So, this fic is just crack containing the new characters o:

Vicky – aka me

Katie

Alex

Beth

Emily

Lizzie

Enjoy the fic guys XD

"Vicky, give him back," Alex moans petulantly, motioning towards Myrnin, the man who is clinging onto Vicky's arm tighter than she would like since, hello, he is a vampire and she is human and pretty damned breakable!

"Vicky, please don't make me go with her – I'll stop trying to turn Amelie pink if you let me stay!" he begs Vicky who is very happy that her lover, Myrnin, doesn't want to leave her for a younger model… only two years younger, but still.

"Alex, Myrnin wants me, so either go get yourself locked away in that mental institute that Claire's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, Kim, is locked in, or move on," Vicky says gently, not wanting to hurt Alex's feelings, because she is actually weirdly nice, but not wanting her to think she has a chance with Myrnin.

"B-but, who?" Alex asks, making a o_O face, because she can't decide. Emily has Shane now, Vicky has Myrnin… Jason was snapped up by Katie – let's not even go near the entire ninja POW thing that went on in the fic also called ninja POW – and Michael belongs to someone or other. The author is not quite sure who he belongs to, since KATIE DID NOT ANSWER HER FBK, but she knows that someone has him.

Finally, inspiration comes, just as Katie confirms Lizzie is dating Michael, the hot musician who lives in the Glass House with so many of the people they are friends with… but not Claire. Nobody has seen her in a while, but they believe that she may have ran off to be a gypsy in the outskirts of Morganville. Nobody misses her: Emily is now dating her boyfriend, and Vicky nicked her room, playing the age card that because she is older than the others, she gets her own room.

"I know," Vicky exclaims wildly, flailing her arm out so widely that if Myrnin didn't have super speed, they'd have all been covered in some alkali that appeared in one of the series 2 episodes of CSI:NY but Vicky doesn't know the name of it because she doesn't really care. "Alex, honey, I know someone who is really lonely because he is depressed as the person he loves is in love with someone else… he'd really appreciate it if you switched your love attention to him," she grins at how evil this is, but knows that it's for the best… he has nobody and needs a love interest.

"Who is it?" Alex asks through tear filled eyes at the fact that she doesn't get Myrnin anymore… but she accepts it, with a tear… or five million :'(

Vicky takes a deep breath before exchanging a look with her love - 3 – before revealing the name. "Oliver," she says, saying the mean hippie's – according to Katie, that is – name as if it isn't as bad as everyone thinks. "Alex, listen… he's really lonely and he needs someone… he doesn't even really hate humans!" she continues with a grin, trying to bring Alex around to her way of thinking.

Suddenly, Oliver appears with a bunch of roses (red, of course) because the author needed him to show his spontaneity and evident way that he can love humans, if he is given the chance.

"My lady, let me take you out for a wonderful dinner," he says, bowing down to Alex to treat her as if she is a princess.

Alex looks over at Myrnin and decides that he would never treat her like such an angel, and promptly loses all feelings for him. she skips off out of the room into the sunlight, which doesn't make sense because Ollipop is a vampire, with her new beau, deciding that everything will be happy and dandy now that nobody wants to steal her hippie!

Myrnin is just about to suggest to Vicky that they have a competition about making some dangerous chemicals, when Michael and Lizzie burst in the door.

"Vicky!" Lizzie yells, tears running down her face. "It's Sam! He keeps threatening to leave Amelie and go out in the sunlight unless you go and see him!" she explains, and Michael grabs her in his arms to comfort her. Nobody has any idea why these two came, they just decided to rush in and destroy the perfect moment... -.-

Vicky looks entirely confused – hence the o_O again – before Myrnin rushes her through the portal, to find the red haired man standing perilously close to the line of light near the curtains in the Glass House.

"Sammy… you love me, not her!" Amelie cries, her face all red and blotchy as she tries to make the person she loves move out of harms way. As soon as Vicky enters the room – even though she could just be coming home because, hello, she lives here – she turns and shoots her an evil glare, as if it is her fault that he is there.

Vicky feels upset - :'( - about how Amelie hates her because she always tries to help Amelie out and does what she wants, so for her to be hated for no reason is pretty depressing for her.

"Sambo, get out of the sun now!" Katie yells as she runs through the door, followed by her boyfriend, Jason Rosser. "Sammy, Amelie loves you!"

"I love Vicky!" he yells back at them, looking as if he had enjoyed a few of Myrnin's choice tipples – whiskies – before deciding to take on his new suicide mission. Internally, Vicky blamed Michael for leaving Myrnin's birthday present on the table because there it is, half drunk – the half all in Sam's belly.

"No, you love Amelie," Vicky says gently, moving towards him. She stands in the sunlight, blocking the harm from him, and decides that she is sick of being the negotiator! : She had to do it for Myrnin and Alex, and now she has to do it for Sam and Amelie! Maybe she should just quit and run away with Myrnin to Australia: apparently they're having a summer long partay at the minute!

"I love you," he repeats, and a shock of pain shoots through her at the fact that she remembers that she claimed Sam as well as Myrnin at one of the discussions they all had on facebook… but he didn't need to know that. She could keep him as hers incase anything goes pop with anyone else but that is besides the point.

The author has suddenly decided that her character will have a cloak in her hand to throw over Sam and have magic powers of some sort to make him return to Amelie.

"I love Amelie!" he cries and she grins, smiling at Vicky now that she has gotten Sam over his infatuation with her. Amelie moves Sam from the sunlight and kisses him, to the wolfwhistles of the crowd besides for Vicky, the only sensible one out of the lot of them.

The two newly patched up lovers (it turns out that Amelie insulted Sam's dress sense, which made him think Vicky was perfect for him… which she would be… if Myrnin didn't exist…) leave and instantly everyone (Emily, Shane, Michael, Lizzie, Katie and Jason… oh and Myrnin) begin to argue about what is for dinner. Once again, Vicky is the only one who remains sane, and wishes for a whistle to make everyone quiet again.

They are such petulant children, she thinks to herself, but unable to get mad because they are cool people… but a whistle suddenly appears on the side of the room and she picks it up to blow.

"OW!" The entire room choruses a noise of pain as their eardrums begin to split at the noise of the whistle.

"Sowwy," Vicky says, upset that Myrnin is looking sadly at her, before smiling when he grins. "Guys… who wants PIZZA!" she suggests and they all roar in approval.

Vicky is very happy at being popular, even more so when Myrnin pays for the fifteen pizzas they ordered (the vamps are getting hungry :O) and smiles because she is the eldest of all the girls, and so the one who is in charge – as the boys are hopeless!

Everyone is happy and settle down to watch the new One Tree Hill series without another word, until a machine gun begins to fire bullets through the window. Vicky runs to see what is going on when someone bursts open the door and grab her, only to grin widely.

"Vicky!" Hannah squeals, one of Vicky's old friends from school who she hasn't seen in a long while. "Long time no see! We decided to make an entrance with the bullets – whatcha think?"

Vicky nods politely, noting how Myrnin is already dialling for Amelie. Within three seconds, she is present through the portal and has snapped the necks of all the invading humans who played no part in this story besides to show how a story needs violence at the end for everyone to live happily ever after.

THE END!

SO… whatcha think?

REVIEW! Otherwise I write another fic and everyone who doesn't review ALL DIE!

THAT INCLUDES PEOPLE WHO FAV WITHOUT REVIEWING!

Vicky xx