A/N: Okay... so this is my first ever published fic, so if you would review I would really appreciate it, don't refrain from criticising the heck out of it. I really don't mind. This fic was a Christmas present for a friend, so excuse the Christmas setting. And I assure you, the 'action' (if you could call whatever comes from my head action) will follow this relatively... light... start. Also, all of my chapters are relatively short, so... ummm... they're good if you have a low attention span?
Remember: I (very obviously) do not own any of the familiar characters, only the plot (and probably not even that...)
"Sherlock...?" John paused. It was Christmas day, and he had bought and wrapped gifts for all of his friends/acquaintances- including Sherlock's mysterious brother, Mycroft. "Sherlock, you need to get up. They're going to be here soon." There was no answer. John sighed, turned his back, and left. There was no one, no single person on Earth who could be nearly as infuriating as his flatmate. Just as he was about to exit the flat, he heard Sherlock open the door. John turned around only to be greeted by the sight of Sherlock in nothing but a bed sheet.
"Merry Christmas, John."
"Um... thanks? How are you naked? In the middle of winter?!" John's face had contorted into a mixture of confusion, amazement and disgust, which Sherlock noted to be quite amusing. Before he could reply with a mildly sarcastic and not-at-all true remark about how he could quite easily be clothed, and how-did-John-know-he-was-naked, a cheery Mrs Hudson strolled through the door carrying a bottle of red wine with a bow on it.
"They'll be here soon b... Why, Sherlock! What the hell are you doing naked in the middle of winter?!" Sherlock gave her his best irritating 'get-out-of-here-please' grin and strolled back into his room and shut the door with a bang. John shook his head and made his way to the kitchen, indicating that she should follow.
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you, Mrs Hudson."
"Oh, it's quite alright deary. It's Sherlock-I should be used to it by now."
John stopped and shook his head again. "Unbelievable."
Mrs Hudson looked up in confusion. "I'm sorry?"
"Guess what's in the fridge this week?"
"Oh, don't tell me it's a head. I could never stand those. Thumbs, fingers, tongues, ears, hands, they're all fine. But a head? That's just too much."
"Nope. Sherlock bought a turkey."
"Are you sure it's a turkey? I heard that certain parts of the body resemble other meats..."
"Yes, John. It's a turkey. And Mrs Hudson, I am afraid to tell you that you had been completely misinformed. There is no part of the human body that remotely looks like a turkey, let alone a cow or lamb." Sherlock had since gotten himself cleaned up and dressed, in the usual sharp business shirt and pants. John was still getting over the fact that Sherlock, the most insensitive, infuriating, and annoyingly smart person on Earth had bought a turkey for Christmas, a day, John thought, that Sherlock probably didn't even know existed.
"Yes, surprise, surprise, I actually know what Christmas is and the time of year it occurs in. It's incredibly hard not to, London basically advertises the fact across every street. Not to mention the influx of Australian and New Zealander tourists who flood the entire place with their kids on summer holidays. I'm not stupid, John."
They were interrupted by the doorbell. Mrs Hudson squealed in delight.
"Someone's here! Come on boys, let's go and see who it is." She all but dragged John down the stairs with her and Sherlock followed begrudgingly behind.
There we go! So that's my first ever chapter on here. Review and let me know what you thought. Was it awful? Reasonably fine? I'm trusting you to tell me...