Conquering Space Boy
Summary: An argument with Maria on
the way back from Buckley's Point leads Michael to finally realize his own
impact on Maria's life.
Spoilers: Crazy. Takes place
after they lose the orb to Valenti in the woods when Michael was trying to meet
Topolsky.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
related to Roswell. This is simply fiction from a fan of the show. That's it.
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The drive back
home was deafening, despite the fact that neither one of the two teenagers
spoke a word. Maria's tears slid down her cheek as she sniffled in a hopeless
attempt to make them stop falling. Michael drove her car, hearing every single
breath she took, and it was killing him. Her muffled sobs overwhelmed the
silence and instilled a strain inside his chest.
"Are you okay?"
he finally asked, not taking his eyes away from the road. She wouldn't answer.
He waited another moment before glancing over to see her leaning against the
window, her left hand methodically reaching up to dry her face. Her cheeks were
red and her eyes wet. Michael breathed heavily, unsettled by the sight.
"Maria."
"Maria, would
you just say something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know.
Just something. Anything."
Maria merely
sighed and brought her hand back up to her cheeks. "I don't know what to say,
Michael. I don't know what to do."
"…I didn't mean
for you to come up here. If you wouldn't have insisted on it in the first
place."
"Gawd, Michael.
You just don't get it."
"Yeah, well,
obviously, I don't," he agreed angrily, setting Maria's tears off again.
Michael slammed the steering wheel in a fit of frustration. She let a sob
escape at the sound as she felt the Jetta speed up with Michael's anger. The
frigid stars sped past them in icy fury.
"Why are you so
upset? Is it because of the orb? You can find a way to get it back from
Valenti."
"It's not the
orb," he stated blankly. "It's because you're sitting there crying and I have
no idea what I did this time. Tell me what to do." His anger had suddenly
faded, but the confusion twisted in his voice was becoming apparent.
"You honestly
don't know, do you?" she asked in exasperation.
"No. I just
told you." He pulled up to a red light, rubbing his eyes as he came to a stop.
He jerked his head up as he heard the hard click of the car door opening. He
looked over to his right in time to see Maria slipping out of the car.
"Damnit!" he shouted, reaching over to close the door before pulling off the
road. He parked, turned the engine off and hopped out. He called her name as
she turned the corner.
He jogged after
her and soon came close enough to snatch her arm, spinning her around to face
him. "What the hell are you doing?" The white sweater hanging over her petite
body was wrapped tightly around her. It was cold enough that he could see puffs
whenever she exhaled.
"Walking home.
I can't take anymore tonight."
"We didn't even
meet Topolsky. What? Are you still scared? I wasn't going to put you in
danger."
"Michael, I
know that." She looked up at his face, made blurry from her own tears.
"Then what is
wrong?"
"Everything."
"Well, gee.
That helps."
"Do I have to
give you a list?" she asked.
"Maybe you
better."
Maria sighed in
aggravation. She brought a slender hand up to smooth back her short blond
tresses. Taking a deep breath, she began, "For starters, I've been so scared
ever since Topolsky came back. You don't know how on edge I've been ever since
that creepy guy approached Alex in the car. Now Valenti has that weird orb
thing and it's our fault because we brought it there, and Max is pissed at you
for it. I hate the way you guys are fighting, and I hate how he hit you. I hate
how you told the others not to meet her on account of how dangerous it was, and
you end up wanting to go by yourself. I mean, why do you do that? Do you have
no regard for anyone else? I can't have a normal date with you, and
unbelievably that has nothing do with the fact of your non-human status, space
boy. You seem incapable of understanding how a relationship works, and you act
like you're a hundred percent allergic to any shape or form of romance, when
all I've ever dreamed of is a guy that would sweep me off my feet. And that's
the shortened version, buddy."
Michael stared.
For the first time, she had rambled and he had fully listened to every single
word that sped over her full lips. "I'm sorry that I can't be Max," he mumbled,
ripping his gaze away from her steel eyes and down to the damp pavement.
"That's not
what I said. I don't want you to be Max. And I don't want to be Liz. I want us
to be us. I guess I was wrong for saying that I want what they have."
"Maybe you
shouldn't have told me that then."
"I want us to
be close. I've always meant that, and I want us to be able to have fun and
enjoy going out together. But you don't act like you want that too. Take our
date with Max and Liz last night."
"I told you.
Why do you even bother with me if you think I'm such a loser?"
Maria closed
her eyes, allowing the words to hit her. He didn't know it, but whenever he
berated himself, her heart ached. Don't say that, her mind whispered.
"Because I care
about you. I can't stop myself from wanting to be with you."
"I don't know
how to act sometimes, Maria. You know that…. But isn't it enough that I'm
trying? I mean, I've never done this before. I wouldn't for anyone else."
"I know. I
guess that's not what bothers me most."
"Then what is
it?" Michael shoved his hands in his pockets. Maria would have to be blind for
not seeing how far he had come. Max and Isabel wouldn't be able to explain his
words if they had been there to hear them. To be as open with mushy feelings as
he was allowing himself to be that exact moment in the frosty night air that
swirled around the two of them was definite progress, and not even Maria DeLuca
could deny it. Hell, the fact that he even remained there with her to "talk out
feelings" was a vast improvement. He couldn't figure out if Maria knew he did
it only for her, but he knew he would never come out and tell her that.
"What you did
tonight. Scaring the hell out of me. That goes beyond generic shampoo and a
blatant lack of table manners. Way beyond."
"Maria! Did you
listen to what I said? I'm sorry that I let you come with me. I was going to go
alone. Even when you jumped out of the car, I wasn't going to just leave you
there."
"Michael. Don't
be dense. Honestly, I wasn't concerned about being out there alone."
"You said you
were scared," Michael told her.
"Yeah, for you!
Why do you think I came with you?" she shouted. And it hit him just then.
Maria's words as they saw the headlights approaching registered in his brain.
He had been too shocked to realize it then. The only concern flooding over his
entire body was to get Maria out of there, afraid of who was in the rapidly
moving car. Granted, it had only been Max and the others, but neither one of
them knew it at the time. Fear of the unknown and the danger he had placed
Maria in overcame him. He had shouted for her to run, but she didn't move. Her
stubbornness infuriated him because he once again couldn't protect her, but
now, as they stood far from Buckley's Point, those words impacted him
instantaneously. They replayed over in his head. No. I am not leaving you.
"Maria," he breathed,
his face contorted in a confused effort to comprehend the emotion behind those
words.
"What?"
"What you said
… when I told you to run earlier."
"Yeah…." It was
Maria's turn to remove her gaze awkwardly.
"We didn't know
who was in that car. It could have been the FBI looking for me or maybe worse.
Whoever it was would have taken you too." He grimaced as he spoke the next
words. "They could have killed you just because you were with me."
Maria absorbed
the words as Michael's voice came out in an unusually rapid manner, absorbing
and terrified. "You stayed for me. You didn't have to."
"Now do you see
why I'm so upset about you running off in the first place? I don't know if I
can keep taking this, Michael…."
He leaned
against the brick of the building beside them. He shuddered as he stared at the
tops of the buildings. He had a headache, and he credited it to the amount of
arguing he had involved himself in, but he couldn't shake a new feeling
inserting itself into his chest just then. Maria DeLuca openly risked her life
for him. He never expected it. He knew he didn't even have a right to.
"Are you going
to say anything else or is the conversation over with?" Maria asked gently.
"Sorry. I just
don't know what to say. Kind of new to me, ya know? A human girl willing to
risk her life for some creepy Czechloslavakian."
Maria shot him
a look, wondering how he had found out about her subtle nickname for him. "Are
you still hung up on that little, itty bitty difference?"
"Maria! It is
not little."
"Can you listen
to me for a second? It doesn't matter to me, so why does it have to matter to
you?"
"It's my fight,
that's why. You getting yourself into that mess for my sake tonight makes that
even more clear."
"I did it
because it was you, okay? Michael, I'm making your fight my fight too. Because
I want a relationship with you."
"You sure are
something, Maria."
"Why is that,
space boy?"
He pushed
himself off the wall just then. And for as awkward as he felt all the times he
tried to be sensitive for her, nothing came more naturally then when he stepped
up to her and pulled the pixie girl into the warmth of his chest with the
sturdiness of his arms. He kissed her hair and whispered, "You're the only one
in the world that actually wears me down. You're breaking all my walls faster
than I can put them up. And I wish you'd stop making me feel so … not in
control," he breathed with a small smirk.
"I take that to
be the greatest compliment I've ever received." And she smiled for the first
time that night. Had he actually just told her that? She breathed in the sweet
breaths of relief over his shoulder.
She wouldn't
leave his side, even when she knew her life was in danger. Michael was still
having trouble getting over her devotion. It changed everything. Maria DeLuca
had stayed for him, and he would stop at nothing to protect her. He could only
hope to someday repay her. Yes, someday, he would stay for her.
The End
