night to end. He though he had found heaven at last.
~*~*~*~
Yue stared back to Touya as though he had been hit. Then slowly, ever so painfully slowly, the tears surfaced again and he broke down, burying his face in his hands. Touya seemed pained and quickly pulled the smaller man into his arms while Yue continued to sob quickly.
"Why did you leave me, Clow?" Yue cried quietly. Without a word, Touya stroked his shuddering back and long hair, gently rocking him. "Did you love me? How could you have left me?"
Yue continued to cry for another moment or two. Touya didn't try to stop him. He stood there silently as he always stood, not minding the tears that had fallen on to shoulder, soaking the material. Only when Yue was calmer did Touya move to guide him to the bed. He gently pushed Yue onto the bed and knelt down before him.
"Now I know something is wrong. Yue, you know you can tell me. It has something to do with Clow, right?"
Yue could only nod, his lips trembling. He stared back at Touya, not ashamed of his tears, while the other held onto his hands tightly.
"If you can't tell me what's going around in that head of yours, I can't help you," Touya told him gently.
Yue sniffed pathetically and Touya reached up to wiped the tears away from his face. Yue tried not to lean into his touch too much. His heart skipped a beat or two though at Touya's soft caress. Suddenly, Yue's hands shot up and grasped Touya's hands in his, slowly rubbing his cheek against his warm palms over and over. The contact was as sweet as heaven. Yue closed his eyes, not able to see Touya's gentle smile.
"I loved Clow more than anything," Yue slowly whispered to Touya. He coyly opened his eyes to gaze down at the other through his dark lashes.
"I know you did, Yue," Touya replied. He sounded breathless but his voice was still remained soft. "It must have hurt you very much when he died."
"He sealed me away before he died," Yue confessed. "I wasn't even there with him even though I wanted to be. When he was gone I vowed to protect my heart from everyone, even my new masters. I didn't want to feel that sort of anguish again. But know…even though I have tried…I can't run anymore. I never wanted his to happen, Touya. I never wanted to come in-between you and Yuki…I'm so sorry. So sorry that I love you…You probably don't want to hear this…but I have to say it. Just once. I never got a chance to tell Clow…"
"Yue…"
Hesitantly the weeping moon angel raised his eyes to meet Touya's. In those dark brown orbs all he saw was love. Genuine love and even a little of adoration. Yue lost his train of thought, thinking how he would have loved to loss himself in Touya's eyes forever and never wake up again.
It shakes me how you take me
Deeper then I've ever been
"But Clow never loved me," Yue broke in gently. "Why should you be the same? I was made to be alone I suppose. I was not made to love…"
Touya's hand on his heart stopped his breathing. Eyes wide, he glazed at Touya.
"You have a heart, Yue," the other one said, pressing his palm gently against his chest. "I can feel it. It's pounding wildly now." He looked up at Yue and smiled. "If you have a heart surely you can love."
"But…I…"
"I love you too."
Yue's thoughts flew to the window. Slowly Touya's sat down next to him and cupped his face in his hands, gently rubbing his jaw with his thumbs. Touya's face was so close to Yue's that he could see every detail of the other's face. Yue stared directly into Touya's eyes, suddenly unafraid and very happy. Touya loved him.
Yue smiled, his eyes filling with tears. Slowly he raised his hands and gently took a hold of one of Touya's. He brought it to his parted mouth and gently kissed the palm of Touya's hand. Then he trailed his lips to the index finger and kissed the tender fingertip and then the middle finger. He heard Touya's soft sigh and felt Touya run his other hand through his hair.
Under my skin I
Shiver
Yue purred softly as Touya gently touched his long locks of hair, letting the silky strains fall through his spread out fingers like silk. He smiled against Touya hand, looking at him with an almost devilish spark in his eyes before enclosing his mouth around Touya's index finger and delicately sucking. When he heard Touya's sharp intake of breath, he began to use his tongue.
I love the way your whisper
Slowly, softly lingers
In my ear
Sitting almost side-by-side on the bed, Touya moved closer to Yue, his arm encircling Yue's waist, anchoring him against his chest. Yue still held Touya's other hand against his mouth, driving the other to wild distraction. Touya lowered his head and slowly began to nibble on Yue's ear. Yue quickly shuddered, not wanting Touya to stop without words.
Touya buried his face in the angel's soft hair, inhaling his scent of roses and whispering, "You're so beautiful," against his ear. He continued to nibble and kiss the sensitive lobe on Yue's ear until he was half-mad with pleasure.
You move a little lower
The world starts
Spinning slower
Yue whimpered when Touya placed a kiss on his neck, licking and nipping the sensitive skin with his tongue and mouth. Yue was breathless. Surely no such passion like this existed. Not even when he was with Clow that night had he been shaken up so much. He wanted to cry but at the same time wanted to kiss Touya the same way he was kissing him. Tears filled his eyes again as he leaned into Touya's mouth, sighing with rapture. Now time was completely thrown out the window as Yue's heart raced. He wanted to stay like this forever and never leave Touya.
Then it disappears
Your lips so close
We kiss almost
Yue left Touya's lips move away from his neck. He sighed with disappointment but when he opened his hazy eyes he saw his beloved staring down at him. Touya had such a warm, unguarded expression on his face that softened his eyes and smile that Yue forgot how to breathe. Slowly, Yue reached up to Touya and cupped his face in his trembling hands. Touya's mouth kissed his hands and smiled.
Yue's eyes roamed Touya's face, memorizing his face to the faint lines in his brow to the golden chip in his brown eyes.
"Do you think I will vanish, Yue?" Touya whispered, his mouth inches away from Yue's.
He blushed and shook his head. "No, just wondering if this is real or not."
"It's real," the other told him, his voice deep.
"I've never…felt this way before, Touya," Yue slowly admitted.
Touya smiled, brushing the back of his hand against Yue's warm cheek. "Not even with Clow?"
"At least of all with Clow," Yue murmured. Then he pulled Touya's face closer to his.
But Touya had over plans. He stopped before Yue could kiss him and captured his beautiful face in his own palms. He felt Yue's hands drop and settle them against his chest. Touya leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on Yue's brow and then another one on the bridge of his nose. He heard his angel's sigh as she placed little kisses on his chin and cheeks, loving the feeling of his soft skin against his lips.
Just barely touch
But that's enough
To make me
Yue had his eyes closed as Touya teased him with those tender kisses. But what he really wanted was to have Touya kiss him, a real kiss. He just had to be patient. Meanwhile his hands were caressing Touya's hard chest and shoulders without restraint. Even through the thick material of the sweatshirt, Yue could feel the ripple of muscles in Touya's brawny arms and chest. Yue loved Touya's power and strength. Finally Touya's mouth settled on his and Yue forgot to think of anything else.
Shiver, tremble, I never
No I never once felt so much
It shakes me how you take me
Deeper then I've ever been
It's to the core
At first the kiss was very gentle. Touya's moist lips kissed Yue's mouth, sucking and licking. Yue whimpered softly and leaned in more to get more of the kiss. When Touya refused to deepen it, Yue wrapped his arms around his shoulders and gently tugged his hair. This was enough to make Touya offer a throaty chuckle before he probed Yue's mouth with his tongue. Yue shivered, opening his mouth to accept the much-wanted invasion. The kiss suddenly turned up a notch as their tongues began to duel with one another. Touya's exploring and Yue's caressing. Touya groaned softly when Yue began to suck on his tongue so Yue did it again.
Under my skin I
Shiver
It shakes me
How you take me
Deeper than I've ever been
Finally the both pulled back from the kiss. They were both breathing heavily and gazing at each other with equaled passion in their eyes. They sat on the bed, face to face, for a long time. Neither of them wanted to break the spell the kiss had captured them with. Finally it was Touya who had moved first.
He grabbed Yue's chin with his thumb and forefinger and whispered, "I love you very much, Yue. But if you don't want to, we don't have to do anything more tonight."
Yue smiled and raced Touya's cheek with his fingers. "If its not too much trouble, To-ya. I'd…I'd like to stay with you."
"I'd be glad to have you." With that, Touya moved forward and placed a soft kiss on Yue's mouth.
It's to the core
Under my skin I
Shiver
Shiver
Touya moved back onto the bed, so his feet were no longer dangling over the side of the bed. He sat with his back against the wall. Yue watched his, his cloudy eyes mesmerized by his graceful movements but not sure of what to do now. His heart was still racing and it skipped a beat when Touya beckoned him to come closer.
Shiver, tremble, I never
No I never can felt so much
It shakes me how you take me
Deeper then I've ever been
Yue never wanted the night to end.
It's to the core
Under my skin I
Shiver
I shiver
Author's note
: sorry I ended it so quickly. I just didn't know where to go from there. ^^; Was it okay? Should I have written more? Gomen. I ran out of ideas! **sigh** I think this is one of my better works. What do you think? Yue and Touya pairings are so drool-able! Well I hope you liked it! ^_^