Title: Desperately Alone

Author: Rosie Rosen

Summary: "I had honestly wished Captain Sparrow and Will would have gotten there too late to save her. I liked being the only woman on board."

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Disney owns Pirates of the Caribbean and all its affiliates.

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I remember seeing her shocked stare as she saw us for the first time. I had honestly wished Captain Sparrow and Will would have gotten there too late to save her. I was selfish. I liked being the only woman on board. I wanted nothing more than to push her off the side of the ship.

We had stood there, silently, waiting for Captain Sparrow and his friend, William Turner, to come back, and she stumbled on deck, looking like a wet kitten. She looked at us as if we were going to eat her. She was afraid of us.

"Not more pirates…!" Gibbs stepped forward. Of course, she knew him! How coincidental. 'Now how what's for dinner?' I thought, slightly amused at the concept. As she talked with Gibbs, I looked her over. I crossed my arms and scowled. Stupid, pretty Elizabeth. I waited for the Captain to come onboard to discuss having Miss Priss on my ship.

He didn't come.

** * **

I stood at the helm, watching Elizabeth embrace Will. I grimaced and thought of Jack. Captain Sparrow. We hadn't ever been in any kind of relationship or anything, don't get me wrong. But he gets what he wants, usually. Mostly by some God-given luck. The rest of the time by playing people correctly. In my case, he bought me as much ale as I could hold, and then some, which I downed without thought.

What Jack didn't expect is that I tend to get very honest when I'm drunk. Honest enough to admit I found him attractive. I'm not sure if he was surprised, I can't remember. Probably not, the smug scoundrel. I don't know how, but he also coaxed out of me that I was untouched by men. And took it upon himself to remedy that.

When I woke the next morning, I was in Jack's room at the inn, my head was pounding, and I was astonishingly naked. And the great Captain Sparrow was nowhere to be found. When I had finally located all my clothes and paid his bill, I stormed down to the docks to look for him.

And that was when I learned he had stolen my boat. He had stolen my boat! He had stolen my boat! I let out a scream of anguish and swore revenge. Ages later, when Gibbs told me Captain Jack Sparrow was back in Tortuga, looking for a crew, I went to join it with every intention of beating Jack into a messy, bloody pulp.

Of course, when I saw him, the sight of his rugged, good-looking face softened me a bit. He even had the good sense to wince when he realized it was me. Instead of screaming "Bloody murder!" and tackling him to the ground to lay a few punches, I gave him a girly slap. Well, two girly slaps. To make up for the wrongs he'd done me, he promised I could have a bigger, better ship, which he wouldn't have thought of if he hadn't made a new friend of that sissy blacksmith. That ship was the one I'm sailing now. The one I, without doubt, own, since that miserable creature disappeared into the Isla de Muerta and never came back.

I kept my gaze on Elizabeth and Will. She looked so damn elegant. Even soaking wet. She was in an exquisite dress that's color reminded me of cranberry wine. I can't remember ever owning a dress, much less wearing one. Will was staring at her hand for reasons unknown to me (it must be a "love" thing), and saying sweet things to her. I found all kinds of odd thoughts were entering my mind. "I wish I looked like that." "I could get a man like him… if I wanted to." "I wish I was in her place."

The thought that surprised me was, "I want to be in his place." The only explanation I could come up with for that was that I wanted to comfort someone. To stroke her hand lovingly and hug that… perfection. I'd never had a friend that was a girl. I was so different than the trollops of Tortuga. Boyish and rowdy, that's me. They didn't want anything to do with me, a woman who dressed in pants and wasn't interested in the feminine side of life. But Elizabeth was different. Womanly, of course, but she was kind and sweet, not vulgar and loose, like the Tortuga whores.

Will took Elizabeth into the hold and I noticed, as they went down, that her hand had been cut. He would probably bandage it and they would kiss gently. Just as Jack had given me my first kiss that night, before the kisses had become steadily more passionate. I put Jack from my mind. There was no question that he was dead. Killed by a cursed crew and their corrupt captain.

The two people I wanted most in life to accept and love me would never do so. Miss Elizabeth Swann was too perfect. Captain Jack Sparrow was too dead.

For the first time in my life, I felt desperately alone.

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