Kuroko no Basket fanfic featuring Akashi Seijuurou x Kuroko Tetsuya, and major supporting character Ogiwara Shigehiro. Made specially as an entry of #FF #1stAnnivKfIND.
Fanfiction Kuroko no Basket dengan pairing Akashi Seijuurou x Kuroko Tetsuya dan peran pendukung dominan Ogiwara Shigehiro, dibuat khusus untuk lomba Fanfiction #FF #1stAnnivKfIND. Tema: Hurt
Written by Stripe (stripeapple)
Warnings: Shounen-Ai plot with no physical contacts;;; May contain slight spoilers up to chapter 217 of the original manga. Major spoilers for up to chapter 210 for the use of quotes;;; Imperfect English in use;;; OOCness;;; Plot twist intended;;; Rookie style writing (?);;; Please spare some time before reading this unless discontinuous reading pace is intended.
Plot: Future –imaginative- plot, Kuroko Tetsuya as a Preschool Teacher, takes place about ten years after middle school graduation.
Genre: Romance, Drama, Tragedy
Basic guidelines:
"…" are quotation marks, used for marking spoken words.
'…' are light quotation marks, used for marking written words or monologue expressing a character's thoughts.
"… '…'…" Light quotation marks inside quotation marks are used to indicate spoken words as someone is speaking, e.g. "He told me, 'I'd like to show you something.'"
When quotation marks has been used and not yet closed after a change of paragraph, it means that the words are being spoken still by the same character.
Word count: 9,591 (story only)
Language: English. 1 (one) foreign word(s) used.
!Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basuke ; The Basketball Which Kuroko Plays belongs to Fujimaki Tadatoshi. I do NOT own any character featured in this story.
Credits and References are put at the end of story.
He took the usual train that day—the usual train he takes every 30th of every month, from his hometown to the city. But it was January, and the weather has never been as vicious as it was. Though the end of winter was nearing, a blizzard storm occurred on that day, and surely turned the train much colder than ever, with the windows freezing, ices piling up on ever corners of them, and the road much bumpier than usual for the chunks of frozen balls were on the railways.
He began reviewing his teaching materials for the next day, turning each page of the book carefully and slowly. But he had to admit—that he was not concentrating at all. The freezing winds put his eyes into a drowsy state, but he knew falling asleep in the train would be too risky. He had some important belongings in his bag, save some toys he brought from his hometown for his students at school. He finally settled with watching his surroundings.
Some people were sleeping on their seat, some were wandering around the carriage, and looking outside he could only see a big bridge—the bridge he had always seen for years in his routine of boarding the train. From the changing season, he had seen different things on the bridge. In the spring, children playing kites on it; in the summer, adults enjoying the view of river as they fan themselves off their sweats; in the autumn, leaves cover the big bridge until it turns orange and brown; and now in the winter, the plain bridge turns all white, covered in snow. Then he looked around again—to think the whole people in the train carriage had not changed much either, including himself. Through years, they are just the same people in the same routine, and just as same as him; they have their usual seats and would hardly ever bother to sit in another car or even seat; because the train is always empty, their usual seats would always be available for them.
Then he continued to observe the people around him, the view being too boring to observe. He finally ended in watching the soundly sleeping hooded man, whom was only a few seats to his left. The man was one he had always seen during every of his rips; he had always sat in that seat, wearing a hoodie, sleeping rather soundly in the whole trip. Though on the other side, he has never seen the face under the hood.
・
Really, it has always been the same bridge, same train, same people, same thoughts—just different times.
・
Just when he was watching the hooded man, the train had a sudden brake and shocked the whole passengers within the cabin. An announcement came after, saying that the railway was blocked by ice cubes from the strong blizzard storm that had been occurring, and that they would have to wait until the cubes are cleared.
The bump woke the hooded man up. The teacher's eyes twitched and immediately directed his gaze to the man he had interest in. As the man stood, he walked to the toilet, or perhaps just a break to have some fresh air. The blue observing eyes had seen a little bit of the hooded man's face. The man had small lips, but rather broad. The shape of the mouth was beautiful and surely reminded him of someone. His countenance turned into a little of worry as he remembered the person which has the resembling lips.
A few minutes had passed, and yet the maintenance has not yet been done. Boredom eventually striked the teacher's mind, but he was not sure of what to do. He soon took up his phone and saw an unread text, coming from a friend he knew well.
'Kuroko! Have you arrived yet? I have some mochi for you.'
Just as his thumbs crawled over the touch screen keyboard, he thought of a rather better idea. He switched to the dialing screen and dialed his friend who sent the text message, instead of replying via another SMS.
The sound of dialing tones could be heard as he waited for the other to pick up. In his mind, he was a bit worried if he was actually disturbing the other or not, but once he heard a sound of clicking, he greeted his friend politely to start the conversation.
"Ogiwara-kun."
"Ah, Kuroko! It's quite rare for you to call me. How's the trip? Or have you arrived?"
"Apparently, I have yet to pass the halfway point… It's raining blizzards and ice cubes are blocking the way. So up until this moment the train has to stop for some maintenance on the roads."
"Ahh. I see! Too bad then. I've just returned from my hometown too, you see. And I bought some mochi for you too! It's really great."
"I'd love to have some, then. I'll drop by your house to pick them up as I arrive. But it might be late at night until I get there, if you don't mind."
"Of course I don't mind! I always sleep late at night, just so you know."
"That's good to hear."
Then chuckles had paused the two's conversation. Kuroko's eyes wandered off as he still had Ogiwara on phone, and eventually saw the hooded man whom had just returned to his seat.
"Ogiwara-kun," he called, trying to start another topic. "Are you free in particular? I'd like to have some talk, since it's been a bit boring here."
"Sure! I just got home, and I'm quite too tired to clean up my house. I suppose a phone call would be great, especially if it's with you!"
"Thank you, Ogiwara-kun. Um… where to start? I haven't thought about this yet, so…"
"Hmm, let's see. How about telling about your trip, Kuroko?"
"Ahh, that's right. I hardly ever talk about my trips, do I. Well, this monthly trip surely is not something special, and not something I like anyway. For the long distance, the boring train, and really, I only keep on seeing just the same things. Same view, same people, even same seats. Is not it boring."
"But isn't that a good thing? The more you get familiar with the people, the more you feel safe, don't you? Say, boarding a long train trip with strangers is certainly going to have goosebumps on you, haha!"
"Ogiwara-kun has a point," he grinned as he talked. "and the people actually looks all nice, too. I mean, there isn't someone with scary looks, or with annoying attitudes."
"Do you know any of them? You know, having people to talk to on the train will be fun. The trips will get less boring."
Hearing Ogiwara on the phone, he immediately looked at the people around him—but actually not more than the hooded man he has always been interested in. He soon lowered his voice, to make sure the man could not hear him talking on the phone.
"I don't know how to make friends that well with complete strangers like this, since we might not even share the same interests," he uttered, as he heard his company's laughter on phone. "But there is one man I'd like to know, actually. He always wears a hoodie, which is why I don't know his face, but his attitude is quite interesting. I always see him on the same seat on every of my trips, too. It's easy to find him."
"Then get yourself to know about him, haha! If you find someone interesting, then why hesitate on getting to know him? Same as what I did back then in elementary, when I found you in the court. I found you interesting, so I tried greeting you!"
"Ahaha, I'm not a good greeter to begin with," and he had a little pause.
"Um, what really got me into him just now, was his mouth. Not that I'm a stalker or anything, I just find him interesting—and I saw his lips earlier when he stood up. The shape was… unique."
"Unique?"
"Yes, his lips surely remind me of –someone-'s."
"Whose?"
・
"… Akashi-kun, if you still remember him."
A little silence occurred between the two. Kuroko's eyes grew fainted after he had mentioned the person's name.
"Akashi, is it? Isn't he your ex—"
"-Former captain when I was in middle school." Kuroko cut Ogiwara's words, having a little unpleasant memory flashing about the person he mentioned.
"I'm sorry, Kuroko. But he really was your…., right?"
"…Yes." His voice turned slower within the answer, agreeing to the other's question even though it was slightly gapped. He could understand the question well already. Kuroko turned silent after then, but he did not hang up the call.
"…I'm sorry. The conversation turned dark."
"It's alright. It's just that it has been a while since I actually mentioned his name."
"I see. I'm sorry again for being curious, but do you really hate him—even until this moment? What happened? You never really talked about him… so I don't really understand why do you hate Akashi so much."
"You don't have to be sorry at all, Ogiwara-kun," he lifted up his head and talked in a normal voice like he usually does. "I think it's time for you to know, after all."
"I'll have my ears open for sure."
"…We started being together when it was the second year of middle school. Akashi-kun had always been the strictest of all, but also the kindest, I think.
"During our days, we hardly ever be together, for he is a busy captain; not only a captain, but he lives in a quite strict environment where I can hardly ever see him—he would go home in a scheduled time, and so on. And I keep on hanging out with Aomine-kun and the others, after all."
"Aomine… He is the one who was Teikou's ace, wasn't he?"
"Yes, he is. Though, back then, I and Akashi-kun usually managed hang out during recess times. We spend time in the library, chatting and sharing stories under the tree, or enjoy the view from the rooftop. Aside that, we text and call through phone; if we had some free time.
"I can still remember some wonderful moments with him. One of the most flattering was, when it was in the summer camp.
"It was when everyone else in the bus was sleeping but me. I was sitting at the backmost seat alone, looking at the darkening view as the bus moved through the long highway, when then Akashi-kun suddenly sat beside me. I could immediately know it was Akashi-kun, because of his rather special way of addressing me.
"'Tetsuya,' he called me. Of course I got startled, but not quite surprised. I turned to him, and I could see a smile from him. A gentle one, that is. 'Akashi-kun.' I returned the similar greeting.
"'Why aren't you sleeping?' he started our little conversation in the night. I was actually just not yet sleepy at that time. 'I can't sleep.' I uttered, but the fact was actually that I hadn't yet attempted to sleep. He smiled at my words, and let out a little sigh.
"'You should sleep,' he said, in his gentle voice, being lowered to make sure that he did not wake up anyone. 'Tomorrow is going to be rough.' He added. But I did not say anything else after that. I only looked at his sharp red eyes.
"Then I felt a little touch on my cheek. It was not anything special, but what was weird was how he closed in his face a bit. I was nervous—not like I expected anything to happen, though.
"'Your blue eyes resembles that color of a clear blue sky. We'll surely see the clear blue skies tomorrow.' He said. I don't know why, but it did make a little flush in my face. I tried to hide it, but I couldn't. I find it such a memorable compliment, somehow. Then I thanked him. He only told me to go back to sleep, and surprisingly, I was able to sleep so well after the little talk with Akashi-kun."
"It sounds all okay so far… I even think it's more than heartwarming. Not everyone has done such sweet thing, you know?" Ogiwara let out a chuckle, finding the little flashback amusing. "Though… I've yet to see what broke you two up."
"It's a bit hard to explain… It sure happened out of the blue. Unexpected, in my opinion. I couldn't see it coming at all." Kuroko let out a sigh. "I'm not sure of where to start. But perhaps I can start with our days in the third year."
"Whoa, take it easy, Kuroko. You can just tell me anything that comes first in your mind."
"Um… Let's see. Basically, everything was alright, before that day. Though, I think you knew about Aomine-kun being unhappy in playing basketball, don't you? This is a bit related to that thing…"
"Yes, I remember. Starting with that day you called me all of the sudden, instead of texting me."
"Exactly. I'm glad you still remembered.
"But, you know, Akashi-kun is a brilliant—more than just a smart person. In terms of basketball, he is an exceptional captain, a brilliant strategist, making well-designed games. Everyone who has him in their team must be more than grateful, for winning is guaranteed. In terms of academic grades, he is a high-IQ student, where he is just always seated on top of the rankings among all of us. He is also widely knowledgeable. General knowledge that isn't taught at school, he knows it all.
"Akashi-kun used to teach me a lot of things back then. He surely helped me out in my grades. If Akashi-kun was a private teacher… lessons would a hundred percent much more fun.
"That's why, when on that day he gave me such an unpleasant answer, I was shocked. It was not like Akashi-kun to say such things."
"… What actually happened on that day?"
"Our third year days started normally. Everything was fine, especially that we've started to gain trust on each other. You know, I mean no offense, but I did take quite a part in winning the inter-middle championship, if you still remember it. The ones against Kamata West, and the team finally recognizes me…"
"Yeah. Of course I remember! Aomine finally played well with you. Or, I'd say, you played well with Aomine, didn't you? You sure are special, after all.
"But, Kuroko, I still remember that day. When you called me, and said that things weren't going that well. If I wasn't mistaken, they… lost trust in you, didn't they?"
"… Ogiwara-kun sure remembers quite much of my stories," Kuroko felt relieved for not having to say the unpleasant part, as he let out a slow sigh. "Um, yes. That time when they lost trust in me was when Akashi-kun started to change, too.
"But I thought his change was for his pressure. The lessons at school became difficult. We had less time to practice to spare some time to study. I don't really know what he was doing at home, but every time I text him, it was either he was busy with basketball club matters or academic grades matters. By that, we started to have enlarged our gaps. Akashi-kun no longer went to the library; he didn't go meet me in the recess times. Akashi-kun became much more a hard worker than ever. Though actually, thanks to his efforts, our basketball team stayed strong, with his very detailed and tricky game plans.
"After a while had passed, I finally got used to being distant to Akashi-kun. I have always thought that Akashi-kun is only busy for being a third year. I'd like to bear with the fact and remained silent.
"Until I finally realized, that such distance was actually one that caused everything. My relations to Aomine-kun had been rather bad to begin with at that time, so it was only natural for us to get more distant. He skipped a lot of practices, but he remained just as strong. Kise-kun acted quite normally, but he wasn't allowed to stay at school any late, so he had to practice basketball only at home. His plays eventually became independent—growing much stronger all by himself. Then, Midorima-kun became much more silent and I think a bit temperamental. He even once yelled me for not being able to score, considering his monstrous three pointers which is something I can only admire and something I really couldn't do. Murasakibara-kun, too, showed greed in his plays. Akashi-kun, as a point guard, it's not like he started abandoning the others and score himself, but… I don't know. His plays just felt off.
"Teikou became a monstrous team, aside the fact that we even rarely had practices. I even think that to grasp victory at that time was much easier than ever. With each's humongous—and independent—individual skills, it was not teamwork that brought us victory, but their independent scoring. And they, knowing that I can't score myself, started to lose their trust in me. I was put on bench for most of the time."
"Ahh, how evil! That must've hurt you a lot, Kuroko."
"Ahaha, no, Ogiwara-kun, they didn't tell me directly of how I can't score. But I can see it well from how they treat me. I, too, at that time, had a mindset that such thing is a limit to my potentials.
"Then, ever since victory was seized by their independent plays, they play basketball as if it's just a mere sports with having a ball go into the net. Teamwork was completely gone. There was then nothing to be proud of in our victories—it became something that happens without having to notice it. We stopped working any harder to reach the victorious point.
"Teikou has finally reached its true form. A team that is made to only win. They no longer need a phantom sixth man—a person who utilizes their teammates' strength. But do they even consider themselves as teammates?
"Everyone evolved like Aomine-kun. Everyone's face became as dark. Their faces almost looked like they were saying, 'Basketball is to score and to win.' And not to bring proudness and happiness to the team."
Kuroko's words stopped as he recalled any further of his memories. He reached his state of being at loss of words, his piece of mind being painful memories. As he tried to speak back on phone, the train started up its engines, giving a quick twitch to the blue-haired man.
"…Ah, the train's running again. Finally." He said, as he looked around. Before he noticed it, the skies had turned dark, though the skies were still pale colored for the snow storms. "Good then-! Told you, sharing stories makes time fly by!" Ogiwara's voice turned much cheerful, welcoming Kuroko's words of gladness.
The train engines started running as well as before. They started to go on to the city in its usual pace. Some noises of the train windows bumping onto the snowballs were inevitable. Though, having a phone on his ear, Kuroko pretended that there weren't any bugging noises.
"Yes, thank you, Ogiwara-kun. Now, where was I again…?"
"You sure it's okay to continue?"
"Of course, I won't mind. I want to let you know, after all.
"So, after being much left off by the team, uneasiness struck me every day. To think that they had changed that much hurt me a lot. No one really had loved basketball since then, but I still believe in one person in the team—Akashi-kun.
"That day, I made an appointment with Akashi-kun, being afraid that he might be busy for unscheduled things. So I met him in the empty basketball court—just the two of us. When I arrived, he was already there, practicing to shoot some balls into the net.
"In my usual voice, I called him out. 'Akashi-kun. You're early.' With his red blazing eyes, he turned at me, with his usual gentle smile. 'Tetsuya. It's rare for you to set up an appointment like this. What do you need to talk about?' his questions were straightforward, as his posture readied another shooting position. 'I don't know where to start, but…' I thought for a while, as I watched him shooting his ball to the hoop.
"'I think the supervisor is wrong… winning is not everything in basketball. Well, I do agree that to win has been our purpose being in Teikou's basketball team, but…' my words trailed off by itself. 'But, what?' Akashi-kun still waited for my words. He still took another ball, aiming for the hoop again. 'I think that, lately, we have been winning for nothing. It becomes something so natural, that there is no longer anything to be happy about.' I said those words as bluntly as possible.
"Then, Akashi's words pushed a stab right at me. He was speaking as he had another ball into the hoop. '…Where have you been, Tetsuya? I've always said that we don't need to care about each other, as long as we win. Then by winning, doesn't that make you happy enough?' I was stunned at his words. I was speechless."
"To think Akashi had always thought that way, after all! What is he, a winning robot?"
"I knew he had always wanted us to win, and try to not care at other. But I've always thought that it was meant for us to stay focused on practice. Just mere words in practice.
"That time, my head became a mess.
"'Then… what is victory? Winning is only a word when the entire team isn't happy in particular. Our way of winning isn't victory. We've abandoned teamwork. We've abandoned trust. All we do is get the ball into the hoop. In the end, our games have nothing to be proud of…' I blurted out everything I had in mind. I even spoke it out in a harsh way.
"Then my faint eyes could see the redhead coming towards me. His sharp eyes were directed at me. 'Why trust the other, when it's not even necessary for us in order to win? It's more likely a waste of feelings.' He said.
"I looked into his crimson eyes. There was an unshakable feeling in which caused me into shivering a bit. I felt that it was not like Akashi-kun to say so. Or has it been his true self—I wouldn't know. 'Akashi-kun… I didn't know you were this naïve.'"
"I remember his hand moving slowly towards my face after I spoke, caressing my cheek… but not in a way I like in particular. Everything was off at that moment. 'Up until now, I have never lost at anything. Because I win everything, I am always right. Therefore, you can't wrong what has been proven to be right.'
"'I'm sorry, Tetsuya. I have to say, this time, you are much mistaken.'
"After he murmured such words, I was left wordless. Even the one I trust the most, Akashi-kun, thinks such evil things."
"I know how you feel, Kuroko. That is… more than just heart breaking, isn't it. I'm sorry for that, though it might be late…"
"It's okay, Ogiwara-kun. I've already gotten over my feelings.
"Back again, before I left the court, after I heard his theory about victory, I only left one question to him, hoping that he would be back to his senses soon—though that didn't happen in the end.
"I said, 'Akashi-kun, aren't you tired of winning this way?'"
"That's what I've been trying to say! As I listened to your story, you know, it gets my blood boiling. Akashi became heartless, I guess? Like another version of Aomine."
"You can say so. Actually, I think if I asked the others at that time, they would just give out the same answers. They all play for the sake of earning titles—for the sake of winning, but none actually grasped the real victory."
"Well, that's a bit hard. In my opinion, losing sucks a lot; no one would ever want to lose. But if the team had tried their best together and still lose anyway, they're only not strong enough yet to beat their opponents! Having a victory with each's ego only results as a mere title. Nothing memorable, nothing to be proud of. Winning like that actually makes your energy and efforts into a waste. It must have been tiring and tough, Kuroko!
"But, in such state, I don't think they would come to their senses easily. Everyone having the same mindset, and you being the only one still having your senses, no one will come to consider your thoughts—unless they tasted defeat and then realize how they lacked trust in each other, after all—"
"—but they didn't lose at all."
Kuroko cut Ogiwara's words, in a lamented dark voice. Ogiwara was then put into a silent, but neither of them hung their phone up.
"… I see. Then that explains… why you hated Akashi. Until the end, still winning every of his games, he held on fully to his principles."
"Yes. Ever since that day, none of us texted each other. I was too hurt to ever text him, and he never started a conversation at me. At school, we rarely met each other. During practices, we remained silent. Though I greet him and talk to him, but nothing happened beyond that point.
"—And I finally quit the basketball club. I had enough with the team's pressure. I couldn't bring them to their style of victory, and they couldn't understand what I actually want. It was a complete check-mate state for me. In the end, what the supervisor said was true… That Teikou's basketball team is too impossible for me."
"You must've undergone a big pressure back then… I'm sorry I wasn't really there to be of help."
"It's in the past, Ogiwara-kun. There shouldn't be any regrets." He smiled as he uttered his words.
"After those events in the middle school, I went to Seirin, a school with no glorious title of victory. I had not a particular reason to go to Seirin back then, but I just don't feel like entering another school with a basketball team full of monsters like in Teikou. Then, I met Kagami-kun."
"He was Seirin's Ace, wasn't he?"
"Yes. Though he was similar to Aomine-kun, Kagami-kun was different. His plays at first are independent, but he learned how to rely on his teammates very quickly. He once went out of control… but I managed to get him back in one piece before he turned into a monster like Aomine-kun. He loves basketball so much, and he wants to achieve victory together with the others.
"I was back to feeling up and downs in basketball with Seirin's team. We were strong; we trusted each other a lot. I became much a happier person in a blink of an eye, compared to the year before.
"As for my Teikou friends… They had finally realized and came back to their senses as Seirin defeated them. First was Midorima-kun. He might not look like it, but he became a player who trusts his teammates so much. Perhaps playing with Takao-kun gave him some enlightenment, too. Second was Kise-kun. Kaijou is a team playing with a full trust on their ace. Kise-kun, being their ace, was still playing as egoist. As he suffered few losses, he finally realized to how to depend on his teammates—trusting them who trust him so much. Then Aomine-kun. I didn't know he would change. But I know that beating him would give a knock on his head. After his loss, he started to play with a smile again, having an evenly rivaled enemy. And then there was Murasakibara-kun, who then started to realize that he doesn't hate basketball that much. Everyone changed after our meeting in winter cup… but one."
"As expected, defeat sure taught them some lessons. I bet it feels more than something worth being grateful for, eh, Kuroko? But yeah, too bad there remained one person in his crown…"
"Akashi-kun, he… Right after that match when Seirin lost to Rakuzan for the first time—in the finals, he came to meet me and Kagami-kun on the bench. He became much more worse… worse than anyone can imagine. He said to me,
"'I told you, Tetsuya. I am always right. And anyone who opposes me shall fall. Seems like our former teammates didn't quite hold onto my words. They involve feelings in basketball—and that includes you.'"
"…And Akashi didn't lose for the next two years either, did he? He truly is an evil… Out of all, even someone like Murasakibara, I think Akashi is the one who didn't like basketball, after all."
"I'm not sure myself. He is just way too absolute to be stopped."
"I see. Now I think I get it, why you hate him so much. It's more than just being pissed off, eh? But did you really get out of contact with him?"
"…Yes. After our first year of high school, he changed number. I could have asked someone, perhaps Mibuchi-san, for his number, but I didn't. I stayed out of his reach.
"…I think that's all I can tell you. Not that there is anything more than that, though…" Kuroko let out a big exhale, as he finished his long story. He immediately showered his drying throat with a gulp of fresh water from the bottle he had kept inside his bag all along his trip. His shoulder kept the phone still on his ear, and listened to Ogiwara's words.
"Wow, Kuroko. I made you talk a lot. But really, out of anyone else, you can count on me to listen to your stories. I want to be of your help sometime, Kuroko." The still-cheerful man uttered. "Yes, Ogiwara-kun. I'm glad to have you as my best friend." The blue-haired teacher uttered, and then looked outside to the train's surroundings.
The weather had never been that bad. All was seen was almost completely snow-white, save some dark spaces were there for the day was getting late. The man looked to the outside in worry while hoping that everything would be okay, ignoring the rough sounds of the bumpy railway. The noises actually left a little uneasiness in his mind, but he tried to ignore it while wishing that they would just pass a tunnel soon.
After the slight pause, his friend's voice took his focus back to his ears. "Kuroko, I want to ask you one more thing, though." A slight hesitation of words could be heart. Kuroko hummed in confusion, in respond to his friend's question.
"What is it, Ogiwara-kun?"
The other's words were held in at the beginning, but it managed to finally strike Kuroko's ear.
"To think you didn't mention that you ended your relationship, after all. Did I actually miss that part or-?"
Kuroko's eyes widened, as he heard the other's question. On one side, he was surprised that his friend actually noticed such missing detail. On the other side, he wanted to keep himself as honest as possible, so he avoided telling about the status of his relationship.
"…I don't think it has ended."
The cerulean eyed man blinked, as he spoke in a meek voice. His eyes wandered off his usual focus, putting a gaze to the outside of the window beside him.
"…No one ended the relationship. It was left hanging.
・
・
"I still like him."
As the words came out of the pale lips, silence was left in the phone. There remained only the murmurs of the other people in the cabin and the noises of the train.
The teacher's face turned a bit flustered as he thought of what he just said. Trying to hide his previously much concealed emotions, he muttered in a rather teetering pace. "I mean, I still admire him a lot…! I have yet found anyone else to—" "It's alright, Kuroko! It's nice that after all your hatred, you're still able to love someone so sincerely." Ogiwara's laughter could be heard as he cut Kuroko's words.
"… I'm glad you see it as a positive thing, Ogi-"
The blue head let out a large cry as he felt a large bump within the train body. The sound was too loud to ignore—it woke up anyone from their slumber in the whole train. A large following rumble happened in a blink of an eye, with the train having its sudden brake on again. People clamored in panic, as they felt the train giving a tremendous shake, as if there was an earthquake.
"What happened, Kuroko?!" The other yelled loud on phone, hearing the whole chatter and horrible sounds through the phone.
"I-I don't know, Ogiwara-kun! The train is…" Kuroko took a moment to observe the situation in panic. The train started to falter off its balance, shifting the whole car to the right. Cries and squeaks of people in the train could be heard, followed by thunderous noises from another area.
"The train is falling-!"
・
The sides of the railway being a deep gorge, the strong winds of the storm had created a large pressure against the glasses on the windows, giving shatters and cracks on them.
The blue eyes witnessed everything that happened too quick for a man's normal senses to realize what was happening. Still having the phone in his possession yet let unanswered for his stun in the collapsing train, he got startled by the sound of glasses shattering from his right side. The piercing cold wing struck by his whole body, along with pieces of the small glasses that were thrown at him. For his surprise, in his reflex he threw away his phone to an indefinite direction.
As the train suddenly tilted to the right, every man in the train caused uproar; chattering and yelling in panic. The bottomless gorge could be clearly seen by everyone in the train—especially that some of the windows were busted open.
The collapsing train and the inevitable gravity pulled Kuroko to the widely open hole caused by the busted window. He made a loud short scream, as he could feel him sliding off his step, and eventually felt the wind stronger against him.
He managed to hold on the edge of his seat with his one hand, but he could feel the vicious breeze and bitterly cold temperature within his ankle. The little part remained hanging outside the bounds of the train.
Doing a slight pull up with his remaining energy—some absorbed by the freeze in his muscles—he managed to slowly pull himself back up. His eyes, directed at his upper side—which used to be his left side of his train seat, found his belongings flying down the gorge. As his biggest luggage fell down, his sight was cleared to another sight—the hooded man's legs hanging from unstable passage of the train.
Before he could try shouting for further help, another loud sound could be heard; this time a sound of explosion, along with heavy crumbling noises. Soon even before the crumbling noises were over, the train shook for one more time—making everyone in the carriage lose their balance. The shake was rather light, but for its big size, it caused the whole carriage in a large mess.
Another heavy bump could be felt within the carriage which Kuroko was in. The sudden jolt had surprised and panicked the whole carriage once more—as the train continued to obnoxiously collapse even more to the right. Some unpleasant screams were soon heard, that some people had actually started to fall off to the gorge after the quite big bump.
Kuroko, too, unconsciously weakened his muscles in reflex, and accidentally let go of his grip on the edge of the seat. His blue eyes widened, seeing his whole sight slipping off the view of the train's insides as he slipped helplessly through the widely open window, and feeling the freezing cold that slowly covered his body as he was exposed to the open air.
He felt the world in mute, losing the consciousness of the things happening around him. All left he had at that moment was his hearing senses and sight—his skins and muscles being too frozen to attempt another survival on hanging, his mouth not even trying to spit out a helpless yell.
He saw the whole train on the edge of the railway—only one side of the train wheel remained inside the rails—the other side had slipped off the narrow bridge, which obviously had caused the train to lose its balance. The horror he saw was too bad to be true, yet he believed what he saw with his eyes.
On the other side, having his hearing senses a tad weak for mostly are covered by the vicious strikes of the cold wind, he could hear someone calling for a mayday by the communication cord. In the moments within less than a second, he finally reached his emptiness of mind.
・
'Death smiles at us all. All man can do is to smile back.'
His thought slipped, as he slowly closed his eyes, letting his whole body slip, and his hands not trying to reach anything.
・
・
・
A slight tug; a strong grip could be felt on his one palm, halting the whole process of his body falling onto the dark, bottomless gorge. His eyelids became wide open as he realized that he had not yet fell from the train. His previously stopping breath turned into a suddenly fast paced one, for his surprise at who might have held his little palm.
In the freezing heat, he could see a faint shadow of someone. Kuroko trailed his sight from the sleeve of the person, and then slowly took a good look at the face. His face turned into a big shock as he saw who had such strong grip.
"Akashi-kun…?!"
He uttered in shock, firstly because of his failing helpless fate, then at the face of the man who had him in grip. The familiar face had crimson red and scorching color of yellow, a unique shape of lips and a blazing red hair which had been on Kuroko's lips just now.
"Why are you-?!" Unable to speak much, the redhead, in a painful face, uttered in a rather loud yell. "I have always been watching you!" And as the words came out of the other's lips, Kuroko realized that everything—every moment of his interest had never been wrong.
Before his own eyes was Akashi, the person he had always admired, and also the hooded man who had been quite an interest to his eyes. For years he had seen the man, yet for his short bangs and rather short hair too, his identity was kept hidden by a mere hood.
Left speechless in his critical state, he couldn't help but give another grip—though a weak one, to Akashi's hand.
"Ugh…" Kuroko's countenance turned much in an affectionate one; his eyes started to drop down tears which were immediately either washed or dried out by the strong chilly winds. "Akashi-kun…" his shivering mouth kept on calling the other's name.
"Stop crying," the other's voice stayed strong, though he actually had put on an unpleasantly hurt face, and his teeth grinding at both sides. "I need to pull you up. Hang in there, Tetsuya."
How he called Kuroko's name had put Kuroko into much of an ease. To think he had too many things to say, but the state was too critical, and the freeze had made his nerves stop working correctly. He finally held back every of his words, and kept everything in his mind.
How he was glad to see the person he had always wanted to see. How he had always yearned for meeting the person who calls him 'Tetsuya'. How he had missed the voice of the person he had always admired. How he basically just missed everything in Akashi.
In his effort of pulling the smaller man up back to the train, he let out ill painful moans in the process, resulting into a not too much difference that before. Kuroko still was hanging at the edge of the window, only gripped at his palm. Akashi's other hand remained on the sharp and cold edges of the window to keep himself from falling, but that was not the reason he was in pain.
As Akashi looked back for a bit, he realized how the fallen seats from the other compartment had actually trapped his one leg, making an exceptional bite of pain through his body. Kuroko, not knowing why Akashi had to clench on his teeth that much, stayed silent anyway.
Kuroko did not wish to be saved, yet for the many words he had to say to Akashi, he really hoped that Akashi could pull him at that time.
But Akashi's weakened muscles were not strong enough to let him pull the blue haired man's body, only making a shivering grip to both's hands.
"Damn it!" He let out a word to express his disappointment of himself, for his efforts couldn't get the other pulled back inside. "I'm all powerless…!" He murmured himself.
Kuroko, seeing how desperate the other was, realized that it was his fate, after all. The state was hopeless; no one would be strong enough to pull himself up, Akashi admitted that he was powerless, and all left was the option called miracle. But him, believing in reality, put aside the last option of hopes and decided to remain in such state until a rescue chopper comes.
"Akashi-kun… Don't push yourself, please. Let's remain holding hands like this…" The small wish came out from of the former phantom sixth man of Teikou, in front of his former captain. As he pleaded, he took a moment to observe the rather rare view.
It was surprise for him to see that half of the train had actually gone off the railway—it fell onto the gorge, leaving only the last half of the train. The bent form of the whole train now explained how the right side of the train wheels could go out of the rail and tilted the train in a pitiful form.
Kuroko was put into a stun in observing the accident that unbelievably happened to him on that day. Though, his eyelids were too weak to let him widen his eyes in shock, moreover his dried eyes for the tremendous wind.
Still hanging by the shaky yet firm grip from the redhead, Kuroko altered his cerulean transparent eyes to face the person that turned out to have always watched him. Silence had colored their fateful meeting, but at last the man in pain settled with opening up his turning pale shivering mouth.
"I'm sorry." He said. "For everything." Regrets washed his face with a saddened feature, but Kuroko had an opposite expression.
"It's not like Akashi-kun to apologize. Don't Akashi-kun. Don't say sorry." His voice was trembling—unknown if it was for the cold wind or his deeply concealed sadness.
"...because Akashi-kun is never wrong."
"…No." a straight response was given to Kuroko's statement. His heterochromatic eyes dimmed as he spoke his next words. "In my whole life, I have always been right. I win games. I win championships. I win against anyone…"
"…but you, Tetsuya."
Faint tears could be seen lingering on his cheek, but soon dried just as ever. The redhead's mouth shivered and the grip on his palms eventually turned stronger by the end of his confession.
Kuroko was surprised to hear so, but he simply did not like how Akashi turned melancholic—he was glad that Akashi did come into his senses, but he just did not want to see the image of the absolute emperor he had always admired to be ruined.
"As time went by, more and more regrets came onto me. I—"
"Don't, Akashi-kun."
The halt coming from the smaller man shocked Akashi.
"I don't like to see Akashi-kun being a despaired and regretful person," he explained his reason of denial, in a meek voice; his eyes giving an exceptional gaze to the other. "Akashi-kun should remain your strong-willed self and keep on winning everything. And I'll keep on admiring that brilliant side of yours." Uttering the words he long had always wanted to say made him feel relieved as he spoke. Then he saw Akashi's dimming eyes turning slightly to their normal state, though regrets were actually still in him.
"You should have forgot me along with your regrets, but let our wonderful memories remain." Kuroko added, while smiling gently.
Akashi was silenced in awe, and marked the other's words of wish well. "Tetsuya, you…" he was put into a speechless state, but in a good way. He was relieved how Kuroko had actually always seen their bitter parting in a positive way, which was quite unexpected.
"Ah, though, there is one thing I dislike from Akashi-kun." A slightly low voice were intended in it, then Akashi hummed in a questioning tone.
"Why hasn't Akashi-kun ever greet me in every of these trips? I have always noticed you, the hooded man, sitting there every time I board the train…"
"I thought I would only hurt you if we ever get along again." The sharp eyed redhead immediately answered. "So all I did was watching over you, trying to protect you if anything ever happens. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I want to be able to protect you all time. I'll hold you when the lights are out. I'll save you when the stars fall from the sky. I'll pull you in when the tide gets too high.
"But, tch… here I am, too powerless to pull you up…"
After the little explanation from the former captain of Teikou, he cerulean eyes sparkled in surprise, with slight happiness found deep behind the transparent blue color.
"Akashi-kun…" he called the name in a soft voice.
"Akashi-kun is so kind and wonderful."
The soft tone had melted a part of the absolute man's heart. A slight flush colored the freezing pale face of the man, though only faintly visible since little bits of snow covered it. He averted his gaze a bit to his tad bleeding hands caused by the shatters of the glass from the window he was holding onto.
As slight tug from the train suddenly happened again, the seats that had fallen onto his one leg and trapped it, moved a little, to pressing the hard steels of the seats more onto Akashi's leg which was snared in-between. Akashi let out a little moan of pain as he could feel a tough crack on his ankle. For the quite overwhelming pain, his firm hold trembled a bit, but refusing to let go at all, he held still the cold hand.
Kuroko did not know what had actually happened, but he could feel the grip loosening a bit before. But preventing any disconsolate effect on the redhead, he remained still, while trying to avoid the fact that he could not give any more power to the grip, for his body had completely be frozen.
"Akashi-kun, if I ever fall—" just as he tried to speak, the other immediately cut his words. "No. I won't let you go." And it silenced the teal head in an absolute way. The teal head smiled a bit at the redhead's actually quite persistent nature, but to think again that would be because of his strong wills.
"Akashi-kun, to think this is our first time holding hands, since we started going out." Kuroko started another topic immediately—having too much words to express, too many to say at one time, since he had long longed to meet Akashi. The blazing red haired man smiled gently, and tightened his grip to his hand. "I guess this is." He uttered. "Also, I believe we are still in a relationship even after all this long time, no?"
Kuroko opened his eyes wide. "Eh, yes?"
"I heard you speaking on the phone earlier."
"Akashi-kun, you eavesdropped-?"
A light smirk decorated the usually cold face. "Our distance wasn't that far. I heard everything."
The pale face from the blue eyed man went pinkish in a flash of time. To think that he did not know that Akashi had always been there, he did not anticipate any eavesdropping act, and so he talked in a normal voice in his conversation with Ogiwara.
"Once we get back, let's live together, Tetsuya." The small blunt request then came out from Akashi, surprising Kuroko. There were many surprises; up and downs within the moment they held still. All Kuroko could do was smile at Akashi as his agreement; with his pinkish face still not yet gone.
A few pause happened then. Akashi tried some more efforts in pulling Kuroko to the inside of the train, but he was too weak. All he could rely was a help from other people. But the situation was grave; chaotic murmurs still were in the train, either they were cries, screams, mourns or people calling for mayday in a repetitive way.
Kuroko took a moment to lift up his view, staring more onto Akashi's heterochromatic eyes. He soon noticed something in the other's eyes—though it was faintly covered by the passing snows.
"Akashi-kun, your yellow eye resembles the bright moon." His admiration of the sharp eyes had never faltered, especially since the one eye changed color into a bright color of the seas of rapeseed; he could not avoid the resemblance of the color to the bright moon he usually sees at night time—though not visible at that night for the storm.
But the other was not highly flattered—even, he felt like the other was only returning an old favor. "Tetsuya, you're bringing back old memories." A chuckle was in his spoken words, and Kuroko could only chuckle back.
After a little pause, Akashi wanted to return every of the compliments that Kuroko had said in the earlier moments. He simply said something in imitating the sentence Kuroko had mentioned in his conversation with Ogiwara—which he had eavesdropped,
・
"I still like you too, Tetsuya."
・
・
Remained in holding hands, the teal head stunned in happiness, they soon heard a foreign sound coming from an indefinite direction. To think again, those were sounds of choppers—undoubtedly rescue choppers that they had long waited. The people in the remaining carriages—the laast half of the train, cheered for happiness that they were finally having some help. Akashi smiled to the indefinite direction in gladness while Kuroko let out a sigh of gratefulness.
"Thank goo—"
Before the smaller head finished his word, a big bump occurred, collapsing the carriage's balance even more. A clamor happened in a blink of time—screams suddenly continued to fill in the previously quieted chaotic train; some more people, this time much more than ever, fell onto the gorge for their balance had stopped being focused after hearing the sounds of the rescue chopper.
The sudden imbalance, caused by the fall of another carriage on the front, had made Akashi lost his grip to Kuroko's small hand. Though a scream was almost ensued, he managed to still have the tip of the teal head's two fingers.
In a panicked state and widened eye, Kuroko clenched his teeth, ensuring that the state was too helpless to be helped. He simply gripped his other hand; his feelings being too mixed in despair, sorrow, regret, sadness and anger. Akashi, in a blink of time, raised his voice of scream to call for help, with tears starting to fall down to his cheeks.
・
He knew the state was helpless, but still he was desperate.
He bit the little of his bottom lip in anger.
His eyes showed more than just a blaze of regret.
His heart fully filled with his minds of cursing the entrapping seats that lowered his whole body's energies, and the freezing heat that kept their bodies frozen.
His throat immediately dried for his excessive screaming.
His mind still hoping for a rescue to come and save the person he actually still had always loved.
・
Not a single thought in his mind told him to let go of the remaining small grip-but as it slowly slipped off his hands, his screaming stopped, leaving a state of emptiness, as he watched the other falling through the rash snow storm in silence.
The small hands still tried to reach the other's hand. Kuroko screamed as he fell onto the unknown and bottomless gorge in a blazing speed, making the view of the man he admired simply dissolve within the thick snow storm.
Soon as he fell, he closed his eyes and simply felt nothing.
・
Hollowness.
・
The same state was also in the desperate man's mind, his rather bloody hand still reaching to the now blank space, only filled with the still-running vicious snow storm and the horrendous darkness. His mind filled with the flashes of the moment he saw the cerulean-eyed man slipping and dissolving onto the bottomless gorge, he knew he had no choice but to let go of all his regrets.
After all the effort he tried in not losing the grip of the other's hand, after the flatteringly sweet moments in their grave stance, after all the hopes that the noises of the rescue choppers had given, they were like meant for nothing.
To think again, as he turned back to take a look at his now broken ankle and the solid seats that had hurt him, the seats were actually that made him remain in the train. Before he noticed it, the train had become quiet—only the sounds of crying and regretful screams remained; many people also fell onto the darkness after the last critical jolt. The entrapping seats had gripped him; letting him hanging in the pitiful state, and resulting him to not fall even after the harshest tug.
Akashi, being silenced, closed his eyes as he heard the sounds of choppers getting closer. He could do nothing to change the past, and remembering how the other had wished for him to never regret, he stayed silent as he grasped a handful of glass shatters.
・
He was just… angry.
・
・
・
・
・
Compared to the buzzing sounds of the storm, the emergency department was completely nothing noisy, save the nurses and the doctor's murmurs as they checked on the victims remaining in the train after the unexpected accident in the narrow bridge.
The rescue team that had saved the few remaining lives in the train carriages were also in the room, as they enlisted the surviving people, and contacted the missing people's relatives—the best thing they could do, as an expedition to find the people who fell into the gorge would take too long.
Akashi lied down staring at the room's ceilings on a thin white bed, with a splint put on his fractured ankle and wraps of bandages within his hands. An infusing of vitamins and liquid were also applied due to his dehydration being too exposed in the strong winds during his time of survival before.
The redhead was all silent; his mind was just empty, trying not to think about the painful events he just experienced. But he widened his eyes as soon as he heard a nearby rescue team's voice in a phone dial.
"Mr. Akashi? This is the official rescue department. We are to inform that Mr. Kuroko Tetsuya has—"
"I'm sorry, I'm Akashi. I was with him. What do you need?" The redhead cut the man's words as he rose up his upper body.
The rescue team member went closer to Akashi to lessen their distance and pulled out a phone—Kuroko's phone. "Ah, we're sorry for that… You can have his phone. We retrieved this when we checked the things left in the train. I was only trying to contact the relatives of the missing people."
"But I'm not his relative-?" Akashi threw out a simple question, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, your name is on his starred contacts list."
After he heard the answer from the man, Akashi immediately opened up the simple phone being in low battery and having few scratches on the cover. As he opened up his contacts list, there were only two starred contacts; one being Ogiwara Shigehiro, and the other was his name.
'Akashi-kun' was written. As the curious redhead opened the contact details, he saw only his old cellphone number which he had long no longer use, but he was surprised to see that Kuroko actually still had his number.
He then closed his eyes, which was holding back his tears.
・
"I will live, now and then-for you, Tetsuya."
・
・
And the mochi remained still in its little box in Ogiwara's house. The loyal friend sat still beside the warm fireplace, thinking about Kuroko who ended the call in a worrisome way.
Soon, a call by Kuroko's number came up on his phone, making him feel much relieved and made him eagerly pick up the phone, but all there were in the call was Akashi's voice and the words of condolences.
・
~Afterwords~
Some notes. Kuroko and Akashi might have gone OOC. I have no means to defend myself, but after a span of ten years, I just think that people can change. But if you do consider it as an OOCness, then forgive me for the OOCness! ;;;;
Waaaaaai, finally finished this rough, long, and rookie writing! Haven't written a fanfic in a while—moreover, this is only like my fourth or fifth attempt yet in writing a fanfiction—till the end! xD (I make a lot, I rarely finish them.) And this is my first time uploading my fanfic into this site. I'm really sorry if the typography is really bad. I hope to learn as I write more fanfics though.
For the record, I saved the date and time of when I started and finished. Thankfully it was finished within five days!
Time created: Tuesday, June 18, 2013, 1:32:37 AM
Time finished: Sunday, June 23, 2013, 3:17:00 AM
Though it hasn't included further typography edits. Lol.
There is a credits and references section down there, but I'd really like to thank people who helped me and supported me. Especially Revixtion-kun, Antares-kun and Silver-kun, who clearly dislikes BL but still helped me by proo reading anyway wwww and since this is my first writing on FFn I get nervous sooo much but thanks to them my nervousness was healed lol
I really hope the long read was worth it. I'm a sucker for fluff scenes, so I'm sorry if the sweet scenes are lame, weird or any worse than that orz
Other than that, I really hope you like it! Please remember, if you have any criticism towards this writing, please do write it! I still have a lot to learn.
P.S I'm still learning English, forgive me for the weird, repetitive words and lack of vocabulary…
Thank you for reading, from the bottom of my heart!
~Author Notes~
More words I need to say about this writing. *sigh*
In case anyone does not know mocha, here is a short definition I copy paste'd from Wikipedia. Orz Wikipedia, such a savior tbh
Mochi: is a Japanese rice cake made of mochigome, a short-grain Japonica glutinous rice.
Unbelievably, I just had to, and always put in involvement of food in my writings, either minor or major wwwwww
~Credits and References~
One of the most important things! I just really have to list down some things. They are important. Without them, I'll never really go through writing this till the end. *bows*
Credits/Special Thanks, wonderful people:
・Revixtion, who gave me enlightenment very many times, and wonderful supports along!
・Antares-kun, who really supported me and gave me lots of ideas!
・Silver, who supported me from before I started till this writing was made!
・Fumiko-chan, who gave me an idea for fluff things!
・Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei, for making this awesome series!
References (they are going to be wonderfully weird):
・Wikipedia, for color references and hospital scene references
・Gladiator (2000 film), epic British historical movie, for monologue vocabulary references
・Bon Jovi's "Fast Cars" featured in The Circle (2009 album), for dialogue inspirations
・Bon Jovi's "Superman Tonight" featured in The Circle (2009 album), for dialogue vocabulary
・MacMillan Dictionary, for train, trams and cable cars parts references
・Sherlock Holmes series by Arthur Conan Doyle (1887 novel), for typography references
Once again, thank you!