Disclaimer: I don't own this, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer
Author's Note: Yes, it is short, but I hope you guys enjoy it. Review!
I stared out the window with dread in my heart. I didn't notice how beautiful the snow looked, the early Christmas decorations, or even feel the biting cold of the season. Perhaps because in my heart I felt much colder. Edward was gone. I had finally accepted that he would never come back. And why would he? He had told me to my face that he didn't love me, as much as told me that I was just a burden to him. And that had hurt so much, I had known I'd never recover. But I hadn't realized until recently that because of that, I could never go on without him.
I walked slowly over to my dresser and opened my sock drawer. Buried at the bottom was a single bottle of little white pills. Ecstasy. The name was bitterly ironic, but they would have the desired effect. So deadly that just a few pills could be a fatal dose, and I had plenty more than that.
I put the pills on my bed and walked downstairs calmly, not crying or hysterical like a lot of people tend to be at doing what I was about to do. I'd never understood that; if it was your choice to die, why not do it on your own terms and with a smile on your face? Crying usually meant you were sad, and I was in no way sad over this. Just at why it was happening, and even then, sad was too mild a word. Try bitter and unrelenting agony that haunted me every second.
Charlie was at work and wouldn't be home for hours, so there was nothing to worry about on that score.
I went into the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, and walked back upstairs with it. I took a sip from my glass and then opened the bottle. Swallowed a few. Took another quick sip of water. Repeat several times, until the bottle was empty. I laid back slowly. I didn't feel anything yet, but I would soon. I just wanted it to be over with.
I didn't leave a note for Charlie. What could I say, anyway? To him or anyone else, nothing could justify this. And they would all know the reason, so I didn't need to write it out.
Black spots began to encroach on the corners of my vision, and I willingly closed my eyes, ready to drift away. Except I didn't. Nothing is ever that easy, it seems. Something made me blink, and then open my eyes.
Edward stood over me, looking enraged and heartbroken. "Bella, what have you done," he whispered. I try to reach out to take his hand, but I can't find the strength. "I don't want to live without you," I tell him. "I won't."
Edward stares at me with fierce eyes. "Call your father. Or your friends. Anyone." I roll my eyes. I'm not interested in being saved. "Bella, don't do this," he pleads. But from the slowing of my heart rate, I know that its already too late. I'll be dead in just a few minutes. I wish so badly that he was here, even if he doesn't love me anymore. His presence could make anything better. Even dying.
"All I ever wanted was you," I murmured. "But I can't have you, and I accepted that. Just like you have to accept this." Alarm flashes across his face. "No! You're too young. You promised me that you would take care of yourself!" I feel a slight stirring of wistfulness. "I have," I tell him. "For as long as I could."
The room is no longer clear. Everything is a wild haze, a random mix of color. "Please don't do this," he pleads, sounding so defeated that I want to cry. He knows that its too late now. I can no longer fight the darkness, and I don't want to. It feels soothing.
The last thing I hear is Edward's roar.
Not of pain, but of loss.