I don't write much here, I'm usually on AO3 now. You can find me there with the name PrinceSkylar.
Anyways, I have a huge soft spot for rare Naruto ships and I'm on a rare Sasuke ship kick so enjoy. Naturally, I own none of the characters used.
He doesn't sleep well these days. That was to be expected given all that had happened and given the fact that he'd been having nightmares since he was seven years old. That didn't mean he liked it or that it made it any easier to toss and turn all night, dreaming of blood and tears in the few hours of sleep he'd manage to get. Even now, several years after he had returned to Konoha and the war had ended the nightmares hadn't calmed and sleep hadn't become any easier. His bed almost felt like a prison, offering him nothing but isolation and the unfortunate remembrance of trauma and heartache.
He had enough of it finally, storming out of his apartment in the dead of night. A walk...a walk sounded good. It sounded calming. At least, he hoped it would be. They had finally stopped following him around in "secret" a few months ago and for that he was thankful; a light night walk was out of the question when the ANBU were watching him. Now, though, he was free to walk the empty streets to try and escape the noise in his head. It was nice at night. Quieter than most people liked, but nice. No prying eyes watching wearily as if he'd snap and kill them. Just the thought of it made him grimace and he had to force those thoughts out of his head; he didn't fancy thinking about those things.
He wasn't at all surprised to find that his feet had led him to the village cemetery. It wouldn't be the first time he came here in the middle of the night and it most likely wouldn't be the last, he knew. There was a certain kind of peace that floated through the Konoha cemetery at night that he couldn't find anywhere else. Though, he supposed it was ironic that he found peace in a place associated with death, a place most other people came to grieve and mourn.
When Kakashi had become hokage he had made a special place in the cemetery to honor the Uchiha Clan, something better than the rows and rows of headstones that had been there before. There was a small monument there, one with the Uchiha crest on it and a plaque detailing the truth behind the Uchiha massacre. It had been something Kakashi had taken great care in, had had Sasuke's help and direction in making. It had meant a lot to Sasuke to see it built, to know that the truth was finally there for anyone and everyone to see. Still, though, he ached a bit as he stood in front of the stone monument. He probably could have stayed here all night, really, gazing at his family's crest, tracing his fingertips over the plaque. It was a warm night, though, and he knew that soon he'd be tired enough to get some sleep an hour or two before sunrise.
He didn't expect to hear someone coughing, though distantly of course, and it startled him a bit. He whipped his head around, squinting in the dark until he made out a familiar figure in the distance.
Shikamaru, of all people, was not someone he expected to see in the middle of the night. They weren't exactly...close. Well, actually Sasuke was only close with Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi and, more recently, Sai. But his bonds with the other's had grown up had been...strained until recently, and seeing Shikamaru in a place that was usually empty this time of night made him uneasy.
Shikamaru had people to mourn, Sasuke knew. His father and his sensei, two men the young man had been exceptionally close with. Sasuke could sympathize with that feeling of loss. But that didn't mean he was about to go over there and strike up conversation with a guy he'd grown up around, yet barely knew. He'd just mind his own business and silently leave-
Oh. Well, Shikamaru was looking in his direction now. He couldn't just leave now. That would have been rude and he was trying to not be rude to people if it was uncalled for. He sucked in a breath and tore his gaze away, thankful Shikamaru was nearly across the cemetery and couldn't hear his mildly irritated groan. He technically could still leave and act like they'd never seen each other but Naruto and Sakura were so adamant that he start being...social. More friends and people to talk to would make him less bored, they had said. They meant well but god, how was he supposed to make friends in a village full of people that still saw him as a threat? Let alone make friends with Shikamaru, one of the people who had nearly died trying to save him all those years ago when they were still just kids. The very idea mad his stomach twist but...well, there was no harm in trying. If he was lucky, Shikamaru would be polite and want to leave quickly and Sasuke would never have to think about this again.
Walking across the cemetery made his legs feel like stone and Shikamaru was watching him come closer, not moving from his spot. It actually made Sasuke a little nervous but he steeled his nerves, coming to finally stop beside the other man silently. For a second he wasn't sure what to say, but Shikamaru beat him to it.
"Hey." The Nara murmured, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "Didn't expect to see you here at this time of night."
"I could say the same about you." Sasuke murmured back, eyes falling to the headstone Shikamaru had been looking at. Ah, his father's. "I come here a lot at this time of night, actually...you don't, though. I mean, I don't usually see you."
"I usually come here early in the morning." Shikamaru admitted. "Just couldn't sleep, I guess. Felt like I should come here and visit my old man for a bit."
Sasuke didn't really know Shikamaru's family well, despite knowing his parents had, at one point, been close with the parents of all of the kids he had grown up with. He knew Shikaku Nara had been an intelligent, sometimes intimidating man but that was about as far as his own personal knowledge went. However, he knew how it felt to lose a father and he sighed gently. "I...couldn't sleep either."
"Do you ever sleep?" Shikamaru scoffed softly, jokingly.
Sasuke's lips twitched into a very small smirk. "Some times."
"Yeah, it looks like it." Shikamaru murmured. He pulled his hands from his pockets, pulling out a lighter and a lone cigarette.
Sasuke watched the Nara light it up from the corner of his eye, watching him take a long drag before blowing the smoke back out a few moments later. "Smoking is bad for you, you know."
Shikamaru blinked in surprise before he snorted a little. "Yeah, I know. Worried about my health, Sasuke?"
Sasuke shrugged a little bit. "I...guess so."
Shikamaru arched an eyebrow, seemingly amused, and shook his head a bit as he took another drag. "So, were you so mean when we were kids to hide that you're actually this god awfully awkward?"
Sasuke's eyes widened and he whipped his head around, at a loss for words for a moment. "I...No-"
"I'm kidding." Shikamaru cut in gently, a small snicker following the words. Then he sighed and grew serious once more, staring down at his father's headstone. "I think anyone would have been the same way if they'd been through what happened to you."
Sasuke frowned a little bit. No, he didn't have to open up that jar of negativity right now. So he just nodded and searched his brain for something else to say, something else to talk about. "I'm sorry about your father." He blurted out after a moment. He mentally winced.
Shikamaru made a soft humming noise, like he was thinking something over. "I'm sorry about your clan." He took another drag, the third one if Sasuke was counting correctly. "You know, Sasuke...I know you and I were never the closest but I'm really glad you're back and that you're doing well."
That...certainly caught Sasuke by surprise. He frowned again and turned to look at Shikamaru, watching his face under the moonlight. He was serious, that much was easy to tell. It made Sasuke's gut twist again. "I'm the reason you almost died when we were kids...the reason why several of you almost died."
Shikamaru looked taken back. They started at each other for a few silent moments, the cigarette poised between the Nara's lips. Sasuke's gaze was unwavering, an uneasy look of confusion but still guarded, as if readying himself for some sort of outburst. Shikamaru wasn't one for random outbursts, of course. He cracked a small smile, plucking the cigarette from his lips. "Been a while since I thought about that."
"You almost died." Sasuke repeated, still confused, still frowning and now wishing he had stayed home in bed after all.
"Yeah, I did." Shikamaru murmured. "I would have died had Temari not shown up and saved me. But then again, I knew at the time what I was getting into. Don't go thinking I regret going to save you, Sasuke, even if we failed."
Sasuke had to look away, his frown now more unsettled than confused. He couldn't grasp how people who had nearly died for him could view it as anything but awful and a waste of time. That's what he had done, anyways, wasn't it? Waste their time and get them all injured...nearly killed, even. "We weren't friends back then."
"We were comrades." Shikamaru told him, kneeling down to use his free hand to brush some stray blades of grass from his father's headstone. "Even if we weren't close or on the same team, we're from the same village. We...grew up together, essentially. Hell, I'm pretty sure my parents used to be friends with your parents...of course I'd go save you. Maybe I didn't even realize it back then but I didn't want a friend, someone I spent my academy years with and watched grow, get ripped away from us by...all of that bad stuff that was following you."
Sasuke hesitated, lip caught between his teeth for a second. Then he knelt down too, reaching down to gently trace his fingers along Shikaku Nara's headstone. It was cold to the touch but Sasuke felt like he was on fire with Shikamaru's eyes on him. "...I don't...really tell anyone this because I feel like they'd be empty words considering what happened but I...always appreciated that you all came after me. I...I forced myself not to think about it and convinced myself that it was foolish of you all because if I let myself think too hard about it, my heart would ache so badly I worry it would tear in two."
Sasuke paused to clench his slightly shaking fist, taking a deep breath. It was hard to be honest like this, even harder when it wasn't Naruto or Sakura he was speaking with. But Shikamaru was watching him patiently, looking just a little surprised by the other's words. Sasuke forced himself to keep talking, tilting his head back to he could stare up at the moon and the stars above them. "It was...hard for me to get close to people after what happened to my family. I...was lost in my need for revenge, for...closure. I think if things had been different, I would have gotten along with you and most of the other's fairly well. I thought about it a lot while I was gone...while I was hurting. I tried to convince myself that no one had ever liked me because I was careful to make sure of it but...I'd think about how you all came to try and bring me back. It would make my heart heart but in a...selfish way it would make me happy. I was...thankful to have people who cared enough to come after me, even if they didn't know me. And...it scared me to know that, too."
"Don't think I've heard you talk that much in years." Shikamaru chuckled, the sound making Sasuke look back at him in surprise. He was putting out his cigarette on a small rock near the headstone, shaking his head slowly. "I'm not gonna pretend to understand what you went through, Sasuke, because I have no clue. But...you were just a kid and you got dealt a bad hand in life. An awful one, at that...You did what you did and it can't be fixed but here you are now, proving every day that you're different and that you're growing. You were suffering, Sasuke...and I'm just glad to see that you aren't suffering anymore."
Sasuke felt his eyes widen in surprise and Shikamaru just smiled at him, standing up right and offering a hand to him. Sasuke stared at his hand longer than he should have, his brain lagging for a moment.
He never thought Shikamaru had much of an opinion on him but that...that was all...suddenly too much, and yet not enough. How had he and Shikamaru not gotten along in the past?
Sasuke took the other's outstretched hand and allowed Shikamaru to pull him to a standing position. And, well, if he held onto Shikamaru's hand for a second or two longer than was really needed, Shikamaru didn't mention it. Sasuke glanced aside, letting a rare and soft smile form on his lips. "Could have used words like that a while ago..."
"Guess Kakashi isn't the only one late all the time." Shikamaru chuckled a little bit. "Ever play shogi, Sasuke?"
"Can't say that I have." Sasuke admitted, falling into step alongside the other as Shikamaru headed for the cemetery exit.
The Nara hummed softly. "Care to learn? Sunrise is in a few hours anyways and I'm still pretty awake."
That sounded better than heading back to the stillness of his empty home, the cold of his sheets. It felt strange to suddenly be invited to Shikamaru's home but Sasuke let himself be selfish. He nodded. "Yeah, that sounds alright. I'm a fast learner though, so don't be too upset if I beat you."
Shikamaru laughed loudly, not seeing Sasuke's small, gleeful smile. "Oh, trust mel you won't beat me."
"Is that a challenge?" Sauske probed, arching an eyebrow at him.
Shikamaru smirked softly. "Yeah, maybe it is. Loser buys the winner lunch."
It didn't make a lot of sense how things played out this way but...hell, if Shikamaru was offering Sasuke his friendship, Sasuke wasn't foolish enough to turn it down.