I wrote this while listening to Reba McEntire's duet with Jennifer Nettles, Enough. Ya'll should give it a listen. Have kleenex on hand and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
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Somehow Kathy had always known it would come down to this.
All eyes were on her as she entered the church with her children, all dressed in black. She and Elliot had been married for twenty-two years, separated for three, and divorced for two.
Divorced.
Even after all this time, the word left a bitter taste in her mouth. She had grown up a good little Catholic girl, and good Catholics did not give up on their marriages, no matter what.
And yet, she had.
Sad murmurs could be heard as she shepherded her children to the front row of the church, just a few feet from the coffin. A lump formed in her throat, just as it had the night she had gotten the call. How many years had she begged Elliot to transfer units, to take a desk job, anything where he would be safer? He had a family to think of, after all, and in the end, it had torn their family apart. Now Elliot was dead and their children would face the rest of their lives without their father.
The church doors opened again a few minutes later and a hushed silence fell over the room as Olivia Benson walked in, a tiny bundle snuggled in her arms. Kathy couldn't help staring at the brunette woman as she made her way to a seat close to Elliot's coffin. She looked haggard, sleep-deprived and…beaten. Something Kathy couldn't quite identify roiled in her stomach, something that had been there since the day she had first laid eyes on Elliot's new partner, well over fifteen years ago. The added presence of the infant cradled in her arms only made her hurt more. Elliot had never explicitly said he had fathered Olivia's child, but in reality, who else would have? She was not the kind of woman to have one night stands, and there was no denying her beauty and attraction to Elliot, no matter how much Kathy despised the connection forged by late nights, near deaths, and the constant presence of danger. Olivia had a part of Elliot that Kathy never would, and she hated her for it.
The service began, but Kathy barely registered it as she comforted her children and pushed aside her own sense of loss. He had been her husband, after all. Her husband, her best friend, and her first everything, as well as the father of her children.
Halfway through the service, Olivia stumbled to her feet and fled the church, and one of the other detectives Kathy vaguely recognized as Fin, chased after her. Kathy inhaled deeply and forced herself to focus on what was happening in front of her.
It was what was expected of her, after all.
After the service, Kathy ventured outside and looked around. She saw Fin holding Olivia tightly while Cragen stood nearby with the baby in his arms. She could almost hear what was being said, even if they were too far off. They were comforting her, Elliot's widow. Maybe nothing had happened between them, maybe everything had. No matter which, Kathy had always been the other woman.
A tear rolled down her cheek, the first she had been able to shed for Elliot since she had known he was dead.
Was she supposed to be this numb, this lost to the world?
More importantly, would she ever be okay feeling so numb?
Finis.