Falling . Falling fast and far and forever and ever and ever. The bottom that was even more terrifying than the endless eternity of down.

You relive it every time you sleep (even when you keep the lamp on).

You especially relive what happened there and even more what didn't happen there. You especially relive the way his eyes wouldn't shut and the way they didn't move and the way they stared blankly at you like a corpse.

A corpse. Because he was a corpse and you couldn't do anything about it. His body was warm for a bit afterwards, and you held it close. But it soon became cold and there was no one to share the darkness with you. There was no one to bring you the light. You were alone and he was gone. Swallowed up by the darkness and the things in the black.

The Child of Wisdom wasn't so wise after all.

If you just hadn't taunted her. If you just had swallowed your triumph and fled while you could. If you just…

You wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, breathing heard. And you cry, because that's all you feel like doing.

Then you drink a cup of cold coffee that you brewed the morning before yesterday's morning and cry alone some more, because no one is there to cry with you.

Nobody understands. Not even Nico, who has seen things too horrifying for children to see. But the gods didn't care that they were children. They sent their children out to a war and those children came back gaunt and bony and with eyes so sad that they couldn't possibly be children eyes. Or they didn't come back at all, and they died with eyes so terrified that they looked too real to be children eyes.

Percy didn't make it out. But you did and you wish you hadn't.

And you hate yourself so much for it.

People try to comfort you. They look at you sympathetically. You hear them.

The one that lost it when she lost everything.

And you lie to yourself and say that it's okay and that nothing will ever not be okay.

But everything is not okay and you want to scream for it. You want to scream at everybody in this wretched world. But you don't, because no one would want to listen. No one would understand.

And you hate the world and everything on it for it. And you hate yourself for being so selfish. You hate yourself for being so stupid and naïve, so trusting. So trusting that life would give you everything you wanted and that you could have everything you wanted. You thought that you would have a happy ending.

But you sacrificed your fairytale when you unknowingly sacrificed it to the world. And you hope that you made the right choice, but you can't help but want to take it back.

And you hate yourself so much more for it.

A/N: Hi, guys. I usually hate Percabeth with a passion, but this bunny was so friendly and wouldn't go away, so I fed it some carrots.

Review if you feel like it.