Bondage my lovelies. Consider yourself warned. I don't consider it very heavy with any of the other parts of BDSM and honestly I had plans to make this absolutely filthy but somehow it turned into all of this love and a little bit of healing because these two idiots are so dopey in love even when they're fighting I can't with them.
Crossposted to Ao3
…..
Four months and three weeks ago Henry gave her an ultimatum. Of course he hadn't called it an ultimatum, but it was there, her job or her family. Elizabeth chose her family, but she can't help hating herself a little because it was a difficult decision. She loves her family more than anything but damn she had loved her job too. Despite her concerns over the moral gray area the intelligence community was increasingly inhabiting, the core of her job, making connections, investigating leads, analyzing information, energized her. Now she doesn't know what to do with herself, how to fill her days. It had taken two months for her to wrap up everything at the agency to her satisfaction. The month after that had been spent moving to the farm. For the past month and three weeks she hasn't been doing much of anything and she's about ready to blow something up to create some excitement.
She applied for and gotten a position as a visiting lecturer at UVA but she will only be teaching one class and that's almost a month away. This whole free time and unstructured life thing is for the birds. Which is why she now finds herself staring out the kitchen window at 6 in the morning attempting to figure out why she takes down terrorist leaders without a problem(took down terrorist leaders she reminds herself, it's in the past) but can't work the waffle maker.
"Good Morning babe. What's got you up so early?" Elizabeth jumps at the sound of her husband's voice.
With her hand on her chest she turns around. "Jesus, you're going to kill me."
He gives her curious look. "You never used to be so easy to startle."
"Yeah well, I never used to be a lot of things." Henry sighs. She knows it was an unfair thing to say, she knows she needs to stop with these little barbs, they're not fair. Life doesn't feel very fair right now though.
He looks at the counter, which is covered in flour and the waffle maker she can't figure out. "You're cooking?" He sounds incredulous and she wants to lash out again, but she stops herself.
"I wanted to make waffles."
He walks over to look at the mess. "Yes. But why?"
"The kids love waffles." (And it also filled the time and felt vaguely useful). "It doesn't matter though. The stupid waffle maker isn't working."
He fiddles with something on the back of the machine and she sees it light up indicating that it's working. "Yeah, this one can be a bit twitchy. The other one is better." He reaches into the cabinet above him and pulls another one out.
"We have two waffle makers?" And they're stored in different places? Why?"
"Mhmmm." He is now stirring the batter she left out. "This is too thin. What recipe did you use?"
Allison comes running into the kitchen. "Yayyy! Daddy is making waffles. Can we have bacon too? I'll go get Stevie." She runs over and hugs him before skipping back out. And then the girls are running in with Jason trailing behind them. In short order bacon is sizzling, new batter is cooking, and Stevie is helping her younger siblings get juice. She feels displaced, like it wouldn't matter if she weren't here because everything would go on the same. She knows that's not true, that just because she doesn't cook them breakfast doesn't mean that she doesn't contribute in other ways, that her children wouldn't miss her. It's too easy to feel sorry for herself these days and she hates that. Elizabeth McCord is not one to wallow in bouts of melancholy. To fight the impulse, she reaches over and picks up her youngest and plops him in her lap.
"Mommy, too big to sit in your lap!" he squeals.
She nuzzles his neck. "Never, my sweet pumpkin. Never will you be too big."
And so breakfast goes on. Jason almost eats a whole waffle by himself and she's sure that in the next three months he will grow another three inches. Stevie and Allison fight over the last piece of bacon until Henry swoops it in and shoves it in his mouth. Then the kids are wandering off to find Saturday morning cartoons and Henry and her are loading dishes into the dishwasher.
As Henry closes the dishwasher and sets the dial, she sidles up behind him and pulls him back into her, kissing his neck. Feeling loose after a morning of laughter and family, she continues the kisses down his back and begins running her hands over his stomach. "You know maybe when Will takes the kids this afternoon we can have some bonding time of our own." She brushes the front of pants with the back of her hand as she finishes her proposal, her voice playful and her meaning clear.
He stiffens and turns out of the embrace, moving to wipe the counters. She wants to be hurt that he has maneuvered himself away from her, but she can't blame him. Their intimate life, even relatively low key intimacy like this, has been severely lacking the last few months. The handful of times they've had sex have been almost routine, feeling like an obligation more than anything, she hadn't even come the last time.
He responds nervously, "Ha. Maybe. I'm not sure I believe he's going to take three kids to ice cream and the movies mere hours after getting off a 15 hour flight."
Elizabeth chooses to act like everything is normal. "Well he did promise them. He better, they're looking forward to an afternoon of fun with their Uncle. Also, this woman," she points at herself, "is looking forward to an afternoon with her husband."
Henry shrugs and goes back to tidying the kitchen. She sighs and gives up going into the living room to see what unbearable show the kids are watching.
Come 2 o'clock the door shuts behind a very overwhelmed looking Will and some very excited (and loud) kids. Elizabeth had shuffled them off as quickly as she could, throwing her brother her car keys and warning him that Jason would make himself sick on popcorn if he wasn't monitored.
She moves to the kitchen looking for her husband. She sighs when she doesn't find him there, he's probably hiding in the study pretending to work on a paper. He does that a lot when they're alone in the house. They haven't done great at being together without the kids as a buffer, moving awkwardly around each other and doing their best to seem busy so they don't have to interact. She's not sure what they're going to do when the kids go back to school in a few weeks. She can't live like this much longer, she stayed for her family, for her husband and their relationship. She thinks about searching him out, coaxing him into doing something together, but it feels like so much work and she's so tired of fighting. Shouldn't he be the one seeking her out anyway? Isn't she the wronged party here?
She shakes her head, this isn't about wrong and right, but they are both going to have to figure out something soon though. They've had a handful of screaming (or really angry words said in low tones so as not to wake the kids) fights and that hasn't seemed to solve anything. A month ago she had told him she was tired of fighting and that she couldn't do it anymore, she had made a decision and their marriage would move forward from there. Henry had said he didn't believe her and with the passive aggressive barbs she keeps dropping she knows that's fair. It would probably help if she didn't feel so completely unmoored. It would probably also help if Henry hadn't been so damn right about everything. The CIA was going to consume her whole until she was nothing but bones and a cold analytical mind. The whole thing made it difficult for her to be angry at him, made it difficult for her to be upset at losing her career.
Maybe it isn't the best time to be seeking him out, instead she gets a glass of water and heads to the bedroom intending to start on a book she is thinking about assigning to her class. One page in and she's ready to call it quits, she's reread the last line three times and the meaning still hasn't penetrated her brain. She slams the book shut and looks around for something else to distract her, but there's nothing, just the empty bed that Henry and her had done nothing but sleep together in for far too long.
She's not doing this anymore, she stands up from the chair and walks with purpose towards the study. Maybe sex won't solve any of their problems, but it will damn certain remind them of why it is worth fighting to figure things out.
She finds him sitting behind his computer typing away.
Smiling, she leans against the door frame and goes for blasé. "Alone at last. However will we fill our time?"
He barely glances up. "Didn't you say you needed to organize your books." She huffs and walks toward him, stopping when she's leaning against the edge of the desk next to him. "Henry." His stops typing and he looks up at her. "This has got to stop."
"What?" he replies.
She rolls her eyes. "This. Us." she gestures between them. "We're not together. We're not us. We haven't had sex in….God, three weeks? And the last time left. Uh. Things to be desired."
He frowns and moves to take her hand. "Babe. I still love you. Things have just been...different. I haven't known how to be around you. If you wanted me."
"I always want you. What do you mean you haven't known how to be around me?" She shakes her head and pulls on his hand, tugging him up and towards their bedroom. "Never mind. It doesn't matter. Come with me, come be with me, I'll remind you what to do when we're together."
She senses a reluctant grin behind her as they enter the room. She turns around and smiles as she pulls her shirt over her head. "First reminder, when we manage to be alone together without the threat of little heads poking around the corner, we get naked."
He laughs and follows her lead, stripping his shirt off. She takes her shorts off and when he just looks at her, she arches her eyebrows. "All the way naked please."
"You're just so fucking beautiful." She tilts her head at his curse, he's not one to drop foul language often, he still likes to give her crap for her being at fault for ensuring that Stevie's first work was shit.
"You are too, which is why I'd like to see everything." She gestures towards his pants. He undoes them and pushes them and his boxers down, naked in a quick second. "Hmmm." She saunters towards him and puts her hand on his chest, tracing his pecs with her right hand, finishing up by flicking his nipple.
He groans and holds her hand to his chest with his hand. "This doesn't seem quite fair. You're not naked." She smiles and pushes him to go sit on the bed."Take a seat and maybe I'll take the rest off for you." He complies and as she does a shimmy before reaching to undo her bra, her phone on the nightstand beeps.
"You just wait there. Anticipation makes it all the better." She picks up her phone, flips it open, and reads the screen.
Her chest tightens at the words and he sits up straighter. "What is it?"
"Just Isabelle. She's complaining about Conrad's unreasonable demands and how she had to go to Turkey on super short notice and missed a date with a hot bartender."
She sets the phone down and sighs. Pasting a smile on she reaches behind her back, "Now where were me."
Henry stands. "Stop." he barks, she freezes. "This is what I'm talking about. You won't talk to me about this. You miss it. I know you miss it. It's okay to miss it. But this distance between us is huge. I don't know how to bridge it. Do you hate me that much now? You blame me for ending your career, you think there is nothing else to do to be useful to the world. That your job is over so your life has to be over." He picks up his boxers from the floor and puts them on.
She drops her hands and begins to pace around the room, ranting. This is a familiar argument, "Henry you know that's not everything. The CIA wasn't just my job, it was a significant part of my life, it was my purpose in life, well that and being a mother, it wasn't just some boring office job, it was a calling." She feels stupid using that word, but it was. Since she joined the agency during college she felt like the work was everything she was supposed to be doing.
He grabs her upper arms and holds her facing him. "What about me?" he asks fiercely. "Aren't I part of your purpose in life, isn't this an important part of your life."
"Of course Henry. I need other parts to my life though, you are my heart and my stars, but I can't live on that..." she trails off sadly and looks at the floor. She hears his mouth open, about to comment, so she continues. "This isn't about blame, looking back I would make the same choice again and you would probably still be right, I was into deep, I would have fallen down a well if I had gone to Iraq. One I might not have gotten out of. But..." She looks into his eyes "you need to let me mourn a little bit. Everything feels so…out of control. Aimless. I don't even know who I am."
He stares at her intently and suddenly pushes her against the wall and kisses her, slamming his lips into hers and forcing his tongue into her mouth roughly, running it around her tongue in a quick scoop before pulling back to run it over her bottom lip. He bites her gently and moves back just far enough to be understood. "You are mine. You are my wife and the mother to our children. You are brilliant and astounding and you are Elizabeth Adams McCord and if you were marooned on a desert island you would find a way to make an impact on the world. I have faith you will find your way."
She grimaces and pulls a face, but then he kissing her again and pulling her left leg up and around his waist grinding his groin against hers allowing her to feel his growing hardness. She moans, he feels so damn good. She's missed this so much. He kisses his way down her neck, brushing his lips across the top of her breasts. He sets her leg down and pulls her to the bed, sitting down and guiding her to stand between his legs. He sucks lightly on the curve of her breast as he undoes her bra. He slips it off her and all she can think is that yes this is what she wants but at the same time it isn't, it's not enough, she needs something more, she needs more of him. She needs to let go.
He sucks her right nipple into his mouth and immediately rubs his teeth over it. "Yesssss." she groans. She brings both of her hands to his hair and holds him there. He continues his ministrations, using his tongue and his teeth on the tip, switching to her other side after a minute. She loses herself in the sensations.
"Wait." She is breathing heavily, but she tugs on his hair. He stops and looks up to her. "I want. I need. Just stay here for a minute." She steps back from him on the last word and goes into their closet. She rustles in the drawers and reenters the bedroom, Henry hasn't moved an inch. She holds up a handful of scarves. "Please."
He breathes harder, but comments. "We haven't done that...in quite a while. Are you sure?"
"Yes. Please." she repeats and returns to her earlier position and knocks him back, following him as they readjust themselves until they are fully on the bed with her straddling his waist. She drops the fabric in her hands to the side and kisses him, hard. She can give as good as she gets and she takes charge of his mouth, battling his tongue with hers, gripping the back of his neck roughly.
He squeezes her hips with his knees and bucks up, using the momentum to flip them so she lands on her back. He is panting. "I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. You're supposed to be the one on your back."
She is cocky as she says "Well what are you going to do about it?"
He narrows his eyes and gathers her hands and places them above her head. "These need to stay here." She pushes against his hands with more than playful force.
"What if they don't?" She smiles cheekily at him.
Instead of responding he reaches for two scarves and gets to work tying one around each wrist and then to the slats in their headboard. She stiffens momentarily and he stops, shifting so that he is looking in her eyes. "What is it? Are you okay? Do you need to stop?"
He is being thoughtful and caring and a good partner but right now she needs him to take her. To make her forget everything and to just be with him. She purposefully tugs at the restraints and then uses her legs to wrap around him and pull him down. "I'm fine. You just pinched my skin for a second. Can you get on with things please." His eyes go darker.
"I will absolutely get on with things." He moves down to her legs and after removing her underwear, takes another two pieces of fabric and fastens them to her ankles and then the foot board. His smile has just a touch of evil as he runs his hands roughly up her legs and stops at her center, his thumbs parting her outer lips and pushing down. "Is that enough of getting on with things."
The moan she releases makes her exceptionally glad her children are out of the house. Fuck, this is more than they've done before. It's always just been her hands before and mostly loose enough that she could probably get out of it on her own. This doesn't feel that way, it feels tight, secure. Her sex pulses with need, she is absolutely soaked.
"Henry." It's all she can get out, but he must take it as confirmation because he kisses her again while his fingers work on her breasts.
He stops kissing her to comment "You can do anything. You could write papers and editorials and influence the world. You could mentor students and put 10 Elizabeth McCords out into the world, multiplying your effect. Hell, you could contract back with the government and continue to advise our leaders. I will be by you for any of that." He hasn't stopped playing with her nipples as he delivers his little speech and she finds it hard to concentrate, especially when he pinches and rolls them between his fingers.
"Uh-huh. Henry. Please."
He stops all movement and she wants to scream. He is vehement as his eyes stab into hers, "You are mine and I am yours. Don't ever doubt that we will figure it out. I will always find a way back to you. To this. To us."
Then his hands are between her legs and he thrusts two fingers into her with no warning. She screams and arches up as much as she can and when the fabric holds her down she feels herself get somehow wetter. He doesn't build her up at all, he just fucks her with everything he has while he maintains eye contact. She wants to close her eyes, to shut herself off from the connection, it's too much and everything she needs all at once. He slows down just a bit and she almost pleads but then he is using the fingers on his other hand to stimulate her clit.
"Oh. Yes. That. Ah." She breaks eye contact only when she has to close hers as she hits her peak. He doesn't stop or even slow down and she she feels the tension in her body, her muscles bunching tighter, the buzz of arousal that she thought had just been released only grows, her peak continuing to climb. She thinks about stopping him, but it feels too good, the edge of pain that is this pleasure. He adds another finger, now fucking her with three. It should be too much, normally three would be the wrong side of pain especially when he's going this fast but she is so wet, dripping onto the bedspread, that it just feels right. The hand that had been stimulating her clit relocates to her hip, squeezing.
He moves down, shifting his body so that his face is in front of her sex. She opens her eyes and watches as he takes a deep breath in. "You smell delicious."
She blushes, but before she can respond his tongue is probing around his still moving fingers. She isn't sure whether she wants to hold him to her and make sure he never stops or pull him away, but the fact that she doesn't have a choice only makes her temperature rise higher. Her entire body is buzzing.
When he encircles her clit with his mouth and sucks she screams again. He looks up, gazing at her over the curve of her stomach. He lashes the sensitive bud with his tongue before tracing increasingly tighter circles around it flicking the tip of his tongue against the absolute center before repeating the process all the while maintaining the suction.
She is panting, her words are gone. And then she is coming, again, her muscles contracting around his fingers. He stops his thrusts but only slows his tongue. And she would absolutely normally be pushing him away at this point, thinking she couldn't take any more, that her body was at its limit. As usual though, he knows her better than she knows herself and his continued stimulation extends her orgasm.
Her vision is graying at the edges. He pulls back. "I could eat you all day. You are divine." He sounds almost reverent. "You are the one I am lit for."
And of course he would quote semi-religious poetry when he's between her thighs and she is still trembling from multiple orgasms.
"Please." It's all she can say.
"Anything. Anything for you. I would do anything for you." He shifts himself so he is hovering above her, his palms pushing into the bed on either side of her chest. "I'm sorry I was selfish before. I could say I was trying to save you from yourself, that I thought you would go somewhere I couldn't get you back from, and that's all true but I was also just scared. I didn't want you to leave me. I didn't know how I was going to exist without you."
She shakes her head. "I understand. I never didn't understand. I love you." There's more to say, more to figure out, but it isn't the time. She lifts her head up seeking his lips. He meets her and they spend a minute exchanging slow, deep kisses.
He pulls back and reaches to untie the scarves. "No," she pants. He freezes, giving her a curious look. "I like it, keep them. Maybe just undo my legs?"
"Hmmm," he is contemplative, "You know for somebody who is tied to their own bed you seem curiously in charge." She rolls her eyes at him. "I'm just saying love, you don't get to make all the decisions." She must be feeling better because she doesn't even think to make a crack about how he's very good at making decisions for her.
He shifts down to the bed and undoes the bindings on her ankles. He straddles her waist again, running one of the scarves between his hands. The gleam in his eyes is probably a terrible sign for her, maybe she should rethink this whole staying tied up thing. It feels too good though, relinquishing control; she's not ready to think yet, she just wants to be. Ultimately whatever Henry is planning will lead to her pleasure, he enjoys it too much to do anything else. She just might have to suffer a bit first. She's not sure how much more she can take with everything he's already put her body through, but she's willing to see.
He leans forward with the scarf and places it over her eyes. "Okay?" He asks softly.
Oh fuck he's really going all in today is all she can think, they haven't played around like this is a long time. In answer to his query she raises her head so he can secure the scarf, he ties it to the side so it's more comfortable. He then shifts backwards so he is straddling her hips. She feel him run his hands up and down her sides a few times before palming her breasts and squeezing. He runs his fingers over her nipples a few times and she is already moaning. Back to back orgasms usually leave her lazy, weak, and extremely sensitive.
He leans in and kisses her and she gets lost in him for a few minutes, her tongue tracing his.
Suddenly she feels his weight move off of her body. She hears the rustle of sheets and the mattress dips indicating that he's moved off of the bed.
"Henry?" She queries after he doesn't say anything, she knows it sounds as if she's begging, but splayed out like this she feels especially vulnerable.
"Just admiring the view." God she must be a sight, sweaty and flushed, secured to the bed.
"Come here and do some admiring up close. I want to make you feel good," she pleads.
"I feel pretty good looking at you." She hears something clink and then he is back on top of her and his mouth is on her nipples again but oh god it's cold. She lets out a small scream and arches her back as far as she can. He has a piece of ice in his mouth, he must have gotten it from her abandoned drink. He is swirling the rapidly melting cube around her stiff peak with his tongue while applying suction. It's so much, tendrils of need are already coiling in her abdomen, begging to be released. She feels him reach across her and then his mouth is on her other breast repeating his actions with a fresh piece of ice.
When he pulls back, the ice melted, she whimpers. "Please." She's not sure exactly what she wants but she knows she wants him to do something, anything. His hands move back to her breasts and he lightly pinches her nipples between his thumbs and middle fingers while using his index finger to flick against the tip. The sensation leaves her moaning and her hips arching into him. He keeps up his ministrations while he leans forward to kiss her. His mouth is still cold but it feels perfect against her overheated one. He moves his mouth to her neck and bites down gently before sucking and he is going to leave a mark. Normally she would bat him away and complain but somehow it feels right and she just lets out a moan.
When he sits back up and moves his hands she's ready to start pleading again. Then he starts talking. "You're gorgeous, I could just look at you all day. Do you know how amazing you are?"
"Please tell me you're going to do more than look." Elizabeth is surprised she can get out all of those words because her brain mostly feels like mush.
He runs his hands up and down her sides. "Hmmm, maybe."
"Henry." She is going for stern, but it comes out mostly breathy. It's a little difficult to be commanding when she's tied up and blindfolded.
"How many more times do you think I can make you come? I do owe you for last time."
She's really done with this teasing, she wants him inside of her. Now. She tries to tell him as much, but all that comes out is a moan and a plea for more.
"More? Okay." He leans over again and then he is drawing a line with a piece of ice down her chest and over her stomach, stopping above her sex. She pushes her hips up and he moves it down, stopping it briefly on her clit which makes her scream, before moving the cube further down and pushing it inside of her. That makes her scream even louder. She tries to close her thighs but he holds them apart and he licks her in one big swipe from bottom to top. Suddenly he has another cube in his hand and he is pushing that one inside of her too, he follows it with his tongue this time. The warmth of it contrasted with the cold of the quickly melting ice has her spiraling.
He fucks her slowly with his tongue, lapping up her wetness. Her moans are continuous now. He shifts to her clit and she is done, heat suffuses her body and her hips are bucking wildly.
He moves up and she can feel him hovering over her. Then he is guiding his erection through her wetness, tracing it up and down. She manages to get out a "Now." He pushes inside of her and it feels perfect. He starts with a slow pace, but she's too far gone for that. She wraps her legs around his waist in an effort to get him to move faster but it's not working.
She pulls at the restraints and lets out a moan of a frustration. He seems to get it because he pauses long enough to scrabble with the knots and then she is free. She rips off the fabric covering her eyes and rears up grabbing the back of his head and kissing him. She uses her new leverage to arch up into him, encouraging him to increase his pace.
She pulls back from his mouth panting and wraps both arms around his neck. She needs to be as close as possible to him. He is moving faster now and it feels perfect. She sees the strain in his face. "Let go." she pants out.
"Again," is all he says. She knows what he means but she's not sure if she can. He moves a hand down and he circles her clit once, twice and she is coming, her muscles contracting around him, her brain completely whites out but she can dimly hear him groan and feel him release inside of her.
He collapses on top of her and he's heavy but it feels too good to move. They lay like that for a few minutes, both panting trying to catch their breath. Eventually he shifts and flops down on the bed beside her.
"See that's what we do when we're alone together." she says. Her brain is mostly working again.
"Hmmm." is all he says and she curls up next to him resting her head on his chest, he wraps his arm around her back pulling her closer.
A bit later, she's not sure exactly how long because they had fallen into a light doze she hears the front door slam and Will screaming "Elizabeth." She scrambles up and looks at Henry with panic. They are a mess, their bedroom is a mess. Henry offers no help so she quickly grabs a robe and opens their bedroom door. Not a minute too soon because little feet are pounding up the stairs. She quickly shuts the door behind her and then Allison is in her arms sobbing, something about how Stevie stole all of her candy. Stevie is yelling about how Allison is a baby. Will walks up the stairs carrying a green looking Jason. It's all chaos.
She gets Ally and Stevie settled in their rooms after promising Allison that she will buy her candy and lecturing Stevie about being nicer to her sister. Will comforts Jason in the bathroom until Henry, now clad in boxers and a shirt takes over. She exits Stevie's room and Will is standing in the hallway. "You let him eat too much popcorn didn't you?" she asks accusingly.
Will shrugs, "Maybe."
"Well you can watch them a bit longer while I shower."
He chuckles. "Yeah you probably should shower. Your hair screams sex, not to mention that hickey on your neck, good thing your kids are too young to know what it is."
She narrows her eyes at him, but he just laughs again. "Plus I was just in your bedroom looking for Jason's beloved stuffed animal."
She wants to blush, she knows what the bedroom must look like, the blankets all rumpled, clothes everywhere, the scarves still tied to the bed, but instead she walks away from him. "Henry" she calls out, "Let Will take back over, he's going to keep an eye on the kids while we shower."
Will continues laughing behind her but she ignores him. She grabs her husband's hand as he exits the hall bathroom and tugs him into their bedroom. He doesn't pull away from her and that's all she needs. When they are behind a closed door, she pulls him in for a hug. She breathes in his scent, she has him and her family, she'll figure out the rest.
…
Note: I don't have Henry and Elizabeth use a safe word, because if she said stop or no or seemed hesitant in any way he would stop (which is why I would consider this soft bondage), but please be safe if you participate in any similar activities, communicate with your partner, make sure you're on the same page.
"You are the one I'm lit for" pulled from 'To a Dark Moses' by Lucille Clifton