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Fullmetal Alchemist Unlimited Episode 8: Burgers Or Bust
Episode 98
"Burgers Or Bust"
NOTE #1: The season 1 intro goes the same
NOTE #2: Every kind of fighting move, especially punching and kicking, have Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm fighting move sound effects.
The LinoCorp Agricultural Facility Feedlot, The LinoCorp Agricultural Facility, Resembool, Amestris – January 17, 1999 5:15 AM
At the ice and snow-covered LinoCorp Agricultural Facility, in the LinoCorp Agricultural Facility Feedlot, which is currently empty, a slaughterhouse truck filled with a new supply of mooing cows of all colors are inhumanely dumped into the empty feedlot by the truck's mysterious L-Bot-shaped driver for fun, all while his shadow wears a LinoCorp Agricultural Facility uniform and hat, then a mysterious, evil caped figure in the shadows laughs like The Lightning as the screen moves up to show the night sky.
The Elric Household, Resembool, Amestris – January 17, 1999 7:38 AM
At the Elric family's ice and snow-covered house, in the kitchen, a hysterically hungry Winry, in her slippers and sleeping robe, is trying to look for anything to eat for breakfast, including the refrigerator, freezer and cabinets, but finds absolutely nothing, making her tummy growl like a lioness. "Winry, honey. What's for breakfast?" Edward, who is barefoot, wearing boxers and a t-shirt, as he walks into the kitchen and yawns. "YEAH, MOM! WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST!?" Maes and Trisha Jr., who are in their pajamas, asked cheerfully as they dash into the kitchen, with Rosie asleep in her crib upstairs in the nursery, with Den guarding her. "Edward, kids, I'm afraid there's nothing to eat for breakfast." Winry said sadly as she shrugs her shoulders, making Edward, Maes and Trisha Jr. put their heads down in sadness, then Winry considered going out to eat. "Hey! Why don't we go out and eat!? A new burger joint in opened in Central City called Burgerland!" Winry said happily as she, Edward, Maes and Trisha Jr. cheered together. "I'll go get Rosie!" Winry said as she heads upstairs to the nursery, picks up a giggling and drooling Rosie, heads downstairs and along with Edward, Maes and Trisha Jr. rush upstairs to their rooms, change into their normal clothes, head back downstairs, put on their winter clothes, dash out the front door, step into their ice and snow-covered 1986 Ford Taurus Wagon and Edward drives Winry and the kids to Burgerland, to which he did with his family.
Burgerland, Central City, Amestris – January 17, 1999 9:15 AM
At the ice and snow-covered Burgerland burger joint, which looks like a combination of McDonald's and Burger King on the outside, with a giant, animatronic cartoon hamburger waving to the customers from the top of the restaurant, Edward, Winry, who is carrying a gurgling and drooling Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. enter the restaurant, take off their winter clothes and take their seats, with Edward getting a booster chair for Rosie, then puts Rosie in it and goes back to his seats, where he, Winry, Maes, Trisha Jr. and Rosie look at the Lino Jackson-style menu board on the wall behind the food counter from afar, then they approach the food counter to tell the server what they want from the menu, all while Winry carries an upset Rosie, with Edward ordering first. "I'll have the King-Sized Jumbo Burger, large fries and a large coke." Edward said as the shadowy, L-Bot-shaped male server types the name and price of Edward's order on an electronic cash register. "I'll have the Queen-Sized Jumbo Burger, large fries and a large sprite." Winry said as the shadowy, L-Bot-shaped male server types the name and price of Winry's order on the electronic cash register, then Maes and Trisha Jr. look at the kid's menu. "I'll have the Prince-Sized Junior Burger, small fries and a small coke." Maes said as the shadowy, L-Bot-shaped male server types the name and price of Maes' order on the electronic cash register. "And I'll have the Princess-Sized Junior Burger, small fries and a small sprite!" Trisha Jr. said as the male server types the name and price of Trisha Jr.'s order on the electronic cash register, thus finishing typing the name and price of the Elric family's order. "That'll be $12.00." The Shadowy, L-Bot-shaped Male Server said in a male human voice as Edward's hands him $12.00, then he, Winry, who is holding an almost crying Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. head back to their table to wait for their order, all while The Shadowy, L-Bot-shaped Male Server enters the dark, employees-only kitchen door and vanishes into the darkness.
The Burgerland Underground Slaughterhouse, Burgerland, Central City, Amestris – January 17, 1999 9:15 AM
But it turns out the kitchen door was actually an elevator that leads down to The Lightning's Burgerland Underground Slaughterhouse, where innocent cows, who are mooing in a high-tech metal cage, are inhumanely turned into hamburgers. The process starts by a few L-Bots killing the cows with a bolt gun to the head after pulling them from their cage via unlocking it with an L-Bot ID card, then mechanical grappling hooks pick up the deceased cows and puts them on an automatic conveyor belt, where they are cut into gory, diarrhea manure-filled, hamburger-sized pieces of meat with an automatic chainsaw, then go into a dark processor where they are flattened, which leads the premature hamburgers to another conveyer belt that has mechanic claws that drops them into a giant meat grinder with two, built-in, giant circular blades used as an entrance to the grinder itself, to which it instantly lets out a complete Burgerland hamburger through its ending pipe, then a third conveyor belt that has another mechanical claw places the trays that hold the burgers, to which they land on them, to which a half disguised L-Bot brings it to the counter and serves it to the customer, then the scene cuts to the L-Bot Sergeant approaching The Lightning, the latter of whom has his hands on his hips, to give him the report of his scheme. "Everything is going according to plan, Lord Lightning." The L-Bot Sergeant said as he salutes The Lightning. "And the Elrics?" The Lightning asked as he raises his right eye while his hands are still on his hips. "They suspect nothing!" The L-Bot Sergeant answered wickedly as he bows to The Lightning, then goes back to supervising the slaughterhouse. "HHHAHHAA!" The Lightning laughed wickedly as the screen zooms in on his laughing face.
Burgerland, Central City, Amestris – January 17, 1999 9:17 AM
Back upstairs in the restaurant, Edward, Winry, Maes and are just about finished eating their meat-tastic Burgerland burgers, as well as their fries and soft drinks, but Rosie is starting to get really upset, but no one notices it yet, then Edward takes a huge bite at the rest of his King-Sized Jumbo Burger. "MMM! THIS REALLY IS MEAT-TASTIC!" Edward cheered happily with his mouth full until he finally swallows it with a brief "Mmm!". "Edward, Rosie's starting to get upset, can we go back home now?" Winry asked as Rosie starts to cry, worrying the rest of our heroes. "You're right, honey. Let's go back home!" Edward replied as he, Winry, who is carrying a crying Rosie in her arms, Maes and Trisha Jr. get off their seats and prepare to leave the restaurant, but once they made it to the glass door, they noticed it was locked from the inside as Edward tries to push it out, but to no avail, making Rosie cry even louder. "Edward, why can't we leave?" Winry asked in worriedness as Edward was starting to get angry. "I'll complain to the owner!" Edward replied angrily as he heads to the counter, jumps over it and opens the kitchen door, only to fall into the top of the elevator into the underground slaughterhouse screaming face first, thus breaking it and suffering only minor injuries, but this still scared Winry, who is carrying a crying Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. as they head to the kitchen door to see if Edward is okay. "Edward! Are you okay, honey!" Winry called as she carries a crying Rosie, with Maes and Trisha Jr. beside their worried mother. "Never felt better, Winry!" Edward with his face still on the destroyed elevator top while giving a thumbs up with left hand. "We're coming, Edward!" Winry called as she was carrying a violently crying Rosie then she, Maes and Trisha Jr. jump into the top of the destroyed elevator, then lift Edward back up, then he smells cow blood coming from next to the elevator. "Winry, it's smells like cow blood down here, now I know why we can't leave, this isn't a restaurant, IT'S A SLAUGH-" Edward was about to scream until he, his wife and kids are horrified and shattered to see all those innocent cows getting slaughtered by the L-Bots for their meat to make Burgerland's hamburgers. "So nice of you to drop by, alchemist!" The Lightning greeted mockingly from upstairs in the slaughterhouse's control room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE POOR COWS!?"
Winry asked loudly with tears in her eyes as the kids start crying as well, making Edward furious. "Well for starters, Winry, this slaughterhouse can process five-thousand cows in a single day! All to feed you fat humans!" The Lightning answered mockingly as Edward gets angrier while clunching his right fist. "Beautiful, isn't it? The main ingredient is diarrhea manure!" The Lightning snarled happily as our heroes start to get sick. "So you mean…I've been eating?...EWW!" Edward cried as he and the rest of the Elric family vomit in pure disgust, getting vomit on their clothes as well on the blood-covered floor. "And what's a little E. coli between friends? But apart from all that, I'd like you to meet THE MURDER BURGER!" The Lightning roared as he summons the burger-like demon The Murder Burger through force lightning from his fingers via lightning teleportation as it makes Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm lightning sound effects, all while The Murder Burger roars viciously with the taste for human flesh. "WINRY! KIDS! GO AND FREE HE COWS! I'LL TAKE CARE OF MURDER BURGER!"
Edward shouted as Winry, who is carrying a vomiting Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. head to free the cows, but the L-Bots running the slaughterhouse grab them and pins them down onto the blood-covered floor, to which Winry, Maes, Trisha Jr. and Rosie starting vomiting and crying violently, then The Murder Burger leaps out the control room's window while he breaks its glass as it hits the blood-covered floor, prompting Edward to leap in the air with Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm leap sound effects towards the roaring Murder Burger, then Edward activates his blade arm and slices The Murder Burger in half horizontally, resulting in the burger demon's saliva to land and dissolve the L-Bots holding Winry, Maes, Trisha Jr. and Rosie after hitting the blood-covered floor, dead as Edward lands on the blood-covered floor on his feet, setting Winry and the kids free as they rush to the high-tech metal cage holding the cows, but the ID cards that are needed to unlock it are dissolved by the dead Murder Burger's saliva, so Winry uses her wrench to break the cage's high-tech lock open while holding an almost cheered up Rosie, she opens it and the cows are freed as they moo in delight and crawl up the destroyed elevator to freedom. Edward comes to reunite with Winry and the kids, but a metal hook grabs him by the back of his shirt and pulls him up into the slaughterhouse's killing floor. It is revealed that The Lightning pushed a red button near to all the other multi-color controls that is used to grapple intruders into the killing floor, but when he comes to kill Edward with his lightning from the damaged control room, he slips on a puddle of diarrhea manure and falls into a metal hook next to Edward by the cape, but is closer to the conveyor belt than him. Just when The Lightning was about to punch Edward in the cojones, Winry, who is carrying a giggling Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. make it upstairs to the control room, where they found a gray lever that shuts down all the controls, so Winry pulls it down, resulting in all of the controls in the entire slaughterhouse to shut down completely, but The Lightning grabs a Lightningrang from his utility belt with his right hand and throws it at the lever, resulting in all of the controls in the slaughterhouse turning back on, but Edward had to sacrifice his shirt to escape the grinder's circular as he lands on his feet while deactivating his blade arm, The Lightning tried to get the hook off his cape, but it was too late, he was sliced and grinded to a Lightning Burger as he screams in agonizing pain, then exits the grinder's pipe as a Lightning Burger, all while he lands on the third conveyor belt that has a tray that already holds him after landing on it, then the third conveyor belt rolls The Lightning Burger away. "Most of me is in considerable pain, but my sesame seeds are warm and fresh!" The Lightning said as the third conveyor belt rolls him into the darkness, to which the scene cuts to the Elric family laughing with their hands on each other's backs, with Winry holding a laughing Rosie in her arms. "Faithful viewers, there are STILL small family farms where you can get your animal products! By supporting them, you'll truly be a hero!" Edward said to us as he gently grabs Winry, who is carrying a cheering Rosie, Maes and Trisha Jr. and along with them, leap back up into the restaurant with Pre-Power Rangers Ninja Storm leap sound effects, then leave the restaurant and drive back home offscreen.
Moral of the story: Help put an end to factory farming! Go PETA!